CH 29

***

“Why! Why did you tell him that you want a daughter?”

Gerard felt like he had been hit in the head with a hammer by Chloe’s sharp scream. At the same time, he immediately realized how things were.

“Oh…”

He rubbed his face with his big hand.

“Why would he want to be a daughter?”

“About that, sigh…”

Gerard had given up making excuses. He felt emotional after imagining how upset his son must have been.

He didn’t want Abel to go through the same thing as him. He was confident that he was different from his parents, but reflecting on his actions, he was not much different from them. In the end, the relationship between parent and child was beyond depth. It was hopeless.

“I know you don’t love me! But why Abel? Why do you make Abel feel like he is not loved? Why the h*ll did you say that? He’s your son!”

“!”

Gerard couldn’t understand what his wife was saying. He didn’t love his wife? And he didn’t love Abel?

“Or… Is Leila’s child prettier than ours? Is that how you feel?”

“What are you talking about?!”

Gerard snapped at Chloe’s endless criticism.

She flinched. Chloe trembled at her husband’s loud voice.

Gerard felt like he had been thrown into a gutter. He had no intention of threatening his wife. His face hardened.

How did they end up in this situation? He felt dizzy because he couldn’t figure out the answer. Looking at his wife who was a mess and only cursed at him made him feel like he was falling off an endless cliff.

‘Oh, I… ruined everything again.’

The head of the Blanchett family, who valued his family above everything else, felt like everything was falling apart. He felt like he was losing his mind. He felt like revealing all of his emotional thoughts to Chloe.

He had to get away. He didn’t want to show his nasty side to his wife, ever. He always wanted to be a sweet and ideal husband for her. No, he had to be!

“My Lady… later, let’s talk about it later.”

“?”

Chloe looked at her husband with a tearful face and runny nose. What was this man saying?

“Please calm down. I’ll send for Jane.”

“…Now what are you talking about? Who wants to talk about it later?”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to talk about it when our emotions are at their peak. Let’s talk about it later. We need to not see each other for some time.”

Not seeing each other? Gerard was referring to himself. However, to Chloe, it sounded like he was blaming her.

‘Does he mean that he doesn’t want to see me anymore because I’m yelling angrily at him? Is that right?’

Gerard took a handkerchief from his breast pocket and wiped Chloe’s tears as she whispered to herself. It was affectionate, but she couldn’t feel the touch without a sense of obligation in it.

Then, he put the handkerchief in Chloe’s hand and got up to head to the door.

“Don’t go…”

Chloe tried to hold him back with a trembling voice.

“…It’s because I’m not good enough for you, My Lady. I’m… really sorry.”

Gerard stopped in front of the door and apologized to Chloe.

Creak.

“Please don’t go…”

Thud.

Chloe’s earnest plea was buried by the sound of the opening and closing door.

“Huhu, ugh… Don’t go. I’m not… Don’t leave, please…”

Chloe had cried countless times these days, but she had never cried very sorrowfully. It was as if the tears overwhelmed her body.

‘Don’t go. Please hug me. Tell me you’re sorry, that you absolutely don’t mean it that way. Please comfort me. Tell me I’m the only one you want. Please say ‘I love you’. Please love me. Please don’t go!’

Chloe scratched the floor, reciting to herself the words that couldn’t be said with her mouth. The flood of emotions was so intense that she felt like she couldn’t bear it without doing so. Only sobbing noises filled the room for a while.

***

Gerard, who wanted to solve the problem rationally, decided to go with the worst option. He didn’t know that when he left.

It only fuelled the despair, dismay and pain in Chloe.

It was Gerard’s stupidity to not know that marital relationships couldn’t always be lovely and pretty. It would have been better for Gerard to show his disastrous inner thoughts honestly.

His dispassionate rationality, which he was really proud of, was too cold for Chloe.

***

“Oh my, Chloe, what’s wrong with your face?”

Leila, who came out to send the Blanchett family off, asked in surprise.

Chloe’s face was adorned with makeup, but it was obviously swollen. Everyone pretended not to notice it, but it was obviously the effects from last night.

“It’s just… I couldn’t sleep well.”

Chloe avoided Leila’s gaze and covered her face with a fan. Leila hugged Chloe while whispering.

“Is it because of what Rennesia said?”

“…”

Chloe was pulled into an awkward embrace and agonized whether to push Leila away or not.

“I’m so sorry. I taught her not to say that kind of thing. It is my fault. You were really upset, right? Why do I keep causing things that make me feel guilty?”

“No, it’s all right.”

Chloe readily replied that she was fine upon hearing Leila’s shaking voice.

Rennesia was annoying because she made Abel sad, but on the other hand, she knew. Rennesia was not to be blamed. She was just being overly honest. If there were people to be blamed, it was the married couple who had made Abel nervous.

No, she thought the problem between her and her husband was Leila until last night.

However, that turned out to be wrong. Leila was an excuse. An excuse to put the couple’s problems to the side. An excuse to divert all of their grief and anger.

She watched her husband’s back retreat last night and realized for sure. It wasn’t that Leila wasn’t part of the problem, but the main problem was between her and her husband.

“That letter from eight years ago… I really didn’t mean it that way. I want to stay close with you for a long time. And I wanted you to get closer with the person you had a crush on… Ugh, I didn’t realize it would hurt you. I’m sorry.”

She knew. Because Leila knew Chloe as well as Chloe knew Leila.

She knew Leila’s personality, which was forward to someone she had a crush on, and she also knew that Leila really liked and genuinely cared for her. Therefore…

“I’m sorry, too.”

Chloe apologized to Leila. However, the meaning was completely different.

‘Even if it’s twisted, I never liked you as much as you liked me. I’ve always envied you for being confident, dissatisfied that you were able to make the most out of your life, and envied how you were loved by Gerard. I have always been a shadow by your side.’

She and Leila needed to be separated. Chloe had already decided not to go back to Leila anymore. She was going to avoid Leila’s letters, invitations, and requests for visits in the future.

‘Leila, please live well. I hope you are happy with your happy ending.’

Chloe finally relaxed her body and leaned into Leila’s arms.

***

Leaving Anata behind as they bid farewell, the Blanchett family and their companions embarked on their way back home. Only Chloe and Abel rode in the Blanchett family’s carriage. Gerard was riding outside under the pretext of being an escort.

It was rather fortunate for Chloe. It wasn’t just because she had no idea what kind of expression she should make when looking at him.

She also needed time to talk to Abel privately.

“Abel?”

“Mother… You don’t seem to be on good terms with Father? Were you nervous because you looked closer to Sir Moore?”

“…I’m sorry, Abel. I’m sorry. Mother didn’t know about that.”

She wanted to speak as rationally as possible, but tears kept coming with each of her words. Abel’s face changed rapidly upon hearing his mother’s disorganized voice.

“Huhu, please don’t cry. Mother…”

Chloe embraced her baby as he buried himself into her arms.

“Hmh. I’m sorry. Mother didn’t know Abel thought that way.”

“The relationship between Mother and Father, huhu… is different these days. With Uncle Herace… ukh, huhu.”

“No, Abel, Mother and Father… got married because we liked each other, and that’s how I gave birth to Abel. Mother doesn’t like Sir Moore. I only like Abel and Father.”

“Huhu, alright…”

Abel answered with a whimper.

“The same goes for Father! Father only likes Abel and Mother. Got it?”

Chloe hugged Abel tightly as he nodded. A lot of things she said felt far from the truth. However, she had to tell lies so that the child wouldn’t feel anxious.

“And not all couples love the same way, Abel. Rennesia’s parents love Rennesia their way, and Mother and Father love Abel our way.”

“Yes.”

“Yes, and as I promised yesterday… If there’s anything that breaks Abel’s heart like this, don’t hide it from Mother and let Mother know. If Abel hides his upset feelings, Mother will be so sad.”

She felt very guilty to think that her child must have been hurt by his emotionally inept parents. She had to snap back to reality for the sake of her child. She was no longer a young Lady who could cry and weep because Gerard didn’t love her.

The young Lady, who loved Gerard deeply, had died while crying last night.