CH 16

Jang Yoonsung gave me the room opposite his bedroom. The spacious and empty house was no different from the last time I saw it but the room that was prepared for me was filled with different things. Not only with the furniture I needed, but also a laptop and clothes. I didn’t know whether Jang Yoonsung particularly had an eye for those things, but the size of the clothes he chose fit me well. One thing that didn’t fit me was the price tag on the clothes. As I felt in the villa before, the people from Taewon Group had a different perspective on money.

“Hakyung.”

While I was organizing in my room, Jang Yoonsung said he would prepare dinner after quietly calling my name. He had a friendly tone as if we were already close. When I turned around, Jang Yoonsung smiled with an awkward face.

“Let’s go out for dinner.”

“Why? Didn’t you say you were preparing something?”

“But it’s your first day and I think I should treat you to something delicious.”

Jang Yoonsung definitely said he would cook something delicious for me earlier…there was no need to insist on having Jang Yoonsung’s handmade cooking so I roughly finished my organization and stood up.

As I stepped out of my room, I glanced at the kitchen, finding it in a state of mess. He seemed to have failed while cooking dishes that were unfamiliar to him. I didn’t know he might have changed but from what I remember, the Jang Yoonsung I knew was not good at cooking. At least he could cook ramen, pasta and fried rice which were good enough to eat, so when he entered the kitchen, I thought he would be cooking pasta. But looking at the kitchen, it didn’t seem he was trying to make something as simple as pasta.

It was funny to see how the person seemed different from how talented he looked. Even as I put on my shoes, I broke into a guffaw.

“What were you trying to do? Just do what you know.”

Despite the tone of mine making fun of him, Jang Yoonsung replied in a gentle voice as if he was not in a bad mood.

“Do you know what I can do?”

“You know how to make ramen.”

Jang Yoonsung didn’t miss the small implication of incompatibility. If I seemed to know anything about the past, he tried to find a gap. I didn’t care much so I answered casually and left the front door first.

When we exited Jang Yoonsung’s house and walked for a while, we reached an alley full of restaurants. We sat face to face in a quiet meat restaurant that was not very crowded. Jang Yoonsung put a cup of water in front of me and said as if he was troubled.

“I thought I could cook anything if I knew the recipe.”

Perhaps the failure was a shock to him, as he mulled it repetitively. Red meat was slapped on the grill. Jang Yoonsung muttered that it was difficult to cook while watching the meat. It must have burned.

“What do you usually eat?”

“I either eat outside or buy my meals.”

“Then continue to do that. I eat anything well.”

Jang Yoonsung didn’t answer that he would give up cooking. The prolonged silence was awkward so I held the chopsticks and put the side dishes that were served into my mouth. Jang Yoonsung didn’t lift his chopsticks and was only staring at them.

“So did you remember anything?”

In the end, I couldn’t stand the silence and opened my mouth first. Jang Yoonsung shook his head with his arms folded.

“Not yet.”

It was a memory that was buried for seven years. When I was about to be hit by the car, he probably remembered because of the shock.

If the memory came to him just like that, he would have tried to find Han Jiyoung and find out if I was Han Jiyoung. If he had a personality that held no grudges, he would have been satisfied with just finding the memories. However I didn’t think it would happen because Jang Yoonsung was persistent even though he had no recollection of that time.

“Three months is too short, no matter how much I think about it.”

Jang Yoonsung grumbled as if he was dissatisfied. I was supposed to help him but on the other hand, I couldn’t wait until Jang Yoonsung could retrieve his memories.

So I went along with the condition of a month. Jang Yoonsung said he needed at least 6 months. The agreement was reached for a duration of three months. Whatever Jang Yoonsung’s memory was, our poor relationship was scheduled to end in three months. It had been seven years because I couldn’t conclude my time properly then.

“Do you think finding your memories is a good thing?”

That question was brought up because it seemed Jang Yoonsung romanticized the memories he had lost. As I had emphasized many times, he should look forward to it because that memory wouldn’t be worth much.

However, Jang Yoonsung answered briefly with a calm expression.

“No.”

Even though he knew it wasn’t, Jang Yoonsung smiled faintly. He went on with a sour expression pulled on his face.

“There’s something that people around me hide from me. I can tell from your attitude that it’s not a good thing. So I thought I should know.”

Jang Yoonsung then straightened his back and sat properly. He still had a gorgeous face, straight shoulders and neat hands but somehow he seemed like a different person. The man, who resembled summer, spoke in a cold voice.

“I’m worse than I look.”

Jang Yoonsung looked exhausted and I couldn’t figure out what the problem was just by looking at the surface. Even if I looked with my common sense, it was the same. More than his not having his memories compared to a few months, there was more of a probability that he had recalled some memories.

Perhaps, as if I was implying that I didn’t understand, with the expression on my face, Jang Yoonsung shrugged his shoulders in disappointment and changed the conversation, saying, “Let’s eat.”

By the time we left the restaurant, it was drizzling. Even if Jang Yoonsung’s house was nearby, we were meant to get wet if we walked home. Fortunately it was not a deserted countryside. We decided to buy an umbrella at a nearby convenience store and go home. Entering the convenience store, Jang Yoonsung took a break from choosing an umbrella and glanced at the ice cream refrigerator next to him.

“Do you want to have ice cream?”

“Shall we?”

“Have you tried this?”

What Jang Yoonsung brought out was the chocolate ice cream that we ate together several times before. Seeing how that ice cream was still being produced, it seemed Jang Yoonsung and I were not the only ones who loved the bland yet sweet taste.

“Is there anyone who hasn’t tried this?”

“Really? I tried it a while ago and it was delicious.”

Jang Yoonsung added that he didn’t like ice cream much. We paid for the two ice creams and a big umbrella before leaving the store.

It was still a little chilly. Jang Yoonsung tried to unwrap the ice cream but then put it back into his bag.

“It’s still a bit cold. Let’s go home and have this.”

I nodded. Jang Yoonsung opened the big umbrella and gestured for me to come in.

“If it’s cold, you can stick close to me.”

“It’s not cold.”

“I’m saying because I’m cold.”

Jang Yoonsung came close to my shoulders. Although the umbrella was big enough, we still had to walk together to use it anyway. Everytime we walked, the bag in Jang Yoonsung’s hand rustled.

Is it really necessary for you to find those memories? I think you already remember everything you missed. 

***

I was going out in the afternoon. I decided to stop by my house and have lunch with Gunwoo. Jang Yoonsung said he didn’t care what I was up to while he was at the company, however I wanted to escape because a helper was supposed to come. It was because it would be difficult if his family knew that I was with Jang Yoonsung.

Apparently, the person who took care of the house chores seemed to work at Jang Yoonsung’s parent’s house as well and went there couple of times per week. The helper didn’t know my face but if that person came to meet me, I would have to greet myself at least with my name so I didn’t know how it might turn out. I couldn’t disclose all that to Jang Yoonsung so I said I didn’t want to be at the house with someone I didn’t know. Fortunately, as if he had understood the situation, he decided to tell me in advance when the helper would come.

-I’m running out of garbage bags at home. I keep forgetting.

“Okay, I’ll buy some. Is there anything else?”

-And…

I sent a message to ask if Gunwoo needed anything else before I went home and then Gunwoo called me once he was free. If he needed anything, or wanted to eat something…as the list grew longer, I turned my head to look for a pen.

“Wait, I’ll write it down. A memo pad…”

I remembered the memo pad and pen that I saw in Jang Yoonsung’s room while vacuuming last time. When I entered the bedroom opposite of mine, there was a memo pad on the bedside table.

“Found it, tell me again.”

Holding a pen and scribbling down what Gunwoo said, my eyes went to the small object behind the stand. It was something I recognized. Sleeping pills. When I opened the lid, as if he had taken a lot already, there were only a few left.

– …so doing…Hyung?

“Yeah?”

-Are you listening?

“Oh, yeah.”

Was this he meant when he said he was a mess? Listening to Gunwoo’s voice, I closed the lid. There was no guarantee that Jang Yoonsung’s insomnia was necessarily because of me. Even if he looked calm on the outside, he could have been burdened with other concerns. I thought of helping him, even if by a little.