Volume 1 - CH 5.4

Chapter 5 - Determination (Part 4)

After Kana left, I went home and lay on the sofa staring at the ceiling, doing nothing. When Yono came home, I was still staring at the ceiling.

"Riku-chan. What's wrong?"

"............"

"Riku-chan! Eiii!"

"Buhoho!"

Yono jumped on my chest.... A squeak from the sofa was faintly heard from the impact.

"Hey, hey~ You have a cute childhood friend. Why do you keep looking at the ceiling?"

Yono, who spoke in a strangely sticky manner, lay down on my body and asked me about it.

This is ...... terrible close contact. Yono's face was in full view, and her body was pressed against me with her weight.

"Yono. As a man, I'm happy for you, but I don't want you to do this because it will destroy my common sense."

"Hmm? Why? I think it's okay if it explodes."

Yono gave me a mischievous smile that I had seen several times before.

"Yono..."

"Riku-chan. Are you worried and having a hard time again?"

"Yes. ......."

"That's not good. I, I always want you to be happy, Riku-chan. I'll do ...... whatever I can to help you."

Yono's eyes were full of determination.

I felt that he really would do whatever I asked her to do.

"Let me guess, what's bothering you, Riku-chan?"

"Yes."

"About Ayana-chan, right?"

"......Yes."

I knew that she could see everything. I'm no match for my childhood friend.

Slowly, Yono sat down on the sofa.

I followed her and sat down on the sofa as well.

"I suddenly thought of ...... Hoshimiya."

"You... thought about Ayana-chan?"

"I'm worried about her. Hoshimiya is still having a hard time."

"Riku-chan is the one who has the hardest time."

"............"

I'm not denying or justifying. But I'm sure Hoshimiya is as unhappy as I am.

No, I'm sure it's even worse than mine.

I still had a good childhood friend named Yono who supported me all my life.

But I wonder if Hoshimiya has someone who can get that close to her?

Even if she has a friend named Kana, the fact that Hoshimiya hasn't told Kana about what happened in the past means that there's such a huge psychological distance between them.

Coupled with Hoshimiya's own personality.

Hoshimiya felt ...... very guilty.

According to Kana, even in the dream world, Hoshimiya kept apologizing to me.

His parents killed someone in an accident, but his parents also killed suicide, but she's always stuck in ...... guilt.

I don't know if there is another life that is more painful than his?

"...... I know what I have to do.

Just one sentence: "I don't hate Hoshimiya. I just have to tell her that.

That alone is enough to save Hoshimiya's heart.

Of course, in reality, I couldn't get the accident out of my mind. But I understand that it was just an accident.

The culprit is no longer in this world.

It's true that when I remember Hoshimiya, I remember painful memories.

That's why I think that Hoshimiya must have suffered more than me.

"Riku-chan still loves Ayana-chan, right? What are you going to do with Ayana-chan? What do you want to do in the future?"

A calm question from Yono, and the answer has already been given.

"I want to stay with Hoshimiya and ........ I want to protect Hoshimiya."

"............"

Yono stopped speaking and there was silence. It was then that I finally understood what I was saying.

"I'm sorry, Yono! No, no, no! I like Yono, that's why I'm ......!"

What I said before was like denying Yono when I was with her.

However, Yono smiled softly.

"Haha, I feel like I can finally hear how Riku-chan really feels."

"I'm sorry. But...I'm probably the only person who can really understand and support Hoshimiya. I'm the only one."

"Then, Riku-chan, you should go to Ayana-chan."

"............ No."

"What?"

"I know, but I'm ...... afraid. I'm afraid something might happen again. Something I can't predict. ......."

"Riku-chan....."

"I don't want to feel pain. I don't want my heart to be troubled. I want to live ...... peacefully."

Yono continued to silently listen to my words as I spat them out.

"I can't be without Yono. I want to be near Yono. I don't want to be away from Yono. I can't live without Yono."

"You're lying, Riku-chan."

"It's not a lie..."

"What about you and Ayana-chan?"

"Ah..."

I had relied on Yono since childhood, but when I was with Hoshimiya, I felt like I could be my normal self.

Even though I still thought of Yono sometimes, I didn't hold on to her like I did now.

"I'm sure Riku-chan can act ...... naturally when he's with Ayana-chan."

"............"

I had no answer for Yono who smiled at me.

When I was silent, Yono suddenly hugged me.

It was strong, she hugged me ...... tightly, as if our bodies were one.

"I love you, Riku-chan. I love you so much. I feel irritated just because you talked to a girl other than me, and I don't even want to imagine Riku-chan going out with a girl other than me."

"Yono....."

"But still, Riku-chan's happiness is the most important thing to me. ......Riku-chan should follow her own wishes and go to ....... Ayana-chan."

Yono lifted his head and looked at my face. She smiled softly, but she was crying.

There were many streaks of light on Yono's cheeks.

Then she continued speaking with a slightly trembling voice, as if she was holding back sobs.

"Riku-chan was captured by me."

"That's not true... I love Yono, therefore..."

"Yes, thank you. I'm very happy. I like you too, Riku-chan ....... That's why I want you to see the wider world.

"The wider world. ......"

"Riku-chan. I want you to fly away from the birdcage that is me. I'm sure you'll be fine."

"Yono..."

Tears welled up in Yono's eyes as she spoke. That meant she was saying goodbye to me, and she understood that more than anything else.

"If you're tired of not being able to reach where you're going... you can come back to me, to the place of your childhood friend."

"............!"

"Riku-chan is right, the only person who can be there for Ayana-chan in this world is Riku-chan.

"Yono......Yono......!"

It was obvious that my childhood friend Yono cared a lot about me.

Moreover, Yono was so aware of it that he had a strong desire to monopolize and be jealous of me...

Even so, I was preoccupied with my own happiness.

It was so painful that I couldn't stop crying...!

"Riku-chan. Don't worry about me. Fly in the sky with dignity and freedom."

"Free......."

"I'm sure that's why they called you 'Riku'."

"Riku-......"

I never thought about the meaning of my name. I never asked my parents.

Ah, but still. I wonder what my parents would think if they saw me now.

I'm sure my younger brother would stick out him tongue and make fun of me.

"Riku-chan will be fine... You can live without me again. Because you finally found what you want to do on your own, Riku-chan."

"Yes ...... yes ......!"

"Haha, you'll ruin ...... your cool face if you cry a lot."

Without realizing it, I was crying.

I had thought in the corner of my mind that my cheeks were burning, but ...... I didn't notice.

"Yono cries ...... too."

"I'm fine. When your heart is broken, you cry, right?"

"......Yes, I guess."

"That's right. Haha."

Yono, with a swollen and haggard face, still managed to put a bright smile on his face.

***

The conversation ended and the atmosphere relaxed. The atmosphere was quiet again.

Yono and I sat side by side on the sofa, absorbing the atmosphere without saying a word.

"...... Yes, yes. I actually don't think I can win against Ayana-chan."

"Eh?"

"Wait a minute, okay?"

After saying that, Yono went to his room and returned with a book in his right hand.

It was the P*rn book that Mondo-san gave me! Why?! I had hidden it under my bed!

"Uh, uh, it's ....... Yono-sama?"

"......It's a very naughty book!"

Yono said with narrowed eyes as she stared at the book cover.

By the way, the book cover showed a girl who looked exactly like Hoshimiya.

"That girl looks like Ayana-chan, doesn't she?"

"Yes, that's right. ........"

"Riku-chan, you really are a happy child!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Riku-chan, sit down on the floor."

"Uh, why...?"

"It's too early for you to do that, Riku-chan! So I'm going to give you ...... a sermon!"

After saying that, Yono smiled sweetly.