Chapter 119 Emotional Conflict

"...?" With confusion, Dimitri turned and looked at Christian doubtfully.

"Like the second you heard my previous sentence... now my previous sentence is a previous sentence, and now, both are memories" Looking at the landscape in a slight daze, Christian continued whispering "I could say the same thing a minute later, and then I could say I did it again, but that's impossible because the time is gone... gone"

"Like a page that's turned, like a flower that's already wilted, like a picture that's already been taken.... Like someone you love, but her time is gone" Looking up to the sky, Christian whispers "Another year without her physically, but in my mind she doesn't know how much I love her..."

"*Sigh*" Looking at Christian, Dimitri repeated the same words he received as a child "Christian, it's not those who leave who die, it's only those who are forgotten"

Touching Christian's chest with his finger, Dimitri continued "Your sister will always be living in your heart, and as long as you remember her, she will be immortal"

Biting his lips with reddened eyes, Christian whispered "I kept thinking about this before. I really want to be at peace with that thought... but there are always events or coincidences that just get me down.... sometimes I think that the dates where parties appear in every corner everywhere, were all made to give sadness to person who can't forget a being... at birthdays, at Christmas, at carnivals, while everyone laughs, while everyone dances, I'm there remembering her"

"..."

"I am aware that she wouldn't have liked to see me like this... but today I have a lump in my throat that I cannot bear" Letting a tear fall, Christian whispers "If only... I knew a way to talk to the beyond, heaven or whatever... even for a moment, a mere minute, I would do everything possible to achieve it... just to calm this emptiness that seems to be infinite, sad and cursed"

"..."

"Sometimes it affects me to think that there is no reincarnation, that there is nothing after death and that religion lied... to think that you will never see again the who leave, that I will never be able to hug those who have died again... and even if I had that dream that I told you about, it simply scares me to think it is all a hallucination and there really is nothing more, that I will never be able to even hear her voice again or feel her warmth again"

"..."

"But you don't know how much you love those close to you until they're gone... unfortunately it's an irrefutable truth, and it won't do any good for me to scream in rage looking at the sky after I didn't value that person enough when they were by my side... that's why since that day I promised myself that I would always show my affection towards others, I would let them know how much I appreciate them at every moment so I wouldn't regret it later... but with Ashley... it's too late and that weighs too much on me... unfortunately the heart of the lady of time is made of ice and the opportunity to do so may never come again" Wiping his tears and sniffing, Christian continued whispering with pain "I really don't know how to deal with accepting this bastard reality... and although there are hundreds of drinks that can help me to face reality, I honestly don't think there is a more bitter drink than swallowing a knot tied in your throat"

"..."

"I feel melancholy just seeing sad looks of criminals... how laughable" With a self-deprecating smile, Christian whispers.

"..." With a complicated expression, Dimitri looked at the boy for a few seconds, then could stand it no longer and hugged him silently.

"But well... life goes on and I have more people to appreciate... I won't make the same mistakes twice" Hiding the sadness in his gaze, Christian sighed and spoke.

...

Returning to his cell with the sun already hidden, Christian walked with a rather low mood, then entered his cell and lay down.

"Mmmhm~" But out of nowhere, a muffled moan reached his ears, causing Christian to smile involuntarily.

"Fuck~"

Smiling, Christian gets up from the bed and walks over to the bars of the door, then pokes his mouth out and says "Agatha, I can hear your fucking moans from here!"

"Yess~"

"Tsk" Feeling that at any moment he will get hard, even more so that he has never touched himself in this life, Christian clicks his tongue in annoyance and goes back to his bed, then lies down and closes his eyes.

"Mmmhm~~!"

"*Sigh*" Knowing that the idiot just turns up the volume for him to hear, Christian sighs wearily and forces himself to sleep.

...

The next day at lunch.

"Damn bitch, you didn't let me sleep" While playing cards, Christian spoke with annoyance while looking at Agatha.

"You can always join me, my beauty" Winking cheekily at her, Agatha smiled.

"Are you forgetting I'm 14?" rolling his eyes, Christian replied.

"In many countries that age is the legal age" Quickly taking Christian's hand, Agatha smiles seductively "Besides for love there is no age requirements, what do you say?"

"There's no age requirement for two more life sentences either" Smiling sweetly, Christian replied.

"For you I'll risk the death penalty" Looking intently at Christian, Agatha smiled.

Chuckling lightly, Christian simply shook his head and withdrew his hand, then looked down at his cards and tossed them onto the table "Poker"

Looking at Christian's cards to then look at his own, Agatha frowned and said "We have to change the game-"

Agatha's words were cut off as she saw five people enter the place, but she still went about her business, she quickly put away all the cards and hid them between her breasts.

Without bothering to turn his gaze, Christian already knew who it must be, but even so, he simply stayed silent and took his tray of food and then ate slowly.

"Christian Grey, I see you're in good company" With a teasing tone, Kathia approached Christian and stood next to him "How are you? Can you sleep well?"

Leaving the spoon on the table, Christian turned his eyes and smiled "I sleep like a baby, in fact, I like to have company, so I don't feel so lonely, And you? Can you sleep after swimming in so much dirt?"

Frowning slightly, Kathia realized instantly that her plan didn't work as she had hoped. "Christian, why are you making things so difficult? Just say what that drawing means and you'll be left alone"

"I don't know what you are talking about Mrs. Kathia, they are simply drawings that a child made to pass his boredom. Now, please stop harassing me or I will have to tell my lawyer"

"Watch your tone kid" Pulling out his gun, a woman behind Christian points it at his head.

But as she drew her gun, suddenly all the inmates in the place stood up quickly, including Agatha, as they squinted at Kathia and her people.

Frowning, Kathia looked at the people in the place, then looked at Christian and said "Work for us and I'll get you out of here"

Raising his eyebrows, Christian looked at Kathia like she was stupid "You really think I'll work with a corrupt government that locked me in a cell for 8 years with 23 hours a day of solitude just for exposing corruption?"

"You really want to cut off all your chances?"

"You guys cut off all possibilities, not me, now please don't make me repeat myself. One more time and I will talk to my lawyer. I am sure many people are interested in the harassment you are committing against me"

"..." Staring at Christian in silence for a few seconds, Kathia turns and says "Don't even think about leaving this place, I'll take care of it"

"Have a good trip, watch out for robbers, they might lock you up if you defend yourself from the robbery" Smiling slightly, Christian continued eating calmly, while the inmates sat back down.

"What does she want from you?" frowning, Agatha asked.

"Information I won't give her" Shrugging, Christian commented with a smile "Now don't change the subject on me, you need to get your clothes off"

"Tsk"

...

Saturday, June 6, 2015 (One year later).

Christian spent all his time training, most of the training could be considered torture, but Christian knew that all that torture made him stronger and stronger. Instead of feeling despair, it let him feel excitement for every day spent in this place.

"Human psychology is predictable with common people. Many talk about being different, but they are the same as the millions who say the same. You have to learn to form profiles, and this will help you predict what a person will do" Pointing with his cane, Dimitri spoke seriously, while Christian listened and watched everything without blinking.

Human psychology is one of the last things for Christian to learn. He already went through weapons training, etiquette, hand-to-hand combat, knives, among many more things like learning different professions.

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"That's all for today, you can go rest. Remember you have to bring me the idea of a bomb with the basics I gave you. It has to have the ability to destroy grade 6 armored vehicles" Dimitri says looking at the setting sun.

"I have a question" Taking his notebook, Christian approaches Dimitri and says "I have problems with the connectors and the frequency signal to initiate the explosion, since you tell me that the vehicle may contain a signal receiver, causing problems with the signal from the explosive"

"That's for you to find out. I already gave you the necessary knowledge" Smiling slightly, Dimitri put his things away and left, leaving a depressed Christian looking at his drawn model of a bomb.

Thinking for a few seconds, Christian takes his notebook and leaves the place, then returns to the dining block and approaches towards a particular woman "Fariha, czy mogę zadać Ci pytanie?" (Fariha, can I ask you a question?- Polish language).

"Co tylko chcesz" (Whatever you want-Polish language) Smiling softly, Fariha answered.

Fariha Adamczyk was Al Qaeda's bomb expert. The woman is a total maniac because of her extreme religious belief, and she's even known worldwide as Bomber. But Christian managed to find his way into her heart, causing her belief to be put aside as she spoke softly with the man Christian.

She doesn't have a sad story or anything like many women around here. She just liked explosives and was recruited by the terrorist group. She was the creator of many bombs and explosives that ended up killing hundreds of people, but Christian finds her personally likable despite her crimes.

[A/N: In the continuation of the conversation they are supposed to be speaking Polish, but I will use English to avoid confusion].

Showing his notebook, Christian sat down next to Fariha and showed her his mockup "I am doing my homework and I have a mission to create a bomb for a fictitious attack. The vehicle has a signal receiver and is armored, also the installation must be between the engine, so it can't be too flashy nor too big. I have problems because of the signal receiver, what can I do?"

Looking at Christian's model in silence for a few seconds, Fariha smiles and says "It's simple, usually they would tell you not to use signals and add an automatic system with a specific counter, but I think it is very open to variables and they may notice the bomb before it explodes, that's why I recommend you use jamming and that will make it difficult for the receiver to work. It will send different data sporadically that will interfere in different channels and cause the signal receiver to fail, but I still recommend you find out what specific receiver the vehicle is using, to avoid errors"

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Edited By: Joy_a