CH 19

Chapter 19: In the Light of Streetlights [Part 3]

February 14, 2022

Previously…

Yu and Toko finally caught Karen entering Kamokura Tetsuya’s apartment with him!

However, Toko said, “Just going in together is not cheating. However, Touko-senpai said, “Just entering the apartment together does not make it an affair, you have to spend more than a certain amount of time there.

As they watched the apartment together, Touko-senpai asked Yu how he started going out with Karen.

After Yu answered, she asked Touko-senpai why she started going out with Kamokura.

Since it was a rather ordinary reason, Yu said

I’m sure you’ll be able to understand why I’m not afraid to ask you about Kamokura’s affair.

"Do you really think I can put this behind me?"

In the shadows of the streetlights, Touko-senpai’s voice echoed quietly.

"Yes. I find it hard to believe that a girl like you was cheated on by her boyfriend."

When I responded, Touko-senpai looked out the window again.

"I said earlier that Tetsuya can always be the center of the circle. But the truth is that Tetsuya is a lonely person. He's always in the center of the group and has a lot of say, so it may not look that way. It was only when I was close to him that I understood. There's no one who can help Tetsuya when he's really in pain.""

To that point,Touko-senpai spoke plainly, as if she had stifled her emotions.

"So I wanted to be someone who could support Tetsuya in such times."

Her voice sounded even more full of sadness because her emotions had been suppressed.

…… Kamokura’s a big asshole! Why would you cheat on my girlfriend when she’s so nice and thinks so much of you! ……

I felt anger rise up in me, not jealousy, but a kind of sadness and frustration.

She then gave a small laugh.

It was a kind of self-mocking laugh.

"What's so funny?"

But she didn’t answer my question, but said something else.

"Karen-san is cute, isn't she? she's also very popular in the circle, isn't she?" "Isn't Touko-senpai a beauty too? You' re famous for being the most beautiful girl on campus."

If Karen is ‘one of the top three prettiest girls in the circle’, then Touko is ‘the most beautiful girl on campus’.

There is no comparison.

But when i said this.

"Beauty ...... beauty ...... beauty, huh? Yes, I've been told that since I was a child. "You're beautiful, aren't you, Touko-senpai?" "Didn't you get a lot of jealousy from the women around you?"

I guess I was a little jealous of that too. But you know, Isshiki-kun. if a beautiful girl and a pretty girl were competing for popularity among boys, who do you think would win?

I was puzzled when she asked me that.

A beautiful woman and a pretty girl.

I couldn’t make a clear distinction between them, but which one would win?

"I don't know.""Usually, the 'pretty girl' wins. Aren't boys looking for cuteness directed at them, rather than mere beauty in appearance?""Self-imposed cuteness?"

I couldn’t get a concrete image of the word, so I asked back.

"Yes. Whether someone is beautiful or not is ultimately up to their own subjective judgment. There is no one face that everyone likes. That's why the most average and flawless face is called "beautiful. On the other hand, "cute" appeals to the other person's heart. For boys, I think it makes them feel like they have to protect her. Isn't that right?

When I look at it that way, I can’t help but feel that way.

In a sense, “beauty” is a physical judgment, based on whether or not a person has a good external appearance.

On the other hand, “cute” can be said to be an emotional impression.

If you think something is cute, it will stir up your protective desire and you will want to make it yours.

Furthermore, Touko-senpai’s words continued.

"I've been told since junior high school that I'm beautiful. This 'but' part is important, isn't it?

As she said this, her face turned to look out the window before she knew it.

"I wonder if I'll continue to lose to 'cute girls' like this. I'm sure I won't become someone's 'object to protect' for the rest of my life. "Touko-senpai You're not losing ......."

…… You’re not losing!! ……

That’s what I wanted to say.

But before that, Touko-senpai turned around.

"I want to be pretty, too! But I have this personality! I can't change myself now! I can only act like this!"

Tears were pouring out of her eyes at once.

Touko-senpai sobbed, as if her usual mature attitude was a lie.

She covered her face with both hands and her whole body was shaking.

A sob escaped, which she tried to suppress but could not.

…… Touko-senpai wanted to believe in Kamokura Tetsuya. So until now.This is such a roundabout way of saying ……

…… Her self-esteem and pride are both rattled and shaken now. ……

…… Tonko-senpai has been holding back for a long time. She suppressed her own desire to cry, and encouraged me to ……

She was trying to act tough, but in fact she was probably hurting more than I was.

"Touko-senpai, ......"

I said quietly, as if I was talking to a scared child.

"I've always been helped by you, Touko-senpai. I've been spoiled by you. So ......"

I gently put my hands on her arms.

"Please indulge yourself with me at least today: ......"

I slowly but forcefully pulled her closer to me. At first she seemed to fight it slightly, but then she slowly buried her face in my chest.

She then grabbed my shirt and continued to cry.