Volume 4 - CH 69.2

Subaru comforted the crying Emilia until she fell asleep, and brought her out of the Tomb.

As usual, while everyone was shocked to see Emilia in her state and to learn that she had failed the Trial, Subaru carried her to Lewes’ house to put her to bed.

Along the way, Garfiel’s feigned cheerfulness out of consideration for the atmosphere was almost painful to watch, and Subaru could notice Lewes casting him a meaningful gaze, though he didn’t mention anything.

He overlooked the former on purpose because there was still something he had to confirm.

As for the latter, it was because Subaru already somewhat understood the meaning behind her gaze.

[Garfiel: Oy, borrow y’for a minute]

After entrusting the sleeping Emilia to Ram,  Garfiel called out to Subaru while everyone was leaving for the night. Having been expecting this, Subaru answered with a [Yeah] as he followed behind the slouching figure, heading into the forest surrounding the Sanctuary.

Subaru wasn’t sure if Garfiel was bringing him to the same spot as last time, but he could tell that Garfiel’s expression was exactly the same as back then.

With eyes blazing, Garfiel locked his glare onto Subaru.

In stark contrast to his attitude as they left the Tomb, his hostility was now plain as day.

Naturally, the first question to come out his mouth was――

[Garfiel: What d……]

[Subaru: “What did y’bastard see in the Tomb”……?]

A blue vein was about to bulge from Garfiel forehead at Subaru’s interruption when his eyes widened as he heard the exact words he was about to say.

As if taken completely off guard, Garfiel’s cutting impression fell away to an almost childish air. It was almost strange.

Immediately shaking his head at the squinting Subaru, Garfiel clicked his fangs as if to compose himself.

[Garfiel: That’s creepy as fuck, but if y’already know, that’d speed things up. Don’t try hidin’ anythin’, honest now. Y’don’t want me t’hurt ya, do ya]

[Subaru: Right. But I’m a busy guy, there’re loads of things I want to check as well. ――If I answer your questions… in exchange, will you answer some of mine?]

[Garfiel: Y’think yer in any position t’negotiate? I’m in a position t’eat y’whole, and yer in th’position t’keep tossin’ meat t’stave off gettin’ eaten. “Meegee gives up th’big bro before the lil’ bro”, as they say]

[Subaru: Of all the references you made… that might be the darkest one, you know]

Replying with a shrug, Subaru dropped his gaze and fell into silence.

Garfiel looked like he was growing impatient, but he didn’t pressure Subaru to hurry. While Subaru took a deep breath, and decided how best to answer.

[Subaru: Inside, I took the Trial. I saw my past]

[Garfiel: ――! So y’did have th’qualifications……tch. Then, yer result’s……]

[Subaru: Failed. It’s not so easy, accepting or denying your past. ……It’s the same with Emilia, I’m afraid]

Giving him half a truth and half a lie, Subaru tried to gauge Garfiel’s response.

Garfiel’s face paled when he heard that Subaru had taken the Trial, but once learned that Subaru didn’t pass, his shoulders slumped in relief.

[Subaru: Well you sure look pretty damn pleased about it]

[Garfiel: What d’y……?]

[Subaru: I was just thinking, you certainly look pretty happy to hear that Emilia failed, and the Sanctuary won’t be liberated]

Listening to Subaru’s words, Garfiel furrowed his brows and snorted as if starting to catch on. Slightly lowering his stance, he glared up at Subaru.

[Garfiel: Y’bastard, what’n yer past……’n yer Trial, what th’hell did y’hear?]

[Subaru: About the creation of the Sanctuary, and some background stuff as well. Also, about you and Lewes-san, I guess]

[Garfiel: ――! Y’know…… about, my……]

“Past?”, Garfiel was about to say, when Subaru cut him off with a shake of his head.

[Subaru: Not sure what you saw your past, but I don’t know nearly that much. Alhough, I do have an idea why you’re keeping quiet about having taken the Trial]

[Garfiel: ……Y’already know that much…]

[Subaru: Part of it’s speculation, too. You can reply with an outraged “You’re just imagining it!”, if you want]

In this world, Subaru and Garfiel have only known each other for a single day.

Most of the information he had gathered from his interactions with Garfiel were things he wasn’t supposed to have heard yet. The same goes for information about the original Lewes Meyer, sleeping in the Experimental Grounds.

Thus, Subaru was trying bypass this by conveniently making use of the Trials and Echidona’s existence.

For now, he figured that there was nothing else he could gain from this interaction with Garfiel.

So he really just wanted this conversation to be over.

But――

[Subaru: ――Say, why won’t you retake the Trials?]

[Garfiel: ――――]

In front of the silent Garfiel, Subaru asked him this question.

Hearing this, Garfiel lowered his head so as not to let Subaru see his expression.

[Subaru: You know, I can’t help but feel that your actions lack consistency. First you push Emilia to liberate the Sanctuary, and then you look all relieved when she fails. But then again, if you’re really trying to block the Sanctuary from being liberated, you’re going about it way too half-heartedly]

If he completely disregarded the consequences, Garfiel could just transform into a beast and kill Subaru and Emilia.

Naturally, his relationship with the refugees and Roswaal’s faction would plummet, but if Garfiel’s goal was truly to hinder the Sanctuary’s liberation, then this method would be both quick and reliable.

And yet, Garfiel didn’t take any actions up until the very last moment――until Subaru crossed the line by having the refugees escape the Sanctuary.

――There was still some threshold inside Garfiel’s mind that Subaru didn’t know of.

[Subaru: I was hoping I could get your help]

[Garfiel: ――Do, n’t say such stupid crap]

Hearing Subaru say this, Garfiel paused a moment before turning him down.

Looking up and shaking his head, Garfiel’s usual vigor completely gone from his face.

[Garfiel: Like y’said, our interest ain’t aligned. I won’t actively get in yer way, but I ain’t gonna help ya, either. Neutral. Yeah, neutral’s good]

[Subaru: You do realize that position doesn’t suit you at all?]

[Garfiel: It ain’t a matter of suitin’ or not. I’m just doin’ it ‘cus it’s what I have t’do]

Annoyed at saying something he wouldn’t usually say, Garfiel kicked at the ground, sweeping up a cloud of dust as he turned his back to Subaru.

[Garfiel: If that Half-Witch beats th’Trials, that’s fine by me. Once yer here, the only way yer gettin out is by passin’ the Trials. I’m aware of that. ――But whether I’m leavin’ the Sanctuary’s once it’s freed ‘s another matter]

[Subaru: …………]

[Garfiel: If yer gonna leave, go ahead’n get out. But don’t try anythin’ in here. Don’t meddle in our shit any more’n y’already have. Y’stay by that, and I ain’t gonna do anythin’]

[Subaru: Even if I told you that we need your help outside?]

[Garfiel: ……Th’things that I want, none of y’lot can give me. This’s as far as this coversation goes. Don’t try pullin’ any unnecessary stunts now]

Though he refused to listen to Subaru, Garfiel left him with those still-rational words.

Garfiel had shown his strong rejection in all their conversations up to now, but only this time, he didn’t lose his composure.

Just what was different, and what could it mean?

[Subaru: There’s a mountain of things I have to think about…… but]

Inserting his fingers into his black hair, Subaru set aside his over-complicated considerations for now.

As much as he wanted to sort them, organize them, and arrange them to arrive at some kind of answer,

[Subaru: There’s no way I could sort out all these things alone]

Should he get lost inside his labyrinth of thoughts, Natsuki Subaru would only be caught in another downward spiral. To make sure that doesn’t happen, what he needed to do now was,

[Subaru: Guess it’s time to rely on you again……]

Subaru’s thoughts turned to the only person in the world to whom he could lay bare his worries.