Volume 1 - CH 5.1

5th Period: Washmen

It’s the 2nd day since Yuka-tan transferred to this school. In other words it was the day after that awkward welcome party.

“It’s a busy daaaaay…”

While using the washing machine I crack my neck and massage my shoulders.

“I’ve been bombarded with questions since this morning. People have been asking me to tell them about the transfer student, but they don’t know my hardships, do they Young Master?”

After complaining to Young Master I turn my attention to the washing machine. This is the only washing machine in our dormitory, and it’s an old two-layer washing machine. So drying requires keeping an eye on it. If it’s in a bad mood, it will rumble violently and make loud noises, like Minori.

“Damn that woman… On a day like this she gives up on housework…”

Normally Minori would wash my laundry too, but for some reason she’s been in a really bad mood since yesterday’s welcome party. She took only my laundry out of the community basket and put them into a combustible garbage bag. That’s a bit too much.

“In busy times like these all the dorm students should work together! One person is not enough…”

“Who’s there?”

“I said not enou…”, as I was saying this I realized who was standing next to me. “Oh!.. Kinoshita…no, Yuka…Ri, Ringo…”

“…” Ringo-chan looks at me with an annoyed look for nearly mispronouncing her name. When I’m in the dormitory I take off my glasses, so her gaze pierces directly into my eyes.

I..if you keep staring at me like that… hehehe…!

“What’s going on? Are you going to use the washer too? If I’m in the way you can step on me like an insect right? You would step on it right?”

Even while I talk to her excitedly, Ringo remains silent. That’s when I realized she was holding a plastic bag full of cloths.

“Um… is that your laundry?”

“…”

“But you don’t know how to do it… is that what you are telling me?”

“…”

Her face turns slightly red. Wow she looks like an actual apple. (TN Note: Her name is Ringo which means apple in Japanese) That’s. So. Cute.”

“You know how right?”

“That kind of thing… it’s not. I don’t…”

“Huh? Then tell me how you do it?”

“C..cleaning is…”After being at a loss for words, Ringo mutters something as if she was hit with sudden inspiration. “…River.”

“Huh?”

“Laundry is done in a river.”

But you came here. Why are you here? It’d probably be rude to ask. She probably asked Minori where to do laundry, but didn’t ask how to do it. Minori probably couldn’t imagine that there are people who don’t know how to use a washing machine. Ringo is so stubborn that she came all the way here without asking I guess.

“I see, a river…”

“Yeah”

“I see I see. Like in the story of ‘Momotaro’, the old woman goes to the river to wash her cloths.”

“Yeah”

“So what do you do then?”

“The old woman found a big peach in the river and took it home and tore through it.”

“Wait a minute! ‘Momotaro’ isn’t a tragedy right? If you tear through it what will happen to the baby inside?”

“It was a stillborn”

“He wasn’t dead! If it was dead that’d be the end of the story!”

“Part 3 complete.”

“Part 3? What happened to parts 1 and 2?!”

What a magnificent story! It’s no longer ‘Momotaro’ but something else created with grand vision and calculation. How about a working title of ‘Momo’s  Bizzare Adventure’.

“Anyways, laundry is done in the river.”

“…yeah, I used to wash my cloths in the river.” I nod and thrust my freshly washed boxers at Ringo. “But not in the 21st Century!”

“Huh…?”

“I’m using the machine now.”, I say as I gesture to the washing machine.

Ringo tilts her head.

“What is that?”

“This is a washing machine.”

“Washing… machine…?”

“That’s right. Now machines like this do all the laundry instead of humans.”

“Huh?! R..really?!”

She was stunned. Hmm, she must really not know anything about laundry. I guess it’s because she’s devoted herself to the performing arts since she was little. She doesn’t seem to know anything about other household chores either.

OK! Then I’ll teach you from scratch. We now live in the same dorm! There is no need to be shy!

“Hey Ringo. Let’s use this washing machine from now on to do laundry!”

“But…”

“It’ll be ok. Because I’m with you, right?”

“…yeah. Thank you … Kosaku”

“I..it’s not really… anything to thank me for…” I’m happy to be called by my name, but it’s bad for my heart… My heart is pounding! “The basics of washing! Wash dark colored or patterned cloths separately!”

“Why?”

“Colors will fade and run onto other cloths. Also, black cloths and socks will create hair balls, so wash them in a net.”

“I see…”

“Do you understand? How about you sort your laundry now then?”

“Yeah.”

Ringo then divides her laundry in her bag according to my instructions. She does it while I’m watching.

“H..hey Ringo-chan. Are you sure you want me seeing your dirty laundry?”

“Why?”

“Well.. because I’m a man…”

“?” She had her head tilted. Hmmm? What does that mean?

Do I have no idea how to understand the other sex, or is it because I’m with an idol that I’m feeling shameful. Compared to publishing a photo shoot wearing bathing suits, maybe she’s fine with being seen doing her laundry…

Despite my anguish, Ringo continues sorting her cloths indifferent to it all. She asks me questions when she’s not sure how to sort a specific article.

“Hows about this?”

“It’s patterned. Set it aside.”

“Let’s put it in the net.”

“What about Young Master?”

“Yes, Young Master tries to crawl into the net if he gets the chance but don’t let him. If you wash him he will die.”

“And what about this?”

“Uhh, panties? Panties…EEHHH?!”

“What’s wrong?”

The white object that Ringo was showing me while tilting her head was unmistakable. Uncensored. Pan. Tees.

“About those…” GULP I swallow. “About those……. they are hand washed, right?”

“Scrub them?”

“That’s right… because panties are delicate. If you put them in the washing machine they’ll get tore up.”

“That would be a problem.”

“Yeah, right? That’s why it needs to be washed by scrubbing it directly by hand. That requires a lot of skill though. If you were going to do it… it might be a bit too difficult huh?”

“I see…” says Ringo reluctantly.

While desperately suppressing my worldly desires that are running through me like wild horses, “T..That’s why today… I’ll do the laundry for you!”

“…ok?”

“O..of course! Keep it a secret form everyone else though ok?” Because everyone would lose their shit if they found out.

“Then… go ahead.” Ringo says this and entrusts her panties to me.

Oh…Oooohhhh! Yuka Kusakabe’s panties are now in my hands…!!

“I..I’m …..going to go…”

“Where are you going?”

“Hot water removes dirt better. So you should wash your underwear while you’re in the bath.”

Taking a bath with Yuka-tan’s used panties is going to blow my mind!

“This is going to make my brain boil and die!”

“You’re going to heaven?!”

Just as I was about to leave the washroom I was punched in the face by Minori. Apparently she came to see how Ringo was doing, but… I’m always always just a little too slow…!

“W..whwhwhwh…what are you doing! S…stealing a girl’s panties is a crime!”

“I didn’t steal it, sorry! I was entrusted with it! Ringo-chan asked me to wash her panties! These are legal panties!” I claim innocence while holding up the pure white panties.

Minori snatches them away from me and says, “There’s no such thing as legal panties! A crime is established at the time you touch them! It’s perversion! You’re a sex offender! I’m going to castrate you for real!”

“That’s a false accusation! That’ defamation of my character! I’m calling a lawyer! Give me back the panties!”

“Why was that the only sentence that you said in bold, idiot! That is why it’s a crime!”

“It’s still not a crime!”

“That’s right!”, Ringo defends me with an unusually loud voice. “Ko..kosuke…didn’t do anything wrong. I asked him…”

“Shut up Kinoshita-san!”

“…”

“Eh? Kinoshita-san doesn’t know anything and was deceived by this pervert! When it comes to Kosaku a childhood friend knows him best. Kinoshita-san has only known you for 2 days, it’s totally different!”