Su Qi held me helplessly, apologizing over and over again.
“I will never abandon you again!”
I cried even harder, thinking, if only I could turn back time.
But there was no medicine for regrets in this world, let alone time machines.
I couldn’t go back in time, much less start over again.
But I didn’t blame him.
Because I was the one who brought it upon myself.
Probably because I was an extremist. Even though I knew that the relationship I wanted was impossible, I tried to push for it, questioning and testing it over and over again, till in the end, I was covered in bruises.
Su Qi was also a victim. What right did I have to blame him?
That night, he accompanied me home. In the past, he would only send me to the foot of the block. However, this time, I paced back and forth downstairs, worried about the storm that might break out when I stepped into the house.
When he saw me hesitating and afraid to go upstairs, he suddenly took my hand and said, “Don’t worry. I’m here.”
I was stunned to hear those words.
They were words that Dongyu had said to me countless times.
But in my most desperate moments, he was not there for me.
I didn’t know how much credibility to assign to Su Qi’s words.
It was because of our youth that some heavy promises were casually given.
In those moments, the promises were sincere. However, those promises had to be broken, because the outcomes would have been impossible.
My initial belief gradually gave way to caution.
Su Qi took my hand as I walked up the stairs behind him. Then we knocked on the door.
It was my mother who opened the door. The moment she saw me, she reached out her hand and grabbed my collar, pulling me into the house. Su Qi saw this and rushed over in fright. He protected me by drawing me away from her, then standing in front of me and saying, “Auntie, calm down!”
“Who are you?!” My mother got even angrier when she saw him.
Dad walked out of the study. The moment he saw me, his expression reflected a complex mix of worry, heartache and anger.
Dongyu was in the living room, however upon seeing me, he suddenly stood up and retreated into the study.
My heart sank.
Su Qi turned back to look at me, then at my mother. “My name is Su Qi,” he said quietly. “I’m… I’m Xiachun’s boyfriend.”
“What? Boyfriend!?”
Unable to accept this, my mother rebuked angrily, “Are you kidding me?! Our Xiachun is only in junior high school. Boyfriend?! When did this happen?!”
“We’ve been… dating for a year.”
Su Qi took a deep breath and continued, “I’m sorry, but I really like Xiachun! I’m considering, if it’s possible, I’ll marry her when she gets into university!”
Marry?
What a joke.
Suddenly his hand seemed to burn. I pulled back and said angrily, “Su Qi, don’t talk nonsense. We’ve broken up.”
Then I thought about what had happened that night, and I felt even more mortified. After what had happened, it felt like my whole life had been turned upside down. Even between Su Qi and I, a subtle change had taken place.
More than anything, I didn’t dare place any hopes in a future with him, marriage was an even more ridiculous idea.
Perhaps the word “break up” only pushed my mother to become more unreasonable. She flew into a rage. “Yin Xiachun! How old do you think you are?! Date? Break up?! Do you still want to study and get into high school?!”
I kept quiet.
Su Qi swallowed his anger and said in a quiet voice, “Auntie, dating won’t affect her examinations! I swear!”