3.18 In Which the Dark Lord Comes to the Bridge and Blows It Up

3.18 In Which the Dark Lord Comes to the Bridge and Blows It Up

Dont even fucking think about it! Hoy barked at me, his mocking demeanor suddenly switching to pure contemptuous ragewhich was weird, since I wasnt even doing anything at that moment except dithering in the realization of how out of my depth I was. I see even one of you shitheads aim those things anywhere near me and Ill strangle your families with your fucking colon! Shoot the other one, morons!

Oh, he wasnt talking to me, just the goblins behind me. Also, important thing learned: if I didnt want to get shot in the back with a spiked grenade, I needed to stay within melee range of the goblin sorcerer who had a big spiky weapon that he could currently use a lot better than I could mine.

Lovely. Well, the upside was they couldnt do the other thing either, since the pair of us were between the slingers and Yoshi.

Since there was nothing else for it, I lunged forward, stabbing at him. Hoy contemptuously swatted my thrust aside with his staff, then in my next attempt actually caught the blade of my rapier between the protruding tines of his own weapon. The little shit paused to grin triumphantly at me before twisting violently in a move that should have wrenched the rapier out of my hand.The source of this content nov(el)bi((n))

It didnt, because his fancy-looking custom bladestaff might as well have been precision-designed to make that impossible: the four crescent-moon blades curved outward from its top, meaning the twisting force just made my blade slide smoothly out from between them. It did wrench the rapier forcefully to one side, leaving me momentarily wide open, and Hoy didnt hesitate this time, lunging in a brutal stab that would have skewered me had I not frantically leaped back. I barely evaded getting impaled, and only my Surestep Boots kept me on my feet after that clumsy backwards leap. I felt the distinctively disorienting sensation of my feet twisting improbably under me in a position that preserved my balance and didnt sprain anything, a maneuver I would definitely not have been able to execute on purpose.

Hang on. The boots were still working Why them, and not the sword or dagger?

There was no time to dwell on it; I was now out of Hoys blast radius, which was a deadly place to be. Indeed, a spiked grenade whizzed past the space Id just occupied as I lunged forward to engage him again, arcing down into the canyon to explode against the opposite wall.

Fire Lance! he shouted, flinging the spell blindly at Yoshi to keep him pinned down while he whipped up his staff to deal with me again. I parried an attack, made him dodge a thrust, then forced him to retreat from my next stab before he could swing his staff to counter me. The frustrated anger was growing on the goblins face as he found me not quite as helpless as hed expected.

Here was the thing about the Mastery enchantment.

The way to improve a skill is to practice it: to repeat the necessary motions correctly, so many times they become second nature and can be executed without thought. If youre doing something with an artifact that enables you to do it perfectly, every time, youre not just very effective while using said artifact, you are building muscle memory that doesnt go away when you put it down. As soon as I realized this, Id made a point to train with the rapier every day, against anybody at North Watch willing to spar with me. I hadnt counted on the artifact itself ever being neutralized, but I was expecting it to be taken from me at some point (all my artifacts were looted from defeated enemies, after all). After a couple months of this, I was Well, I was nowhere near the master fencer I could be with the Mastery enchantment working. But I was also better than a guy whod been training with the blade for a couple months the old-fashioned way. Maybe not all that much better, but as it turned out, it was enough.

Barely.

Hoy and I probed at each other, dancing back and forth; this was an annoyingly close match. I guess he was like me, a sorcerer who carried a weapon as a backup and had never had reason to be more than just competent with it. It only took him a few seconds of this to lose patience.

Thats enough of your bullshit, the goblin spat at me, hopping back, lowering his staff and holding out his other hand. Realizing his intent, I frantically backpedaled and lunged to the side, not that I could possibly be quick enough to evade the

Fire Lance!

Nothing happened. I paused uncertainly, raising my rapier to guard position.

Hoys face twisted in animal rage. Shock!

Againnothing.

Boots, and also ring Oho. So that was how it was.

I gave him my broadest, most shit-eating grin. Yeah, thats pretty fuckin annoying, isnt it, lil buddy?

Hoy snarled at me, half-turned to hammer Yoshi with another Fire Lance, then lunged at me with his bladestaff again.

Boss! Its only protecting him from effects directed at him! Biribo said out loud, now that Id already figured that out myself.

Right. Go update the others on the details, Ive got this. Radatina would have seen the same and informed Yoshi; I wasnt sure what Rizz or Gizmit might have been able to pick up from their angles, but if I got them both on the same page, one or the other might come up with something while I kept the Void witch busy.

Now that I thought of it, Id also been able to cast Heal on Yoshi, right past Hoyand now I did it again, because hed soaked up a few more Fire Lances since and just to verify once more that it worked. Yep, we were still in business. So I couldnt use an offensive artifact on himwhich apparently extended to the invisibility effect of my daggeror cast spells at him. That left me with Surestep Boots to ensure flawless footing no matter how we chased each other around on this ledge that was increasingly covered in shrapnel and broken rock from all the explosions. He couldnt target me with spells, either. Also, I had an artifact to protect me from lethal hits, and I could still cast Heal on myself to remedy anything else.

This was starting to look like an annoying stalemate, but that was a hell of a lot better than the hopeless debacle Id thought it was seconds ago. And I still didnt understand everything; Hoys posture at the start of this said he wasnt worried about being shot with arrows or slingshots, and he had yet to reveal why. Fortunately there was a fix for that.

Unfortunately part of the initial problem remained: if our archers took a shot at Hoy, his slingers would retaliate and they had a massive edge in firepower.

So I knew what we had to do before we could take out the Void witch.

Okay, step one Hoy was pissed off but not on the run, and he appeared more than adroit enough to keep us both pinned down by engaging me with his weapon and slamming Yoshi with fire spells. Yoshi couldnt retaliate with magic thanks to his Void art and couldnt get closer because Fire Lance packed a kinetic punch in addition to its heat; if he didnt brace himself fully and cower behind his shield, each one would send him flying, extra crispy.

Yoshi! I barked, already dashing to plant myself between him and Hoy. Switch! Use your Force Wave to stop them shooting bombs at us!

WhOmura, you cant tank him! Im in armor and I have a shield, youre too squishy

What the fuck did he just call me?!

Just do what I say, Ill explain later!

Finally shutting up, he pivoted, staying behind me as I re-positioned myself. I was still too close to Hoy to be a bombing targetand fully occupied keeping him from stabbing or bludgeoning mebut Yoshi could be possibly clipped by the slingers at this range.

Force Wave! he shouted, and my coat was tugged by the kinetic blast that ripped outward just as the telltale twang of slingshots fired twice. As before, the grenades were whipped right back into the goblins ranks; I heard two explosions and several screams, unable to suppress a wince. Hopefully Aster and the others were still hunkered down behind the doorway; they were in that direction.

I have had it with you fuckers! Hoy raged. Force Wave!

Oh, right, area of effect spells didnt have to be aimed at me.

Man, getting hit with that thing point blank sucked. It was a fast-moving wall of pure kinetic energy; Id been slammed into Yoshi before I could really process the full-body impact to my front, and then we were tumbling over each other. I found myself skidding across the floor, dazed, ending up with Yoshis fallen form just within my field of view. Hed managed to land a little more gracefully than I, awkwardly on one knee and bringing his shield back up with a grunt of pain. His motions were slow, as if hed sprained something in the fall.

Heal! Heal!

The spell brought the air back into my lungs and rid my skull of the disorienting ringing, and got Yoshi back up to full strength as well. Of course, now we were at a bad distance from Hoy, who lost no time in firing off another Fire Lance to keep Yoshi occupied, and then another. I whirled toward the last remaining King-aligned goblins, unsure if my Windburst would be enough to turn back a bomb volley, but it was the only idea I had. Sure enough, a goblin was there, raising a slingshot one-handed

Wait, that was Rizz. She was kneeling on another goblins back, her free arm holding one of his twisted painfully behind him, and taking aim at Hoy. The sorcerer glanced aside, did a double take, and whirled to cast at her.

Not fast enough.

The bomb flew truethen suddenly jerked to one side before it reached him, pinging into the ground barely a meter away. Huh, no wonder he wasnt worried about getting shot by arrows from above. Unfortunately for him, bombs were not arrows.

The blast wasnt close enough to properly finish him, but it was close enough that the shockwave and shrapnel sent him painfully to the ground. Toward the edge of the crevice, but sadly not close enough.

Cmon! I grabbed Yoshi by the collar of his armored tunic and tugged, leading him around behind one of the heavy pillars holding up the row of balconies above us. There, we gained at least a moments respite; couldnt afford to linger here, but I had been struck by inspiration and needed to bring Yoshi up to speed on my new and improved strategy.

Boss! Biribo squawked, zipping back down to rejoin us just in time. That was a spella normal Blessing spell! Hes got Repulsion Aura!

Probably got it from his devil, Radatina added, thats a much more rare and potent spell than the others hes been using. Sorry we couldnt detect it until it was actually triggered, but now we know! That will repel any projectiles or spells fired at him.

The spell thing is redundant with his Void gift, but good to know, Yoshi wheezed.

Ah, Radatina explained that to you, good.

He gave me a strange look. What? Why would she need to? I figured that out as soon as my first Force Bolt fizzled. Havent you ever seen an anti-magic field before?

Shut the fuck up, you little nerd. Fine, listen, I know what we need to do now. Can you keep him occupied for a few minutes?

So your new plan is the same as the old plan? he exclaimed in loud exasperation.

Nonsense, that wasnt the plan, its just what we ended up doing. Now were doing it for a reason instead of scrabbling around like idiots!

So the old plan was to scrabble around like idiots? Youre the Dark Lord! Arent you supposed to be good at making schemes and plots?

Sure I am, and sometimes they even work!

Sometimes?

Id say one out of What do you think, Biribo, four or five?

Sounds about right, boss.

The Void witch saw the movement and turned to face him, a particularly nasty grin contorting his already-unpleasant features.

Bad move, shitstain. Your biggest mistake, and your last.

Slimeshot.

Like the Fire Lance hed hurled past me, I found it worked fine if I wasnt aiming at him, or too close. The slime impacted the ground a meter from Hoys feet and disintegrated into a spray of slimy dropletsnot dangerous to him or anyone, but sufficient to make him take a step back before he could punish the rebellious goblin.

By the time he regained his footing, three more bomb-laden slingshots were aimed at him. That was enough of a catalyst. One by one, every remaining Jadrak loyalist who still had a weapon turned it on their former leader.

Oddly enough, the perpetual rage seemed to leak away from Hoy under this threat. Instead, he actually cackled and spread his arms, one hand wide open and the other holding his bladestaff.

All right, you know what? Fucking do it, losers. You treasonous little fucks can find out just how fucking stupid you are in your last seconds. You wanna side with tallboy interlopers, you can fucking die with em!

Yoshi and I locked eyes, knowing what was coming next: Repulsion Aura. Both of us quickly sidestepped, re-positioning ourselves to be in place to

Grenades flew, and every one veered away from Hoy before striking him. It was chaos; a dozen explosives spun off in a dozen directions, half of them about to be lethally dangerous to the goblins whod launched them. That is, if not for our heroic intervention.

Force Wave!

Windburst!

Even as a few goblins shrieked and cowered back as they beheld their ammunition boomeranging at them, Yoshi and I sent the errant bombs hurtling over the ledge. Explosions tore chunks out of the edge of the stonework, gouged new craters in the floor; one sent spinning nearly straight upward knocked down a stalactite, which hammered the ledge opposite the ravine, causing part of it to crumble into the abyss.

Hoy stood with his arms spread, grinning in sadistic triumph as he stood untouched within the maelstromuntil the Hero charged right through the shrapnel at him.

Shock!

Heal!

Id seen that coming; our voices practically overlapped each other, the effect of his spell barely making Yoshi falter. Hoy only just managed to get his staff up and in place to hammer against his shield, forced back a few steps as it became a contest of brute strength. Yoshi had only been training for a few months and been some kind of teenage shut-in before, but he was also heavier than Hoy by a lot, and that counted.

Hoy retreated another step, gaining some distance. Yoshis eyes cut to the side, caught mine, and his head shifted once in an infinitesimal nod.

What? Was that a signal? A signal for what? That wasnt communication! We needed to arrange these things before

He lowered his shield, lunging forward, sword-first. It was a well-trained strike, but a move designed for use against a human opponent; at best, it would hit the top of Hoys head. And that only if he let it, because the Hero had left himself wide open in the center.

Oh. Now I got it.

The goblin grinned with insane, murderous triumph as he brought up his bladestaff in a thrust, directly through the gap in Yoshis defenses. The upper prongs sank right into his armor and through, the force of their combined weight defeating the hardened leather and chain mail.

YOSHI! screamed at least four female voices, most of which had been specifically warned not to give away their position. I couldnt help cringing myself as blood spurted. Holy shit, was this how it looked when I used this gambit? No wonder the girls were always so upset. I should probably stop doing that.

Then the Hero dropped his sword and shield.

Hunching forward over the weapon impaling him, he grabbed it in both hands right behind the blades. His face twisting in a snarl to match Hoys, Yoshi flexed his arms and pulled the blades fully out of his body with an agonized grunt. Blood sprayed, as if to emphasize what a lethal mistake that wasunless.

Heal!

And Hoy found himself holding a tiger by the tail. Being the stubborn, rage-driven, petty little shit that he was, he of course did the unwise thing and refused to let go. Had he been willing to relinquish his weapon the way Yoshi had and fire off a spell, the outcome would have been very different.

But he wasnt, and Yoshi planted his feet, twisted his hips, and let out a roar of pure adrenaline-fueled exertion as he whipped the staff fully over his head, pivoting mid-swingwith Hoy still clinging to it the whole while. The Hero swung the Void witch overhead like a sledgehammer, turning and bringing him arcing back down.

Hoy struck the surface of the iron bridge and bounced, finally losing his grip on his staff as he was stunned by the impact. Yoshi, just for emphasis, contemptuously tossed his fancy staff into the abyss.

I let out an exhilarated whoop and Im not even embarrassed; that was the hypest shit Id seen in ages. And that, sir, is how it is done! RIZZ!

She and Rhoka were already in position, slingshots taking aim. Not at Hoy, since wed discovered that was useless. But Hoy was now lying dazed on a slender, comparatively fragile span of worked iron connecting the two ledges in the cavern.

Rizz and Rhoka bullseyed it at both ends. Grenades tore apart iron and stone; the far end of the bridge came disconnected entirely and the near twisted apart, barely clinging on by one of its anchors. The entire structure collapsed, tumbling down into darkness and spilling the great and terrible Void witch Hoy to his doom. It was about damn time something went right for a change

F-Flicker!

Oh, fuck you.

He materialized on the far ledge in a momentary haze of blue-green lightwinded, immediately slumping to his knees, and having lost his fancy hat along with his bladestaff. But still fucking there. Alive, the insufferable little bastard.

Absolutely fucking not, I growled sotto voce. I am not having another recurring cockroach come back to ruin my day.

Slimeshot! Immolate! IMMOLATE!

Being dazed and beaten didnt shut off his Void power, apparently; I accomplished nothing except to singe his coat with a few useless puffs of sparks. Nor had we even managed to disable his defensive spell, as I observed when two goblins tried to shoot him and their grenades veered off into the darkness.

Shoot around him! called one of the goblins, reloading. The ledge, the ceiling!

They tried, bless them. Spiked bombs blew chunks out of the ledge, the walls next to itbut Hoy had struggled to his feet. Limping, but he managed to move. As explosions impacted the ceiling above him, bringing stalactites and then massive chunks of rock down, his livid green coat fluttered away down the tunnel through which hed escaped.

Everyone stopped firing as the tunnel collapsed entirely. The ledge itself broke away and crumbled into the darkness below; now the entire cavern was trembling, and to judge by the expressions of those around me I wasnt the only one nervous about it. Across from us what remained of the ceiling smashed down, sealing off what had been the main pathway into Jadraks old headquarters.

We stood in grim silence, listening to the last crashes of falling rock and feeling the faint aftershocks as the cave settled. At least the destruction wasnt spreading; they hadnt brought down the whole cavern on our heads. Just barricaded our most dangerous enemy outside it.

Biribo? I asked hopefully.

My familiar flicked his tongue out, then shook his head. He made it out, boss. Still movin out there. Looks like hes in full retreat.

I wanted to scream and kick somebody and only my need to maintain a good image prevented me. Of course. Of fucking course he got out.

Yoshi laid a hand on my shoulder. Well get him next time, Omura.

I drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly, struggling to control my own fury. All this for nothing. So many people dead, and for what? We just made him run away. Next time hell be more ready for us.

But well be more ready for him, too, he insisted. Im not saying it isnt bad, but we cant give up. He and Jadrak are only going to kill more goblins the longer theyre not stopped. And then humans, if they make it out of here. We have to press on.

Right. Youre right, of course. I just I hate it when the the really bad ones dont have the decency to die when theyre supposed to.

Yeahthat wouldve been nice.

I turned around to see the results of our battle. Our people were trickling out of their hiding places; I knew my allies and probably Yoshis would be kicking themselves for having hid during that whole fight, but it was the right call and we all knew it. There just wasnt anything they could have done against the Void witch except get fried by spellfire.

And the goblins. Twenty-five or so goblins stood there, looking lost. Theyd come here to kill mekill usbut ended up losing their own friends and allies to Hoys incompetence and malice, and now most of them owed me their lives. They were also cut off from the cause for which theyd thrown away everything just within the last few days.

Well, I said, you guys are having a hell of a day, huh?

Thatsa way to put it, a goblin woman ventured, clutching a slingshot in both hands as if for comfort.

Im gonna be straight with you: this will get worse before it gets better. Im not reckless enough to promise anybody will get through this. Youve seen how ugly a real war gets. What I will promise you is that I will never treat you the way Hoy just did. I dont throw away peoples lives. Ill protect who I can, and avenge who I cant. We are in this together, and weve got to hope theres something better waiting for us when all the blood settles.

I pausedno, to be honest, I hesitated, looking at their expressions. Confusion, grief, hope. Man, I hated how familiar this sight was by now. I hated how good Id gotten at this part.

I know you dont exactly have a choice anymore, but Ill say it anyway: you stood up for what was right when it counted, and I wont ever forget that. You stood by me, and Ill stand by you. Welcome to the Dark Crusade.