Volume 1 - CH 8.1

8th Period: Monkey and Student

Unexpectedly the fields were destroyed.

“Uwaaah…”

“That is…”

That morning, when we came out to the field for on-duty practice we saw crops that had been tragically destroyed.

“This is terrible…”, “Who the hell did this…?”, “Did anyone report this to the police?”, “I had a feeling that this would happen some day.”, “This field doesn’t have any fences or anything…”.

Students from other departments who heard the commotion were gathering in the field.

Kei looked around at everyone and asked, “Are there any witnesses?”

“I SAW IT!”

Yoshida-san (who has massive breasts) spoke seriously.

“Yes… it was definitely a child. They were wearing something like a gray coat and running with vegetables.”

It seems that Yoshida-san stayed at school until late at night to take care of cows yesterday.

“When I was about to go home the chickens started making a fuss in the free-range chicken coop, so I went to check it out. When I got there a child ran away in a hurry… this is the crop they dropped at that time.”

“Hmmm… apparently it’s true.”

Kei confirmed the cucumber that was handed to him by Yoshida-san and nodded.

Yoshida-san’s expression and breasts stiffen with anger as she says, “What are you going to do? It’s just a child… no it’s because it’s a child that we need to find and school them severely.”

“You know…”

“What is it Minori Nakazawa!? I’m talking to Kei Kamatori right now, so stop interrupting me!”

“Isn’t that a monkey?”

“…….monkey?”

“Hey Kosaku. You think it looks like a monkey too right?”

“Yeah, doesn’t it…?

I nodded. Yeah, a monkey.

Yoshida-san made a face like she smelled something gross.

“…but he was walking on 2 legs.”

“Even wild monkeys can walk on two legs for a short time. I know it’s hard to believe but…”

“They run with watermelons or other things in their arms don’t they?”

The place where Minori and I grew up was a farming village surrounded by mountains. Many animals would appear in our village, but the ones that left a particularly bad impression were the monkeys.

“Look at this. It’s a monkey footprint. Judging from the size, it’s an adult male.”

When I pointed to the ground and said that, everyone seemed to agree. A human child would wear shoes.

“It was a monkey?”, “I thought it was a thief and panicked!”, “Oookay. Break it up.”, “Dang it, don’t make such a fuss…”

The students return to their posts.

“….Is it Hitoshi-kun’s turn…?” When I mutter this Ringo makes a strange face.

“Hitoshi-kun?”

“No, no, I’m talking about…”

Minori raises her hand and says, “I just heard from the distributor that the cyclamen house was also vandalized. They seem to be doing it for fun.”

“They even invaded the poultry house of the livestock majors. Unfortunately we can’t sue them for theft or breaking and entering.”

Yeah… That’s the trouble with animals. If it’s a human you can take measures such as calling the police or appealing to common decency. But that doesn’t work with animals. All you can do is chase them off. In that situation the humans are at an overwhelming disadvantage. It’s impossible to monitor a large field 24 hours a day. On top of that this is a school. I have to leave the field open during classroom lectures, and after school I have to go home. This school is located in a residential area, and until now there has been almost no damage from such ‘vermin’…

“Hmmm… it looks like it would be better to prepare Hitoshi-kun after all…”, I mutter while folding my arms over my chest.

Yoshida-san is annoyed and says, “I’m asking! Who is this Hitoshi-kun!?”

“Hitoshi-kun is not a who. It’s a what.”

“What?”

“This is what it is ->”

(TN: the writing at the top says ‘rocket firework’, at the bottom ‘Hitoshi-kun’)

I drew a picture of Hitoshi-kun on the ground.

“What…. Is that…?”, said Yoshida-san who looks lost.

Everyone else also has a similar expression. Apparently they don’t use this around here. Hmmm, so that’s the case. They are not very active around here then is it?

Meanwhile Ringo tugs on my sleeve and says, “Ko…saku. What is this…?”

“This is Hitoshi-kun”, I say while showing the diagram I drew on the ground. “Its official name is ‘Hitoshi-kun number 2’. It’s mainly made of PVC pipes and fireworks. If you have access to the materials it makes a very affordable monkey repellant. It’s only about $2 each!”

Minori adds on to the explanation. “Instead of shooting fireworks, you can surprise the animals with the sound of an explosion. With this tool even my grandmother could drive away monkeys. So I always took one with me when I went to the fields.”

“Yeah yeah. It’s an air gun. There are electric ones too.”

The sight of grandpas and grandmas armed with air guns walking down the farm roads feels more like a war zone in Vietnam or Myanmar than in Japan. The fact is though that vermin and farmers are always at war.

The total amount of damage done to crops by wild boars and monkeys exceeds 100 million yen at the prefectural level, and bears that wonder into villages can even take human lives. Recently, new animals such as raccoons and nutria (TN: a large rodent) that come from abroad have become pests, and the damage continues to expand. Pest control is a war for survival between farmers and wild animals!

“It’s only natural for the school to report it and have countermeasures taken.”

Everyone nodded at Kei’s words.

Survival strategy?

*****************

It’s after school. For the time being we decided to discuss countermeasures in the classroom. Kei, who volunteered to be the moderator, stood in front of the blackboard and opened his mouth to speak.

“Now, let’s all give our opinions one by one.”

“OK. Then I’ll start.”

With that Minori gives her proposal…

ELECTRICAL CURRENT STRATEGY: PROPOSAL BY MINORI NAKAZAWA

“I made fences that allow an electric flow in the fields of my parents’ house. It surrounds it.”

“Ah, that sounds pretty effective.”

I agreed and Ringo asked. “Electricity… does it shock?”

“Yes. It doesn’t kill though. It’s pretty startling though, so they will get surprised and run away.”

Well if they get used to it they can dodge the fencing and invade the fields, but the monkeys around here aren’t used to it yet so I can see it being effective.

By the way, it’s a secret from the adults in the village but I used to play “electric current death match” (TN: a type of extreme pro wrestling match) using the electric fence. I once fainted and passed out.

“Well, what do you think? I don’t know what else to say, but I think it’s the most efficient solution, don’t you? And we wouldn’t need to do patrol rounds or anything.”

“Hmph. For a bunch of cultivation basics, it’s a pretty useful idea, isn’t it? Go ahead and do it.”

Yoshida-san also likes the idea.

“Hmmm… electric fence huh?”, Kei says while folding his arms. “Well, I don’t think it’s a bad idea… but it’s not possible.”

“Why?”, asks everyone.

“We don’t have money for it.”

On to the next idea!

FEEDING SATIETY STRATEGY: PROPOSAL BY RINGO KINOSHITA

“I think we should feed them.”

When we heard Ringo’s proposal at first we tilted our heads like, ‘huh?’.

“The monkeys are destroying the field because they want food right?”

Minori claps her hands. “I get it! If your stomach is full then you don’t need to go out of your way to destroy the fields right?”

“It’s something like… It’s like giving a sacrifice to an evil god to appease it.”

As expected of my Ringo-chan!

“Hmph… Animals and humans coexisting without harming each other. That’s not bad! Let’s go with it!”

Yoshida-san is always very enthusiastic.

“How about that Kei? Let’s go with it.”

“Hmmm. Not a bad idea… Kinoshita, but you’re missing an important point.”

“?”

“The fact is that it’s not only fruit trees and vegetable fields that are being attacked. The flower and green houses of the Distribution Science Department are also being vandalized for fun. I don’t think they’ll stop just because they aren’t hungry.”

“I..is that so. Yeah.”

Ringo looks depressed. I don’t like to see that but Kei is right. I’ve also heard that feeding monkeys makes them less afraid of humans, which leads to more damage.

“Kinoshita-san, don’t get too depressed ok? I mean… it was a pretty good idea for a newbie.”

“….I’m just trying to help out.”

Minori, who seems to have gotten along a little better with Ringo after the mud wrestling incident in the rice field, comforts her before I can. You’re a pest. Get away. Leave my Yuka-tan alone!

If I boldly present a solution here and it’s adopted, the difference between me and that idiot will be obvious. Then Ringo will fall in love with me… kukuku.

Now! Come on! It’s finally my turn!.