Book One Chapter Twenty Four: Cave Encounter

Book One Chapter Twenty Four: Cave Encounter

The three Bandits clutched each other in fear as Sexy Screamy Spider Lady approached them.

W-w-what should we do, boss? the little one asked.

W-we aint no low-level dirty dogs that would hit a dame, the trios leader said, drawing himself up. S-so were gonna do the only thing we can. Were gonna RUN! And, with that, the three of them took off, somehow kicking up a cloud of dust from the stone-paved road.

Well, that was a bit of an anti-climax. Sexy Screamy Spider Lady said, using half her screaming childrens faces to try and make little kissing motions at the retreating Bandits. The Chosen One ignored her, immediately moving to open up the various knapsacks and boxes surrounding the Bandits cave.

My only regret is that you had to get close enough to those brutes that they were able to breathe the same air you had, Sewer Bard said earnestly, grasping one of Sexy Screamy Spider Ladys many arms and kissing the back of her claw. It should be a crime for them to even gaze upon your beauty.

Qube didnt think much of the Bandits intelligence. The fact that they were more concerned with Sexy Screamy Spider Lady being, well, a lady, as opposed to the fact that she was a giant talking spider covered in stitched-on childrens faces that spent most of their time soundlessly screaming spoke poorly of their threat assessment abilities.New novel chapters are published on

Unless in Grease, Sexy Screamy Spider Ladies were so common that they had the word dame to refer to them. Qube made a mental note to find a library in Cobbletown and research this place more thoroughly.

Chosen One stood up, dusting off his hands. Okay, loot acquired. Lets go check out the cave. He went and stood at the caves opening.

The entrance to the Bandits cave was strange. She could see a short distance into it, but then there was some kind of black veil obscuring her vision, stopping her from being able to look deep inside. It was almost as if it were absorbing the light somehow. Some kind of defence so people couldnt just stand at the cave entrance and shoot the Bandits when they were sleeping? She would have to see if Definitely Bad Guy knew anything about protection spells.

He didnt seem worried though, so maybe it was safe?

The Chosen One was swallowed up by the dark veil as he marched into the cave. Qube felt the world stutter for a second before she walked in after him.

---

How is there a bear in here? Qube screamed as her [Lesser Shield] wrapped itself around the Chosen One.

The Chosen One didnt answer, as he was too busy rolling towards a random pillar in the middle of the cave. It wasnt a big cave, just a small grotto with a deep pool of water, some sunlight filtering in through a hole in the cave top, some mushrooms, and a giant angry bear.

Was it a talking animal companion to the three Bandits? Why had they abandoned it, then?

Hello, can you understand us? she called out to the bear, only to be ignored. Oh, right. Invisibility curse.

The giant bear swiped at the Chosen One, its claws sliding off his shield. Sexy Screamy Spider Lady pulled a bow and arrow out of her body, Sewer Bard started strumming his lute, green mana threading out, and Definitely Bad Guy summoned a giant fireball. The Chosen One rolled again as the bear lunged at him

Only to get stuck halfway inside the pillar.

It started jogging in place, trying to free itself, but the entire front half of it had somehow phased through the pillar, leaving it trapped, unable to defend itself from the party. The Chosen One stopped rolling around and sprang up, drawing his Sacred Sword.

Sexy Screamy Spider Lady, Definitely Bad Guy, lets check out your attacks, he said, stepping back.

The rest of the Forbidden Forest quests were completed without issue, the only interruptions being when the Chosen One demanded they return to the forest to rest every 8 hours for the experience boost. Definitely Bad Guy seemed unable to summon as powerful a fireball as when he had been in his Wizards Tower, leading Qube to assume that Wizards Towers were very important for full-blown Mages. Sexy Screamy Spider Lady finally calmed down after the excitement from her driving three grown men off with her pure raw sexuality, and Sewer Bard well, he was still Sewer Bard.

Although he did seem able to hear Qube some of the time, now.

Tell me, my sweet Healer, what made you want to dedicate your life to helping others? Was it your natural empathy, or was there some traumatic event that made you determined to save those in need? he asked Qube as the others fought a giant walking mushroom with teeth.

I glowed silver when they put me next to the Golden Prophecy, and I was the only Potential Companion with mana, Qube explained, as she shielded and healed the party. Sewer Bard wrinkled his forehead as he tried to hear her.

You were the only silver mana? he hazarded a guess. Thats true, I have noticed your mana is a delicate, fine silver colour. He strummed his lute, and green notes sprang forth, guiding Sexy Screamy Spider Ladys arrows to greater accuracy. I had no idea that would make you want to become a Healer! Truly your heart must be so pure to produce a silver mana He broke off, suddenly awkward, as his green mana continued to dance from his lute.

Uh, I assure you, my lady, that my green mana is not from my heart being sick, unless you count being sick with longing to see you once again with my own eyes! he said hurriedly.

Qube preferred it when he couldnt hear her.

---

Right, grinding done! the Chosen One said, throwing the last berries at an enthusiastic wood elf.

I thought we were questing? Qube said.

Yeah, grinding quests, the Chosen One failed to explain, before rooting around inside his backpack.

Looks like weve got everything we need for the Fire Temple. All right, everyone, change into your fireproof clothing, Chosen One said, tossing bundles of clothing at everyone. Qube caught hers, and had to stop herself from dancing in excitement.

She had never had new clothes before! Her entire life shed been wearing her short sleeved Healer robe. Even as a child, she had spent her years running around in her Healer outfit. Clothing was insanely expensive, and Mr Igma had only ever sold rings or bracelets. It had taken the Chosen One selling everything hed just taken out of the shops to buy everyone even the most basic of fireproof clothing, with the frost resistant clothing not available to him until hed finished the Fire Temple. Qube wasnt entirely sure why a salesperson would turn away a willing customer just because they hadnt defeated a Fire Temple.

Actually, now that she thought about it, no one had ever stolen the heart of the Fire Temple. That was the whole point of the Golden Prophecy, so why had the tailor even had such a wide variety of frost resistant clothing for sale? Given how expensive the outfits were, why would they waste such a large amount of resources creating outfits that were, by definition, only capable of being sold to one customer, and then refuse to sell it to said customer?

Qube frowned deeply as she reviewed their encounter with Cobbletowns tailor. There must be something very strange going on with them, she decided. She would have to advise the Chosen One to regard them with suspicion. Their display windows had been quite large, a heavy hint that whoever was inside the place was Evil, but Qube had thought it was simply to show off their wares.

In the future, she would not be so naive.

Think quick! the Chosen One called as he threw Qubes bundle of clothing at her. Qube flinched, and the clothing hit her face and fell to the floor.

Thats what you say before you throw people into pits! she scolded as she picked up her clothes. Can you tell Sexy Screamy Spider Lady that theres some trees over there we can change behind She blinked as she realised that Sexy Screamy Spider Lady had somehow managed to already change her outfit. Her off the shoulder chest binding had been replaced with a bright red one, and the short skirt popping in and out of her abdomen was red with a scale pattern on it. Even her brown boots had changed into very impractical looking bright red high heels, creating a dizzying display as she moved all her feet.

Looking around, everyone was already fully changed.

Oh, Ill Ill just go change by myself then, Qube said, rather primly, and quickly shuffled out of view, clutching her package.