Volume 1 - CH 2.4

Chapter 2 - Progress (Part 4)

[Yono's POV]

This happened when Riku-chan and I were in middle school.

"Why am I the only one alive?"

It was a few days after the accident.

In the empty living room, Riku-chan muttered a simple question.

--- Why am I the only one alive?

Those words contained everything Riku-chan felt at that moment.

He didn't raise her voice, didn't cry, nor grieved.

He just stared blankly at the empty void.

I think he forgot that I was beside her.

Riku-chan, whose face was drained of emotion, stood there in the empty living room.

"Riku-chan, let's go, okay? Grandma's waiting for you, you know."

"............"

"Riku-chan......"

He didn't even turn her head towards me. I can't afford to ...... do that, can I?

What can I do for Riku-chan?

I know this is just my personal opinion, but I think my childhood friends and family are the closest thing he has next to her own family.

Especially us.

We met because our houses were next door to each other.

We've always been together since we were kids.

We came and went to each other's houses, bathed together, slept in the same bed......

We were childhood friends.

This relationship is a more solid bond than that of relatives, friends, or lovers.

That's how childhood friends are.

We grew up together since childhood. So it's only natural that we're always together.

Therefore, if Riku-chan is sad, I'm sad too.

I want to be there for her no matter what happens to her.

"Riku-chan."

"............"

"I can't say that I'm a great substitute for your family. But you know, we are childhood friends, so we can be close to each other like ...... family."

"Yono...?"

He sounded like he was about to disappear, but Riku-chan slowly moved her head to look at me.

"No matter what happens, I'll be there for you, Riku-chan. Just like before, no matter what happens, I'll be by your side as a childhood friend."

"............"

"We're childhood friends, so we should be able to accept everything from each other.

I looked at Riku-chan's empty eyes that reflected nothing, and I spoke my words with all my heart.

"Because we are childhood friends ...... and we've been together for a long time, in addition to our families......."

"............"

"Riku-chan, don't hold anything back from me. You can cry when you're sick, and you can also snuggle with me when you want. I, your childhood friend, will accept everything about you, Riku-chan."

To me, a childhood friend is a very pure relationship that is not influenced by the opposite sex, age, personality, or anything like that.

It's the same with family, isn't it?

No matter what kind of personality your mom or dad has, the essence of the feelings you have towards your immediate family is the same.

That's why I want to do everything I can for Riku-chan, my childhood friend.

It doesn't matter to me what kind of character Riku-chan has, and it also doesn't matter whether he's a boy or a she's girl. Childhood friend......

I want to be near my precious childhood friend.

But I was wrong about that────

My desire to be by Riku-chan's side wasn't because we were childhood friends.

It was because of my own feelings.

***

"......Riku-chan and Ayana-chan, they're going home together today too......."

Hiding in the shadow of the school building, I saw Riku-chan and Ayana-chan coming out of the elevator entrance.

Inwardly, I stared at their backs as they passed through the school gates.

"......The two of them, I feel like they're getting closer."

It seems like the two of them are getting closer day by day.

Not a day goes by where I don't wonder what Riku-chan is doing.

I held myself back with what little reason I had left, but I was at my limit.............

"Okay, let's follow them today."

With that determination, I quietly followed the two of them.

***

"Mmmm!!! They're ...... making out! They're making out ......!"

I had followed them a certain distance, and I was staring at them from behind the telephone pole.

Oh, Ayana-chan ..... she made Riku-chan do it! Riku-chan also got into the groove...!

No, it's the atmosphere ...... where they let go of each other before that. They naturally touch each other's arms.

"T-T-They come home every day ..... W-while making out like that.............?!"

No, Riku-chan. That kind of thing is still too early for you.

......No, it's not too early or anything. Since you are....

"...My childhood friend?"

Huh? I feel that something is different. It's remembering that we who were childhood friends──

Recently, I've been dissatisfied with our relationship, and I've been spending my days in a state of disloyalty and malice.

Above all, even though Riku-chan said "Nothing happened with Hoshimiya." but he went out with Ayana-chan and hugged her tightly.

Riku-chan hugging Ayana-chan. I will always remember that scene.

"Riku-chan, you're laughing with another girl besides me...."

Riku-chan, who seemed to have been told something by Ayana-chan, laughed a little shyly.

Seeing Riku-chan like that, I felt a throbbing pain in my chest.

"Why do I hate her so much ....... when Riku-chan is having fun."

Why wasn't I the one next to Riku-chan?

I know what the real reason is. It's because I dumped Riku-chan.

"But I still don't know ...... what it's like to be in love, and I don't know how to date someone I don't like......."

I just wanted to get a little more time.

I never thought about the opposite sex, love, or anything like that until Riku-chan confessed her feelings to me. I didn't have time to think about it.

I was satisfied with just having Riku-chan as my childhood friend.

That's why I want a little more time.

From now on, subconsciously, I believe that no matter what happens, I'll be able to be with my childhood friend.

...........I don't think that's a good idea.

"But I ...... definitely didn't reject Riku-chan......"

I'm just saying that, that I only see her as a childhood friend, not as the opposite sex.

I just need time to sort out my feelings and think about it.

"...J-Just wait a little longer, okay..."

I started following them again. Sneaking and hiding behind the telephone pole.

***

"I'm so frustrated ...... I'm so frustrated ...... I'm so frustrated ......!"

I was so annoyed that I could say it out loud. It was enough to make me involuntarily grind my teeth.

I stared at those coming out of the cafe from behind the telephone pole and tried to resist the urge to scream.

The cafe was made of glass, so I could see what was going on inside.

Naturally, I have a perfect view of the exchange of Riku-chan and Ayana-chan.

I had to walk back and forth along the street in front of the cafe, hiding my face with my bag, to check it out up close.

"............Huh? Why am I so upset?"

I stared at their backs as they walked on the sidewalk and composed myself for a moment.

I don't know what I've been doing lately. I've been rolling around with feelings I don't understand for a long time.

"Oh my God! I'm so annoyed!"

For some reason, I was unbearably angry. Moreover, I couldn't calm down.

My frustration was reaching its peak.

The atmosphere between them was like that of lovers, and I was so upset that I cried.

"Why do I care so much?"

As Riku-chan told me, we were just childhood friends in our relationship.

Childhood friends to me should be two people who are together all the time.

A relationship where we've been together since we were kids as a matter of course. It's the same with family.

A family that doesn't hesitate to be with me. Childhood friends should too.......

"Riku-chan has a very kind face. It's a face that he only shows me!"

My precious childhood friend who spent quality time with me.

That makes me very happy.

But if that's the case, why......?

I don't want to see Riku-chan right now.

I don't want to see Riku-chan having fun with girls other than me....

"I've never felt like this ............ before...ah, I see."

Until now, Riku-chan has never talked to a girl other than me.

That's why I've never had the chance to feel like this.... .......

"......Where did the two of them go? Only the station is there, right?"

Come to think of it, Ayana-chan goes to school by train - could it be?!

"I'll have to check it out myself."

To dispel the bad feeling, I chased after them again.

***

I followed Riku-chan and Ayana-chan onto the train.

I followed them as they got off and arrived at an old two-story wooden apartment.

"...Eh?"

I let out an uncharacteristically stupid voice as I watched the two of them enter the same room.

I couldn't move a step from around the telephone pole, and my legs were numb and immobilized.

"............"

After a while, I went to check the mailbox in the apartment.

I saw an inscription marked "203 Hoshimiya."

"I knew it ...... they live together............."

I thinly thought that they didn't.

Because every morning, I as walking on the same street to school with Riku-chan, but I never saw her ....... besides, after school, the two of us would also go out of class together.

I wanted to confirm this too, so I followed them.

"But ...... happened to be on this day............"

Maybe it's just today that Riku-chan stopped by Ayana-chan's house.

Believing in such a quick and selfish possibility, I continued to wait for Riku-chan to come out until the sun set. I didn't move from the pillar and continued to stare at Ayana-chan's room.

Several hours passed, and I noticed that the area was filled with darkness.

I checked the time on my phone and saw that it was 9:00 pm.

But still, I didn't go home and kept waiting for Ayana-chan's room door to open.

But there was no sign of the door opening.

I received a call on my cell phone from my mother, who was worried about me.

"Hey, Riku-chan ...... are you staying with Ayana-chan?"

I asked Riku-chan, the one who was supposed to be in Ayana-chan's room.

"It's already late and you two are just alone......? What are you two doing right now? Just because you're dating, you shouldn't be ...... doing that."

You said you like me, and I also said that I like you.

The next second, my vision blurred.

Something hot concentrated in my eyes, and spilled onto my cheeks.

My tears overflowed────

"Huh? Why... are there tears?"

I wiped away the tears with my hand.

Wipe after wipe, one after another, tears overflowed.

Like a dam breaking, once the tears started flowing, they wouldn't stop.

"............!"

The presence that had been by my side became a blur.

A sense of loss.....

A presence that always stayed by my side and recognized me as normal.

Such a presence has gone far────

"Ah ...... no ...... no!"

I finally realized what I had lost.

It was natural for Riku-chan to be by my side.

I never had any doubts about that.

I thought that since we were childhood friends, then we'd always be together....

I subconsciously assumed that, so I never thought about it.

We're together because we've known each other since childhood. But that's not the case.

"I, myself, want to be with Riku-chan."

Seeing Riku-chan hanging out with Ayana-chan, I finally realized.

It's only me... who wants to be a special person to her.

"I ...... love Riku-chan. ......"

I had taken it for granted, because I had someone special by my side.

No, I already knew that as my common sense. Because Riku-chan is like that.

Riku-chan lost her family suddenly.

That's why I'm always worried about her, my childhood friend, the equivalent of my family.

From Riku-chan I knew that one day, someone important to me, could suddenly disappear too.

"A-As I've misunderstood...........?"

It didn't matter if we were childhood friends or not.

When the person who is important to you has left, you finally realize how you yourself feel.

No wonder I feel frustrated......

The person I love is friends with a girl who isn't me.......!

"It's ...... too late ....... even if I realize it now ...... everything is too late......!"

I was drowning in regret. But even I could see that feeling turning into anger little by little.

"Isn't ...... that funny, Riku-chan? You confessed to Ayana-chan right after you said that you liked me....it was too soon, you know? You should have waited...a little longer! And I would have ...... noticed!"

I remember Riku-chan from the past few days. He used to look at me a lot....

"I wonder if you still ...... like me?"

If Riku-chan still cares about me, that means....

I looked up and stared at Ayana-chan's room.

"Is it still not too late?"