295 Holidays ④ ~ Thoughts ~

"... are you okay, Asta? You look a lot darker, though."

At goodbye, Tour-Din said so worryingly.

"It's okay. Because I'm just a little tired.... Tool-din must have been a lot tired, huh? Rest your body as slowly as you can, okay?

"Yes, as long as you're embarrassed to fall asleep completely"

Thur-din bows his head slightly as he blushes his palpable cheeks.

"Well, thanks again tomorrow"

"Yeah, welcome. See you tomorrow."

I put a leather whip in Gill and I turned back from Din's house to the woodland road.

Meanwhile, the words I received from Lyelpham-Sudra are still whirling in my head.

I guess Lyelpham-Sudra is right that you don't need to stick to your own qualities. It's synonymous with not knowing when it's going to disappear, how dare you, not knowing when it's going to die, so it's not just a special fate being given to me. That has made me think about it more than once before.

And on the point that heterogeneous molecules like myself are allowed to leave their children, etc. - I've been so far around the woods and the inside of Genos that it wouldn't even begin to worry me now. Even if I left a child, I guess I wouldn't grow up to be as crowded as I am.

(But you can't really think about that when I leave my kids...)

In my original hometown, I am not old enough to worry about such things.

But this is a settlement by the woods. Marrying a partner is allowed from the age of fifteen. So I guess I don't have much else to worry about, as I learned by the woods.

But - then my annoyance got aggregated into just one thing.

(There's no way I can imitate that by welcoming my daughter-in-law from a strange house. Even if I stop worrying about my fate, that's all I can do)

I take a deep sigh as I put a leather whip in Gill.

That's how I'm worried, I can already see Fa's house. Din's house and Fa's house are a few minutes away from Totos.

I wonder if I-Fa will be home by now, and I will get off your podium and put my hands on the door of the house.

That's how I tried to force my rough fingertips - and all of a sudden a disturbing sound of gusari rang overhead.

"Oh, Asta. You left early today."

I looked back at you as I put my hand on my pulsating heart from time to time.

A familiar woman's face peeks from the tree standing just beside the house.

"Les, is that Rem-Dom? I'm surprised. What are you doing here?

"What a training from tree to tree. This is the power you need when chasing or looking for Giva."

Saying it that way, Lem-Dom stepped down to the ground from a height higher than his own.

It is as supple as a wild leopard.

"What's going on? You look kind of like you don't float, but did something happen in Dalaim?

"No, that's not what I mean. I have to think about it."

"Hmm?" Lem-Dom leans his neck to the shavings.

Originally a wild looking Rem-Dom, in the last few days she had become so fierce that nearly 180 cm long is regarded as powerful, as well as polished by the sharpness of her eyes.

"I had a bit of a consultation with Asta, but if that's the case, I think I'd better change the day."

"Talk to me? About work in the morning?

"Yeah. It's a little bit more of a story."

"Fine. I want to chill my head a little bit, too, so you can tell me anything."

"Really?" Rem-dom approached me with a powerful foothold.

Is it a consultation that would cover people's ears? Those fleshy lips come to my ear.

"That's sweet of you to say, let me talk to you... but don't be surprised, because it's a story that doesn't even clap a little, right?

"Yeah."

"Is it possible to have me your wife?

I glanced at the surprise and slapped the back of my head on the doorboard on the clap.

Rem-dom looks at me again, holding my head in silence.

"You idiot. I told you not to be surprised. Are you okay? Are you hurt?

"Yes, what are you suddenly going to say! Are you kidding me!?

"I'm not making fun of you for what you owe me. You think I look like such a dishonest person?

Say it out of your heart and put your successful arms in front of your chest.

"I mean it. Of course, you can't just hope that the future doesn't come, but you can't just leave the worst out of it, can you?

"What the hell would Lem-Dom want me to dowry if I assumed?

"Of course, that's when Dick and I didn't understand each other forever."

With his arms together, Rem-Dom shrugs his muscled shoulders.

"Neither do I feel comfortable abandoning Dom's house. But I don't even feel like abandoning my desire to be a hunter. You don't know if Dick will listen to my wishes, though you're going to do everything you can to make sure you know Dick somehow, do you?

"Yeah, I don't have a problem with that kind of muscle."

"So what happens to me if I can't go home to Dom's house for years like this? Even with training, you're still not allowed to go into the woods, and you're not just going to decay pointlessly. If it is, I'll have it made by some family member."

"I can understand that as well. But I don't understand the dowry story."

"Dom's house is one of the closest clans to the Chieftain Zaza house. I think there's only one house around the woods that accepts my presence that bought Dom's parents' anger."

Only plainly, Lem-Dom said.

"So, it's just gonna be a family. So, I figured Fa's house might buy Dick's wrath, too, right? But if we're talking about wanting to be my daughter-in-law, I'd have to admit it as a forest folk, wouldn't I? Marrying a partner and having children is considered the most important task for the woodland women."

"But Lem-Dom wants to be a hunter, doesn't he? Then you can't have kids."

"That's why if you're going to be my partner, you're the only one who can, Asta. 'Cause you're not gonna welcome anyone to your wife, are you?

"Well, who did you hear about that?

"Who heard rumors when I was being looked after in Luu's settlement? Didn't you say no to the dowry of the women of Lou?

I was supposed to be breathtaking to see if that was rumored.

But I wasn't officially asked to dowry, and I don't think Vina-Lou or Raina-Lou would publicly say such a thing. I wonder who the hell that is.

"Oh, it's not like there's such a story out there in the piss, is it? If I'm being exact, I just listened to a secret story."

"For your information, who and whose secret was that?

"I don't even know his name. A red-haired main house daughter and a young man."

Then maybe it's Lara-Luu and Sin-Luu.

Lara-Lew is how he grasped our troublesome relationship with that extraordinary insight, and if Sin-Lew were his opponent, he'd think it wouldn't result in spreading shame on his family.

"So, that secret story, was it true? Is it true that Asta doesn't feel like marrying anyone?

"Yeah, well... it's hard to explain in one bite, but I don't think you can help me think of that. So I can't even marry Rem-Dom..."

"It's okay. Because in my case, it's only a marriage of form. That way, you won't be stuck around marrying your partner anymore, will you?

Was Lem-Dom an arithmetic about offering me a fake marriage?

This is already arguably an insane idea of discourse as a forest folk.

"You think a hell of a lot, Lem-Dom..."

"Really? I don't think it hurts anyone."

Saying, Lem-Dom unwrapped the arm he was putting together and turned himself over to me again.

Its slightly hoisted, large eyes shine a glowing light.

"Besides, this isn't a very loud story either... but there are as many means of upsetting pleasure as there is of being careful not to conceive a child? In Inn Town, there are people who do business with it..."

"Well, that's a pretty amazing story, isn't it?

"Really? Well, it's considered a strong contraindication around these woods that people who haven't even given them a wedding can teach them how to do that, if Asta wants to, right?

"I don't want it! Contraindications shouldn't be made!

He is longer than me and more successful than me, Lem-Dom. If she thinks about moving unexpected thoughts into action, it won't be possible to force her to stop it with her arms. I put my back on the doorboard perfectly and let him show his intention to surrender.

Rem-dom nodded his tongue like a carnivore and then said, "Really?," he says in a teasing voice in his throat.

"Too bad. Asta also wanted to repay me for taking care of me..."

"Then please respect my feelings! You can't marry Lem-Dom to my wife!

"... you have a loud voice, Asta"

With that said, Lem-Dom pulled himself out unfortunately.

At the same time, the tone of stepping on the sand still sounds.

While I was very confused, I turned my gaze in the direction of the raised tone.

From the back of the house, the person just showed up as expected.

"What have you guys been doing since just now? If you had done your job, you should have freed Gill from the van.

"A...... Ai-Fa, were you home?

"I was skinning Giva behind the house. You didn't even notice that?

With a grumpy face with half-lowered eyelids, Ai-Fa approaches slightly.

I'm sure Lem-Dom also noticed the presence of I-Fa from the beginning. I smile at you without looking bad.

"Don't scold Asta, Ai-Fa. I just spoke up, and Asta lost her job."

"Then it's Asta's fault. We can do our job while we talk."

Saying, Ai-Fa unfastened the luggage truck and released the gill.

So - they tie Gill's reins to the tree branches, and they screw me on the side.

"So, what were you talking about? Sounds like you heard about the dowry."

"I asked Asta. I was wondering if you would welcome me to your daughter-in-law."

"Les, rem-dom, hey, hey -!"

"What? The dowry needs parental consent, so you can't go ahead and talk about it without an eye-fa?

And Lem-Dom started telling Ey-Fa the same thing he told me.

Ai-Fa remains silent, with the same expression.

"... so Asta refused to talk about it. As far as I'm concerned, I thought it was a pretty good idea."

"I don't know if it's a plan, but Asta has Asta's thoughts and feelings. Besides, shouldn't you be the first to think about getting your parents and your mind together, Lem-Dom, rather than getting ready in case something happens?"

"Of course, every day, I don't even think about it enough to crack my head. But I can't see how Dick can forgive me for my actions."

Rem-dom said that in a sigh.

"The only way for me to show righteousness is to show my power as a hunter, like I = fa. But I can't do my job as a hunter without the permission of my parents. And you can't raise your soul as a hunter unless you go into the woods and relate to Gibba. … it's like Morga's trifle."

"If we do go into the woods, we cannot nurture our souls as hunters. But you don't have to go after Gibba to learn how to hunt."

"How? Is it from Gibba's sleeping morning to Jomtien that the women are allowed to enter the woods? What can you learn in the woods without a giva?

"The answer must have already been given. But I didn't give you a word in anticipation of that."

Rem-dom shut his mouth a lot.

Then, "Balsha," he snaps low.

"The Balshas are also in the woods in the morning, hunting wild birds.... Yes, that's what happened, Ai-Fa"

"Whether the prey is a giva or a bird, nothing can be exchanged for a hunter who cannot be united with the forest"

Rem-dom nodded loudly and tried to get closer to Ai-Fa.

but he is intimidated by a sharp eye and hugs his own body.

"Ok, I = fa...... not everything will be filled with that, but first I will let you acquire what it takes to be a hunter. Exchange words with Dick after that."

To the unanswered Ai-Fa, Rem-Dom chuckled colorfully.

"Thank you, Ai-Fa. If you were a man, I might have loved you by forgetting my desire to be a hunter."

"Don't bullshit me, you lying bastard"

"I'm going to run up to the settlement of Lew for a bit. Now you'll be back before the sun goes down... I'm grateful you listened to me, Ay-Fa, Asta."

To put it that way, Lem-Dom ran away with a bullet-like momentum.

Totally out of poison, I look back at Ai-Fa without sorting out my feelings.

"Um, i-fa..."

"If you've done your errands, get to work. I'm guessing we're going to have dinner.

Turning all the way around, Ai-Fa tries to turn back behind the house.

On that back, "Wait," I said.

"Actually, I need to talk to Ai-Fa.... No, it's a bit of an intrusive story, so I'd like to talk slowly after dinner..."

"Then speak up then. Don't stop without meaning."

"Yeah, sorry. But I wanted to tell you in advance."

Ai-Fa looked back at me with a strong eye.

"Sounds like a really intrusive story. Did the rest of the women ask you to marry them, too?

"Oh, you get it? No, it wasn't even officially wished for..."

"... if you can't decide for yourself, I'll make my decision as a parent"

I say it off in a cold voice, and I = fa disappear, too.

It was going to be a long night, and I was going to take another sigh.

◇

"... so well, I didn't confirm my feelings with Yun-Sudra herself, nor was she officially asked to dowry"

After I finished cleaning up dinner, under the candlestick light, I was supposed to open up like that.

While loosening her golden brown hair, Ai-Fa snarls her nose with "Phew".

"How that girl feels about you, isn't that what she knew from the first day she showed up with Lem-Dom"

"Oh, really? I just couldn't have guessed from such an early stage..."

"Your eyes are a pit."

It is a word with no mercy or grudge.

But Ai-Fa has looked at me with a loose eye a lot of sharpness, saying so.

"So what? I didn't dare to say anything either, because your thoughts had changed. Does that mean you're so worried... that you want to change your mind and marry Yun-Sudra as your wife?

"No, I'm not. It's bad for her, but after all, I'm not going to marry anyone to my wife."

"Well," he said, closing his eyelids.

Usually, the conversation ends here.

But today, we need to talk a little more about stepping in.

I went on to say "but" while firmly reinforcing my feelings that I was about to screw up.

"I think Lyelpham-Sudra's best bet is as a folk by the woods. It may disappear one day, I'm sure it's an unacceptable story not to discharge my responsibilities as a forest folk for some uncertain reason."

"… it is the people of the woods who leave their children and nurture them."

With his eyelids closed, Ai-Fa says in an emotionless voice.

"Best of all, I don't have a right to say anything when I get rid of the job."

"Ai-fa is fine. Lyelpham-Sudra also said it should be forgiven because he does enough work as a hunter. Besides, Dick-Dom would've said that, right? I'm saying I'm special."

"But you're a hunter, not a hunter.... I see. So you're saying that Asta should have no children and raise them"

Ey-fa slowly lifts her long hair.

The eyelids are still closed.

"Right...... I once said that it may feel cumbersome to have more family than this, etc. If you are hesitant to take it to your dowry..."

"It's not. Even I told you it might get dark in front of you if you told me you were gonna take my son-in-law from the other house? That feeling... hasn't changed at all."

Staring at the quiet side of I-Fa, I was feeling my heart start beating like an early bell.

Don't get the words wrong.

Or can't cloud the words.

This must be the most delicate and difficult story for us to deal with.

"Until now, there has been no inconvenience, but by engaging with Sudra and other houses, I think this is no longer just a matter of being inside Fa's house..."

…………

"You're the head of Fa's house. If that were the case, instead of having the right to say anything, it should be a position where you have to take responsibility for the actions of your family. If I refuse to dowry from the other house, you need to know why, too, right? So I... as a member of the people of the woodland, as a family of Fa's, I think I need to make my feelings and thoughts clear to Ey-Fa."

"... That sounds a lot daunting. What are you going to tell me now?

"I won't marry my wife, that's why."

My heart was about to pop out of my mouth.

But I have to tell you.

I'm also guessing around Lyelpham-Sudra and Vina-Lou and maybe Raina-Lou and Lara-Lou, the truth in this chest.

"I don't feel like marrying anyone, Ai-fa."

"... how many times are you going to say the same thing, you?

"My identity has nothing to do with it. Minus the fact that I'm an inexperienced person who's migrated from the outside world, I'm not going to marry anyone to my wife."

…………

"I am, Ai-Fa... even though you may just get angry when you say this..."

I breathed heavily and swallowed the heart that was about to pop out, then I said.

"I don't think any other attractive women exist than you."

The look on Ai-Fa's face did not move.

Towards that side of the candlestick lit up in orange by the candlestick fire, I lay my words over it.

"It is very inconceivable to me to partner a human being other than I-Fa. So I don't feel like welcoming other women to my daughter-in-law, and I don't want to imagine you taking another man to my son-in-law. That's my... honesty."

"... does that mean you want me to be your partner?

"No, it's not.... No, it's not that I'm not... Well, I wonder how happy I would be if I could accompany Ey-Fa."

Somehow the blood flow momentum was already tremendous and the area around the temples was about to burst.

It may have been a shame that I-Fa was closing my eyelids.

"But I want to show the utmost respect for my feelings. That's what we talked about before and nothing has changed"

…………

"I'm half serving, but I'm a cook. I decide to continue cooking until I die. This is not the only thing that can give way to anyone anywhere. So... you think you're encouraging the hunter's work just as strongly as that, I am."

…………

"I can't obey you when you tell me to abandon my way of life as a cook to get a mate. So I can't ask Ai-Fa to abandon the path of living as a hunter to be my companion. … that's how I feel, honestly"

When I held my mouth, silence fell indoors.

Jijiji...... and only the burning tone of the beast fat candle is on my ear.

A second was worth a hundred times that weight, and it was on my head.

My heart beats me too hard, my chest hurts. The fist I gripped is sweating. I wanted to shatter this silence by sticking it up even with my unclear oddity.

How much time has passed since then?

Ey-Fa's cherry-colored lips began to move slowly.

"I 'm-"

"Yeah."

"I've always wondered how happy I would have been if I were a man and you were a woman"

"... yeah"

"That way I could also get a loving companion and leave Fa's blood by the woods. It must be... a blinding and happy future, that's what I've been thinking."

Saying so, Ai-Fa finally began to open its eyelids as well.

A twitchy blue eye of indistinguishable passion looks at me directly in the front.

"I've never felt more important to the rest of you. To me, you are irreplaceable. If I lose you, I'll never be able to laugh from my heart again."

"... that's what I think too, Ai-Fa"

I accidentally blurred my voice.

Ai-Fa closes her eyelids all the time and then looks at me again.

"But I'm a woman, and you're a man. If I become your companion, I will no longer be able to live as a hunter. So..."

"I know, Ai-Fa. I'm more important than anything."

And I guess I'm the one who's accepting Ey-Fa, the hunter, as it is, again - that's why he cares so much. I'm the one who cares so much and still doesn't wish for a dowry, so I'm sure Ai-Fa thinks he's irreplaceable about me.

Tasted at the same time with the clogged happiness of my chest and bitter sadness, I stared back at Ai-Fa's face with all my heart.

At some point, there was a smile on the face of I-Fa.

It made me feel, after all, as if it were a smile that gave me so much happiness and sadness as no more.

"... the world can't stay, Asta."

"Right. I really do."

"But I'm happy to meet you."

"Me, too, it feels so good."

When I realized I was kneeling in front of Ai-Fa.

Ey-fa, who should have been on the wall too, is only getting himself up against me at all times.

But we never touched the other body.

If I did that now, something could decimate me - I didn't know the truth about Ai-Fa, but at least, that's what I was thinking.

"But you're a crazy man, Asta. I don't know who you feel like welcoming to your daughter-in-law because of me... it's a total laughingstock"

At a distance of just a few dozen centimeters, EY-FA snaps.

Staring at that clear smile, I let him answer, "I guess so."

"Nothing would be a strange story. You were wanted by Darum-Lu, Diga-Sung, and Gaz and Ratz's men, too, weren't you?

"When I said that, you and others would have been wished by the Luu sisters or by Lem-Dom or Yun-Sudra"

"Rem-dom is out of the question. And I'm guessing Vina-Lou wasn't really in love either."

"Hmm. And in town, the women who admire you were indispensable."

Saying it in a whispering voice, yet Ai-Fa's eyes are laughing.

Maybe I was laughing too.

"That's an argument. Everyone in town is just delighted with my food."

"I wonder. Well, sure enough, if you're as good at it as you are, everyone's going to move their minds."

"For me, that's the best compliment. Well... the happiest part is when I'm happy for Ey-Fa."

Ai-Fa pushed silently for just a little while.

A smile disappears from that face, and a very quiet but tenacious look tapers up.

"There will be no other number as good as you. You have moved many human minds with that power. I am so proud that you are the family of Fa."

"Yeah, thanks"

"But... that's not all the reason I think you're important. Even if you lose your ability to cook like that Michelle... to me, you are more important than anything, Asta."

I let him say "thank you" again, savoring the feeling of happiness that paralyzed me in the back of my head.

"But you say a lot of ominous things. I'm going to continue to cook delicious dishes until I live."

…………

"What's going on? Don't hesitate to say anything you want."

Eye-Fa's eyes felt a little moist with tears.

No, would it be the addition or subtraction of candlestick fire? However, I definitely don't think it's wrong that you're rocking different emotions.

"Asta, you..."

"Yeah, what?

"... you think I'm the most important being, as ever, even if I've lost my power as a hunter...?

With all due respect, I said, "Of course."

Ai-Fa laughed happiest ever as she narrowed her eyes.