CH 55.1

—”Boyfriend, don’t underestimate yourself or doubt your worth. You are the world to me.”

“You shouldn’t believe that there will be someone who can replace you in the future. If I lose you, I will lose the love of my life.”

After Zhang Man finished speaking, the youth held her tightly and could not speak at all.

The best way to love someone was not to tell him how much you love him nor how much you have done for him.

The most impactful way was to let him really feel how much you need him and how important he is to you.

She said that he was irreplaceable to her.

Li Wei used to think that he was just a wonderful, fortunate, fateful, first love for Zhang Man. He never thought that he would be so important to her.

This importance was like a string tied to a kite. It gave him a special connection to the world.

This importance made him understand that every decision he made affected more than him alone.

He finally understood her feelings.

She was his Man Man, who he wanted to keep close by forever and not let her be hurt in any way. She had suffered so much in order to find him these past few days.

At this moment, the youth suddenly knew how wrong he was.

He thought he should leave without saying goodbye in order not to hurt her. However, the decision he made without any regards to her was fatal.

“Man Man, I’m sorry…”

He was so filled with regret that he could not properly express his guilt and heartache. He could only caress the girl into his arms. Like this, it felt like the pain and guilt in his heart could be relieved.

Zhang Man finally breathed a sigh of relief.

She could feel that he understood her.

And that from now on, he would not make decisions behind her back. As long as he discussed everything with her, everything would be fine.

She was really tired after so many days of running around everywhere. She put her head up with a smile and rubbed the youth’s cheek with her forehead. “Okay, your punishment is to wash the dishes.”

He obediently picked up the bowls and chopsticks and went to the kitchen. Zhang Man leaned against the door to watch him.

This kind of scene was extremely homely, which made her feel safe. With him, every ordinary little thing was warm. 

Zhang Man watched the youth put two porcelain bowls into the sink and he turned on the water.

She had not seen him in days and he seemed to be clumsier. He didn’t know how to roll up his sleeves when washing dishes. The water from the tap splashed onto his sleeves and got wet.

Zhang Man smiled and shook her head. She couldn’t look any longer. She went to help him roll up his sleeves, but the youth dodged her.

“Man Man, the kitchen is not clean. Go sit on the sofa and wait for me, okay?”

He smiled when he said this to her. She could not see anything different with his expression. His hands were immersed in the foamy soap, and his sleeves covered his wrists. As he washed the bowls, he created more foam.

Zhang Man concentrated, and her suspicions rose again.

She grabbed the youth’s hand and forcefully pulled his sleeves. In the next second, her heart ached and she could hardly breathe.

On his clean and strong arms there were a bunch of different cuts. All with different shallowness and angles. Some even overlapped.

It was obvious that these were new wounds.

Some of them were covered with purple scabs, while others were open wounds, and had a bit of blood coming out.

It was really hideous.

Under what circumstances would a person hurt himself in this way?

Her heart kept falling. Her right hand that held his arm shook. She could not look at those wounds again.

She raised her head, bit her lips, and looked straight at him.

This event was so horrible that she could not control her teeth from clattering and she got goosebumps.

She couldn’t even ask.

The youth panicked and wanted to break free from her. However, Zhang Man was using all her strength. If he struggled again, he might hurt her.

After a long stalemate, Zhang Man admitted defeat first.

Who was hurting who?

There were several scars on his arm, but there was more in her heart.

She was no longer in a good mood. She let him go. She went to the living room by herself, sat down on the sofa, and held her head weakly.

Her head was pounding. The scene reappeared in her mind and would not disappear.

The empty bathroom, the white tiles, the huge mirror, the bathtub stained red with blood. And the man lying in it, pale and lifeless. He did not change much from how he looked when he was younger, and she could tell it was him immediately.

Was the hand in the bathtub covered in scars like the hand right now?

Did he try to end his life many times with a really deep cut?

Was it really like this?