Chapter 178 - Bizarre, it truly was bizarre!

|Innaya|

After venting out all my grievances, I sank against Eshan's chest. My head hurt by just thinking about my past. Some things were unavoidable. If I was thinking about my past, I could not choose to recall a certain memory. They would come to me as they wished. I truly had no control over what I could think.

Perhaps it was a good thing though. I now realized where the problem lies. Those sounds, visuals of my father indulging that woman, were somehow blocking my chain of thoughts.

That unknown-block I would have was related to that time. It was a subconscious reaction. We sometimes did things that we do not mean, either out of a habit or a fear.

"Are you feeling okay?" Eshan asked, rubbing my back. I nodded.

His touch felt quite soothing against my agitated nerves. Also, his fingers massaging my nape had already relieved my tensed figure. My body was slowly calming down. I could not be more grateful for his hold on me.

With things now settling, my attention returned to our original discussion. We went from getting intimate to the topic of intimacy. From that topic of intimacy, our focus shifted to my past. And, now again we were back to the start.

Bizarre, it truly was bizarre!

The warmth coming from Eshan's chest felt too good. I could not help but rub my head a few times against his chest. I felt something was off when I felt Eshan's fingers stopping abruptly.

Raising my head, I took a look at Eshan's face. I think it would have been better if I have not. Eshan's face was hardened, even his eyebrows were pulled together as if he was restraining. There were beads of perspiration on his forehead.

"What's wrong?" Perplexed, I asked him. My hand involuntarily went to wipe away his forehead. Eshan flinched as if burned. His unfocused eyes staring at a distance returned to peer down at me.

"I need to use the washroom. We'll talk later," he hurriedly said. I could see how hard it was for him to say things.

Was he not feeling well? Was he sick?

"Are you not feeling well?"

"Tesoro..." He gritted his teeth. Through the clenched teeth he grunted as he started getting up, gently moving me away. " I don't want to lose my control now."

He strode away for the washroom after throwing that sentence, catching me off guard.

Bewildered, I looked at the closed door of the bathroom to the place he had occupied.

What did he mean? I repeated his words in my mind, playing the same words in the endless loop.

Lose control?

What control? I did not get him. How could I not understand those simple words? They were weighing down heavily on me. I was covered, wasn't I? After he explained, I could understand his loss of control when I exited the bathroom. Why now? Wasn't I covered in the duvet?

My eyes then fell on the mirror. All of my questions were answered immediately. My eyes widened in mortification, and I was about to shriek. My body went rigid as the severity of the situation sank in.

Why was I so foolish? It was no wonder Eshan had that kind of expression. His impatience to get away from me was for nothing but for my carelessness.

I did not know where to put my face as I picked up the shirt, immediately wearing it. My face burned with embarrassment, and even I did not recognize myself with all the redness. I blushed from tips of my hair to the toes.

Just how stupid was I?

'Ah! Over, it was all over.'

I hid my face in my palms. I could not face him after this. I could not. Why I had to be so absentminded?

Remembering Eshan's face, I shivered. This was the first time I saw the raw desires in his eyes. This was the first time he had let the reins of his control lose.

'Ah!'

I punched the mattress in anger and mortification. Why I had to lose face before him in this way?

Why?

Just why?

I hastily got up from the bed, going to the wardrobe. Taking all the clothes, I left for the guest room. I would get dressed there. I could not take a chance of running n.a.k.e.d into Eshan again.

***

I glanced back. Finding no one in sight, I sighed for the nth time, patting my chest.

I had been doing this for the past hour. I kept watching for any signs of Eshan from time to time as I hid in the garden.

After what happened in the bedroom, my poor heart couldn't bear to face Eshan. So, I had gotten dressed once I gathered myself after sitting and punching the mattress for fifteen minutes. It was fortunate that my fists had no real power or I would have made a hole in it. Adding one more reason to pile of my embarrassment.

As I was outside, I could not see what was happening inside. I had placed a plate of snacks and coffee in the room before half an hour. At that Eshan was still in the bathroom, saving me the trouble of running into him.

I knew I could not hide from him for a lifetime. He was my husband. In normal conditions, the scene in the bedroom would not have been anymore natural. However, it was not a normal circ.u.mstance. Careless misfortune. It was a reckless mishap.

"Say, how do I face him?" I turned my gaze to Fortune, making sure that Eshan was not here yet.

I had Fortune by my side. Luckily, after touching him in the afternoon, I grew confident. I did not have problems by bringing him along or touching him from time to time.

Currently, he was with me, in my mission of hiding. We both were in the inner part of the garden where I'd first met Liza. The place was covered with large trees.

I had found a hiding spot from where I could keep an eye out for Eshan. The back door stayed visible from the spot. That provided me with a bit of coverage. I kept a lookout on the scantiest bit of noise that would announce his appearance.

***