CH 118

Sincerity Will Work Someday

“Can you do it, Nataniel? Have you tried it?”

[I did it a long time ago.]

His gaze at the shining water surface was dazzling.  Kyrie held out the stone.

“Then throw it. You won’t turn down my request, right?”

Nathaniel seemed a little hesitant and was handed over a stone. Kyrie spoke vigorously.

“Throw it as hard as you can!”

[With all my might.]

Nathaniel muttered and threw a stone without sincerity. At the same time, there was a huge sound, and the lake water burst out.

“Oh?”

[Oh.]

Nathaniel’s short mumble was belatedly heard. The water that rose high in the sky belatedly poured over their heads. It was a moment when Kyrie crouched in anticipation of getting wet.

“Wha-”

When she raised her head because what she had been waiting for didn’t come, Nathaniel stood in front of her and covered her with a cloak.

[Did you get wet anywhere?]

Drops of water fell over Nathaniel’s head. His black hair felt more decadent when it was wet. 

Kyrie, who was watching the scene as if possessed, belatedly noticed that Nathaniel was also staring at her. The blue eyes were deep and sad for no reason, and Kyrie avoided his gaze without realizing it.

“The lake water… It must have been dirty.”

[Fortunately, it doesn’t seem like it poured on you.]

“It wasn’t about me.”

[You worry about others before you so much, so if not me, who would worry about you?]

Nathaniel pulled his arm out from the slightly hugging motion, then loosened his cloak.  As he flicked his arm, the cloak disappeared and the wet clothes returned fine in an instant.  He began to smell of fine fabrics that had been dried in the sun and incense again.

Kyrie glanced up at Nataniel.

“……You’re a little weird today.”

Nathaniel paused, but soon smiled again and reached out his hand.

[It wasn’t just today.]

“But yesterday was very…….”

He was sweet.

Kyrie blurred the end of her sentence. Nathaniel, who noticed her hidden words, folded his thin eyes and smiled.

[It bothered you. I’ll be careful.]

“It’s not like that…… I was wondering if you had any concerns.”

[No way.]

That was a smooth answer. Kyrie stared at Nathaniel, and asked as if tossing.

“Then why do you have such a sad face?”

Nathaniel paused. He smiled beautifully as if his face was painted but that was it.

The two began to walk silently across the lake. There was a wooden table for picnics at the edge of the park. Even until the servants arranged their seats and set up a simple feast, Nathaniel remained silent. It was clear that he wanted to pretend not to know this topic. If she was a noble, she should have passed, but Kyrie opened her mouth again.

“Will I be of no help?”

[That’s not true.]

Nathaniel answered calmly as if he had thought in advance.

[There’s nothing else I can do. It’s not a problem that anyone can solve.]

“I might be able to help you.”

[It would be better for that girl if we don’t do anything.  Because my actions are usually too flashy in her opinion.]

Girl. At an unexpected word, Kyrie opened her eyes wide.

“Is she a lover?”

At first glance, Nathaniel smiled at her question. 

[Unfortunately, no.]

“…..So she’s someone you like, huh?”

[That’s.]

Nathaniel paused and lowered his eyes.

[Right. It’s not an accurate expression]

“Oh.”

Kyrie was a little surprised by the honest confession she had never imagined would hear from an adult man. Her face turned a little red. Kyrie stood up straight, hoping that she would look a little more mature.

“Hmm……What kind of person is she?”

[Very pretty.]

“Oh…”

And too honest. Nathaniel really didn’t change his expression and said such a shy thing. For no reason, Kyrie’s cheeks burned.

“She must be beautiful.”

[I didn’t say it, but yes, she’s the prettiest person I’ve ever seen.]

“Don’t you think she’ll like it when you say that to her?”

[She’ll look in the mirror, too, so I don’t have to tell her.]

It was such a blind way of thinking that it was admirable. Kyrie humbly accepted Nathaniel’s cold soup.

“Did you two fight?”

[Rather than that, I just did something wrong unilaterally.]

Kyrie picked up the spoon with an unexpected face.

“Do you want to make up with her?”

[…If possible.]

“Why?”

[Because I want to see her smile]

“…….”

Her heart seemed to flutter a little. Kyrie smiled forcefully, avoiding his gaze to hide it.

“What about giving something she likes?”

Nathaniel tilted his head slightly. His expression was a little dark.

[I don’t know what she likes.]

“You like someone, but you don’t know what they like?”

Aren’t you a fool? Then she barely swallowed the words that were about to pop out.

“But if you liked her, you would have watched her.”

[Usually, everyone told me what they wanted on their own, so I couldn’t pay attention.]

“Oh.”

He sounded like a royal family. He seems to have a really high status.

Kyrie decided to think a little differently. If he is from a royal family, it may not be natural from his point of view. She asked suddenly after thinking.

“Did you say you were sorry?”

Nathaniel’s expression wiped away from his face. Kyrie read a very dim look of surprise from his face.

“…You didn’t?”

How long has he lived as a nobleman? Whether such an idea was revealed, Nathaniel replied with hesitation.

[I gave money.]

“Idiot….sorry.”

Kyrie covered her mouth in a hurry. Nathaniel showed no signs of unpleasantness.

[The wind is strong]

It wasn’t even windy. He gracefully overlooked Kyrie’s mistake. After responding silently to his generosity, Kyrie gathered both of her hands still on her dress.

“-I don’t understand. Why did you give her the money?”

[Because normal people prefer a certain thing to an apology.]

“Didn’t no one tell you that you apologize first when you do something wrong?”

[Who dares?]

Strangely enough, the words didn’t sound arrogant at all. Rather, it felt very self-help. He added while watching Kyrie with a blank face.

[Don’t you think so? Literature, music, history……. Everyone cries that there is no point in apologizing only with words.]

Kyrie tilted her head. He was talking as if he had never lived with people. Or there are only leech-like people around him because his status is so high. Kyrie’s face darkened.

“But… It’s all fake.”

After speaking, Kyrie realized. She doesn’t know why, but she stabbed Nathaniel in the heart.

Nathaniel’s eyes sank deeply. His eyes, which looked thin as if they were closing, felt a deep sadness that could only be experienced on a winter night or when he was alone. Having been quiet for a long time, he soon smiled gently and gently.

[If you have only one thing(human), it doesn’t matter if it’s real or fake.]

(T/N: he means if he has only one human with him, it won’t matter to him if they are fake or real, that’s why he doesn’t hesitates to keep Kyrie with him even if he has to break her)

There was no refutation or anger. As if that’s natural. He was like a prince struggling to somehow fit among the beggars.  But no matter what, the prince could not be a beggar.

Kyrie stared blankly at him and suddenly opened her mouth.

“Are you lonely?”

Nathaniel blinked his bright blue eyes. His gaze was transparent as if a lake that had not been touched by a human was frozen.

[You always ask me that.]

“Always… Huh?”

Kyrie asked back. Nathaniel stared at Kyrie for a while, but did not answer at the end. All kinds of unknown emotions swirled in Kyrie’s head as she watched him. He seemed very hateful, pitiful, or good. And she wanted to run away from all those emotions the most.

However, Kyrie said, clenching her small fist, moving her trembling jaw for some reason.

“Lord, you have to apologize.”

Nathaniel looked at her quietly. Kyrie repeatedly stressed it out.

“If you did something wrong, you have to say sorry, Lord. That’s where it starts.”

[It’s Nathaniel. But it’s just a small matter. Words can’t promise anything]

(T/N: he is telling her to address him as “Nathaniel”)

“Please tell her that you are sorry.”.

Kyrie said quietly while being choked up by an unknown feeling.

“And you would try to correct your mistakes. She won’t be able to forgive right away. So, after saying sorry a lot…… Please wait.”

Nathaniel’s expression blanked out. The eyes like the wet sky met the innocent purple eyes, and then took on a sad light.

[Will she accept it?]

“Even if she doesn’t accept it, you have no choice but to apologize.”

[If she doesn’t accept it?]

“Say sorry again.”

[What if she still doesn’t accept it?]

“You still have to say you are sorry.”

[Then will she accept it?]

“Like that, right away…….”

[After a long time has passed, will she accept it?]

“I think, um……”

[If it were you, would you accept it?]

Kyrie realized that the beautiful man in front of her was nervous. Nathaniel, who blinks like a deer with his mouth closed, was very clean. They were sad blue eyes.

Kyrie’s eyes heated up as she saw him.

She mumbled, “I don’t know.”

Nathaniel’s face showed a very light but clear sadness.

“However.”

Kyrie turned her head away, unable to control her feelings. A sound that resembled a sob escaped between her lips.

“But how can we endure all that sadness if we don’t believe that sincerity will work someday.”

***

When they returned back to the mansion, people were coming from Old Ciudad and Fort Ducane. They were doctors that Maria and Laura sent for Kyrie.

“I’m sick?”

Kyrie asked with suspicious eyes. She looked anxious. The Doctors nodded.

“You should see a doctor. It’s a ritual, so you don’t have to be too scared.”

“It’s a formal examination. How many days will you stay in your room?”

“It’s inevitable for treatment, Buchanan.”

“I don’t think I’m sick.”

Perhaps because of the strangers, Kyrie flinched and hid behind Nathaniel’s back. Then Cesar, who had difficulty moving due to his injured toe, frowned in a crooked posture.

“Kyrie, Your Excellency…….”

[Buchanan.]

Nathaniel called Cesar’s name low. Cesar coughed in vain.

“Say hello to each other and see the doctor. I’ll be waiting for you, too.”

“…….”

“If you do well and come back, I’ll read you a book when you sleep.”

“Really?”

“I’ll pat your head until you fall asleep, so you get treatment properly.”

Kyrie’s face brightened up. On the other hand, Nathaniel had a faint realization. Why has Kyrie never refused him to visit her bedroom? She could never have refused the reward-like touch she was given “only when she worked hard.”

Kyrie soon stood in front of Nathaniel with a beautiful smile.

“Will you still be here after I get a checkup?”

Kyrie asked. Nathaniel smiled affectionately.

[I’m going to stay.]

“Oh! That’s a relief. There’s still a lot I want to talk about.”