CH 9

Liu Yuru sat in the palanquin in a daze. She did not actually expect to see Ye Shi’an when she removed her veil. By her calculations, he ought to have just completed the provincial exams. It would have made sense for him to take a couple of days of rest before coming back.

His appearance at this moment flustered her.

Why is he back so early? 

Could it be…? Could it be…? 

A couple of inconceivable thoughts flashed through Liu Yuru’s mind. She quashed them immediately. She had always been calm and self-possessed. These thoughts were too dangerous to even contemplate. She took in a deep breath and resolutely pushed them out of her mind.

She lowered her eyes, put on her veil and sat there as she was borne to the Gu estate’s entrance, the strains of wedding music reverberating all around her.

Forcing herself to empty her mind, she accepted the red silk and mindlessly followed Gu Jiusi inside. The loud intonations of the officiant, the fiery crackle of firecrackers going off, and the congratulatory messages of various well wishers who had come for some red packet money bombarded her as she crossed the doorway leading to the Gu residence and entered the main hall.

She and Gu Jiusi paid their respects to Heaven and Earth as per custom. 

There was none of the bashfulness or nervousness that she’d imagined. The actual wedding turned out to be completely unlike the one she had been looking forward to. She felt calm and hollow. As far as she was concerned, these were mere formalities she had to complete. There was nothing more to think about. 

After the two of them performed the requisite nuptial rituals, she was helped to the nuptial chamber. There she waited alone with the veil dutifully covering her head, motionless.   

Yinhong was the only one left. The cacophonous commotion outside contrasted sharply against the withering silence inside. Yinhong fetched some snacks and said to Liu Yuru, “Miss, you’ve had nary a bite since dawn. How about some food?”  

“I’ll pass,” replied Liu Yuru. “The veil has to be lifted by my husband. It’d be bad luck if it fell by accident.” 

Yinhong stared at her for a moment, set down the plate of snacks and sighed.

Having grown up with Liu Yuru, she naturally knew what she had given up. Hearing that Liu Yuru had resigned herself to this marriage made her feel inexplicably sad. 

“When I was outside today…” Yinhong said hesitantly. “I saw Young Master Ye. You were in such a hurry. Do you think he—”

“Weigh your words before you speak,” Liu Yuru reminded her. 

Still, Yinhong’s words struck at her heart, stirring up ripples of emotion within her. Even Yinhong was affected, let alone her. 

But the rational side of her checked her, and she said calmly, “I’ve married into the Gu family and am now one of them. Whatever happened in the past died yesterday. Make no mention of them again. We’ll only invite unnecessary trouble if others hear of those.”

Knowing that Liu Yuru had a point, Yinhong said “yes” reluctantly and said no more. 

The wedding banquet lasted all the way into the night. Gu Jiusi showed no signs of returning to the bridal chamber. The sound of approaching footsteps issued from the distance. After a while, Liu Yuru heard the sound of the door opening, followed by Ye Yun’s voice speaking to someone: “Lady Gu sent me here to be with the bride. You’re all dismissed.”

Although Liu Yuru could not help but be surprised to hear Ye Yun’s voice, her face remained impassive. She heard the sound of retreating footsteps. Ye Yun stood by the door, hesitated for a moment, before taking a seat beside Liu Yuru. She sighed and said, “There’s no one else here now. I’ve come to accompany you. You can just take off your veil now and put it back on later.”  

“Rules are rules,” Liu Yuru replied politely. “We can just talk like this. It’s no bother.” 

“Oh, you—” Ye Yun said, exasperated. “Always going on about rules, rules, rules, when in reality your heart is wilder than anyone else’s. You’re gonna make life hard for yourself if you keep saying what you don’t mean.”

Hearing Ye Yun speak took her back in time, back to the days when she was still unmarried. Sadness welled up inside her. She found herself bursting to ask Ye Yun about Ye Shi’an. But knowing that it would be improper, what she said instead was, “What brought you here?”

“Lady Gu came looking for me while I was sipping my wine during the banquet,” Ye Yun explained. “She said you’ve been waiting in the room for a long time now and figured you’d gotten bored, so she sent me here to sit with you.” 

Liu Yuru felt warm and fuzzy. Jiang Rou’s a good mother-in-law and was kind to her. Liu Yuru was grateful for it. 

“That’s very thoughtful of Her Ladyship.” 

“Isn’t that right?” Ye Yun nibbled on some melon seeds and sighed. “I wonder what sort of fortune awaits you once you’ve married into the Gu family. While Granny’s mighty fond of you, I doubt she would’ve been quite as nice to you as Lady Gu has been. As for my mother…forget it, you’ll be lucky if she leaves you in peace. Then again, you’ve always been so abidingly proper. She’d be hard pressed to find fault with you.”

Ye Yun’s words were somewhat inappropriate, but knowing Ye Yun’s temperament, Liu Yuru let her say her piece.  “By the way,” she said casually. “My brother’s back. You know that, right?”

Liu Yuru started. She fell silent for a while. “Isn’t he supposed to be back later? Why is he back?” 

“News about your engagement with the Gus spread. He decided to return early.” 

Ye Yun paused before saying at length, ” Yuru, I hope you don’t blame my brother for this.”

Liu Yuru was at a loss for words. Ye Yun said slowly, “Before you came of age, Granny once sent a letter to him, asking for his thoughts on being engaged to you. He said he would go along with whatever the elders have planned. Later on, after the Gus proposed a match, Granny…decided to let it go. After all, the Gu family isn’t exactly the sort of family you’d wanna get on the wrong side of. Besides, you know how Granny is…”   

Ye Yun did not say it outright, but Liu Yuru understood.

The Ye family was an illustrious House and set great store by their reputation. Not only was the Gu family the first to have proposed a match, they would never have allowed their son to marry a girl who had once been engaged. Even if they were to raise a fuss against the Gu family, they would not do so for the ordinary and unremarkable Liu Yuru.

Liu Yuru knew that clearly, which was why she had not placed any hopes in the Ye family from the beginning. 

Ye Yun looked as if she was afraid Liu Yuru would bear a grudge against Ye Shi’an. She explained, “However, my brother objected. When he learnt about your engagement, he wrote a letter home saying that Gu Jiusi would not be a good husband for you. He said a gentleman makes good on his word: Since our family had an agreement with you, we should personally clarify things with the Gu family. He said Master Gu’s a reasonable man and would not twist our arm. That’s why he hurried back.”

“But he was too late,” Liu Yuru said calmly. 

Although she sounded perfectly emotionless, she knew that beneath her veil, her tears had already betrayed her.

She was suddenly very glad that she had not taken her veil off; it helped hide her wretched appearance from Ye Yun.

Though Ye Yun was unaware of Liu Yuru’s tears, she knew Liu Yuru had to be feeling down. She sighed and said comfortingly to Liu Yuru, “As it is, marrying Gu Jiusi may not be as bad as it seems. At least Gu Jiusi likes you. That’s a point in his favour over my brother. My brother seems great on the surface, but inwardly he’s pretty cold-hearted and dispassionate. He only has eyes for his career. It’ll be hard being his wife.”

“Gu Jiusi’s a good catch. He may be a wastrel, but his family is powerful and influential.  You’ll have no worries on the financial front even if you lead an extravagant lifestyle for the rest of your life. Most importantly, he likes you and pampers you. Look, he was even willing to buy out an entire store’s stock of rouges just to gift you a single box. You were the envy of everyone when word got out. Yuru,” Ye Yun held Liu Yuru’s hand and murmured, “Don’t hate my brother. Don’t be sad either. You’ll live a very good life, y’know?”

Liu Yuru said nothing. After a long silence, she steadied her voice and said softly, “Don’t worry. I understand the way of things.” 

“I’m glad to hear it.” 

Ye Yun let out a held breath and hurriedly said, “You couldn’t have known, but I haven’t had a good night’s rest for the past couple of days. I’ve been so worried over this, I could barely sleep a wink. It was mortifying, the thought that you might come to hate me and my brother. I feared you were doing poorly, that you would no longer wish to talk to me. We grew up together. I feel closer to you than any of my other girl friends. I hope you don’t estrange yourself from me over this.”  

“I won’t,” Liu Yuru sighed. “A-Yun,” She said softly, “I’m a little tired. Would you mind leaving me alone? I would like to have some rest.”

“Of course,” Ye Yun was quick to say. “Have a good rest. I’ll be on my way.” 

With Ye Yun’s departure, Liu Yuru became the only one left in the room. No longer able to hold back, she began to sob faintly. 

Perhaps it would not have stung as much if she never had a chance. But the person she wanted the most was this close to being with her. Not only that, it turned out that Young Master Ye wished to marry her too. How could she not feel bitter?

Inwardly, she was in turmoil. On one hand, she resented the Gu family for ruining half a lifetime’s worth of effort, resented Gu Jiusi’s childish and reckless behaviour; On the other, Jiang Rou’s kindness and Gu Jiusi’s occasional displays of consideration were not lost on her—she found herself unable to truly hate them. Not knowing who she could blame for her fate, all she could do was weep under her veil in silence.    

She cried for a long time. When she was finally done crying, there was still no one else in the room. Taking advantage of this, she got up, touched up her makeup, and sat back onto the bed and waited. When the sounds of chatter outside receded, she picked up some sort of clamour outside. Shortly after, the door was kicked open with a “bang!”; someone tumbled into the room; the door swung shut with a clang.

Thereupon Gu Jiusi’s angry voice rang out: “Let me out! Release me if you dare, Gu Langhua! I’ve married her as you wished, what more do you want? Stop forcing me! Must you drive me to an early grave before you’re satisfied?! 

“Shut up!” 

Gu Langhua’s furious voice boomed from outside: “Seal the windows shut. Break his legs if he dares take a single step out of his room!”

“Try me!” Gu Jiusi spat in Gu Langhua’s direction. “You’re a liar, old man! You said all I had to do was go through with the rites. What’s the deal with locking me here? You went back on your word! Let me out, or you’ll regret it!”

Gu Langhua no longer said anything to Gu Jiusi. He instructed the servants to seal the windows and door, gave orders for the guards to standby in the courtyard outside, and left. 

Gu Jiusi sat by the door and launched a salty tirade of abuse. Liu Yuru listened quietly as she sat with the veil over her head.

After some time, tired of scolding, he got up from the floor, found some water, and gulped down a mouthful. Only after he was done drinking did he see Liu Yuru sitting decorously on the bed. That scared the crap out of him. He took an alarmed step back before coming back to his senses. Still reeling from shock, he stammered, “W-why are you sitting there with your veil still on? You didn’t sleep?” 

“You weren’t back,” Liu Yuru replied respectfully and woodenly, refusing to let herself think about any unnecessary thoughts. “I dare not sleep when you’ve not lifted my veil.” 

“Can’t you do that yourself?” Gu Jiu groused, baffled. He crossed over and pulled off Liu Yuru’s bridal veil, nonetheless. Then he went back to the table while holding his cup. 

Liu Yuru’s expression was placid as she sat on the bed. Gu Jiusi glanced at her. She did not move an inch. His brows furrowed. “Why are you all frozen stiff when I’ve already removed the veil? Are you pretending to be a corpse? It’s the middle of the night, don’t go scaring people like that. You should wash up soon and go to bed.”

“We have yet to share the wedding toast, Husband.” 

Gu Jiusi was frightened out of his wits; his hands started twitching.

Eyes widened in alarm, he turned back to look at Liu Yuru as she sat on the bed. Liu Yuru showed no joy, no anger. She looked as lifeless as a stagnant pool of water. There was none of the liveliness of spirit that she’d shown when they first met.

He studied her quietly. After a long silence, he asked abruptly, “Did you wish to marry me? Truly?” 

Liu Yuru looked up at Gu Jiusi silently.

Gu Jiusi felt a little nervous as he fingered his cup. He stammered, “I’m aware of my…lack of standing among the ladies in Yangzhou. It is only natural; I have nothing going for me save for my face and my wealth. Not that I had plans to be looked upon favourably by the ladies to begin with, mind. I just want to marry a girl who would sincerely love me as I would her, someone with whom I could happily spend the rest of my life with.”

“And your point is?”

Liu Yuru wasn’t sure what he was driving at. She watched Gu Jiusi as he pondered, poured a cup of tea, and jogged over to her in a fawning sort of way. He sat on the chair in front of her and handed her a cup of tea.

Liu Yuru accepted his cup of tea wordlessly. With an obsequious look on his face, Gu Jiusi said ingratiatingly, “Miss Liu. I know that you’re a discerning and very clever girl.”

Liu Yuru looked up and met his gaze, waiting for him to elaborate.

Gu Jiusi smiled. “Which is why I’ve been meaning to hash things out with you. I know that what you like about me isn’t actually me. How about this? From now on, I’ll give you free rein to run the household as you see fit. You have my blessings to make your fortune with my family’s money. We’ll wait till you’ve made lots and lots of money and placed yourself comfortably. Then, when either one of us meets someone we really like, we’ll commence with the divorce proceedings. What do you think?”

Liu Yuru’s eyes grew wide as she stared at Gu Jiusi, horrified.

Immersed in his beautiful vision for the future, Gu Jiusi explained his plans earnestly, “I’ve thought about it. You women place such importance on your reputations so as to snag a good partner and marry into a good family, and marrying into a good family is for the sake of leading a good life. If you have the means to live a good life, you will no longer need to marry into a good family; what others say about you will no longer be of any concern to you, for they’ll no longer have any bearing on your life. Is that not the case?”

“For humans, a single lifetime consists of a couple of decades at most. We should treat ourselves well while we live, so as not to squander the time we have been given to experience this world. Miss Liu, say you become a rich merchant in the future and meet someone who loves you. If his love for you is true, he’ll naturally wish to marry you. To spend a lifetime with someone who loves you would be a lifetime well-lived. Even if romance isn’t in your cards, it’s okay to stay single too.”

As for me, I’ll also meet a girl whom I like. Of course, there’s no helping it if I don’t. Living it up by myself sounds like a pretty sweet life too. But say I do meet someone I really love, I would want to share a good life with her. I would not stand to see my beloved suffer any injustice. I’ve given it some thought. You and I will have to part ways sooner or later. I’m not so noble as to sacrifice my future for yours. I understand that this is hard for you to accept right now. But I really would recommend you giving what I’ve said some serious thought. We have plenty of time, so take your time to mull things over slowly. In time you’ll come to see the merits of my suggestion.” 

Liu Yuru’s entire being shook as she said nothing. 

Why oh why do I have to meet someone like him? Teeth chattering, her heart filled with fear, she gritted her teeth and asked, “Since…you do not like me, why did you marry me?” 

“I should be asking you that.” Gu Jiusi looked at her as if she’d said something absurd. “Why’d you marry me if you don’t like me?”

“Your acceptance of this match landed us in this quagmire. Had I refused to marry you, you would do away with yourself. But marrying you would mean burying my life. I can hardly be expected to sit on my hands while tragedy befalls me, can I? Let’s negotiate,” Gu Jiusi said, his face completely serious. “I’m sure you’ll come around to my proposition of divorce some day—”

Her patience wore out. Liu Yuru slapped Gu Jiusi across his face.

Gu Jiusi went into shock. Liu Yuru broke down into an explosive fit of tears.

“Go away! Get out of my sight!”