Volume 1 - CH 8.2

Unexpectedly the fields were destroyed.

OPERATION SUPER HITOSHI-KUN: Proposal by Hata Kosaku

“16 year old Hata Kosaku… I’ve spent the better part of my life fighting monkeys, and I have some great tales to tell. The solution I’ve come up with is… this!”

When I said ‘this’ and whipped it out everyone shouted in unison, “IT’S HUGE!”

“Hehehe… isn’t it?”

While wielding this huge thing like a spear I say, “It’s 30 times more powerful than the conventional Hitoshi-kun! It is able to launch 30 rocket fireworks at once! In this case it will no doubt deliver a traumatic impact to the monkeys with a single blow. This is the general-purpose wildlife damage countermeasure agricultural tool ‘Super Hitoshi-kun’!”

“Whoaaa. This looks strong.”, says Yoshida-san with an excited look on her face.

“Oh no… it’s big…”, Ringo says as her cheeks flush.

“Hmmm… don’t do it Minori!”

Kei also looks passionately at Super Hitoshi-kun with unprecedented vigor.

“If so many rocket fireworks explode all at once, the volume will be unimaginable! Is it possible to inflict so much trauma that the monkey will never come near here again?”

“Evidence is better than arguments. Just look at this power!” Saying that I load the rocket fireworks into Super Hitoshi-kun. 3 bundles of 10 fireworks per bundle. The fuses are tied in advance so all you have to do is like the one “It’s dangerous, so don’t stand in front of the launch port, ok?”

“I agree!”

After waiting for everyone to evacuated to the corner of the classroom, I aimed Super Hitoshi-kun out the window and lit the fuse. However…

“…Huh? That’s funny…”

It doesn’t fire.

“Hey, did you light the fuses properly? Did the fireworks get damp?”

“I don’t think so but… Hey Minori, can you look inside the front? Maybe the barrel is clogged up…”

“Hmmm… let’s see…”

POP POP POP POP POP POP POP POP POP POP POP BANG!

The moment Minori looked into the barrel from the launching side, 30 rocket fireworks exploded all at once.

“Kyaaaaaaaaaa!”

Minori, who received a direct hit, turned black and rolled on the floor while we all panicked. Hitoshi-kun is more powerful than I expected!

“Heeeeeeey! What are you doing, Group A?!”

Class F homeroom teacher Tachikawa-sensei bursts into the classroom and shouts with an angry voice.

“Wha.. what is this?! Is this… charred black thing lying on the floor Nakazawa? Huh?”

Tachikawa-sensei found Super Hitoshi-kun which I threw on the floor, and grabbed it.

“Hey, Hata! What is this BAZOOKA thing?!”

“Huh?! T..that is… um…”

“Nakazawa-san’s personal belonging.”

Surprisingly it was Ringo who stepped forward and said this.

“It is something that Nakazawa-san has created out of her dark mind to scare us into playing with it. It exploded while we were swinging it around and playing with it… I got scared…”

Is this a former idol who is lying like this? What great acting ability.

“…I see. In other words, this is something that Nakazawa made for fun and when she tried to fire it at you, you tried to escape and she accidentally took a direct hit, right?”

“That’s right. Even though she lit it, it wouldn’t fire. So when she looked inside trying to find out why…”

It’s hard to believe they are treating Minori like this big of an idiot. Well it’s true though.

“No matter how stupid Nakazawa is, it’s hard to believe she’s that stupid…”

“But it’s true! Isn’t that right Hata-kun?”, Ringo looked right at me when she said this.

…If I nod here I won’t get in trouble. But that would mean I’m blaming my own sins on Minori. That being the case… I…

“Um… we didn’t really want to be a part of it… but Nakazawa-san went out of control on her own…”

I sold out Minori without hesitation. Isn’t it natural? Aren’t I adorable?

“Hmmm… Kamatori, Yoshida, is that the truth?”

“Yes. WE warned her of the dangers.”

“Nakazawa did it all.”

Both Kei and Yoshida-san are honest people, unless it benefits them to lie.

“Really… Nakazawa is just completely helpless…”

Tachikawa Sensei lightly lifted up Minori, who was blackened by the gunpowder from the rocket fireworks, as if he were carrying a sack of rice.

“I’ll take Nakazawa to the infirmary for the time being, but don’t you guys stay too late.”

“Ooookaaaay.”

After everyone answers like this I add, “Oh, sensei.”

“What is it Hata?”

“Nakazawa-san’s memory may be a bit fuzzy from the impact of the explosion, so she may say some strange things when she wakes up. Please don’t believe any of that. It’s all a bunch of nonsense.”

“I got it. Now get home already.”

“Sensei, let me go with you. I’m worried…”

Ringo-chan went with him to monitor… or rather take care of Minori.

“I see. Kinoshita is thinking about her friend.”

Sensei nodded in admiration and left with Minori on his shoulders. Ringo followed. Thank you very much.

TEARS OF PERSUASION: PROPOSAL BY Kochou Yoshida

“OK you guys! Both monkeys and humans are primates! If we talk in good faith we’ll certainly be able to come to agreeable terms…”

“REJECTED”

After that, various opinions popped up but none of them were get everyone on board.

“It’s no use…”

At that moment, every idea seemed to have been exhausted. Finally, that man made his move.

RUTHLESS HUNTING BATTLE: PROPOSAL BY Kei Kamatori

“Call the hunter.”

“Hunter?”

“Fortunately there is only one monkey. If you get rid of that guy, then everything will end.”

Yeah, that’s true…

“But Kei. I don’t know how to put this but monkeys are close to humans, so killing them would leave a bad taste in your mouth wouldn’t it?”

“Monkeys are ruthless… I’m prepared to be as well.”

“Well… if that’s the case, I won’t say anything more.”

Let’s shoulder this guilt together.

“By the way Kei Kamatori. A permit is required to hunt monkeys in our prefecture. Is that going to be a problem?”, asks Yoshida-san.

“Leave that to me. I have an acquaintance who is a skilled hunter.”

Kei confidently accepted the task. I wonder what kind of person that is…

*********************

30 minutes later.

“This is Omori-san, a hunter.”

“Hello, I’m Omori.”

A strange old man showed up.

A man in his mid-forties wearing a checkered shirt and way too skinny looking, showed up. This man’s tucked in shirt, glasses, bandana, rucksack, and two mysterious white cylinders sticking out of the rucksack all made me uneasy.

No… seriously, who is this person…?

Hmm…. But it’s a bit too much to ask up front ‘What’s with this old man?’…

“That’s why Yoshida-san, you should ask him.”, I whispered.

“All right. I can’t help but wonder about it myself.”

“I think this goes without saying but you can’t ask straight up questions like, ‘What’s up with this weird guy?’. You need to ask about it in an indirect way, ok?”

“Leave it to me”

Yoshida-san points at Mr. Omori and says, “WHAT IS UP WITH THIS STRANGE OLD DUDE?!”

YOOOOOOO!

“What is with that you overconfident ass? You said you’d take care of it, so I expected something more… You brought in an old, geeky, otaku like this guy! And look at this man, he doesn’t even have a gun! Are you really a hunter?”

“Omori-san is a blowgun professional.”

Blowgun profession? Is there such a thing? That can’t be a thing.

“There’s no way he could let loose a few rounds of a rifle at a school. That’s why we called in a professional blowgunnier for less noise and danger.”

Oh, I see… As expected of Kei. He’s always thinking of the little details.

“Omori-san here is teaching how to use blowguns to children in this neighborhood. It seems that they actively go hunting with blowguns. Isn’t that right Omori-san?”

“Yes. I am the founder of the Omori style of blowgun arts.”

The founder… does that mean he’s the person who started it? Wait… before that, what is blowgun arts?

“Hey Kei…”

I pulled Kei to the corner to talk to him in private.

“Dammit Kei. Where did you meet this person?”

“There’s a car rental shop in front of the school right?”

“There is.”

“He was being questioned in the parking lot over there.”

Is he a suspicious person?

“Don’t worry. He looks shabby, but my skills are solid.”

“Even you think he looks shabby.”

Hmph. I have a lot of reservations with this, but I don’t have any other good ideas. For now let’s just see how it works.

When I approach Omori-san I greet him with a timid smile.

“Oh, um… Thank you very much for today…”

“You’re welcome.”

He talks normally at least…

“By the way, where is the blowgun? In your backpack?”

“Yeah, right here.”

Omori-san pulled out the white cylinder protruding from his rucksack like a light saber.

Huh…?

“That is a blowgun…?”

“It’s a sniper’s blowgun.”

A freaking sniper’s blowgun?!

“I..is that so… ahahaha. I was wrong… I thought that cylinder was an anime poster or something hahaha… You’re joking right?”

“No it is an anime poster.”

“Eh?”

“It’s a blowgun case made by rolling up an anime poster. You want to see?”