Volume 1 - CH 5.1

Chapter 5 - Determination (Part 1)

I don't remember how I got home after that.

The next thing I knew, I was lying on a bed in my own house.

"......It's morning, huh?"

I could see the clear blue sky through the gap in the curtain.

I looked at the clock on the nightstand and saw that it was already 9:00 a.m.

"I overslept ...... I guess I should take the day off first."

I got out of bed and picked up my hand phone from the table. There was a message from Yono. It said, [Did you take the day off from school today? Ayana-chan didn't come in either.]

Looks like ...... Hoshimiya didn't go either. I don't know if it's natural or not. But from the looks of it, it looks like she's going to be gone for a while.

"............"

Hoshimiya's parents are round. But why are they round?

Because they killed my family. .....

No, they didn't. "Killed" is not the right word.

It was an accident.

Even though I knew that, I couldn't get my thoughts straight.

It's not that I have a grudge against Hoshimiya, it's just that... .......

"Screwed up bat, crazy!"

Why is it like this?!

The stalker problem has been solved and I can finally date Hoshimiya ....... why is this the ending?!

I remember it clearly now. When the accident happened.

Dad and Hoshimiya's mom got out of the car, and Hoshimiya had black hair at that time.......

The feeling of nothingness was gone. I felt empty, as if my heart had been crushed.

This is the feeling of emptiness in my body. A feeling I haven't felt for a long time....

"Life is so painful.

I lay back down on the bed and closed my eyes. I didn't want to think about anything.

As if rejecting the current reality, I dropped my consciousness into a dream.

My mind and body were already at their limits.

***

"......Dururu."

When I woke up, it was around noon. Even in this situation, I was hungry. I wanted to eat something.

"Something, hmm."

I got out of bed, walked out of the bedroom, and went to the kitchen where the refrigerator was.

"...... Well, everything is empty again."

The refrigerator was empty. For some reason, there were only stale radishes in it.

"......Really."

I became apathetic about everything. I went back to my bedroom and fell on the bed again.

Staring at the ceiling in a daze, I suddenly remembered Hoshimiya's innocent smiling face.

"...... Damn it! What kind of twist is this?!"

Tears welled up in my eyes. Tears that I hadn't shed in a long time, so hot that my cheeks felt like they were going to burn.

"............"

Always ...... always and forever. Even when everything seems to be going well, something is bound to happen.

Fate didn't let me walk the path of happiness unhindered.

"That's the way life is."

When Yono left me, I still had the energy to despair.

But now I don't even have the energy to go around .......

"I wonder how Hoshimiya is doing now... ...."

She cried so much, I'm sure she's still having a hard time....

Ding dong.

The intercom rang. But I don't care.

I closed my eyes and fell back asleep.

Ding dong.

"............"

I have a hunch. It must be Yono, here.

But it's still noon, which means he's still at school....

"Not leaving yet, are you?"

I felt tired all over, but I lazily got up and went to the front door.

When I slowly opened the door──

"Ah, Riku-chan! You have an amazing sleeping schedule. ...... Good morning, perhaps?"

"......Yono?"

"Yes, it's me! I'm here to play with my precious childhood friend!"

There she was, the same as always, with a smile as bright as the sun.

***

"Yono, isn't it time for school?"

"I'm skipping school. This is my first time skipping school..."

The cheerful Yono said it in a very charming way.

Normally, I would be in pain because she was so cute, but at the moment, I couldn't think of anything wrong with it.

"......Why?"

"It's obvious, right?!"

She laughed, "You really don't understand, do you?" Yono looked at me as if to say.

"Because I want to see my precious childhood friend ...... who I love."

Yono said with a gentle smile.

I'm sure Yono doesn't know what happened between me and Hoshimiya.

But she knew that something had happened because I took an unexcused leave from school. So this is what it means to be a childhood friend.......

"If you're curious, I already called you to say I was on my way, but it didn't pick up...."

"......Sorry. I didn't see it at all."

"It's okay, there's no need to apologize. I came here on my own without thinking about it anyway."

That's not true. She came because she was worried about me.

Yono, who has a serious personality, would never skip school just for his own reasons.

"......?"

Suddenly, I saw the supermarket bag in his hand. It was filled with what looked like various food items.

Perhaps because she noticed my gaze, Yono lifted the bag slightly.

"Oh, this? You didn't eat anything because you're Riku-chan, right? Now I'm going to test my skills and cook for you!"

She shouted, showing her motivation. It seemed like she could see everything through me... ....

***

Unfortunately, my cookware had never been used and was covered in dust. There's no way she's going to be able to cook in it.

"Oh no, I knew it would be like this. You're a boy who can't live independently, aren't you?"

"Of course I can. I've lived so far without dying."

"That's because I take you out to eat regularly. And until recently, you were taken care of by Ayana-chan, right?"

"............"

"......I understand."

What is there to understand? Yono, who seemed to have seen something through my silence, turned serious for a moment, but soon smiled again.

"Then just wait in your room, Riku-chan."

"Okay."

As instructed, I went to the dining room and sat down on a chair. Without thinking, I looked at Yono, who was wearing an apron over his uniform.

I'm not interested in housework, so I don't know what she does, but she seems to prepare food skillfully.

But how can I put it... this was my dream in the past.

I dreamed of having a family with Yono.

If it came true, what would it be like, Dad?

***

"Thank you for the food."

"Thank you for the food."

What Yono made for me was oyakodon. The egg was soft and the chicken was tender, sweet and sour. The crunchy onions were also a nice touch. Eating good food enriches your life.

I felt sluggish, but I started to feel a little more positive.

I looked up and noticed that Yono, who was sitting across from me, was smiling happily.

"You look pretty happy..."

"Yes, I am indeed happy. Very happy. It's worth it."

"......Yono's cooking is always delicious ...... so......."

"I understand. Thank you, Riku-chan."

A casual conversation. A conversation that calmed my heart.

But I can say that it's also true that there are things that can't be avoided.

"Hey, Yono."

"Yes, Riku-chan."

"Do you know about Hoshimiya?"

"────"

Yono, who had been looking at me with a gentle expression, immediately became tense.

"Tell me. Does Yono know about Hoshimiya?"

"Riku-chan, do you remember ......'s accident?"

From the way she said it, it seemed like Yono knew about my memory situation.

"Oh. The perpetrators of the accident back then were Hoshimiya's parents."

"──Huh?! It's really Ayana-chan's parents?"

Shock spread over Yono's face. Her face was dark and she didn't know how to accept it.

"You don't know?"

"I thought maybe. I can't even remember her name, but they have the same surname....That's why I tried to keep Riku-chan away from Ayana-chan as much as possible at first."

"I don't think so..."

"But you know, when I saw how Ayana-chan treated Riku-chan normally, I decided that she was the other Hoshimiya-san."

"I see. I understand what you just said."

When Hoshimiya and I first became involved, Yono complained to me without revealing the reason, saying, "Ayana-chan is the only one not allowed! However, by the middle of the relationship, she accepted that me and Hoshimiya had become intertwined.

"......But Hoshimiya doesn't remember the accident."

"......Eh?"

"......To be precise, Hoshimiya's parents have gone around."

"Uh, ah ...... Wait a minute, Riku-chan. I wonder what happened to Ayana-chan."

I told Yono, who was confused, everything that happened last night.

When she heard the end, Yono's mouth trembled and she couldn't say anything.

"Well, that's that. What an amazing coincidence, isn't it?"

"Riku-chan..."

"I don't even know what that means anymore."

Yono closed his mouth without saying anything.

She probably didn't know what to say.

In the middle of this painful silence, I said something lightly, as if I had a topic.

"Yono... I like you. I want you to go out with me."

[TL: (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻]

"......Eh?"

Yono looked surprised by my sudden confession and her eyes fluttered.

"I want to date Yono. I want us to become a family."

"Uh, uh, that's ......."

"I want you to stay here with me. I want you to stay by my side forever."

"Oh, calm down, Riku-chan. You're so suddenly..."

I got up from the chair and approached the confused Yono, grabbing both of his shoulders and telling her my feelings.

"I've always loved you. It may seem strange, but I've always thought of Yono and followed you with my eyes."

"Um, well..."

"When you told me that you only saw me as a childhood friend, it was very difficult. I only have Yono, and if Yono rejects me, then ...... this world will have no value anymore."

"But now ...... Ayana-chan is ...... the only one who can help you."

"Hoshimiya is the source of all my pain!"

"Riku-chan..."

A hot object rose from the bottom of my stomach to my throat.

Tears flowed helplessly from my eyes.

"Oh yeah ...... Yono's right, I love Hoshimiya! But you know, Hoshimiya's existence torments me! When I think of Hoshimiya, I remember the time when ...... my family was hit by a car, or ...... Hoshimiya's parents!"

"Riku-chan ....... but you're worried about Ayana-chan, right?"

"I'm worried, of course I'm worried. I like her a lot. ....... But still, it's not good for me... ......! Hoshimiya is the beginning of everything ...., so ......!"

I expressed everything in a voice mixed with sobs.

"Yono ...... date me! After all, Yono is the only one for me ...... and I don't want to see anyone else but Yono.....!"

"............"

The hands gripping both of Yono's shoulders naturally became stronger.

Still, Yono showed no signs of pain and looked into my eyes.

"You... like me too, right, Yono?"

"Riku-chan..."

"I want you to stay by my side forever. I can do anything for Yono, and ...... we'll get married in the end, ...... okay?"

Yono will accept anything from me.

It's been like that in the past.

She said she loved me and even came to my house when she was worried about me.

Yono and I will be together forever.

"............"

"Yono?"

Why didn't Yono say anything?

Why didn't he answer?

Why is she unhappy, why does she have a dark and worried look on her face?!

Is she going to leave me again?

Just like that time, I will be rejected by her.

The confession that I thought would definitely work, but instead was rejected.

This time, I will definitely be rejected as well...

"Riku-chan!"

Amidst the tension in his heart, Yono's demeanor changed drastically - she opened his mouth with a smile as bright as the sun.

"Okay, let's go on a date!"

"Yono...."

"I want you to be happy, Riku-chan. But you know, if I see Riku-chan talking to a girl other than me, I ...... definitely get cranky, is that okay?"

"Of course, of course it's okay! I won't talk to any other girls than Yono at all."

"............ I understand. In that case, I'm sure it'll be fine."

For a moment, she looked like she was going to say something, but Yono smiled brightly and said, "Ahaha."

"Yono, I want you to stay with me forever."

"Alright. If that's what Riku-chan wants, then... ....... I'll stay by your side, Riku-chan."

Yono smiled affectionately and stroked my cheek gently.

Finally. My wish has finally come true.

A lot has happened in the last month.

But my wish that I've had since I was a child has come true.

As before, I will continue to walk the world alone with Yono...