|Eshan|
Ah! Life was unfair. It would dangle a radish before your eyes, but you would not be able to eat it. You would get enticed by it, but other than sighing over your destiny, you wouldn't be able to do anything.
Standing under the cold water, I tried suppressing my innate passion. The sort of temptation I had been through just now, was hardest to deal with. Who would have thought that the day would progress like this?
I wanted to return home to forget about the bad taste the afternoon in the office had left me with. I had wanted to hold her, to relieve my stress. I ended up with more stress after holding her.
'Argh!'
I almost punched the wall. At the last moment, I held back. My punch would not have any effect on the wall, but my knuckles would receive the backslash. If Innaya noticed it, which was bound to happen, then I would not have any explanation.
Sigh! I could not even act unruly. I had to be considerate of her emotions. Then again, there was different beauty in it. Getting accustomed to your partner wasn't what marriage meant?
In a way, it was a test of my self-control, which I think I barely passed. However, it allowed me to know her perspectives. I never considered the possibility of her having gaps in her memories. I thought she remembered it well, which caused her to be more affected.
Talking to her gave me vivid insight into her past. I could link her hesitant behavior when it came to the matter of intimacy to her past.
The bits and pieces of how much she could remember were weighing her down with their burden. I needed to find a way to help her overcome it.
I raised my head, with eyes closed to face the showerhead. Droplets of cold water mercilessly whipped my face, leaving the stinging sensation behind.
***
'Oh, Innaya! My dear wife, you think, you are too smart. Unfortunately, you aren't.' I chuckled, watching her trying to be on the guard.
She thought she could hideaway in the garden, but she forgot a very important thing. The floor to ceiling glass wall did not hide much. The view was exceptionally beautiful and clear from the second floor.
Sitting in the chair, I silently admired her while enjoying the coffee she had considerately left in the room. I knew she would realize the reason behind my sudden abrupt behavior. One glance at her body, and she must have found the answer.
She did ultimately. It was not rocket science, I only felt a little regretful for missing the chance of witnessing that shy look on her face. She must have blushed endlessly. What a picture it must have been to look at!
Though I regret missing it, I had to leave. There was no other option. If I had stayed for a moment longer, we would have ended up doing things both of us would not have liked. I did not want our first time to be the result of hormonal impulse. I would rather suffer some agony waiting for the right time when both of us were ready than making it a result of l.u.s.t. I was never the one to give in to impulses.
The sight of her n.a.k.e.d flesh still sent shivers down my spine. Even spending almost an hour in a cold shower was not enough to cool down the fire she had ignited.
For the first time, I felt what it meant to be s.e.x.u.a.lly frustrated. This was also good. At least my body was having a normal reaction. It was desiring my woman.
I wanted to give her time. I did not want her to feel awkward around me, though I knew it could not be avoided. She was ought to feel shy, awkward around me. I also had to avoid her for a while as my body was still very sensitive to the images of her skin.
That tiny black mole on a couple of inches down on her left collarbone was still roaming before my eyes. I was in dire need of a cold drink. I stopped drinking the hot beverage, placing the mug down.
I was again thinking in that forbidden territory. God! I averted my eyes from her figure clad in plain pink saree. The wind blew the end of her saree, my heart fluttered at that.
My treacherous eyes could not be blamed for their sneaky attempts. They betrayed me and went back to stole some secret glances as her.
I reckon she herself didn't know how beautiful she was. She didn't even need to make efforts for it, and that made it all the more special. My fingers itched by my side to remove those locks from the side of her face.
Watching her, trying to do her best to stay away from me, I decided to give her time. In the end, I knew whatever I talked about made her bashful. She was an inexperienced girl in the matters of intimacy, how could I expect her to take in everything so easily? I had to be more patient.
I had never planned to have the conversation this way. We would certainly have had it one day or another. Today, it just happened so suddenly that I did not have time to prepare myself. How could I have warned her? It was not practical.
However, my wife did not shy away from me as she listened to me. I had seen the thin layer of moisture in her eyes. For a moment, I thought to withdraw and stop talking. But, when in her eyes, I had noticed the eagerness to know more, I continued.
There was a wave of love emerging in my heart, looking at the woman through the glass. I was transported in the past as I found this particular situation similar to those times I had spent looking at Innaya from afar. At that time, I could observe her how much I wanted without any disturbance.
I never got bored for I could always learn one thing or another. Being a silent spectator for so long had made me familiar with her body language, feelings, and emotions.
I could read her like an open book. From looking at her now, I could tell with certainty that she was conflicted. Conflicted at what she should do. One part of her wanted to avoid me, and the other wanted to continue the discussion where we left.
Her shyness was prohibiting her desire of participating actively in decisions of our life.
I narrowed my eyes when they caught something which should not have been there. I sat straighter in my seat when I found Fortune in the garden. My all thoughts came to the standstill.
What was he doing out?
Before long I was getting out of the chair, rushing down the stairs. I almost ran out of the house to the back garden.
What if she had a panic attack because of Fortune. Though I knew, he wouldn't hurt her, but still.
Prevention was always better than the cure.
***