Chapter 322 – Ozymandias

Chapter 322 – Ozymandias

CHAPTER 322 - OZYMANDIAS

Seeing my parents together sure was an oddity. In my mind, they remained two separate entities never to be in the same room simultaneously. I was under no illusion that they'd get back together or some other nonsense; my father had never been one to forgive large slights. Sure, he'd look you in the eye, smile, shake your hand and overall be civil, but he'd never, ever forgive you. He'd lost more hair this year than the last five, it felt like. It usually had just been on his temples, but I'd seen it thin on the back of his head on the way to this bench right next to their hotel. As for my mom, she was hollow, still grieving from losing my grandmother to Galactic. It was mildly terrifying, how hollow she looked when she'd been so peppy and bubbly before. It was almost like staring into a mirror.

Dad's arm wrapped around my shoulder, and he pulled my head on his. "I hope you've been doing better, Grace." Hearing him speak like that was enough to have guilt tunnel through my skin and into my heart. "Your mother and I..."

"We missed you," she exhaled, grabbing one of my hands. "We know you've been through a lot, and we—" Dad glanced at her with a warning in his gaze. "It's okay if you don't want to tell us right now. We'll wait until you're ready."

The tightness within me slightly loosened. "Thanks. I missed you guys too." I gripped the side of the bench and forced a smile. It was the truth, I had wanted to see them again despite how we'd had an argument, but... "Sorry for yelling at you last time. I understand that you're my parents and you want to know what's going on with me."

Everything just felt so stiff. Like I was speaking to acquaintances I hadn't seen in a while, not the people who had brought me into this world. It saddened me greatly, weighed down on my soul like an anchor, to understand that things weren't supposed to be this way, yet to know that there was nothing to be done about it.

My father cleared his throat. "So, Sam and I, we were thinking about what comes next."

"Hm?" I didn't like the sound of that. My instincts were clamoring to get out of dodge like alarm bells. "What do you mean by that?"

A beat of silence passed. "Please don't worry, we won't actually force or pressure you into anything, kiddo," he said. "It's just that you won't be staying on this island forever, right?"

"Right..." I murmured, glancing at the passersby to distract myself. This late in the evening, there were more people than usual, but not that many. It was good enough to have a conversation of this nature in public. Not wanting to intrude unless I gave him a signal, Honey was currently engaged in some conversation with a Raichu a few dozen feet away. I didn't know what it was about, nor if the Raichu was trained or wild, but he kept glancing my way every few seconds.

My mother ran a hand through my hair, which felt nice enough. "We think it'd be good for you to stay home. Not for good, only for a while," she quickly specified. "Maybe see someone like Aliyah again; they have good therapists in Jubilife." Mom raised a finger, as if she'd expected a rejection. "You could come by to Twinleaf if you need to get away from all the noise in the city; I—I'm just about done finishing the paperwork to inherit the house." Her skin paled, in that moment, like even thinking about this was sickening her.

"We think it'd be good for you to get some routine back into your life," dad said with a saddened smile. "I've been looking at getting you some piano classes for the summer, maybe. Meet some new people."

I sighed.

We were just;

Not operating on the same wavelength. They were looking past me, and I past them.

But given everything that had happened—

Maybe it was a good idea. Not that a therapist would work; Aliyah had been the best the League could offer me and I doubted even she would be able to help me as I was now. Maybe I'd say yes anyway to get them off my back, but I wasn't sure.

"Can I think about it?" I asked.

Both of my parents became joy incarnate, in that very moment. Pressure bled away from their faces, leaving only the happiness that could only come from thinking your child was on the road to recovery.

Maybe I was. I was in a better spot than I was two, four, six days ago. It was always one step at a time. Aliyah had told me once, that recovery was not a straight line, but a tumultuous path full of twists and turns. That it was about the destination and the work you were willing to put in.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'd think about it.

"Can we hang out a little more?" I asked, suddenly feeling a little shy.

My mother knelt in front of me and held both of my hands in hers. "Honey, your dad and I would want nothing more than that."

Dad rubbed his chin. "You hungry, kiddo? What do you say we go grab a bite from Arlyle's? They've got one a few streets away."

I wasn't hungry, but I wasn't going to say no to those fries.

"Sure."

—

The week-end.

"You know," Gardenia said for what she felt was the thousandth time, "the next time you need me here, it'd be nice if you didn't text 'I NEED HELP' in all caps."

It was the middle of the night, and Maylene had basically summoned Gardenia to her Gym— accidentally, according to her. Normally, Gardenia would be sleeping at this hour, trying to get her three to four hours of rest before starting work again, but life had other plans. The grass type Gym Leader yawned as she lounged on the mat in her friend's bedroom, resting her head on her palm. Usually, Maylene would have said something about not putting her hand in front of her mouth, but the younger girl was currently busy rummaging through her closet. Her laptop sat in the corner of the room, half-closed and dimly lit.

"I never said you had to come over!" Maylene protested, looking deeper into her closet. "I thought you'd just call me."

In the corner of the bedroom, Lucario groaned and curled up into a ball. Gardenia figured there was no way he was going to sleep tonight, with how panicked his trainer was.

"I thought you needed help with your dad, not that you needed help to pick clothes for your... hang out."

"If it was an Oscar issue, I just would have called Cecilia— sorry, that sounds rude."

"No, no, I get it," Gardenia lied. It hurt a little, that her little sister wasn't relying on her any longer, but to be fair, she had failed to actually show up when it mattered and Cecilia Obel knew more about handling situations like these than she did. Gardenia frowned, realizing something. "Wait, Oscar?"

Maylene nodded, still facing her closet and relentlessly tapping an anxious foot against the floor. "Yeah. She doesn't call Clarence 'dad' either. I took that from her." She shrugged nonchalantly. Gardenia wasn't used to seeing her talk about her father without shrinking in fear; she had made a lot of progress quickly.

Maylene threw a slew of clothes back, all of them landing on the mat-covered ground that served as her bedding. First to go were the martial arts gis. She pulled out a white gi, its fabric soft and worn from countless training sessions. She hesitated for a moment, fingers tracing the familiar material, before throwing it aside. Gardenia internally sighed in relief; what a horrible choice that would have been. Next came a variety of tank tops and sleeveless shirts. Bold reds, deep blues, and stark blacks fluttered through the air, landing haphazardly on the floor. Then came the athletic shorts, the sport bras, the jogging and yoga pants, the t-shirts—

"I don't get it," Gardenia said. "Aren't you just doing sports stuff together? Just wear something other than your Gym Leader uniform so you can be more casual and call it a day." She waved a dismissive hand at Maylene, who glared at her.

"I need to pick something that makes me look good. Obviously, I don't know what that is." She ran a hand through her short, pink hair and bit her lip. "Just help me out? Sorry for making you panic, I just— I was a little overwhelmed."

Nia sighed. "I can't be mad at you for long," she said with a slight smile. It wasn't like she couldn't relate to this; she had been nervous about what to wear when meeting up with Candice for... at least a year and a half after they'd met, and she still fished for compliments all the time. Gardenia sat cross-legged and hummed, grabbing a pair of gray shorts off the ground. "What I said does still apply, though. You don't have to overthink it, unless you want to ask the kid out somewhere else after or before."

"N—no! I don't. This is something to help her, nothing more."

Gardenia tilted her head, happy to tease her. "But you want to look nice."

"I do! But I don't know— I look too much like a kid and I hate it! I mean, they..." she trailed off, and her cheeks reddened. She looked down at her feet, as if ashamed of herself.

Gardenia's gaze softened. That was a new one; Maylene had never complained about her figure before.

"C'mon, Maymay, you look great, and you are a kid. So are... they?" Gardenia wasn't really sure about what was going on, but her time as a Gym Trainer and Leader had taught her to go with the flow of things. "Where is this coming from, anyway? The times where Candice would bring this up, you usually said a bigger chest would be annoying because you move around so much and it'd get in the way." It wasn't unusual for a teenager or even young adults to worry about these things. Maylene just had never been that kind of teenager.

Granted, she'd never been in love with anyone else before. Grace Pastel was somewhat average, as far as things went. That Cecilia Obel girl had... grown up fast, which happened sometimes.

"And even if you don't get any bigger, it's not the end of the world," Gardenia added, thinking of Candice— who was obviously the most beautiful girl on the planet, and it wasn't even close. "And hey, I'm not saying looks don't matter for... relationships of a vague nature." She gestured at Maylene. When she realized what Gardenia had alluded to, she told her to shut up through clenched teeth. "Okay, okay! Anyway, they do, but not as much as what's in here." She pointed at her own heart. "And you've got a heart of gold, Maymay. How sweet you are is your strongest asset. I'm sure your friend will think you'll look good, anyway; who wouldn't?

Maylene groaned. "Ugh, you're right; I'm just feeling insecure, I guess. I haven't been thinking straight these past few days." When Gardenia barely managed to contain her snort, Maylene squinted at her. "What's up with you? You were angry at me and now you're laughing at me."

"Hey, I'm not laughing at..." wait, she was laughing at her. "Anyway, if this is just to help her, why go through all of this?" Gardenia asked. "You know, you never worried about stuff like this before."

Maylene stayed silent for a few seconds and had that flabbergasted look she sometimes pulled when she ran out of words. Gardenia was having way too much fun with this, but she couldn't push that hard. Better let her realize that she liked Grace on her own without her doing— and honestly, that idea was still so weird and foreign to her that it left a strange taste in her mouth, even after she'd let it percolate there for a few days. She didn't know Grace Pastel much, but what she did know should have had Maylene less than satisfied. Maybe she was looking at it wrong.

She'd kept it a secret, of course; normally she would have told Candice already, but she was... struggling with Craig's death.Vissit novelbin(.)c.om for updates

Gardenia would have also laid it all on the table and told her about her feelings, had Craig not died and they both hadn't been swamped with work. There was only so much she could delay it by, but now wasn't the right time. Odds were, it'd just scare her off when what she needed was her closest friend, not to have to rethink and reframe all of their interactions since they'd known each other. All she could do right now was be there for her until she finished mourning, and then Gardenia could finally get the feelings she'd been carrying for years off her chest. She had waited for four years; she could wait a few more weeks.

Normally, she'd only act if the odds of success were ninety percent or higher, but screw it. It might ruin everything, or it might make her the happiest woman in the world. Either way, Gardenia was done wallowing in the self-pity of being in love with her straight best friend. A perfect opportunity with the highest chances of success would never come. She had to take matters into her own hands.

"Because... just because!" Maylene finally answered, threw her hands up and then jabbed a finger toward her. "Plus, you want to look good when you hang out with Candice, too! You always go the extra mile when you're with her outside of a work setting!"

Ouch. That was true enough, but in the most hilarious way possible. "'Guess you're right, Maymay, sorry about that. Here," Gardenia grabbed a blue top from the ground. "Wear this tank top— leave a little stomach exposed. That's always nice, and yours is great; your back, too. Wear the black yoga pants. Or I guess you could call them dark gray. They highlight your form nicely." She threw the clothes at Maylene, who caught them flawlessly, as always. Her reflexes were top notch. "There, you're all set. You don't need my help for underwear, do you? Though you know, if your friendship ever veers that way, I'm open to help—"

Maylene turned as red as a tomato. "Ugh, Nia! I've—I've told you a million times it's not like that!" she silently hissed, mindful of Lucario. "She has a girlfriend!"

"I'm just joking around." Gardenia snickered and went up to side-hug her friend, right before doubt began to creep in. Doubt at what if she was doing was okay. Grace had a girlfriend, one she was apparently very close with. She didn't know much of what had gone on in Coronet, yet it was evident both girls had gone through much with Maylene.

Was she a bad person for this?

Gardenia stared at the ceiling to think, pursing her lips as she debated her inner self. She didn't know enough about Grace or Cecilia to know if Maylene had a chance or not; she wasn't doing this with the goal of sinking their relationship, and to be honest, thinking about it a little longer, she remembered that both girls were supposed to leave the country in a few months, so her friend's odds were actually low. Chances were, the distance would turn this endeavor to a hopeless one, which meant that Maylene had to at least get a foot in the door and make this Grace girl notice her romantically before she left Sinnoh if she wanted this to be anything more than a passing summer crush.

Maylene had her work cut out for her, even if she didn't know it quite yet. Gardenia wanted to help more than she was, but going too fast might ruin things before they could take hold, and micromanaging a bunch of traumatized teenagers sounded like a bunch of work she couldn't deal with right now. Plus, getting involved involved would make her question her own actions even more.

It was just...

Gardenia knew what it was like, to pine for a girl with a hopeless crush— she'd known how that felt like for years. It hurt, even now. She could relate to what Maylene was going through, or what she was going to go through very soon. Gardenia knew Maymay well enough to understand that at her core, she preferred avoiding tough issues instead of tackling them head on, but it was only a matter of time until she realized her own feelings, anyway, and then the hurt would begin. It was why she was still pretending with this whole 'she's just my friend' shtick despite being emotionally smart enough to know better. She had blinded herself, hoisted her inner feelings onto a throne of lies, hoping it wouldn't collapse, hoping it would last forever.

Still, Gardenia decided there was nothing wrong with a little push. She watched Maylene hang her clothes back in her closet, humming a happy song to herself now that she knew what to wear. She couldn't have been more obvious if she hung up a sign spelling out 'I'm in love' on her back. Honestly it was a wonder the other girls hadn't figured this out already, with how often they saw or spoke to each other.

Ah, this is so confusing, she thought with a heavy breath. At the heart of it all, she just wanted to help her friend, the strangeness of the situation be damned. If it petered out or led to a preemptive rejection because Maylene couldn't be more obvious if she tried, then Gardenia would be a shoulder to cry on. Again.

"You know— what if I don't know what to say?" Maylene muttered as she closed the closet hidden in the wall.

"What?" Gardenia scoffed. "Don't you two text and call and stuff? There's gotta be a dynamic already established, right?"

"I mean, I guess? Everything feels kind of formal because I'm scared to overstep. I used to do it with Cecilia too, but she's a little angry at me at the moment and we just started talking again." Was that her way of reassuring herself that Grace was just another friend? Probably. "Anyway, it's not the same over the phone... don't look at me like that! We haven't been on our own since— well, since we got our hearing aids!"

"Ah, yes, the time where she asked if you wanted to get matching pink ones," Gardenia deadpanned. Not exactly a sign in and of itself, but it at least meant Grace considered they were close. "Wasn't that like slightly over a week ago? Just act natural."

Maylene's arms dropped limp to her side. "You don't get it."

"No, I do! You'll be nervous at the start, but hey, once you start talking to her about working out, you'll get into the groove of things and you'll be able to go with the flow."

Maylene's face went through a myriad of emotions, in that moment. She wanted to fight her, Gardenia knew. To go into every detail, as if they could plan everything she was going to say. In the end, she relented. "Yeah, that probably makes sense... wait, what if I talk too much and weird her out? Because I already talked to her about that stuff for way too long on the phone until she actually had to hang up and go see her parents. What if she gets bored of it, Nia?"

"I mean, she listened to it the first time over the phone, no? Did she sound bored then?"

Maylene fiddled her thumbs. "I don't think so? She always sounds super interested in stuff, I think, and she's really excited to get her body moving again."

"Then you'll be fine."

"...what if I make her work too hard on accident? My standards are way too high because I mainly work on myself and Pokemon..."

Legendaries have mercy on her soul. She wasn't even involved in any of this, and she was more mentally tired here than she'd been after work today. While Lucario snored, having finally fallen back asleep, Gardenia spent the next ten minutes reassuring her friend that things were going to be okay. That so long as she didn't overthink things, she'd live through tomorrow fine and hopefully have a great time. It felt good to see her be a normal kid and worry about crushes, for a change. After the shadow that Galactic had hung over Sinnoh, talks like this were welcomed.

Maylene quietly crawled to her laptop, typed a short sentence and started rhythmically clicking on the trackpad. "Thanks, Nia. Sorry for calling you over so late, I'll make it up to you somehow. You can give me some of your paperwork, if you want; if you give me the right info I'll fill it out for you."

"Nah, don't worry about it, just have a good time on your... whatever this is."

"It's a lesson. She's my student and I'm her gym coach." She sounded slightly miffed, just like every time Gardenia had tried to hint that maybe there was something more to this. "Alright, I'll call your Kadabra over; he must have gone downstairs to exchange knowledge with mine when he realized this would take long." Maylene slowly got up and tiptoed around Lucario. "Feel free to stay here in the meantime, I'll bring him."

So;

It hadn't been Gardenia's goal to look at what was on Maylene's laptop screen. She'd just gone to look out the window to get some fresh air. Veilstone's was noticeably worst than Eterna's, and Gardenia believed they should have started working on a green city program to solve some of their pollution issues, but one thing at a time—

Anyway, when she turned back around, all disappointed in the air quality, she noticed something in the corner of her eye, and it really wasn't her fault that Maylene hadn't put her laptop to sleep or turned it off. Gardenia had always been observant. You could put something at the edge of her peripheral vision for a split second and she'd be able to tell you what it was in detail nine times out of ten.

'How to know if you are gay'. There were a few tabs open of articles or blogs about this, along with a test that would probably ask really obvious questions with really obvious answers that really, only gay people in denial took in hopes of getting a different answer. Gardenia would know; she had been in the same position three weeks after meeting Candice and she realized that maybe she'd been looking at her lips and thinking of kissing her a little too much, let alone having her on her mind so much to the point that she started having weird domestic dreams about living together with her. Getting a home somewhere next to a boreal forest to combine both ice and grass, getting married, growing old together—

Three weeks. "Damn you, Candice. You had me wrapped around your finger so quickly and you didn't even know it," Gardenia whispered in the night.

Anyway...

The point was: Maylene wasn't completely clueless. She would most likely spend the next hour or so scouring through this, though Gardenia doubted her nerves would let her fall asleep right away anyway. It was only a matter of time until that domino fell, and once that began, the revelation would be sooner rather than later, as predicted. Gardenia didn't stare for long, deciding to act as if she hadn't seen anything.

Knowing Maylene, there was a way she'd remain in denial even after this. Gardenia would strike a conversation with her about it the next time they spoke to at least get that first hurdle out of the way.

When Maylene came back with Gardenia's Kadabra, they shared a short hug.

"Let me know how it goes, okay?" Gardenia said. "Keep me updated on this; I'm rooting for you."

Maylene scoffed. "Wha— okay I guess? You're being weird."

"No I'm not." Nia squeezed her shoulders. "Good luck, Maymay."

—

Maylene's Gym was a lot more active this week-end than before, which made sense considering they were going to be the first one to reopen. I could see them filtering through the lobby, sometimes carrying heavy cardboard boxes or transporting Pokemon to other areas of the gym. I'd been waiting for a few minutes for Maylene to get here, but she was late. Maylene was a busy person, and though she did have the next few hours free, normally she would have thrown herself into work anyway, so she was using this time just because I'd asked her to help. My phone rang with a message from Cece— a picture of Sweetheart having fun out of the League with Scizor looking annoyed at all the noise she was making and Talonflame flying over her. I'd handed her over for the day so she'd be able to do something other than stay in a Pokeball all afternoon. Her size made it difficult to accommodate her and have her out at all times like the others, so making time for her like this was something I'd wanted to do for a while.

My body shivered, and I hugged myself. It was a little cold— I'd dressed with working out in mind, not thinking about the fact that Gyms had air conditioning on during the summer. It was the worst on my legs and neck. I had tied my hair up into a ponytail so it wouldn't get in the way, so my nose was starting to get a little runny. There was a change of clothes in my bag (along with the rest of my team; Mimi was around my wrist, as always, content to observe until they fell asleep) because of the plan to see Bellatrix and Nightstalker after this; even so, it was a little too late to get changed when Maylene would get here any minute now.

I spent the next two minutes scrolling through my phone until she got here, peeking her head into the lobby from one of the hallways leading upstairs to her room and office. She sighed in relief to herself when she saw me, and then responded to my wave with a timid one of her own. Nervousness was plastered all over her when we walked up to each other. The way her eyes darted around, unable to stay fixated on one spot; her need to take a deep breath before meeting me; her uneven steps when she was usually more confident in her stride.

Hopefully this wasn't too much pressure on her. I didn't want to get in the way of her work.

"I'm so sorry, I was... busy," Maylene said. She wiped her hands on her yoga pants and then hid her stomach by crossing her arms. I could relate, as someone whose palms sweated often when I was nervous. "I hope I don't look weird or anything..."

"Hm?" I looked her up and down. Honestly, I'd expected her to be in her official Gym clothes, but this was kind of typical for the kind of activity we were going to do as well. "I mean, you look great like usual? You're rocking those clothes for sure, they look good on you." Honestly, I didn't think she'd show this much skin, but it genuinely did look nice.

Maylene beamed, making a little Dedenne-like squeak. She must have really liked compliments.

"And hey, just letting you know, I really appreciate you doing this, okay?" I wanted to reassure her that I didn't have any kind of insane expectations, or anything. "We can just hang out and have a good time. Really, I just wanna take my mind off things."

Her breath caught in her throat.

Power over your own mind was never eternal; all misapprehensions of this scale were eventually bound to disintegrate into dust, either through your own reasoning, by getting dragged into reality or a mixture of both.

Maylene had tried.

She'd tried so hard. But there came a moment where one could no longer keep spinning a web of lies they wrapped themselves in; one where delusion would crumble apart from the tiniest moment like an avalanche started by a single pebble. Here, with Grace below Maylene, her golden hair splayed out around her head, radiating like the sun's corona; here, where her pale, sweaty skin and her freckles glittered under the ceiling lights; here, where she panted and stared up at her with her beautiful green eyes; here, where Maylene was close enough to catch her intoxicating smell.

Here, where she had asked Maylene if she was okay after she'd been the one to risk hurting her on accident.

In this single instant;

The grand facade Maylene had built, convincing herself she felt nothing, lay in broken fragments shattered beneath her feet. Every protective layer of this cocoon she had weaved around herself collapsed with but a single thought that spread within her mind like a drop of dark ink in water. A deep longing from far within that she had desperately buried within the deepest reaches of her mind and tried to keep under lock and key.

It hadn't been enough. All of that, undone by one mistake; one fraying notion that would both brighten and darken her world.

Ah, I want to kiss her.

This moment; it was perfect. Too perfect, and that made Maylene want to rip her heart out and beat it up for having a mind of its own. With this revelation came clarity. The truth now stood stark and undeniable. Every lie she had told, every facade she had upheld, every thought she had interrupted, unraveled in an instant. That feeling she'd had when looking at Grace and Cecilia had been jealousy at what they had. The constant need to look at her, the anxiety, the yearning, the dreams, the way she loved her so much that it fucking hurt.

It was all out there for her to see. No longer could she pull the wool over her eyes and ignore the obvious.

And with that clarity came the pain, because it was hopeless. Unrequited love that gnawed at your heart, leaving her hollow inside. Where every interaction would be laced with the sting of impossibility, and yet, she knew she would still cherish those moments, even if they led to nowhere. This pain, it was relentless, it was excruciating, it was agony.

It was love.

"Maylene?" Grace asked. She was frowning, now.

"Sorry," she said, feeling strangely calm. Her skin was tingling with warmth and cold. It was as if an hour had passed, yet it had only been seconds. "I gotta go to the bathroom."

Grace didn't say anything, so Maylene took that as her cue to leave.

She wanted to run.

Why did it have to be her?

—

The pace of her steps quickened the further away she got from me. My back lay against the ground, and I stared up at the bright, fluorescent lights on the gym's ceiling. If you focused and let it get really quiet, you could hear the ventilation chugging along in pipes right above the room.

I hadn't stopped her from leaving. Couldn't stop her. I'd been blind to it until now; the fact that she liked me, and not Cece. With the way she looked at me, things were undeniable. I'd only seen Cecilia stare at me that way, and for a moment I thought she'd actually go for it and I'd need to stop her.

Why?

Why, why, why, why why, why, why? Why me? I wasn't— I wasn't right for her— the timeline— I didn't embody virtue— this couldn't be real— it didn't make any sense— it wasn't supposed to be this way—

Maybe I had misread things?

No. No, I had not.

I exhaled, letting my hands cover my face. "What the hell...?"

I just couldn't make sense of it. The pieces didn't fit right. Even if she'd forgiven me for what I'd done during our Gym Battle, I had murdered dozens in front of her, thrown the entire world under the bus just to get my daughter closure, and if it hadn't been for her, I might have done so much worse and she knew it. I was just a sick, sick person who got lucky Cecilia even bothered to look her way. Who was lucky she'd even gotten another chance.

My eyes were tearing up. Sniffling, I slowly rose to the ground and stared around the empty gym with a vapid, empty feeling inside of me. When had things grown so complicated? Since when had she felt this way? It couldn't be before Coronet. Maybe after? During? No, that felt too soon. Things would just be so much easier if she thought of me as a friend instead of this.

To be honest, it'd be easier to pretend not to have noticed anything. To act clueless and greet her with a smile when she came back as if nothing had happened. She'd probably go along with it, too. It just wouldn't be fair to her, would it? I'd be using her. A finger hovered over my metallic bracelet, but I decided otherwise. None of my Pokemon would be able to help me with this.

What an unmitigated disaster.

"What do I even do?"

Talk to her right when she came back and let her down gently? But then she'd take her distance from me, just like when Louis had gone off on his own after realizing he'd had no chance of rekindling things with Cecilia, and it took months for us to actually be friends again. Cece would be leaving after Justin's funeral, and if I couldn't depend on her and Maylene was also not an option, then—

I wasn't going to survive without some major pain, even if I went back to my dad's.

Arceus damn it, what was I going to tell Cece? I had to tell her; it wouldn't be right to keep this hidden.

There were no clean options, nothing that would leave everyone unscathed and allow us to go back to how things were before. It was all different shades of how selfish I really was. One had to be, to not want to reject a girl she didn't love back romantically just for her own well-being.

—

Maylene barely made it back in time to her room before aura started whipping up around her like a storm. Her body felt tight. Untempered. Tears began to stream down her face and wouldn't stop. She curled up in a ball, rocking herself back and forth as the cold blue light encompassed more and more of the room, lashing out at anything it touched. Like the crack of a whip, sparks and arcs of blue energy flew out in all directions. Each strike left a faint, smoldering mark on the walls and furniture, as if the room itself was being etched with her pain.

She recalled her lessons; the many times she'd had to calm herself down from exploding at work because of how overwhelmed she got. Maylene took a few deep breaths, muttering assuring words to herself. She couldn't close her eyes, not when Grace breathless below her was still imprinted on her mind. Little by little, Maylene's aura receded within her. Her breathing steadied, her sobbing grew more controlled, and at last, her heart stopped beating against her chest like a prisoner trying to escape by breaking through their cell.

It wasn't fully contained; it still coated every inch of her skin, but it'd be enough to let people touch her, and that meant it was enough to grab a phone without breaking it, at least. Immense guilt wracked her when she glanced at Cecilia's contact information— more blue flames burst from her hand and cracked the center of her phone screen. Biting on her tongue to focus, Maylene called Gardenia for help.

Help with what, she didn't know. Maybe all she wanted were reassuring words that everything was going to be okay.

It took two calls for her friend to answer. On the other end of the line, Maylene could hear a bunch of people talking. Gardenia must have been in a meeting, but she'd answered the phone anyway, and thank Arceus, because Maylene couldn't stop herself from saying it.

"Nia..." she quietly sobbed. "I think I'm in love."

"Oh. Uh, wait a sec," Nia whispered Maylene heard a chair rasp against the ground. "If you'll excuse me, I have to make myself scarce," she spoke, louder this time. "Yes, yes, I know— It's a family emergency! Roland, you keep things running around here, I don't know how long I'll be gone. Arceus, don't be an ass. Five minutes. Ten!" As soon as a door closed, Gardenia sighed. "Yes. What happened, Maymay?"

What even had happened, in truth? What had made her have this thought, this malignance that had spread so fast it now encompassed every inch of her consciousness?

"I—I don't know, we were just... having fun and then I saw her. Really saw her. And now I just know that I love her, and it hurts, and I can't handle this." She clenched at her heart through her shirt. It was fluttering, confused as to if she should be happy or sad. "I ha—have no chance; it's utterly doomed."

Another door closed; keys jingled as Gardenia locked it shut. "Okay, now breathe, alright? I know it's hard, but you need to calm down and take a deep breath for me. Come on." The Gym Leader did so too, as if to guide Maylene through it. "Good job. Now, this is important. Did you tell her anything?"

"Wha— of course not!" She wanted to scream it out into the world, to tell her so desperately, but she wasn't going to ruin things. Maylene sniffled and wiped her eyes with her arm. "I don't think she knows."

"Can you describe the moment for me a little bit, if it isn't too hard?"

"Okay. Okay, uh, I was," a hiccup interrupted her, "She goaded me to spar with her, 'cause I think she knew I was feeling down. I held her hand before then, and I just— it was so right, but it also wasn't, so I stopped myself and kept my distance the rest of the work out." Maylene couldn't break her promise to Cecilia, especially when she'd been forgiven and they were talking again. Plus, it was just... getting in-between them wasn't something a good person would do, nor did she want to. "Anyway, the mats were wrong and I was running on auto-pilot, so I fell on top of her, and it was like the most beautiful sight I've ever seen, and she immediately worried about me, and—"

She clenched at her phone with a groan, suddenly wishing she had some tissues.

Gardenia whistled. "Oh, you fell for her harder than I thought—"

"Than you thought?!" Maylene's mouth gaped for a split-second, and she shivered. "You knew about this?"

"Maymay, of course I know. I've known since the day your dad came over and I saw you staring longingly at her and her girlfriend. At the time, I just thought it was a crush, not... all of this. I'm sorry for not telling you, I thought it'd be better if you figured it out on your own."

"I'd rather not have figured it out at all," Maylene moaned. "I probably knew, deep down. It was just easier to pretend it wasn't even there, because now it— now I know that I'm way in over my head." A short silence sunk in, and Maylene finally reined in her aura for good. "Nia?"

"Remind me again, how long were you on top of her and making eyes at her?"

Maylene pondered it for a moment, and the longer she thought about it, the more she realized it had been a long time. Ten seconds, maybe? Twenty? "Between ten and twenty seconds?"

"Shit."

"Do you think she knows?" Panic surged within her, turning her breaths shallow, and her leg anxiously bounced. She decided to stand up and pace around the room to distract herself, walking around her kitchen island. "She doesn't know, right? Right?!"

"Maybe? Let's look at this logically. She definitely didn't know until today, or she wouldn't have hung out with you and spoken to you that much when she already has a girlfriend, unless they have something like an open relationship or are poly or something, but I mean there's no way to actually know that. They haven't shown any signs of this, so let's just assume they're like an average couple."

Maylene nodded along, though she had no idea what the hell any of that meant. She was a lot more preoccupied with figuring out if she'd ruined things with Grace and Cecilia right now.

"If she knows, I'm sorry Maymay, but it's probably over? If she doesn't, you'll know because she'll probably act like nothing happened— you'd have to have to be insane to be that dense, but if she hadn't figured it out before now, then maybe it's possible." Maylene heard Gardenia tap something against her desk. "If she doesn't know, then the question is, what are you going to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what is your goal with this?" Gardenia's tone was a little stern, and she put emphasis on each word. Maylene knew why— she had known exactly what she'd meant, yet had acted like she hadn't because the question was difficult to answer. "I know what you're going through. I've been doing this song and dance with Candice for years— though she only had a one-sided crush, she wasn't actually dating anyone— the point is, if you want to give up, you'll need to take your distance. It'll be more painful in the short term, but better for your long term mental health. Think of it like ripping off a band-aid."

Even thinking about it was making her nauseous. "Do I have a choice? I mean, I have no chance— and I don't want to be a homewrecker. That's not who I am. So logically, I should..."

Yes, she should give up. Maylene needed to send Grace on her way and distance herself from her. Work would be a convenient excuse; she would probably throw herself into her Gym and work longer shifts anyway to distract herself from the pain, so it wouldn't even be a lie.

So she needed to.

She needed to...

Maylene winced, collapsed on her couch and screamed in a pillow.

"You don't want to," Gardenia guessed correctly. It was hopeless, it was meaningless, but she still couldn't give up. "It's going to hurt. It's going to feel like someone has reached into your ribcage and is crushing your heart," she warned in a grave tone. "I won't lie, the odds aren't in your favor, but if you really want to give this a go, all you can do now is act like your usual self, stay restrained no matter what you want to say or do to her, and wait for an opportunity. Play the long game like I did. Not that you have to wait for Cecilia to die, of course! That's not at all what I meant..."

"An opportunity for what?" She was genuinely asking, this time. "I don't want them to break up. They'd never be the same again and I'd feel at fault anyway."

Gardenia sighed. "Oh boy, this is complicated. Okay, then irrelevant of all of that, you've got to at least make Grace notice you as like, an option, and it has to be before she leaves. Plant a seed in her mind, so to speak."

"How do I do that? I already told Cecilia I would back off..."

Gardenia was seized by a wild coughing fit. "Excuse me?"

"I think Cecilia knew before me." Thinking back, it would explain a lot of her actions. The question was, why hadn't she gotten more angry at her? Why was she even speaking to her? The drama with her Hydreigon would have been the perfect opportunity to poison the well and make sure Grace would keep her distance. Maybe she was just that good of a person, unable to cut Maylene off in her hour of need even if she'd be able to do it with a single word. "I told her I wouldn't get too close."

"...Maymay, what the hell have you gotten yourself into?"

—

Euuuuuuuuugh.

This sucked. I was both physically and emotionally exhausted. My head throbbed with a nascent headache, pounding against the walls of my skull.

I checked my phone again, noticing it had been twenty minutes since Maylene had left. Part of me wanted to run off, but that was probably the worst thing to do, at the moment. Instead, I waited in the gym, looking around at the machines to distract myself from the sinking pit in my stomach.

"If she isn't back in another ten minutes, I'll try to find her," I whispered to myself. There was no way that bathroom excuse was real; she was most likely in her office or room. I crouched next to an inclined platform of gleaming metal and thick padding Maylene had called a chest press and pressed my face into my hands. "What a mess."

It'd be another six minutes until Maylene was back. I didn't dare to look her in the face, not when I knew. Instead, my eyes fixated on the ground, where her feet shuffled uncomfortably from side to side.

"Sorry I dipped for so long," Maylene muttered. "I had to call Gardenia because of work stuff."

I was too drained to try to figure out if that was a lie or not. "It's alright. I needed rest anyway because my legs still hurt."

"They're going to hurt a lot longer than this, trust me." She cleared her throat, grabbing her own wrist with a hand in a self-soothing motion to close herself off. "I probably have to get back to work; we were together longer than planned anyway and I have a lot of stuff to catch up on, so..."

Thank God. This place was so suffocating now when it had felt so liberating earlier. "Yeah. Thanks for the help."

"You okay?"

I did my best not to freeze up and forced myself to look her in the eye. "Yeah! Don't worry about me. I learned a lot today; it was great."

"I'd— I'd walk you out, but I need to clean up here first. Put the dumbbells back in place and all of that." She rubbed the back of her neck and glanced away. "I'll text you later."

"Yep. Talk to you later." I grabbed my bag as calmly as possible. "Uh, do you guys have showers here, actually? So I can wash up and change."

"Yeah, just go back down the hallway and turn immediately to the left; they should be empty," she quietly said.

I took a step forward—

If I was going to tell her no, now was the time.

It had to be now.

Do it.

I pivoted on my heel.

"Maylene?"

She stared back at me. "Hm?"

"I can't—" I can't reciprocate your feelings. I don't like you like that, I'm sorry. Say it! "—wait to do this again."

A timid smile stretched across her lips, followed by a relieved sigh. "Thanks. Me— me too."

I left and opted to go shower at a Pokemon Center instead; this place was doubly unbearable now.

Fuck me.