CH 28

November 9th, 2022

Beta reader: My_Own_Worst_NPC

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Excited, I jumped into the carriage and hurried to the shore.

As I landed on the beach and looked far away, I could see a small shadow of a ship on the horizon, just as I had expected.

It looked like the imperial survey team was finally arriving. At this rate, they would land in less than two hours, so I hurried back to the cave and told the Iwaos to prepare a bath.

First impressions are important, right?

Before all else, I want to give them the sensation of cleanliness.

As I was washing my hair with shampoo, a slime came close to me like usual. Somehow, it seems even the slime was getting excited, its movement even more vibrant than usual.

“’I’m going to wash myself very carefully today; you can eat plenty of my grime too.”

*wobble wobble wobble*

Maybe it’s because the slimes were well nourished, but it had just split again the other day and the number of slimes in the bathtub has increased to four. They were already getting so used to me that they didn’t spray me with their digestive juices, and since they also preyed on mosquitoes, flies, and other pests, they’d become cute pets for me.

Furthermore, careful observation had revealed that there were two types of slime: those that preferred light and those that disliked it. The light-loving type lived in bathrooms, while the light-hating type lives in toilet storage tanks and acted as a septic tank.

I tried checking the tank in the women’s restroom the other day and found that it was completely clean, even though it has been used by Leanne. The slime must have cleaned up everything.

Truly a beneficial monster.

I carefully washed my important parts, combed my hair, and put on some deodorant I’d made with Creation Magic. It had a nice citrus smell, which I liked because it wasn’t overpowering.

After that, I cleanly shaved and changed into freshly laundered clothes. I was hesitant on whether to put on the underwear that Leanne has left me but finally decided against it. I would feel uncomfortable if I wore those.

I checked my whole body in the mirror.

For some reason, I had been popular since I came to this world, but on Earth, I was what you would call a Futsumen [1] . Even the first female soldier that I encountered only rated my face as 78, which meant that even in this world, I wasn’t what one might consider handsome.

However, it seemed that I had a strange sex appeal to the women here. What part of me was appealing to them was still a mystery, though. No matter how much I looked in the mirror, I couldn’t find anything of interest.

After I finished dressing myself, I got back on the carriage and headed for the coast.

Boats were being unloaded one after another from the huge ships anchored offshore, and they were coming toward me. Though I’ve had Iwao build a pier there, it seems there would not be enough space to accommodate all of them.

The people on the boats were definitely soldiers of the Empire, I still remember those uniforms.

Seeing  them made me recall the smell of the soldiers when I was being assaulted and almost made me retch.

Fortunately, I could smell the deodorant on my wrist, otherwise I might’ve really thrown up. Guess the incident was more traumatic than I had realized.

A slightly larger boat was heading straight for the pier. The people riding on this boat wore more luxurious uniforms compared to the other soldiers, so I guessed those people were officers. Maybe the commander, Lotte Gram, was also on board.

With this in mind, I went to the pier to meet them.

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“Welcome to Monte Chris Island. I am Shirou Sanada, proprietor and resident.”

A tall woman in simple but well-tailored clothes stepped off the pier. She was in her mid-thirties and looked very capable, the very definition of a cool beauty.

Could it be that she was Lotte Gram? But Leanne said the commander was in her early twenties.

“You did well in coming to see us here. I’m Vice-commander Dianne Lane, and this person here is the commander of the Survey Team; Lotte Gram-sama. Please mind your manners around her.”

A plump girl appeared from behind the tall vice commander. Her height was about 150 cm tall. I wouldn’t go so far as to say she was fat, but she was pretty chubby. Her face was round, but her nose was straight and cute. She also has that look of confidence in her eyes.

“Gram-sama, my name is Shirou Sanada. I’m pleased to meet you”

“Uh-huh…”

Commander Gram only nodded slightly and looked away. Her attitude… It didn’t feel like she was being arrogant toward a commoner, I think she was simply being shy.

Perhaps she’s not good in conversing with men? I mean, she didn’t look like the kind of person who would have problems communicating… Well, no matter. For me, who has a wide range of appreciation, she’s alright. Her plump body was attractive.

“I have already received reports from Lady Alyssa Milano [2] regarding the condition of the island. We’ll have the soldiers set up camp immediately, but Gram-sama is currently tired from the journey. Quickly make arrangement for her to rest at the inn.”

Vice-commander Lane swiftly gave orders on behalf of her silent superior.

“I understand. This way, please. We have made space for your soldiers on the way to the inn, so allow me to show you around…”

The Iwaos had cut down trees to make open spaces in the forest, and a cooking area & restrooms had been prepared near the river.  At first glance, it looked a bit like a campground.

I gave an explanation on the campsite to Commander Gram and Vice-commander Lane while we were riding in the carriage pulled by Silver.

The vice commander looked very satisfied when she saw the campsite. “I’d heard reports about the golems, but I never thought they’d be able to do this much. Looks like we’re going to have it a lot easier, right commander?”

“Uh-huh.”

Even though her second-in-command was talking cheerfully, Commander Gram only replied with a short ‘uh-huh’.

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We finally reached the cave, which was somewhat cooler compared to the outside. I offered them hand towels cooled with ice water to wipe their sweat.

“It must have been hot outside. Please use this to wipe your sweat.”

It seemed that the culture of hand towels did not exist in the Rurugoa Empire, since the group looked confused at first. But as they wiped their hands and faces, they gradually began to understand the benefits of hand towels.

“Woah, this feels quite nice.”

“The sweat was quickly wiped away.”

“Uh-huh…”

At the end, all of them had even put the hand towels on their necks.

You guys are just like Mr. Suzuki, the manager of general affairs department!　

That guy was a nice guy, but when we went to an Izakaya [3], he was the kind of guy who would wipe his whole body with a hand towel… which was the only real flaw he had.

“I’ll serve some drinks, would you prefer to have it hot or cold?”

Everyone opted to have cold drinks as their choice, so I’m going to prepare for them the iced café au lait that I’d been drinking earlier.

Lotte Gram seemed to like sweet things, guessing from her body shape. She was drinking the iced café au lait with plenty of the gum syrup that I had placed beside it.

“Would you like a refill?”

“Uh-huh… it’s delicious…”

She was only mumbling it, but I was glad to hear the word delicious. And she was smiling, if only a little. 

I’m sure that the best way to approach this young lady is to ‘feed’ her, though not so much that I would make her too fat. Need to be careful in keeping her healthy, right?

“By the way, I noticed the hand towels and the drinks were cooled off by using ice, how’s that even possible? I thought there wasn’t any woman living here?”, asked one of the officers.

“There is ice stored in the basement of this cave. The ice was made by a sailor who had visited the island before.”

I may have lied about some sailor making the ice for me, but I was telling the truth about the ice cellar. I had the Iwaos dig a hole underground from the side of the cave and made a cellar there. The temperature of the cellar was below 15 degree Celcius [4], so I’m using it as food storage. The ice was put in a special barrel with a two-layer structure and stored in the innermost part. Still, I would sometimes make new stock of ice using creation magic and store it in the barrel.

“Tell me if you run out of ice, I can make as much as you want,” said the officer amiably; she was a large woman and seemed very receptive. Also taller than me.

“Thank you very much. Can I ask this of you during your free time?”

“No problem, just say the word!”

The female officer seemed happy to be relied on. Well, this seems like a good beginning.

Among the soldiers who landed on the island, there were many types that I liked. I’ve had a lot of lonely days before now, but I think I’m going to have a lot of fun from now on.

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1 Basically means Average Joe, which is opposite of Ikemen (handsome and popular)

2 Originally, the vice-commander addressed Captain Milano with suffix -dono, so I’m guessing Lane held her in high regards, which is why I translated it as Lady Milano. Furthermore, Captain Milano is a Senior Officer (refer to Chapter 23), and Wyvern Knight is a higher caste compared to regular foot soldiers (conclusion taken from the manga).

3 Basically a sake bar. There’s a manga about it if you’re curious what an Izakaya is.

4  About 5o Fahrenheit