Volume 1 - CH 5.2

“……..” (muuu), Ringo glared at Minori with a pouty face.

“……..”(Fuuuun), Minori glared by at Ringo.

W..what’s going on? I feel like the two of them are competing in a dimension that I can’t understand… Now’s not the time to worry about that though.

“It doesn’t matter, so hurry up and return the panties stupid Minori! The longer you touch it the more contaminated it will get with impurities and lose their value!”

“Pft. Let it become impure then!”

After instantly becoming inraged, Minori lowers her head with a bright red face and starts to talk. “D..does Ko-tan want girls panties that much…?”

“GIVE ME PANTIES!”

“S..shut up…”, Minori says. She thrusts her hand into the laundry basket she was carrying and takes out a curled black piece of cloth in it. “Well if you do… then take my panties instead!”

“DON’T GIVE ME THAT FILTH!”

I dunk the panties that Minori gave me into the trash can in the washroom. It’s a slam trunks!

“Hey!? What are you doing with my panties!? Those were expensive!”

“You’re a fool!”

“?!”

“The value of panties are not determined by their price! Even if you wear expensive panties, they aren’t valuable!”

“So what determines their value then?”

“Neither panties nor tofu should be colored…”

“…huh?”

“What panties are the best! It’s so obvious!”

If you are Japanese it’s white rice and white panties!!

“B..but! I thought boys like black and red, these kinds of naughty adult looks. I endured the embarrassment of going and buying them…”

“You’re a fool!”

“!?”

“It’s outrageous to take panty advice from a frivolous teen magazine article! Shame on you! Wearing those vulgar things!” I’ve always wanted to say this. “Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and think! If a high school girl, one who is my childhood friend, were wearing such adult panties… I’d just cringe!”

“Cringe…”

“That’s right! Even Minori wouldn’t like it if I wore a tight black banana hammock.”

“Uhhhhhhhhh, yeeeeaaah… I wouldn’t want that…”

“So hurry up and give me back those white panties.”

“A..and that’s another issue!”

“I mean, those are my panties… if you aren’t going to wash them, then return them.”

3 people’s thoughts are intricately entwined like a garter belt.

Then we heard, “I heard the whole story. Leave the rest to me.”

“Keiii!?”

A handsome boy with glasses and a dashing appearance shows up.

Kei, who had snatched the panties from Minori’s hands smoothly tells us, “I’m in charge of this match (TN: pronounced the same as panties in Japanese so it’s a pun), so I’ll keep hold of these. Let’s settle this at a more suitable place!”

**********

That’s why we went to the lingerie section of a nearby department store.

“…..There are panties of various colors and designs.”, Kei tells us in front of a pile of panties on a display. “Kosaku. Minori. Choose the best pair of panties from this display. The way you choose them will show us how much you understand about panties.”

“…I see. The person who understand panties more deeply are the ones who deserve to have Yuka… Ringo’s panties. Now this match, BEGINS!”

“ feel like I’ve read this in a manga somewhere… o well. Let’s go!”

Neither I nor Minori have any objections.

“Huh…? Why are you doing this…?”

Ringo still doesn’t seem to understand the situation. Fufufu, you really are naïve. But you know Kei, I’m already aware… The true horror of this match. On the other hand, Minori was fishing through a mountain of panties.

“How about this?”

She choose a pair of panties as soon as possible.

“Oh, that’s cute…”

“I know! I know! Kinoshita-san thinks so too!”

“…” (Musuuu)

Ringo mutters “Damn” and goes silent.

Minori spreads out the white panties she chose in front of his face. “How about these? They are simple, reasonably priced, and comfortable to wear… and if I pick white ones, maybe Ko-tan will be happy…”

“…whore.”

“Nyaaa!? K..Kinoshita-san, you said those ones were cute? Do you have any complaints about my choice?”

“Not really” (puiii)

“A..anyways! I choose this!”

So that’s it… do you still not realize? She still misses it completely.

“Minori… are you sure you want these panties?”

“Yea….maybe? Are they bad?”

“Huh? I don’t know.”

“What’s wrong with these Panties!? You should choose one of these panties too Kosaku.”

“I’m not choosing from these, never!”

“Eh?”

“ALL THE PANTIES IN THIS DISPLAY ARE UNUSED.”

“………huh?”

Minori has an expression that says “of course…”. Ringo has a “?” expression. This is why I can’t understand women creatures…

“You girls don’t know anything about panties… Why do you think men want women’s panties in the first place? Because they have been used! It’s something that comes into direct contact with a girl’s skin, and that’s why they have value! Unused panties are just cloth no matter how good the design is. It’s ridiculous to talk about panties without understanding that basic principal. Huehuehuehue”

“Eh? …pervert?”

I’m perverted.

“Kosaku, you’re right.”

“Kei? What are you…”

“Panties are strange things… Ordinarily, it’s only natural that something used by someone else would no longer be new and would be worth less. However the worth of panties jump many times if they been used! Therefore, the value of panties is not the panties themselves, but the value of the people who use them. To notice something like that… Kosaku might be a genius. That’s why he’s my rival!”

“Well I’ve been thinking this for a while but… Kei is also a pervert for the most part…”

Panties drive men crazy. What’s wrong with that?

“Fufufu. It looks like you’ve won this battle, haven’t you?”

“Ah, these panties belong to you Kosaku.”, says Kei as he gives me Ringo’s panties.

Yes! Ehehehe. Let’s smell them!

“Eyyyaa. S.. stop it!”

“I’m sorry, but that’s impossible.”

Ringo reluctantly tries to stop me, but they are my reward now. Dafufufu. However this is when Kei unleases unexpected words at me.

“Kosaku failed…”

“!?”

“Those panties are not Kinoshita’s… THEY ARE MINE!”

“…..what…..the….fuck…?”

To be more precise, those are the same type of panties that Kinoshita was wearing but were warmed up by me putting them between my armpits. This is the real deal!”

Th..then… What I was sniffing…. Was Kei’s armpit?

“How…dare…you… How dare you…” I squeeze my fake panties until my hand was bleeding and yell, “HOW DARE YOU! YOU TRICKED ME!!”

You waited till now!! You waited till now!! You waited and tricked me!!

“YOU TRICKED MEEEEEEEE! YOU TRICKED MEEEEE!”

The cry of my soul echoes in the department store as it was closing. It’s an extreme situation when a boy is crying while clenching panties in a lingerie department, the sales floor staff responded calmly. They just ignored me.

“Minori. I…”

Then with strength welling in the hand that holds the panties I say. “Defense please…”

“Defense?”

Leaving the defense to the startled Minori, I rush at Kei. I want to shove the panties in my hand in his face and make him smell it! However Kei is like Shinichi Izumi avoiding the attacks of his mother who had been taken over by a parasite. (TN Referring to the manga Parasyte)

“Calm down. Kosaku.” he speaks quietly, as if shedding tears after being betrayed. “Did you just say ‘It has value because someone has worn it’?”

“Yeah…”

“Well, just because something is used doesn’t necessarily mean it’s worth more. What I’m trying to say is that used and unused cannot be a decisive factor in determining the value of panties.”

“Y..yeah! What the heck are with panties!?”

“I think the true value of panties lie hidden.”

Hearing this left both Minari and I dumbfounded.

“Hidden… you say?”

“Kei, what do you mean?”

“Panties are originally ‘underwear’, not meant to be seen by others. You are supposed to wear it under your cloths. Then why is it that your heart flutters so much with things you can’t see? Don’t you peek under a skirt to see what you cannot see? We human beings are creatures that ‘imagine’, and we have an inquisitive mind that desperately pursues ‘that which cannot be seen’. It is because it is hidden that we pursue it and that creates the value. Panties are no longer panties the moment you see them!”

What glorious words…! We are completely blown away by the words that fully express the mystery that resides in panties. We just witnessed the birth of a historical quote.

“Panties are no longer panties the moment you see them.” – Kei Kamatori (1994)

Both Minori and I could not help but realize our immaturity from the brilliance of these words.

“I want it because I can’t see it… It’s just as Kei said…”

“Ohhh… I’m ashamed of myself for being so particular about the color and shape of my panties…”

Panties are underwear. We who had forgotten such obvious things are not qualified to talk about panties…

“I’m sorry Minori. Talking about your panties as if they were filth…”

“It’s ok. I’ll definitely buy white panties from now on…”

“You both seem to be fine now. In that case I’ll take care of Kinoshita’s panties.”, said Kei and then he put Ringo-chan’s panties in his pocket.

Eh? That’s cheating!

“You Idiot!”

Shit! I was just played by this guy.

“You still don’t understand Kosaku. You already have your own panties!”

“W..where?”

“IN YOUR HEART!”

Oh, is that right? How can I pursue panties that are invisible? That’s exactly because everyone has their own panties in their hearts… Oh man, is this another historical quote?

“Everyone has their own panties in their heart.” – Kei Kamatori (1994)

“OK then! It’s time for the Yazaki Spring Panties Festival!” (TN Note: this is instead of the Yazaki Spring Music Festival)

As I said this while wearing my invisible panties, Kei joins me.

“Yeahhh… we need a flashy one.”

“I’ll cook some red beans! Me and Kinoshita-san can cheer together!”

“Are you a fucking idiot!?” Ringo-chan says this and grabs her panties from Kei’s hand then leaves quickly by herself.

Uggghhhh…

Can’t argue with that.