Volume 20 - CH 1

Kaede, who loves yuri, leads me to a suspicious underground auction room.

Serina is also there.

「Ahh, yeah, I've seen the newspaper, but Kirakaneski-san said, "I got it at a discount! That's what she said. Another theater critic, David Marney, wrote that it was "It's a wonderful work".」

Serina sat down next to me and told me why she had come here.

「Who is this Kirakaneski?」

I ask back, since I've never heard both of these names before.

「You don't know? She's a famous fashion leader in the fashion world. She does talk shows and plays.」

「Hmph, just an idol.」

「I wish you'd say she's model.」

It's a bit like that either way.

Another customer comes in, walks past me, and stomps on my foot.

「Oi, watch it.」

「Oh? Hmph, it's your fault for stretching your legs out so far. I mean, what the hell is with that shitty outfit?」

The guy looks at me and says that, I'm not wearing a stilettos fashion today. It's cold outside, so I'm wearing a killer bear suit. Well, I guess it's a little tough for a grown man to wear. But the best thing is to be warm, and I'm not going to compromise on that.

「Excuse me, sir. This man is the King of Vernia.」

Meena said angrily.

「Ha! What about it? I'm a board-sledding champ, and I don't give a damn who my opponent is. I only follow the rules that I set.」

「There's a difference between flattering and apologizing. If you stepped on someone's foot, why don't you apologize?」

Serina also said.

「Kehh, you're so annoying. I'm sorry. Is this okay?」

「Mumuruuhhh.」

He's a guy with a blatantly bad attitude, but well, a king wielding his power over small matters will only make things awkward. If it were an audience room in a castle, it would be more tactless to discuss etiquette in a place like this.

「Enough, Serina, if that's how he's apologized, then good.」

Courtesy is not something you impose on others, but something you show them.

It can make the other person feel better or worse. That's all.

Of course, I have no intention of getting along with such a person, and I have no intention of putting someone in a key position who might get into trouble.

「I know.」

Serina shrugged her shoulders and returned her gaze to the front, as if she thought it was a waste of time.

Just then, a man with a black hood over his head came out and banged a wooden mallet on the stage.

「Ladies and gentlemen, thanks for your patience. Welcome to the dark sales network, the Penis Auction!」 (TLN: ペニス = penisu)

「We've been waiting for you!」

「Penis! Penis!」

Though a strangely enthusiastic audience claps behind her.

「Serina, he say penis. It's a penis you know. penis.」　(TLN: the first one is ペニス = penisu, the second and third word is using chinko/po/ちんこ = same penis) 

「S-shut up. I don't care what it's called. As long as you get a good one.」

You say that, but isn't the only thing you can buy cheaply at an auction like this is stolen goods? I regretted my decision to follow Kaede. Kaede was bent over and mumbling with her eyes fixed on the floor.

「I don't care. Just get me a loli and a shota. Let me fuck them.」

She's a real pain in the ass.

「Now, before we move on to the first item, I would like to briefly explain the rules of this auction. If you would like to bid, please just shout "Up", Otherwise, All other bids are invalid.」

The reason why they do it this way is so that we can simultaneously relay the sales network from one place to another with their magic tools and offer their products to more customers.

I say more customers, but in an auction, only one person can bid, so the only one who benefits would be the seller.

「Hee~, it's like an online auction. It's very advanced.」

Serina is impressed, but it must have been invented by some another world hero anyway.

「The first item on the list is "Mada Mada", a mysterious medicine that refreshes you and removes fatigue with a pop. Just by drinking it, you can lose weight and double your ecstasy. Now, let's start with ten thousand gold!」

「Up! Up! Up! Upp!」

All at once, the guests made a call, which was mixed with a parrot-like cawing sound, but I guess that was the relay of the magic tool.

「Forty thousand! Fifty thousand! Come on, is there any more?」

「Sixty thousand! Up!」

The man who stepped on my foot earlier calls out, but even though he's dressed like a wild samurai, he seems to be quite rich.

「Upp!」

「Another venue got 70,000.」

「Tsk, Up!」

「Upp!」

「We got 90,000.」

「Damn it, ......, up!」

「Upp!」

The only person calling at this venue anymore is the wild warrior man, but the customers at other venues seem to be sticking around, and it's becoming a one-on-one battle between the two.

......, but it's strange.

The audience at the other side of the room was quick to cover their calls, and there was no hesitation at all.

However, if the customers at the other side are so rich, they may as well call the top in succession to finish the game at once. That way, the seller and the promoter can save time and effort, and that's a good thing.

「Mmmm ...... Okay, in this case, I'll sell one of my favorite red Koobo ......」

「Oi, wild warrior, wait a minute.」

「Oh? Shut up, old man. I don't have a lame name like that. I'm Oringi.」

「Oringi, just wait. I need a minute!」

I asked the organizer out loud.

「Upp!」

I knew it.

「Huuh? That's the first time you've called out in a row.」

「Oi, that was weird.」

Serina and Kaede also sensed something suspicious.

「Ahem, that call is invalid. We'll take your questions over there, so please be quiet except for calls.」

「That's right, amateurs, stay out of this. Up here!」

Good grief. The Oringi guy didn't seem to notice the trick yet.

I didn't care, I left my seat and went to the table next to where the magic tools were kept.

「Oi, stay away from that!」

A man who looked like a bouncer more than twice my size stood in front of me.

「Move!」

But I'm a leve 300+ another world hero.

I pushed it away with one hand and peeled off the black cloth.

「Upp! Upp!」

It was a birdcage, and inside was a parrot.

「Oi, look at this, Oringi. Does this look like a magic tool to you?」

「No, I think it's a parrot. Oi, what's going on? I thought you said it was connected to another venue.」

「No, it's a magical parrot.」

「You're lying. I tried to use [Appraisal] on it, but it's just a parrot.」

When Serina refused, the audience began to buzz.

「No, I [appraised] it, but it's a magic parrot!」

「Ehh?」

A customer behind me stood up and said, Is this guy in on it too?