Volume 4, 21 [A Renewed Resolve]

Volume 4, Chapter 21 [A Renewed Resolve]

When he opened his eyes, the first thing Subaru felt was that something dusty had gotten into his mouth.

Mingling with the saliva that had accumulated in his mouth, he unconsciously touched it with the tip of his tongue―― tasting the flavor of soil and gravel, he spat it out as quickly as he could. And then, jumping up,

[Subaru: Ueggh! Pftephtoo! Weird little pebbles got in my mouth......ooueeghh]

Spitting while dusting himself off, Subaru turned his head all around, straining his eyes trying to see in the darkness.

The space that had lost its source of light was filled with frigid air――there, he remembered he was inside a Tomb which tested those who entered. And at the same time,

[Subaru: Right, I took the Trial......]

After he dashed into the Tomb, he lost consciousness and was brought into a dream world. In the past known as the first Trial――although he wasn’t sure if “past” would be the right word, Subaru faced his immutable origins, and said his final farewells to those he left behind, and, at last, finding out that all of it had been wrapped within a Witch’s palms, he was brought back here.

One by one, recalling all that had happened after he lost consciousness, Subaru confirmed that his memories were clear. To his parents inside the dream, whom he will never meet again, he had said all his apologies, his thanks, and his goodbyes.

And, in place of his tremendous nostalgia and sorrow, they had granted him courage and resolve.

[Subaru: Don’t worry. I didn’t forget. I still remember everything we said to each other]

He had worried that in the worst case his memories might have been damaged from being broken into, so it was fortunate that he still remembered everything.

Having finished checking his own body, the next thing that came to Subaru’s mind was,

[Subaru: Right......! The reason I came in here was, ―Emilia!]

Scolding himself for being so slow to come to his senses, Subaru turned back into the room――and found Emilia lying sideways on the floor, the same way as he had been.

Rushing over, her white skin and silver hair shone all the more prominently in the darkness, sensing that she was still breathing, he was washed with a wave of relief. But, it was only until he saw her expression.

[Emilia: .......h.......ah, no......stop......]

[Subaru: ――――]

Emilia’s face was twisted in agony, and sweat was emerging on her forehead.

But no matter how painful her expression had become, her body couldn’t seem to move. Her limbs remained rigid as if frozen still, and only her face revealed the colors of her suffering.

If she was going through the same type of Trial as Subaru, then,

[Subaru: It must be a past you don’t want to see......or no, it should be a past that you need to resolve, no matter what......?]

He didn’t know how much time had passed, but Emilia had entered the Tomb 30 minutes before he did. Yet even so, Subaru returned before her, which meant he could only imagine how difficult her Trial must be.

True to the literal sense of the phrase, her expression was groaning in pain.

Originally, he thought he should have faith in her, and wait for her to return safely from the Trials, but――

[Subaru: Looking at this expression, what kind of guy could say something pretty like that]

Watching the side of Emilia’s face that looked like she was about to cry, Subaru extended out a finger, hoping to ease even a small fraction of her pain. But, the moment his finger touched her cheek,ilia: ――――!]

Emilia’s previously frozen limbs began to spasm out of control. Seeing her face that was contorted by pain turning stiff, Subaru hurriedly held out his arm to support her head, and embraced the trembling Emilia tightly into his chest, without letting go.

[Subaru: Emilia!? Hey, hold on......Emilia!]

Rubbing her back as he held her close, he desperately called the trembling Emilia’s name.

The sight of her severe convulsions made his heart shrivel with horror, but, gradually, her trembling body calmed,

[Emilia: ――huu, baru?]

[Subaru: ――! Ah, aahah, yeah. Are you alright? You remember me, right? I’m the person you vowed your future life to, Natsuki Subaru]

[Emilia: I don’t, remember going that far......]

Giving her memory a jolt as she woke up, Subaru confirmed that she was conscious and that her memories weren’t muddled. As he let go of her body, Emilia’s violet eyes slowly focused onto him.

[Emilia: Um......huh? Why, am I......]

[Subaru: Take it slow, Emilia-tan. Just put the little confusing things in the back of your mind for now and take a deep breath. Then move your arms and legs a bit, see if they’re numb, and try to stand up if you think you can stand]

[Emilia: Ah, e-enn alright......]

Sensing the worry in his words as she woke, Emilia took a large deep breath as Subaru said. Then, moving her arms from her fingertips to her shoulders, she stood up with the help of Subaru’s hand, and curiously looked around in the darkness,

[Emilia: In a dark place......alone with Subaru and......]

[Subaru: When you say it like that, it does kind of sound like a tantalizing situation, although the crap location’s totally killing the mood here]

Seeing Emilia rushing to grasp the situation, Subaru scratched his face with a wry smile. In any case, the fact that it was the Tomb of a Witch pretty much ruined the mood for any lovers planning to sneak in.

But, hearing Subaru’s words, Emilia suddenly hugged her own shoulders. Seeing this reaction, Subaru shuddered to himself [Crap I might’ve overdone it......!]

[Emilia: That’s, right......I took the Trials, and then......]

[Subaru: Oh, aah, that’s right. This is inside the Witch’s Tomb. I mean, I was worried to death there. A bit after Emilia-tan went in, the lights in the Tomb suddenly went out. So I panicked and ran in after you but......]

[Emilia: a......but.....no, that, I, didn’t......I didn’t mean to, I didn’t......]

[Subaru: Emilia?]

There didn’t seem to be anything wrong with her body―― but just as Subaru wanted to continue, he noticed that Emilia’s voice was trembling, and her attitude was strange.

Hugging her own shoulders as if she was cold, her teeth were clattering as she faintly shook her head.

[Emilia: I......I didn’t......it’s not like that.....th-that kind of......I didn’t......I really didn’t......I told you it’s not like that......it’s]

[Subaru: Emilia. Wait, Emilia? Calm down, what......]

[Emilia: ......don’t...at me......with that kind of eyes......don’t, don’t don’t......don’t it’s not like that......why are... leaving me all alone......please no......]

Without hearing Subaru’s calls, Emilia covered her palms over her face and fell to the ground. Her voice carried tears, and her trembling sobs, clear as silver chimes, would drown its listeners in heartache and sorrow.

The sight of her collapsed upon the floor stunned Subaru into silence, unable to utter a single word. Except,

[Subaru: It’s alright. It’s alright. I’m here. I’m here with you. I won’t leave you alone]

Only, comforting the trembling, crying girl, protecting her, cherishing her, holding her entire body in his embrace, he kept on gently caressing her back.

All the while, as if not hearing Subaru’s voice at all, Emilia hid her face behind her palms.

[Emilia: ......help, daddy. Help, me...... Puck, Puck.......pu...ck......]

The name she kept on calling was not the boy at her side worrying over her, but the name of the Spirit who refused to show his face even while she was breaking down in tears.

[Ram: ――She’s settled down and is resting now]

Seeing Subaru looking at her with an inquisitive gaze as she came out of the room, Ram returned a gaze as if looking at a poorly trained dog, and said this.

Without even a comment about her demeaning gaze, Subaru quietly replied [Is that so]. Seeing him this way, Ram let out a small sigh,

[Ram: That face isn’t like you, Barusu. Your face is usually sloppy to begin with, but if you cast that shadow on it, it will become even less tolerable to look at]

[Subaru: Sloppy or whatever is none of your business......But, I’m sorry I got you worried]

[Ram: ......You’re just a Barusu, when did you start getting so good at noticing other people’s worries?]

Seeing Ram look as if she was genuinely surprised, Subaru stuck out his tongue and withheld his earlier gratitude for now. He had said the first half of that with his eyes squeezed shut just to blast back at Ram, but the second half had been his true feelings.

Taking his eyes off of Ram, Subaru looked behind her――at the door to the room Ram had just come out of. Beyond it, right now, Emilia must be sleeping.

[Subaru: Still, sorry this happened two days in a row, Lewes-san. It must have caused you trouble too]

[Lewes: There’s no need to worry about causing me trouble. It was because of our selfish wish that she had to take the Trials in the first place]

Turning his head around, Lewes’ even voice answered Subaru from behind.

Outside the bedroom, the room they were currently in could be considered a living room of sorts. Other than these two rooms, there was only another room for the library, and the three together made up Lewes’ home.

Subaru couldn’t help but feel that it was an awfully modest life for someone who was practically the village chief of the Sanctuary. But then again, looking at the little girl sipping on tea in the corner of the room, it was probably more than enough space for her to live in.

Anyways,

[Garfiel: Hah, look at’ya, granny, lookin’ out for ‘em. Honestly for me, all feels like “Th’presumptuous Gounzun got no place t’live”]

[Subaru: I still have absolutely no idea what feeling you’re talking about......but, at least the fact that it isn’t good got across]

Seated across from Lewes, also gulping down tea from a teacup, Garfiel bared his teeth as he said this. It was another incomprehensible idiom――but judging from the current situation, Subaru guessed it was probably something about disappointment. And, picking up the intention behind Garfiel’s words,

[Subaru: Just so you know, if you’re planning to badmouth Emilia, you’ll have to make an appointment through me first. And only if I approve it, as her Manager and all]

[Garfiel: I ain’t interested in badmouthin’ people behind their backs. Not th’kinda prick who’d do that. If I got somethin I wanna say, I say it to their face. Or I’d just use my fists, yeah?]

Waving his other hand that wasn’t holding the teacup, Garfiel brushed off Subaru’s provocation with a vicious-looking smile. That attitude didn’t reduce Subaru’s tension in the slightest, and it was at this point when the person who had stayed silent up to now――Otto, raised his hand with a [So um...]

[Otto: In that case, can I just ask what exactly happened? I honestly don’t want to get involved too much, but I would really prefer if things don’t go down this perilous direction, so I think I better act as an arbiter to help move things along]

[Subaru: Oh right, my bad. In fact, you’re perfect for the job. After all, you don’t have any deep relationships with anyone present, you barely have anything to do with what’s going on here and you’re pretty much a minor comic relief character who isn’t carrying out any responsibilities in particular at the moment. I’ll let you take it from here]

[Otto: What’s with that rock-pulverizing review!? Is that something you’re supposed to say when you’re letting someone else take over!?]

As Otto started shrieking at Subaru’s description, Subaru held a finger to his lips in a gesture to say “Not too loud”. Seeing this, Otto hurriedly closed his mouth. Still not quite settled down, he shook his head,

[Otto: Aah~, even though I’m still not ok with that, let’s move on for now. First thing I want to ask you, Natsuki-san, is what happened after you went in the Tomb?]

[Subaru: Even if you ask me what happened......]

Starting off like this, Subaru brought a hand to his chin and looked up at the ceiling.

[Emilia: N-not like that. That was really weird, ok? I, really didn’t mean to do that......because, I already decided I wouldn’t, you know]

[Subaru: Yeah you did draw it back at first, and then grabbed my hand anyway. I liked it so I won’t complain, but, are you really alright, Emilia-tan?]

Asking this question with still some lingering yearning for the fingertips that had been pulled away, he saw Emilia firmly nodding her head up and down. Her cheeks were still blushing red, but even Subaru could sense that it was no longer due to embarrassment.

However, Emilia didn’t seem to notice that there was anything strange about her,

[Emilia: I’m sorry I interrupted your conversations. But, I really don’t feel like there’s anything wrong with my body. I was a bit half-asleep before, but I’m fully awake now and fit as a fiddle]

[Subaru: It’s been a long time since I heard someone say “fit as a fiddle”]

[Emilia: Hmph, Subaru’s always like that]

After their old back and forth, as always, Emilia puffed up her cheeks pouting. Seeing her behave just the same as usual, Subaru wondered if he was simply thinking too much into it, and put aside his worries for the time being. But,

[Ram: Emilia-sama. Sorry to bring this up so soon after you have woken up, but, about the Trial.....]

[Emilia: ――h]

Even though Emilia seemed to have recovered sooner than anyone expected, the moment Ram mentioned the Trial, Emilia’s face tensed up. Subaru, who was watching her intently, noticed this momentary change, but by the next instant, she had already hidden it behind a smile.

[Emilia: So.....um, everyone already knows about the Trial’s contents?]

[Ram: We heard it from Barusu. Of course, we didn’t get into any details. Emilia-sama, we realize there must be things you would rather not be asked about]

[Emilia: I, I see, Subaru......eh? How could Subaru...? I mean, Subaru isn’t Half-Blooded, how could he take the Trials......]

Surprised, Emilia looked toward Subaru, and, as if with the same question, everyone else fixed their eyes onto Subaru as well. It was only natural they would ask this, and receiving their gazes, Subaru thought for a moment about how he should answer,

[Subaru: I told you before I went in. I got the Qualifications. Who it came from is a bit hard to explain, but I could tell you where......it was, probably when I went into the Tomb the evening before]

[Garfiel: By evening, y’mean when you suddenly went fainted and I had to drag you all th’way here?]

[Subaru: Yeah, that’s right. I’m not sure exactly how or why I got it......but that should’ve been it. Maybe when a guy without Qualifications walks in, he gets baptized or something, and afterwards he’ll be allowed to go in. Wouldn’t it be a surprise if Roswaal could go in too?]

[Garfiel: Let’s send Roswaal in t’check, it’ll be hilarious watchin’ him bouncin out. Be just like checkin’ if “Purinpas’ blood drips the same shade o’red”]

Garfiel opened his mouth laughing, but as soon as he saw Ram’s cold stare, he made a “you’re no fun” face and closed his mouth. And then, although Ram still didn’t seem convinced by Subaru’s answer,

[Ram: In any case, it’s a fact that Barusu went in and brought Emilia-sama out, and during that time, took the same kind of Trial as Emilia-sama did, and, if his words weren’t entirely delusional, managed to pass it]

[Subaru: Delusional... that hurts, oy]

[Emilia: Managed to pass it...... Subaru, passed the Trial?]

While Subaru was complaining about Ram’s merciless word choice, Emilia’s ears didn’t seem to catch the rest of that interaction. With flickering eyes, she looked at Subaru, and,

[Emilia: You really passed it, Subaru? The......past?]

[Subaru: The one I saw would’ve been different from Emilia-tan’s. Besides I......couldn’t have done it on my own]

His mother and father, who should have been the obstacles in his path, instead gave him the greatest encouragement in the end. And, more importantly, even before challenging the Trial, Subaru’s heart already had the answers.

Although it was unfair to Emilia, they had gone into their Trials with very different conditions.

[Subaru: I just lucked out and got a nice test result, that’s all. I’m more concerned about Emilia-tan, though. From the looks of it, I guess your Trial didn’t go too well......]

[Emilia: E-en. That’s right...... I tried my best, but it suddenly broke off half way through]

[Subaru: That was probably because I woke you up, I think, sorry...... But then, is re-taking the Trials even possible? Instead of continuing to the other two Trials, I just got sent back here]

Listening to Emilia’s faltering words, Subaru turned to Lewes and asked this question. Sitting there quietly in the corner, the old hag who looked like a little girl touched a hand to her cheek.

[Lewes: There weren’t many precedents but......you should be able to challenge multiple times. I myself did not pass beyond the first Trial, but I challenged twice. What bothers me the most, though, is Su-bo, who received the Qualifications]

[Subaru: Me?]

[Lewes: Suddenly becoming qualified out of the blue should not be possible. At least, as far as I know, having been here since the time when the Tomb was first created......it shouldn’t be. But I might have a rough idea] (***Lewes said before that she wasn’t around when the Tomb was first created, but this time she is explicitly saying that she is. – TC)

After that, Lewes fell silent. Even though he felt something was off about Lewes’ words and demeanor, Subaru kept it to himself for the moment, and turned to Emilia,

[Subaru: Either way, it’s officially confirmed that it’s possible to re-take the Trials. So now, it’s just a question of Emilia-tan]

[Emilia: M-me?]

[Subaru: Yeah, that’s right. I just have to ask――Emilia-tan, do you still have the resolve to challenge the Trials again?]

[Emilia: ――――h]

At that question, Emilia’s throat clogged up and her eyes opened wide.

If she became angry at her determination being called into question, or if she felt insulted and indignant, Subaru was prepared to be yelled at and to take on her reproach.

However, within her trembling, violet eyes, there was only a faint flicker of anxiety and fear.

Her heart being eaten away by these negative emotions was such that she could not give an immediate reply.

[Subaru: If you can’t take the Trials, I will take them for you]

[Emilia: ――!? But Subaru, that’s......]

[Subaru: At least I’ve already cleared the first Trial. That means breaking through the other two Trials won’t be impossible either. So, if you’re having any second thoughts about going back into the Trials, I will gallantly do it for you. It’s the reason I am here, after all]

[Emilia: For a reason like that......for, me......?]

[Subaru: Of course]

Emilia faltered as if she was preparing to be denied, but Subaru answered her loud and clear.

Watching her eyes widen as her emotions intensified, Subaru stared straight into her eyes,

[Subaru: I am here for you, and if you are scared, I will do it for you. Even if Roswaal or anyone else says that Emilia-tan has to be the one to liberate the Sanctuary, or that it has to be your achievement......Whatever I achieve, whatever praise I might receive, I devote them all to you. So I don’t mind]

[Emilia: Why would you......do so much for me......]

[Subaru: Didn’t I tell you before? Because I fell in love with you, because I fell super in love with you]

Emilia’s breath stopped, and the faces of everyone in the room showed some kind of reaction.

Subaru didn’t pay them any mind, and only fixed his gaze on the shaken Emilia, and shrugged,

[Subaru: That’s why, I plan to challenge the Trials. What about you, Emilia-tan? If it’s really too hard, it’s ok if you want to sleep in the house]

[Emilia: ――――Subaru you, blockhead]

Seeing the corners of Subaru’s lips drawing upward, Emilia slightly pouted her lips.

Then, lifting up her downcast face, she forcefully wiped her eyes, and turned her lips into the shape of a smile.

[Emilia: When you say it like that, how can I just shut myself in a room and wait. You know...... you’re reeaaally unfair. Reeaaally dumb. And I reeaaally...... thank you]

[Subaru: Eh? Wha? What was that last one? You reeaally love me too?]

[Emilia: Totally wrong! I was gonna say I’m really grateful and......]

[Subaru: Oh. I see. Even though I heard it this time, can I just hear it one more time please!]

[Emilia: Subaru you blockhead!!]

Getting carried away, Subaru held his ear right up to her, when Emilia shouted back at the top of her lungs.

Even if her voice was as beautiful as silver chimes, with a direct hit on his eardrums at this volume, it was nothing less than a sonic weapon. Subaru looked like he was about to pass out, but still managed to throw Emilia a smile as she huffed her shoulders up and down.

[Subaru: See, that’s more like it. Alright, then let’s give it our best again. I’ll start on Stage 2, Emila-tan on Stage 1]

[Emilia: Hrmph. I’ll catch up before you know it, then I’ll just keep going, and I’ll be sure to leave you way behind in the dust. Subaru’s achievements or whatever, I won’t leave you a single one]

[Subaru: Not a single one? But I’ll need at least one for a chance to come bother Emilia-tan for a reward or two afterwards]

Seeing Subaru still not learning his lesson, Emilia pouted up her lips and poked out her tongue.

During this back and forth between them, Subaru wondered if he had managed to help just a little in getting her back on her feet.

One way or another, the real Trials are only beginning.

[Subaru: With me and Emilia-tan’s Love-Love-Power, the Trials or whatever will be a piece of cake]

Clicking his fingers and sparkling his teeth, Subaru expressed his resolution by striking a thumbs-up.

Listening to his words, Emilia only stuck out her tongue, and,

[Emilia: It’s more than enough with just me. Tomorrow I’ll show you, I can do it on my own without Subaru looking after me]

And, this way, she kept up her strong facade in front of him.

※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※

Watching Subaru and Emilia taunting each other and pumping each other up, Lewes brought the already cold tea up to her lips.

Tasting its faint, lingering warmth on the tip of her tongue, she fondly watched the conversation between the silver-haired Half-Elf and the black-haired youth.

[Lewes: Where will things go from here, I wonder...... Would everything really happen as Witch-sama intended?]

[Garfiel: Kheh. Who knows. No matter which way it turns, I a’ready know it’ll be something that’ll make me wanna puke]

Listening to Lewes’ mutterings, Garfiel replied in a voice that didn’t intend to hide his displeasure.

Watching the side of the youth’s face, Lewes quietly sighed in a way that no one else could have noticed,

[Lewes: To force such burdens on these kind children. How egregious the sins of this ancient self must be...... We are beyond redemption. ――At least, I hope it doesn’t come to that in the end]

Tilting the tea to her lips, those words fell without having reached anyone, and only stirred up a small wave on the surface of the lukewarm amber-colored tea ―― which, too, vanished without a trace.

-=Chapter 21 End=-