Chapter 47 - 47 - Doubt

My heart was pounding and beating like a drum. He was yelling at me. I tilted my chin up to meet his gaze.

"What are you talking about?" I asked in a firm voice. ​​

"Do you really think I wouldn't find out why you left?"

My eyes widened. He knew? How? I made sure he wouldn't find out about it. Did father tell him?

"You are stupid. You are a liar. You made me believe we're okay. You were already planning to run away from me for months. You didn't even try to tell me. You didn't even think about our child when you left. You're so selfish!"

It really hurts. I was used to him calling me stupid but it was always as a joke but this time it was true. He was mad at me.

"J-Jayden I-I"

"Shut up! I won't listen to any of your reasons! I wouldn't allow you to play with my feelings again!"

He turned around and walked away from me.

"Jayden please listen to me. I'm sorry. I got scared."

"Scared? Of what? I remember telling you how much I love you. Isn't that enough to at least trust me? You didn't even tell me you received a text from Ben. You hide everything from me. Why? Because you doubted me. You were afraid that if I found out the possibility that your real father was the reason for my mother's death, I would leave you. You said you loved me but you never trusted me. You doubted our love for each other."

"But what if it's true. What if he's the reason your mother was dead?" I asked.

"What do you want me to do? He's your father but you were never involved with what happened to my mother. Why did you choose to leave me instead of telling me about it?" He asked.

"Jayden believe me I did it for you. I don't want you to get hurt."

"No! You did it for yourself! I hate you! For 3 years, I hated you! I was searching for you because of Caden. That's all. You hurt me! It was more painful than finding out about your father." He said.

Tears started to fall from my eyes. It's painful when the man you love looks at you with disgust and disappointment. 

"What can I do for you to forgive me? I'll do everything."

I walked towards him and touched him on the shoulders but he avoided it.

"Don't. I won't believe you anymore. I trusted you but you broke it. You betrayed me. We'll still get married when we return home. For Caden's sake. But you will just serve me in bed, be Caden's mom, that's it. Nothing more, nothing less. Do not expect anything from me." He said before walking outside the balcony.

I ran to the bathroom and cried. I couldn't explain the pain in my heart. He was head over heels in love with me but not anymore. What have I done? I ruined us.

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Jayden POV

For 3 years I hated her. She left me without even knowing why. I thought we're okay. We're happy. I am happy. I was ready to forget about my mother's death. I was ready to move on but she ruined everything.

She didn't even know what happened to me after she left. I thought I'm going crazy. I was worried that something might happen to her and the baby. I searched everywhere for her. I lost myself for months when she left. I was thinking what did I do to make her leave me just like that. It's obvious she was hiding from me. I found every place she lived in but I was always too late. Every time I came, she already left and would vanish without a trace.

It was more painful when I found out the reason she left. It's because of her father and my mother. I came to see my grandfather and he told me that my mother was supposed to marry Matthew Forelli, but mom ran away with my father. I tried to find Matthew Forelli but he was also nowhere to be found. It is possible he was involved with mom's murder so Peggy decided to leave me instead of telling me about it.

For some reason, I understood how she felt that time but I couldn't understand why she didn't try to tell me. She said she loved me and I was always telling her how much I loved her, isn't that enough to trust me? I wouldn't get mad at her. It's true I was hurt when I found out but the reason was because she lied to me. She made me look stupid. I didn't even feel that she was planning to run away after Luke and Alora's wedding. I'm an idiot.

When I found out they were living here in Australia. I didn't waste time and flew here. I wanted to see her so I could tell her how I hated her. I wanted to hurt her so bad the way she hurt me. But when I saw her, I wanted to pull her into my arms, kiss her and make love to her. God! I missed her so much. Then, I saw our son. He looks like me. I felt happy and relieved. They're okay. He was lively and smart. He drew pictures of me. She took care of our son for 3 years without me. I admire her for that.

I realized that even though I hated her for leaving me, I am still in love with her. But I really couldn't trust her for now. I wanted to teach her a lesson. I wouldn't let her run away from me again. I know it was bad of me to use our son to threaten her so she would agree to marry me, but this is the only way to tie her to me. I know I hurt her when I told her she will just serve me in bed, but what does she want me to do? I was hurt. She betrayed me. I just couldn't tell her that I still love her after what she did to me.

I went outside because I don't like to see her crying. She said she will do everything so I could trust her again. But I am still doubting her. For now, we'll get married and see if I could really bring back my trust to her.