Volume 2 - CH 4

The following day, rumors about Gabriel and Lara’s fight had already spread all throughout the town. Graffiti and music—both part of Bristol’s culture. They should be complimenting each other, not standing on opposite sides. That’s why many voices from both writers and concert halls spoke against this fight. However, the citizens steadily moved toward a stronger anti-graffiti sentiment. Back during the purge of the Bearpit, the city council was the moving force. But this time, things were different. Many held dissatisfaction and distrust toward graffiti. And some had a good right to do so, as well.

Hence, a lot of this judgment and blame fell onto Lara, who stood at the front lines. Support from graffiti writers and concert halls on one side, whereas the general public was speaking against her intentions. And that wasn’t all. The Queen Bear’s Revenge as a whole ended up in a difficult position. The more the days passed, more of their members suffered attacks from violent citizens, and there were even rumors that some people fought back. The graffiti on the walls was targeted by spray or paint bullets, too. It’s like the whole town was shrouded in an angsty and aggressive mood. In general, Bristol had very vocal inhabitants, clearly speaking against what they deemed wrong. And this time, the flawed culture just so happened to be graffiti. Amidst all that, Gabriel’s response to Lara’s declaration spoke for itself.

To Queen Bear’s Revenge—

We accept your challenge. On that day, it’ll become clear just who has the support of the citizens. And the loser will leave Bristol to never return. How does that sound?

In return, Lara’s response was just as simple.

Very well. Let the war begin—

That was all it said in the blog, and yet each and every single reader knew what she was referring to. Graffiti or music? Everyone in town was discussing that, too. And I myself stood on an extremely complicated stage. I don’t agree that graffiti should be removed from this town. However, I’m currently pairing with the music, as I am a member of [New Announcement]. And if [New Announcement] were to lose, what will happen to me?

The members of the band have been kept secret so far. The plan was to do the unveiling on Christmas the day itself. However, I still have to go up on the stage to play. Saying that I was forced into this and that I’m unrelated won’t cut it. And the ones who aren’t chosen by the public will have to leave Bristol and never return. The details in regard to that were never made clear. So, there was no guarantee I’d actually lose my place here in Bristol. But thinking about it, even in the field of graffiti, there were no accurate parameters to decide which work was harder to write, or which looked objectively better. And yet, despite its vagueness, if the citizens…if the community makes its decision, there’s no reverting it.

And I also remembered the violent actions toward the graffiti writers in this town that had become numerous lately. It’s not just someone else’s problem anymore. I could see myself just stopping my year abroad to then return to Japan. For the first time since my arrival, I was genuinely scared of Bristol. And even despite all of that, the only thing that was consistently on my mind—was her face. I still haven’t talked with Boudicia since that day. And since she hasn’t come to the 8-Bit World at all, I haven’t even seen her. Will everything just end…like this? Sure, everything might return to how things were before. Normally, I wouldn’t have ever come to Bristol.

So, I’ll just go back to Japan, and play the guitar with Nelina. In a sense, my reason for coming to Bristol may have been wrong anyway. But even as I was unable to come up with my answer, the rehearsals at [New Announcement] continued. After I finished the guitar part for the tracks, Gabriel brought Nelina, JF, and me together for practice. His songs felt like a minute clock. The small components and parts came together, ticking as time progressed, creating a stable rhythm in the process. And Gabriel’s singing plus piano matched that with its violent tone.

Compared to that, JF’s DJ work was much more serene. Gabriel’s songs didn’t bother caring about the people who listened. What mattered was the beauty of it, or the lack thereof. Contrary, JF wanted his music to reach other people. It’s like he was brewing coffee. He carefully measured the amount, and progressed within the time frame, carefully brewing it. All of that was done accordingly, but the final goal was still to have the person drinking the coffee enjoy themselves. This care, warmth, and kindness are what became apparent in his music.

Surprisingly enough, Nelina had changed quite a bit. Her voice was translucent but at the same time thick and strong, only to then slowly and minutely change into a sharp and tasteful high tone. Gabriel was right when he said I’d see for myself at the practice. I don’t know this person who can create such a voice. Honestly speaking, I didn’t see my guitar being of any need in this music. The guitar is far from a correct musical instrument. It creates twisted noise, and if I press on the strings, it corrupts the pitch. Compared to the sound that was created inside a computer, clean and proper, it felt rough and dirty.

When I asked Gabriel about that, he once again said that the most important part is the question. I asked if it wasn’t better to remove the guitar from this music, but that apparently wasn’t a good question. Now that I’m allowed to participate in this band, and told to play here, then the correct question would be: Why is the guitar necessary here? Gabriel called it something fervent that only the guitar can create. Correctness, ideals, purity, but also sadness that it can’t go that way…Wanting to be something, but unable to achieve that…like it was destiny. If so…

I used the fuzz effect and deeply twisted the sounds of my guitar to the utmost limit. Through this, the tone of the guitar can turn into a wind instrument, like a saxophone, as it creates long notes. I matched with the root music of black musicians that Gabriel explicitly paid attention to while adding noises that only the guitar could make. Just by touching the strings a bit, the electric waves reached the speakers to create almost an explosive noise. The vibrations hit you right in the face.

Hearing this for the first time, Gabriel’s eyebrow moved up once, but he never touched upon it again, and we just kept on practicing the other songs. But, since Gabriel was generally very sparse with his expressions, even that faint movement could be immense affirmation in a way. And yet, it tore me apart. Each time a rehearsal ended, when I should be feeling happy that the distance between us closed for a bit, it was like my chest was being grabbed. Which side…am I supposed to take? Is it really the correct choice for me to follow my music? This feeling of discomfort continued to grow inside of me, when—

A message came in. From Lara, no less. It said that [Z] appeared. Once the rehearsal of that day ended, I quickly rushed to the Bearpit. I could see her trademark beryl green shake from a distance.

“Lara-san, I heard [Z] was active again?”

When Lara turned around, I could see the graffiti behind her at the same time—That’s right, it was graffiti. In the center, I could see the familiar lighting, so I figured this must be [Z]’s work. The shape is the exact same as we were used to. However, this lighting wasn’t created using a high-pressure washer. Rather, it was written on the wall with silver spray paint. And around that were several letters, which seemed unarranged and nonsensical before, but upon closer look, it was a sentence. The thick letters were written in red, then turning green to go vertical, changing to purple, and blue, as they received graduation, and finally ending in a white flame. And the message written on there said: Graffiti is over.

The message written there was definitely created by a graffiti writer. And it was of high quality, too. You could almost feel the animosity from it.

“Yoshi, you’re here. Well…it’s just as you can see,” Lara muttered as she looked up at the graffiti.

I still struggled to believe it…That [Z] is a graffiti writer.

“This is…just normal graffiti, right?”

“Yes, that it is…”

Her voice grew weaker by the end until her body tipped sideways. I barely managed to reach my hands and stop her fall. Realizing how light and fragile her body was, I was shocked.

“Are you okay?”

Lara quickly regained her balance, rubbing her eyes.

“I’m just running low on sleep. For this year’s Christmas, I have to prepare quite a lot, after all.”

Looking at her pale face, it couldn’t just be her running low on sleep, but she clearly wouldn’t let me press her on that.

“More importantly, did you meet Boo?”

When her name popped up, I could feel my body growing tense.

“…No. Why?”

“I contacted her, but got no response.”

“I haven’t met her myself.”

We haven’t even run into each other since that incident. And since she didn’t respond to Lara’s message either, I grew worried.

“…I don’t like where this is going.” She must have seen how worried I looked because she spoke up. “Graffiti is slowly turning into vandalism in the eyes of the citizens. But we need something definitive to turn that around and raise our evaluation.”

Something definitive…I immediately thought Boudicia’s…of the graffiti the Ghost of Bristol created.

“The graffiti in the art museum changed the flow of the town. Everyone’s waiting for the Ghost to act. And many writers would be on board if the Ghost joined our cause.”

It’s true. That day, everything changed. Here I’m allowed everything all of the time. This message alone changed the tide greatly. Everyone who had felt oppressed and rejected must have been…saved by this. But now, Boudicia is nowhere to be seen.

“And yet…I can’t tell Boo to write.”

“Lara-san…”

“She could finally write again…Saying she’d only write for her own sake. And I understand the weight on her left hand must be immense because of that.”

Learning that Lara was thinking the same thing as me, I felt relieved. That I’m not the only one who is aware of Boudicia’s problems. And that should be a good thing for her.

“Since I’m not getting a response, she must not be prepared yet. Her feelings, I mean…But, I can’t just rely on Boo. I have to fight myself.”

Surely, that was the correct decision. But could Lara’s fragile shoulders…really carry the weight that fell from Boudicia’s left hand? I didn’t respond and looked up at the graffiti when Peni stepped outside the green bus. But, JF was nowhere to be seen.

“Ah, Peni-san.”

“I had no idea that [Z] was a writer. What…what betrayal! Who did this?!”

[Z] is someone who can write graffiti. That possibility wasn’t something we hadn’t considered, but with the revelation hitting us in the face like this, it was more than shocking. Peni cursed some more at [Z] when he eventually dropped his shoulders.

“Graffiti is being hurt more and more…People are bad-mouthing the Captain…and I don’t know what to do…”

Queen Bear’s Revenge—The graffiti culture that was protected by Lara, Peni, JF, and Boudicia—was almost struck down by the ax of the police. And this time, it was decaying because of sickness from within. It’s like their immunity was being eaten up, as allergies and diseases came crawling in. How could this have happened?

“Is this really [Z]’s work?” I asked.

This graffiti is different from what happened before. It wasn’t a reverse graffiti, but a forward one…Well, I don’t know if that term exists, but I didn’t understand the reason why [Z] suddenly changed his methods. In fact, it would probably be easy to imagine that someone other than [Z] did this. Even I could tell that this was genuine graffiti, written with clear passion behind it. I don’t know what emotions the writer packed into their words of “Graffiti is over,” but the way the flames were created, it wasn’t anything lackluster.

“There’s no mistaking it,” Lara declared without hesitation. “Whatever the case, I have to overwrite this. Really, what a pain…”

“What do you…?”

Does she…already know who [Z] is? Lara grabbed a ladder from the corner of the plaza, climbed up on it, and began spraying the spray paint from the top. I thought she’d just put completely new graffiti over it, but Lara didn’t do that. She didn’t just fill the entire wall but instead turned the lighting and burning letters into a painting. Watching over this for a while, I could finally see what she was drawing—A flower. Pink, green, and purple…More and more flowers came sprouting from the wall that was ripped to shreds by the lighting. I see, this is one way of doing it.

The scenery I witnessed was different from the graffiti battle I had always envisioned. It wasn’t a battle to the death like you both held knives at each other’s throats. Lara is always brave, proudly carrying the name of the Captain. And her determination to not give up was worthy of carrying the Pirates under her banner. But, that’s not just it. She stood up, raised her voice, and fought…to protect something.

I could hear the sound of spray paint gushing out of the can, like a breeze running along the prairie. And during that interval, it felt like I could hear Lara’s words. “We have to fight what stands in our way. However, we aren’t the enemy. Isn’t that right? It’ll be fine.”

I gasped. As Lara continued to move the spray can, it felt like I could see [Z]’s real face for a moment. Of course, that was just my intuition. I don’t have enough proof yet, and I haven’t fully organized my thoughts. But, if that was the case, then…

“Look, someone’s writing graffiti again.”

An unfamiliar voice interrupted my thoughts. Turning around, I saw a group of three presumably university students, passing by the Bearpit as they pointed at Lara.

“Isn’t that someone from Queen Bear’s Revenge? Her hair color is something else.”

“So then she’s the root of all evil, right?”

“Stop sullying our town!”

“Bristol doesn’t belong to you!”

I didn’t miss the split second when Lara’s expression grew twisted—I want to live here. I was reminded of her words when everything clicked. Boudicia wrote for her own sake. Nelina is the same. She sings to obtain the things she wants. Gabriel is creating music to bring life to the beauty and righteousness he believed in. However, Lara never once wrote for her own good. She didn’t ever say that Bristol is ours. No, we are Bristol, she said. She never wrote to make this place her own. She wanted to make it a better place. To ensure that flowers would grow from the tree that was struck by lighting. To make sure she could live in Bristol.

…But, for whose sake did I make my music? Nelina and Gabriel may have been right after all. That I have no soul…that I’m empty. But, that didn’t mean I could forgive that.

“Please stop.”

I subconsciously moved before the group of three. They apparently didn’t expect me to speak up, as they seemed flustered for a moment. However, this only lasted for a moment.

“Don’t go teaming up now, you nasty writers.”

“I’m not a writer. But…I’m sure you must have something you’re passionate about, right? Something you love more than anything else.”

I won’t argue that graffiti is always correct. However, the feelings of caring for someone else and putting them into shape…are not wrong.

“Huh? You’re a criminal, what are you acting all cool now.”

“You just don’t get it!” Peni, who had been listening in silence as he bit his lip, now joined me.

“Yikes, look at him.”

“Go film this!”

“Call the police right now.”

“You don’t know how desperate the Captain is…how much she cares for this town…You don’t know a damn thing, so don’t talk like you’re some know-it-alls!” Peni howled.

“Sh-Shut up! You should get locked up!”

One of the people was overwhelmed by rage and anger, taking out a plastic bottle from his backpack and throwing it. I could see this bottle flying through the air in slow motion. Heavy, as it was filled with water, it slammed into the leg of the ladder.

“Ah…” A faint voice that didn’t even turn into a scream escaped Lara’s lips.

The ladder tipped.

“Captain!”

Peni started running and reached for Lara with his hands. However, he didn’t make it in time. Her bluish-green hair danced in the air, as only her head fell down. The ladder crashed into the ground and created a loud sound. So oppressively loud, it drowned out Lara slamming down shortly after.

“Lara-san!”

I quickly ran over to her, trying to raise her body—When I felt something wet on my hands. I looked down, but all I could see was red. At first, I thought it was spray paint. But in the end, it was just the bare minimum effort to run away from the reality that unfolded in front of me. There’s no way the paint would end up on my hands like this.

“Lara-san…Lara-san!”

No response came. I shook her shoulders, even though I knew I shouldn’t, but my knowledge wasn’t helping me much right now. I looked around, spotting Peni screaming something into a phone. The other citizens had long vanished. Nobody was here to help. Unable to do anything, I just gazed into Lara’s eyes. They were open, reflecting the Bristol sky within them.

*

The UK has a system called the NHS—The National Health Service. All citizens receive free medical treatment. It was the ideal system, in a way. However, society always shapes the ideal as reality changes. And with this free service, the patients filled the hospital, and even calling a GP—a General Practitioner—for a reservation could take weeks or even a month. Especially now that we were nearing the end of the year. That’s why the ambulance doesn’t immediately come running here in the UK.

I didn’t know how much time had passed since Peni screamed into the phone. Each passing second, each minute the ambulance hadn’t come, felt like an hour. Eventually, they arrived to take Lara into their yellow and green car and drive off. As Peni joined Lara inside, I was left behind, sitting on my knees. I wanted to put my hands on the ground to push myself up, only to realize my hands were red from the blood. It had dried now, not going off no matter how much I rubbed. On staggering feet, I returned to my dorm, closed the door, and washed my hands in the bathroom.

Crimson red water ran down the otherwise white sink, slowly turning into a faint pink. It reminded me of the flower Lara had drawn. Peni contacted me the next day. And honestly, I didn’t even remember what I did until that phone call came. I just carried my legs to the hospital. Excluding my initial visit for the papers, this was my first time coming to the hospital in Bristol, so I was relieved to see Peni waiting for me at the front. I followed him and entered the hospital room. On the way, I saw the sign on the outside of the door, stating “Major Treatment,” which made my body stiffen up. Then, we reached the bed on which Lara was laying.

The hospital room itself was a bit messy, but it wasn’t too different from what I was used to in Japan. There was a gauze next to Lara’s forehead, but other than that, she slept peacefully. But because her face was so pale, I even worried if she was still breathing.

“Since she hit her head, they’ll be doing the tests after this…but she doesn’t seem to be in any imminent danger,” Peni said and sat down next to the bed.

The small stool screamed in agony as it tried to deal with Peni’s weight.

“Is…that so. Thank god.” I sighed in relief, and then looked at Lara again.

Seeing her sleep on the bed, the first thing that came to her mind was the fact she was still a young girl. I was always taken aback by her pressure and presence, but now I realized that such a tender girl carried the weight of Bristol’s graffiti.

“She’s sleeping right now. I think it’s more because of how tired she was than any injury.”

“Then I’ll be leaving again. I just wanted to check on her once.”

Right as I turned my back toward the bed, I heard stomping footsteps, and a familiar face came storming inside the room.

“Lara! You okay?!”

“Boo-san.”

“Ah…Yoshi.”

We ended up closer than we expected, so we awkwardly averted our faces.

“Mm…Yoshi, Boo. You came?”

I heard a weak voice, to which I turned around, seeing Lara raise her heavy body. Her bluish-green hair fell down onto her shoulders. This was the first time I saw her with her hair undone.

“I’m sorry. We didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“Are you okay?!”

“Yes. Though the inside of my head feels like the Wills Memorial Building’s bell is ringing.”

“You’re clearly not okay!”

She wasn’t acting like you normally would around an injured person, but that just showed how worried she was.

“I’m sorry that I made you worry.”

“Captain…I thought you were gonna die…”

“Haha, I won’t die even if you cut off my head. There are still many more things I have to do.”

Peni looked close to breaking out in tears. Lara’s response was weak and fragile, but deep down, her determination hadn’t wavered.

“Captain.”

The next person who showed up in the room was a tall man with a beard. His expression made it seem like the end of the world was upon us.

“JF-san…”

Right as I called out to him, Boudicia was fuming.

“How dare you come here.” She moved toward him, boiling with anger but calmly nonetheless. “Say something, you giraffe bastard.”

That’s right, Boudicia must have realized…And so did Lara, probably.

“JF-san…You are [Z], right?”

I heard a rummaging sound. Turning over, I saw Peni fall off his stool.

“Yoshi, I really like you, but there are some things you can’t say! There’s no way that JF is the one who did this! Right, Captain?!” Peni jumped up and closed in on me, then glanced at Lara.

However, she looked away and didn’t say a thing. That attitude alone spoke more than enough.

“That…That has to be a lie! JF, you couldn’t have betrayed us, right?!”

JF sighed once and closed his eyes. Then, as if he made up his determination, he opened them again.

“No, it’s the truth. I’m [Z].”

“Why?! We were always together!”

“…I just never told you. I’m part of Gabriel’s band,” he said and glanced at me.

“Wha…”

“And I’ll take Gabriel’s side. We’re over, Peni.”

“But…we joined the Captain’s crew together…And you said that we should start a restaurant…because my burrito was so good…and when the police came, we tried to protect the Bearpit together!” Peni closed in on JF. “Without your coffee…How could I sell my burritos from now on…?!”

“…Hell do I know. It’s not my problem anymore.”

“But!”

The one who interrupted their exchange was none other than Lara.

“…JF, are you serious about this?”

“Yeah, Captain. It’s the end of the line. Graffiti is over. To me, as well as to this city.” JF continued. “I realized that Gabriel is right and graffiti is wrong. Writing on the city’s walls is madness. Think about it. Public places, even other people’s buildings, don’t belong to us, yet we continue to write. We can’t hurt them just as we please. And once I realized that, it was all easy.”

Nobody could return a word. Not because we had nothing to say. Rather, it was utterly unbelievable that these words came from someone like JF. And then…

“That’s why you erased our graffiti?”

“Yeah. That’s right. It’s punishment!”

Only Lara looked straight at JF.

“See you guys never. I’m done spending time with barbaric folks like you.” JF headed for the door, his sneakers squeaking.

“If that’s all that you want to say…” The one who called out to him once more was Lara. “Then…why did you write that graffiti?”

JF’s legs stopped. And Lara continued.

“If you truly believe that graffiti is wrong. That’s over for us. Then…” She didn’t give JF a chance to say anything, continuously putting pressure. “…Why did you write that graffiti?”

JF’s movement stopped completely. And then, he turned around. It was impossible for me to unravel the countless emotions that filled his expression. But it all mixed to create one impression—Pain.

“…I’m always half-baked when it comes to everything. Be it music or graffiti, I never put my life on the line for it. I kept making excuses that, even if one came crashing down, I could always fall back on the other. But now, I saw this as a chance. A moment that forced me to pick one side.” He formed a fist, grasping the shirt he was wearing.

Almost like he wanted to suppress the pain his chest experienced.

“I decided to go with music, and opted out of graffiti…But, I wanted to go all out at least once.”

“Then you should have told me…”

“I…! I wanted to have a serious match with you!”

His calm voice had wandered off somewhere, changing into a pleading scream.

“I always admired you, Captain. And you gotta be serious. Otherwise, I can never give up. If I can’t say I clashed with you at least once…Then I can’t take a step forward! Even…Even if I just lose in the end!”

Art never lies. I don’t know much about graffiti still, but it’s the case with music. Even if you try to keep it secret, the feelings you stored away in the depths of your work, it always shines through. So, even if he asked Lara for a duel with all her might, there’s a good chance that she subconsciously would have held back for his sake.

“That’s why I pretended to be [Z], hurting all the graffiti in the city. While aiming for our crew’s graffiti in particular. Because I knew you’d move, then. No, you would have to. So if I were to challenge you to a graffiti battle under the pseudonym of [Z], you would definitely take me seriously. Even if you were aware that it was me.”

“Why did you have to go that far?! It makes no sense! The Captain almost died!”

“I never expected you to understand.”

“JF! Are you really okay with this?!”

“Shut up! Graffiti is over! I’m not one of your allies anymore!”

“…Come here.”

As the silence grew unbearable in the room, Lara’s voice acted like a ray shining through the curtains. JF thought for a moment and then stood next to Lara’s bed.

“Have a seat.”

JF bent his tall body and sat down on the stool Lara pointed at.

“Look at me.”

After a moment’s hesitation, JF raised his head.

“I had no idea it was you. Not until I saw that graffiti.” Lara looked straight at JF. “But…” She leaned forward, opening her arms. “It’s okay. You don’t have to blame yourself like that.”

I could see the exact moment the ice began to melt. And the melted ice then turned into tears that fell to the ground.

“Ugh…I…I…”

Lara’s arms wrapped around JF, gently rubbing his head.

“I’m a writer, so…If I was seen with Gabriel, then Queen Bear’s Revenge would suffer. That’s why I thought I needed to quit quickly…But I couldn’t bring myself to, so…I wanted to write one last graffiti at the very end…”

“Haha, you’re as clumsy as always,” Lara’s voice was gentle like she accepted all sin.

“I thought that, once everything was over, it’d be okay if I was the only one…But…I didn’t want things to escalate like this…”

I remembered what JF told me before. I had to choose who to side with. Ruining the graffiti of the comrades he’s been with all this time must have required tremendous determination. Because doing that far would mean he could never return to this side. That this was his turning point. And if he hadn’t cornered himself this much, he probably would not have been able to make that decision. I don’t know if that was the right choice or not. But at the very least, JF made a decision. But what about me? Whose side will I take? And how should I proceed? Could I…really make a decision?

“JF…Now that things have gotten this far, I cannot leave you with Queen Bear’s Revenge, understand?” Lara placed one hand on JF’s body as she slowly moved away.

“…I was prepared for that from the start.”

“Just like you said, you’re risking everyone’s safety if you were to come and go as you pleased. But…you’re serious about your music, too, right?”

JF silently nodded.

“Then…as your Captain, I must banish you from our crew. You are no longer a member of Queen Bear’s Revenge.”

“Aye aye, Captain.”

“And once everything is over…Come back, okay?” Lara said and embraced JF once more.

Like a broken dam, like a child that was scolded by its parents, JF broke down crying. And so did Peni next to them. It almost looked like they were a family, as they all hugged each other. Lara then glanced at me, giving me a wink. Unlike her usual prowess and energy, she showed me another kind of gentle strength.

*

Shortly after, we left the hospital. Now that December had arrived, Bristol had gotten worryingly cold at night. The breath leaving my mouth was white, melting into the sky.

“Boo-san, you knew that JF was [Z]?”

Without anywhere in particular to go, we just walked next to each other, when I asked that question.

“I figured it out when I saw his graffiti. Just like Lara, probably. And that’s why she tried to earnestly overwrite it…Dang it, all of them are so uptight.”

I realized I hadn’t heard her voice for a long time. I even doubted for a moment if it really was her. Looking over at her, the breath leaving her mouth was just as white as mine. It made me realize that we really walked next to each other. After we hadn’t talked for so long, I thought we’d grown more distant, but now that we’re together like this, it was almost like there was never any pause.

“JF-san really loves graffiti, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah…You’re right.”

“It made me think. If I could face my music with the same vigor as him.”

JF and I stand on the same stage. Lara and Gabriel…Since we decided to be part of the band, we have to decide on which side we stand. Though, since JF is a proper writer himself, he must have it a lot harder than me. And even so, he decided. He hurt his own allies’ works, challenged his own respected Captain, and chose to stand with the music. And still, Lara told him to come back. However, there’s something even more troublesome than that. Because the loser will have to leave the town. It was the rule of these Christmas Wars. If so…if [New Announcement] were to win, then there was no graffiti crew to come back to. Even so, JF nodded. And once that day comes, they’ll fight with everything they have.

It already surpassed the question of siding with graffiti or music, and deciding who was the winner. It meant to stay true to your soul until it burned out. They all knew that this was what mattered the most. Results were nothing but results. But…I can’t reach that same place. I stand in the middle between these two extremes. I understand what Lara is saying, but I don’t think that Gabriel is in the wrong. I don’t agree that all graffiti should vanish, but I can’t cast aside the music I’ve played all this time—And then there’s Boudicia and Nelina.

I thought that far, only to shake my head to erase their images from my mind. This wasn’t the problem. This wasn’t the focus. It shouldn’t be. Or…is it?

“…Boo-san, what are you doing on Christmas?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Well…Lara-san wished for you to write, so I was wondering.”

I tried to stop my thought process and asked Boudicia instead. She will have to make a choice, too. And I wanted to hear her answer.

“Aw, geez. That’s what you meant.”

“Well, I was just curious.”

Her odd response had me wondering what exactly she expected, but I ignored that. I just needed to know what answer she should bring.

“…She never thinks, huh? She doesn’t consider that she can’t do it, or that it’s too much for her.”

“She reached her limit, surely. I’m glad she got to rest up, even though the circumstances aren’t what I wished them to be.”

She stood at the front lines, under the full assault of all the blame, and continued to overwrite despite that. Eventually, she encountered an accident and barely made it through it unscathed. Surely, she’ll continue to write after this. Because she said she wanted to live here. And yet, she almost died in this city. Not to mention that her fight isn’t over…No, it hadn’t even begun. Without the Captain on Christmas, Queen Bear’s Revenge won’t act. Lara’s fate is still within stormy weather.

“…I should have helped her. She’s been cornered to such a level because I didn’t do a thing.”

“Boo-san…”

“But, my left hand still isn’t perfect. I don’t see me winning at all. And if…if I write and her crew loses…how should I even face Lara after that?” Boudicia stopped in her tracks, looking at her left hand.

Seeing her like that, I gasped. While I was doing nothing at all, she had already made up her mind. She will write for the sake of Bristol. And this is what would equal writing for herself now. That wasn’t even the problem any longer. Rather, was she strong enough to carry Bristol’s graffiti with her own left hand? And did she have the courage to see the end? The reason her cheeks turned red and nose scuffy probably wasn’t just because of the cold. I remembered her first left-handed graffiti, which was sliced to pieces by [Z]. And she said it mattered so much because I watched.

If I accepted and believed in these words…then is there something that I could do to help her? Maybe…I could quit playing music? And I’ll stay by her side as she writes graffiti. We’d enter the same boat. Is there… a possible future like that? I reached for Boudicia’s quivering left hand with my own.

“Ah, look!”

That moment, Boudicia’s head shot up.

“It’s a Christmas market! Let’s go, let’s go!” Boudicia started running as she turned toward me.

I looked at my hand, still mid-air, and showed a wry smile. This isn’t good. I shouldn’t rely on her left hand like this. Funny enough, Boudicia seemed like she had forgotten about everything we talked about and just looked around the Christmas market in awe. What she carried was already heavy enough. And I cannot be the support to carry even half of that. So at least, I should handle my own fate and deal with my own problems.

I dashed after Boudicia and entered the Christmas market, which seemed to possess the strength to warm my heart. The stalls all shone brightly with Christmas lights. They all sold Christmas goods wherever you looked, even going so far as to offer soap or bread.

“I’m feeling hungry. I wanna eat something.” Boudicia said and pointed at a billboard that said ‘Churros.’

“So you eat food other than meat?”

“Don’t go talking like I’m some wild animal!

Seeing her innocent expression, all the worries filling my mind suddenly were blown away. But then I remembered her vape, and how it had a vanilla taste, so maybe she was into sweet stuff, too. We each bought a portion of churros and ate them as we walked. When I looked over at her, she had white powder stuck to her mouth, which made me burst out laughing.

“You have sugar stuck to your mouth.”

“Mm!”

Boudicia frantically wiped her mouth with her hoodie’s sleeve. Naturally, this made the sleeve turn white instead. Yet, she continued to eat, so I looked after her clothes. She was like a small child that needed a lot of attention. And with our shoulders next to each other, we continued to walk through the market.

“I’ve never seen something like this in Japan. It feels like…the real deal.”

“But you guys have Christmas too, right?”

“Well…It’s similar to this, but…it feels a lot more fabricated.”

I remembered the LED lights of white and green everywhere. Unlike the clean and proper feeling of Japan’s lights, the decorations in Bristol felt more familial.

“So, is Santa Claus visiting you guys, too?”

“Sure does. I got a present, too, although I don’t remember what it was. It was probably some game.”

“You were a child before? That’s so weird.”

“Everybody was a child at some point. It’s not weird at all.”

“I can’t even imagine you as some small kiddo.”

“I haven’t changed much since then. Except I was a bit overweight then.”

Hearing that, Boudicia burst out laughing.

“For real? No way! Now I so wanna see that!”

“Since I spent most of my time playing games, I didn’t get much exercise. Over time, I just changed into my current shape, though. How was Christmas for you, Boo-san?”

“Mm…My parents were always busy. Mom was a professor over at Bristol University, and it was all research here, research there with her.”

Oh, huh. I had no idea. That’s an unexpected connection.

“Wait, is she still teaching now? Maybe I got her in one of my classes…”

“She passed away because of an accident when I was young.”

I immediately regretted asking that question.

“…I’m sorry.”

“Don’t sweat it. It’s been ages since then. That’s why I was with my grandma…But she was a teacher, too, so she was pretty strict. And everything just annoyed me, so…nothing better to do, I picked fights on the street.” Her long eyelashes hid her blue eyes. “And after Aeon taught me graffiti, that’s all I’ve been doing. Grandma just called me a criminal, and since I didn’t wanna go home, I just lived on the street.”

In my head, I could see Boudicia as a teenager. Always injured or hurt, filled with rage she was forced to bottle up, fighting random strangers…and forever alone. If I had met her during that time, would we have become friends? No, I doubt it. Back then, I was a shut-in, so I probably wouldn’t have been able to talk properly. Then again, I never would have imagined I’d spend my Christmas in Bristol like this in the far future.

But now, Boudicia is with me. It really is weird. People who had lived on opposite sides of the world now were in the same place, eating the same food. That made me think. Just where will I be next year? Will I meet someone completely new? Or—I looked at the girl standing next to me. Her blonde hair swayed in the wind, as the street light illuminated her blue and translucent eyes. Almost like she was Christmas itself.

“…That’s why…Well, I don’t really remember much about Christmas.” Boudicia stopped in her tracks, and I halted, too. “So, um…”

She stood in front of me, her expression oddly serious. The genius graffiti writer or Ghost of Bristol I knew had vanished elsewhere. Instead, she was just a single girl who was scared of being hurt or being alone. How reassuring it could be if I just forget about everything and melt into the Christmas city at night. But, I don’t have the right to accept whatever she is about to say. There is something more important than I need to tell her.

“Sorry Boo-san, but before that…I have to tell you something.”

“Mm, got it. I’m all ears,” she nodded and fixed her hoodie.

“Well, the thing is…”

The surrounding noise grew distant, as I could hear my own heart beating. Why did I…not tell her sooner? It would have been so easy if I got it over with in the beginning. Because I wouldn’t have had to betray her like this. But, it’s what I invited, so I have to say it.

“On Christmas day…”

I will be playing at [The Ark]. With Gabriel, that is—I had perfectly lined up my words, but before I could say them out loud, someone got the jump on me.

“You’ll be with Nelina, right?”

For a moment, I didn’t understand what happened. I traced Boudicia’s frozen gaze, turning around as I heard a familiar voice. I already knew who it was. But, a part of me wanted to deny it nonetheless. This can’t be possible, right?

“Nelina-san, how are you here?!”

“How? Because Nelina ran around looking for you! You didn’t respond to any messages, so we were worried. You forgot about the rehearsal, right?”

“Ah…”

My head was full of Lara and that was going on, I completely erased that from my memory. Nelina’s right, I had another rehearsal with [New Announcement] today. And this led me to curse my own foolishness.

“Nelina had a bad feeling about this. And look at that, she was right. What a shame, Stray Cat-chan. On Christmas, Yoshi will be doing a live concert with Nelina!” Her voice and body both clung to me like glue.

“Christmas? Fox, what are you talking about?”

“Boo-san, wait! You don’t understand…”

“No, it’s exactly as you think.”

Nelina wasn’t the only one standing there. These tall black and white clothes…I’ve never seen him outside the boat, and yet…

“So you are Gabriel…!”

“On Christmas day, Yoshi and I will perform at [The Ark]. Because he is my instrument. Isn’t that right?”

“Because of your provocation, Lara was…!”

Boudicia stormed toward Gabriel, grabbing his collar. Surprisingly enough, Gabriel showed no resistance, simply bending his tall back.

“I came here just as Nelina told me, but you must be Yoshi’s graffiti friend. So barbaric.”

Gabriel didn’t flinch. He just opened his arms and shrugged.

“See, Yoshi. Just like I said. Their essence is violence.”

“Huh, should I show you some true violence, then?”

Boudicia put more strength into her grip, as his body shook gently.

“And your thinking is so shallow. Do as you like. I am a weak and harmless person. However, I am also well-known. See, everyone is watching?” Gabriel muttered, to which I and Boudicia looked around.

Many people stopped in their tracks or turned around to look at us.

“They’ll start taking pictures soon if you don’t stop. And in the current situation, they’ll all think one thing—That you are a graffiti writer. And it’ll be absolutely correct. Isn’t it?” Gabriel spoke with a calm tone, knowing full well that he had the upper hand. “Are you willing to let them know? The evilness of graffiti? That graffiti is wrong?”

I don’t want to admit it…but Gabriel is right. Even if we go rampant now, it’ll worsen the position that Queen Bear’s Revenge is in.

“…Boo-san, please let go.”

“Yoshi…”

“Please.”

Boudicia kept glaring at Gabriel as she let go of his collar.

“Yoshi, is what he said true?”

“It is.”

“Why…didn’t you tell me?”

“I tried telling you! Again and again!”

That was the truth…But at the same time, it was a lie. All I did was run away. And the repercussions of my own actions now came crashing down on me.

“…Whatever.”

She took a step away from me. And yet, it felt like she had completely shut me off.

“…Wasn’t my business, to begin with. You and I…You were always on their side. Sorry to get you involved in this mess. I was an idiot.”

“Please, wait!”

Her voice sounded like singular drops of water falling into a pond, I had no way to cheer her up. Words, feelings, and thoughts, they all slipped through my hands, sucked up by the darkness. And then, Boudicia turned her back toward me.

“Bye.”

As Boudicia walked away, Gabriel called out to her.

“If you happen to know the leader of Queen Bear’s Revenge, then please tell her one thing. On Christmas, your generation will end, and my generation will begin.”

Boudicia stopped but didn’t turn around. Once she vanished fully, it was just Nelina, satisfied beyond belief, the ever-calm Gabriel, and me…whose heart was crushed into a foreign and unrecognizable shape.

“…Yoshi, I happened to find you like this, but I can’t see myself being motivated for practice. Let’s meet again at [The Ark], okay?” Gabriel disappeared into the crowd again.

I couldn’t even look after him.

“So he said! Now you’re alone again, Yoshi.” Nelina whispered into my ears, which reverberated inside my empty head. “But it’s fine. Nelina will stay with you.”

“I’m not…”

“There’s a place Nelina wants to check out. Wanna come with?”

“No. Leave me alone.”

She tried to keep her voice wet and damp, trying to satisfy me. But I just tried to put a lid on all the dark feelings about to gush out of me.

“Hmm…Oh, well. Nelina will leave you alone for today, but she’ll contact you tomorrow!”

She moved away from me much quicker than I had assumed, as she turned around. She then skipped away and disappeared into the crowd. It felt like the whole world had left me alone.