CH 122

Let’s Go, Your Royal Highness.

Nathaniel was silent for a very long time.

After a while, he moved the corners of his mouth.  He moved his mouth like a man who wanted to smile somehow, but then he stopped.  His trembling blue eyes trembled like a child who lost his parents in the crowd.  Kyrie turned away from the struggle-like gaze that she couldn’t let go of once she saw it.

“……I will go first.”

[Only today.]

A hoarse voice could be heard in Kyrie’s ears as she was about to pass by him.

Nathaniel kept his standing posture, bowing his head slightly, and opened his mouth with difficulty.

[Bet on my name…….I’ll do anything within my abilities, just for today.]

“…….”

[……Even for an hour.]

The breathing of the squeezed out voice was harsh. Nathaniel, startled for a moment, turned his head in the opposite direction.

[Really, just look……..]

Kyrie stopped. It was already a broken relationship.  Holding onto such a relationship and trying to revive it somehow made her upset.  What is the end and what is the worst thing in the world? Now he’s like Kyrie Buchanan when she was young, begging to be petted because she worked hard.  It was the look that Kyrie didn’t want to see the most.  And she didn’t want to take responsibility for anything anymore.

“…….no, I do not want to.”

Having said that, Kyrie walked out of her room, clenching her teeth so as not to look back.  And Nathaniel was left alone in hell.

He stood there upright for a while.  The inside of his chest seemed to burn quietly.  Nathaniel closed his eyes and waited for it to pass.

But no matter how much time passed, it never passed.  Rather, as time passed, the weight in his heart became clearer. It was probably broken into twelve pieces and flowing with blood. Seeing how hot his body is.

He couldn’t move. It felt like something might explode the moment he moved.  Nathaniel stood and swallowed it. His neck was twitching several times, and the strength that had entered between the brows could not be released.

He seemed to melt, but strangely, the top of his head seemed to burst from the inside. His chest fluctuated irregularly, then subsided, and then something swelled up again and again.  He didn’t know what it felt like to be ‘brought to tears’.

It wasn’t until after a while before Nathaniel was able to sit as if collapsing on the sofa, which was only a few steps away.  Not knowing what he would do if he relaxed his body, he clenched his fists tightly.  And he hardened his chin firmly so as not to let out a small moan.  Fortunately, Kyrie’s words were still stagnant in the room.  That kept Nathaniel’s patience thin.

He once had a similar night. When Kyrie was kidnapped by Orewinbridge. Even then, he wasn’t very well, but he certainly had some leeway.  At the time, Nathaniel knew that Kyrie was, of course, very small and cute, but not irreplaceable.

Everything was like that. There is no such thing as unprecedented genius. He wasn’t even a hero. No matter how special it seemed, it wasn’t that special in terms of eternity.  In the endless hours of time, there were so few that he could count on his fingers the only ‘one’ being.  Nathaniel was one of them, and there were countless others.

Kyrie was definitely Nathaniel’s world.  At least in this century it is.  However, it was difficult to believe that it would be strong for Nathaniel, who realized how often and easily the world in the past was falling apart.

Believed and betrayed.

Believe and be killed.

Believe and get ignored.

But believe, believe, and believe again……

Then he decided to build a fortress that would not be destroyed by hatred. It was very easy, and no one could blame him for changing his attitude according to his mood.

“……But I can’t.  You said that we change our attitude like turning our palms around to speak kindly, taking care, ….Everything can’t go back to normal, Nathaniel…….”

Still, he told Kyrie not to do that much.

The sun set in the room, and night came.  One by one, lights were turned on to illuminate the darkness in Buchanan’s mansion. Leschaux was escorting Kyrie at Nathaniel’s request, and Kyrie went to sleep later than usual.

Nathaniel was sad again. He has been out of breath. What if Kyrie has another nightmare?  She now has no one to take her away from her nightmares. What if someone sends an assassin?  The weak Kyrie Buchanan would die if only one of her arms was cut off.

If she eats poison.

Even if she falls from a high place.

Even if that father does harm.

But despite all his worries, he couldn’t go to Kyrie’s bedroom in the end. Her cold voice whirled in his ears.

‘No, I do not want to.’

Nathaniel couldn’t quite remember how he felt when he heard those words. He only remembered that his whole body had received all of Kyrie Buchanan’s voice without filtration.

‘I am now…..I’m afraid when you see me  I want to run away.  I hate to talk to you, and I think I’m going crazy when you call my name.’

Since it was the last time, he just wanted to show a plausible image if possible.  If it’s Kyrie Buchanan with a weak heart, she’s sure to think like, ‘Did I mean something bad?’  So he just tried not to show it as much as possible.

But every time he smiled, she sighed, and Nathaniel could only hide his embarrassment.  Even now, Nathaniel didn’t know what he was supposed to do. He felt like a child who knew nothing.

That was the saddest.  It was as if you were sentenced to be an outsider forever.  He will never understand Kyrie.

Nathaniel slowly tilted his head.

If that’s the case, he’d rather not let her know loneliness. He didn’t want her to make others feel warm (to be responsible for them). Let them know that spring is coming at the end of winter.

It was painful, as if his five internal organs were being ripped to pieces.  Still, the night passed hopelessly, and the last day dawned.  When the dawn light came through the curtains, Nathaniel foolishly turned back time.  The edge of the sun goes down again to the earth, the sky turns black, and then it passes, into a ripe evening.  And gradually back to the original time.

(T/N: yes he can turn back time)

After running like that dozens of times, he turned his head and looked out of the window.  It was then that he realized it.

He will never see her again.

[Kyrie…..]

Why should she have been born with a broken heart for a single name? He will never know.  Closing his eyes at the sunlight that pierced her eyes, Nathaniel let out the saliva he couldn’t swallow.

And he regretted it.  

If this was really the last time, I’d say I’m sorry.  No matter how unworthy and common it was, I would say it.

‘Sorry. I’m afraid of you.’

‘I’m afraid of you……So this is for a reason.  Understand me.’

‘I’m sorry. You know too much.’

They throw stones at him even if they are sorry, betray him even if they are sorry, and try to kill him even if they are sorry.  The apology he knows is justification and self-rationalization, just to relieve their guilt.  He thought they would be happy to ger reward them with actions and material things if they gave him that much.

Still, he would have said he was sorry.

But it’s already too late.

Nathaniel slowly stood up. It was more like being dragged than getting up. Now he had no awareness of moving a humanoid body.  What’s the point if it’s not having Kyrie?

As Nathaniel left the room, he met MarryAnne at the door.  The one-eyed maid was the first to get scared and shocked.

“…N, athaniel, sir”

Her handmaiden gasped for her breath.  Nathaniel didn’t do anything. Just because he’s too strong.  Just because he’s so strong, a normal being will go crazy or die just looking at his true form.  Her heart would soon stop, too.

But if she dies, Kyrie will be sad.

Nathaniel, who looked down at her maid with her eyes closed in fear, refined his body into a human form. MarryAnne took a deep breath with a pale face.

“Ugh…..”

[Anything to say?]

MarryAnne looked up at Nathaniel with a mixture of fear and hostility.

“A, are you going……?”

[Leaving.]

Nathaniel replied calmly. He checked the location of the Kyrie, ran to her, and stood with a cane to avoid kneeling on the floor.

[You have a role too.]

Nathaniel lifted his head for a moment and looked at the scene through the window. He thought that there was a world where Kyrie was alive somewhere, so there was nothing she could not be sad about.

[You must have known.  Cesar Buchanan is Kyrie’s biological father, no matter how petty it may be, and Kyrie knows that she’s not a flexible child enough to spare the person who killed her father.]

MarryAnne flinched like a man who had been stabbed. The little head faltered.

“…… MarryAnne didn’t want to be hated by her.  MarryAnne of course hates the Lord, and I want him to disappear, but….”

[Yes. That seems to be the case.]

“…..Yes?”

[So you stick to Cesar Buchanan. When the time comes, if he finds Kyrie first, even if at all, take him to Kyrie.]

Nathaniel gently lowered her eyes.

[But if not….]

His voice lowered one level.

[Leave him alone and walk away.  And tell Kyrie that I killed him.]

MarryAnne’s eyes widened and her mouth opened. Nathaniel looked down at the speechless blonde maid, then turned his head.  He was jeopardized as if the magical power, which had been condensed in the royal palace, would be shattered. He couldn’t delay any longer.  Nathaniel smiled like a smirk.

[It’s always up to me.]

***

Kyrie’s pen stopped looking at the documents.  She thought of Nathaniel for a moment.

It was the second time she had seen Nathaniel look like he was about to collapse. The first time was in a secluded house far from Pronoia, and even then he had that expression on his face.

‘Strangely pathetic.’

Kyrie flicked her pen and fell into her thoughts.

‘The three days Sir Leschaux said are today.  Why three days?  What is happening today?’

Kyrie looked out of the window.  The capital remained unchanged.  The reconstruction of the mansion was also proceeding safely, and there was no other attack.  The wizards of Pronoia came and said, “Magic!  magic!  But I believe in the Lord!”  They used to say the same thing, but when I asked them more closely, they didn’t even know what was going on.

Kyrie turned her gaze back to the papers.  She was exhausted no matter what, and she thought every day she would do what she had to do.  She’ll probably live that way for the rest of her life, but it doesn’t matter.  Don’t fail if you don’t expect it.

Soon Rimo came in with a knock on her door.

“Oh, lady.”

“What’s the matter? I’m busy, so keep it simple.”

Kyrie said without moving her gaze. She replied, as Rimo swallowed her saliva.

“The Crown Princess has come to visit.”

Kyrie’s pen stopped.  Ink dripped from the nib that pierced the paper, growing a black dot.  Anxiety spread like that in her mind.

Rubinia Orewinbridge was wearing all black.  Her black dress that covered the tip of her neck and her fingertips gave a delicate impression.  said Rubinia, who covered her face with a black veil on her palm-sized hat.

“Come with me, Kyrie Buchanan.”

Kyrie sat facing her in front of her and blinked her eyes.  Rubinia slowly removed the veil that covered her face.

“Come with me. You have to go with me.”

Kyrie found a cut on her Rubinia’s cheek.  She was slapped. She (Emperor) was out of control and it made her sad. The world is so full of misery. With people’s lives like this, it was no wonder that Nathaniel was regarded as a god.

“Why are you still being treated like that, Your Royal Highness?”

Rubinia snorted at her.

“Isn’t it the same for you?  The more I see you, the more miserable you are. At least I’m here because I want to.”

At Rubinia’s words, Kyrie lowered her gaze to the floor.  That’s right. She’s just here because she can’t die.

“Did the Emperor tell you to bring me?”

“Come with me.”

“What will happen to me if I don’t go?”

“You don’t know? Come with me.”

“I will not go.”

“I thought you would say that.”

Although she refused, Rubinia seemed to like her answer. But she soon opened her eyes like a wildcat.

“So we decided to hold a memorial service today.”

“What?”

“Dead Guards. It was a disgraceful discharge.”

Kyrie’s mouth opened slightly. She could predict what Rubinia would say next.

“I will treat them as honorably killed in a memorial service today. They will all be treated as men of merit, and they will be enshrined in the national cemetery.  The Buchanan family has provided financial support, but only the royal family can give the honor.”

“However, the grave was dug up and the ashes were thrown away……”

“It was executed by the royal family at the command of the Legendary Lord.  There’s no way they’d really throw it away, right?  A hand that is good to use like that.”

Rubinia’s eyes were indifferent.

“Aaron Fitz. He will get his honor back. I decided to give medals to other victims as well.  It is unusual.”

Obviously it is. Kyrie’s face darkened, and Rubinia was determined.

“That unusual thing won’t happen unless you attend the memorial service.”

“If I go.”

“No matter what you do, I will restore their honor.  Of course, if you believe in me.”

Kyrie closed her eyes. Aaron and Meloni’s images of the past flashed..  The sad thing was that Kyrie was now dulling their deaths.  In the hardships of life, the sharpness of emotion becomes blunt day by day.

So don’t be late.

In the end, Nathaniel was right.  Death is the only way out, given equally to everyone.  Kyrie slowly opened her eyes.

“…….That’s fortunate. I just documented yesterday what the Buchanan family would do if my father and I died at the same time.”

Rubinia looked sullenly at her.

“Do you believe me?”

“Because you are the one who does what you say you will.”

“……is it so? I’m telling you that you’ve come all the way here, but if you come, you might die.”

“…….”

“Would you risk your life for someone else’s honor?”

Kyrie got up from her seat.

“Please wait.”

Kyrie slowly walked out into the hallway, and she entered a small garden where no one was there.

“Lord Leschaux.”

After a brief whisper, Leschaux appeared, stepping on the grass. The giant sword was still loosely wrapped around his waist.

〔Nathaniel left the mansion in the morning.〕

Kyrie paused.  The nuance was strange.

“He left?”

〔Yes.〕

To her question, Leschaux replied with an incredulous look.  Perhaps he was in the habit of not revealing his purpose for ever.  Leschaux showed an attitude of asking if she had any questions, but Kyrie avoided her gaze after silence.

“I see.”

〔And I will not sanction you for whatever you do.]

“Whatever I do?”

〔Yes.〕

Kyrie looked at Leschaux with a smile.  He still didn’t change his expression. However, Kyrie read from him a sign of wanting her to follow Rubinia.

After a while, she smiled softly.

“The Lord actually wanted to kill me, or he wanted me to die.”

Instead of answering, Leschaux smiled.  It was a smile with no meaning.

Kyrie turned her body and went back to the room where Rubinia was.

“Let’s go, Your Royal Highness.”

***

T/N: The angst ends(?) Here, now we’ll see the epic war between the Emperor and Nathaniel~~