Volume 4, 63 [An Empathy Towards Death]

Volume 4, Chapter 63 [An Empathy Towards Death]

The sounds of amethyst shards piercing into flesh rang out in quick succession, as a mist of glittering fragments dispersing from the impact drowned out the hall.

Countless spears shot towards Elsa’s body from every direction, and she would have been punctured with a million pores.

“Victory is assured”. But even as he watched the murderer being crushed under the overwhelming power of Beatrice’s magic, he couldn’t stifle the ominous feeling exploding inside his chest.

――What was it, what was it that he had forgotten? There was something that he mustn’t forget.

What could it be? Even as he tried to pry it from his memories, the cascade of emotions turned him away.

Just what was Elsa’s goal in coming to the Mansion? After finding Frederica’s body, his shame of having suspected her had thrown his heart into disarray. He had never quite accepted Petra’s death, nor could he suppress his anxiousness to confirm Rem’s safety behind the door. All these emotions screamed from the depths of his being. And Beatrice―― what was it that he needed to tell Beatrice?

What was it? Subaru couldn’t find the answer to the question confounding his heart.

[Subaru: ――――]

And so, he missed the opportunity to prevent what he should have prevented.

[Subaru: ――egh, ah?]

An object flew out of the glistening radiance, and dug deep into Subaru’s right shoulder.

Looking towards the source of the pain, his thoughts turned red hot as he saw the blood pouring from the gash. His throat shrieked as if he was being strangled as the projectile’s momentum pushed him off his feet, flat onto the floor.

[Beatrice: How......!? That was a direct hit I suppose!?]

Seeing the wounded Subaru, Beatrice cried out in shock.

Hearing Beatrice’s cry beneath his scorching thoughts, it was only then that he remembered. He remembered it. Yes. It was a direct hit. There was no doubt about it. But,

[Subaru: ELSAAAAAA!!]

[Elsa: No need to cry out so passionately, I can hear you just fine]

From his hatred, inflamed by the pain, it was a rupturing scream unlike the shriek from before. And, in reply, amidst the falling crystals at the other end of the hallway―― an alluring, unhurried voice answered, with no indication of the life or death exchange that had just transpired.

[Beatrice: She’s uninjured... how’s that possible]

[Elsa: If I was naked, I’d have probably died from that]

Watching Beatrice shake her head in disbelief, Elsa replied with her french braid swaying. Nothing about her looked like she had just taken a direct hit from Beatrice’s magic. In fact, she appeared exactly as she did before.

Except, there was just one difference. She had cast off her feathered cloak, and was now only wearing the black outfit underneath.

[Subaru: Her magic-nullifying cloak!]

[Elsa: It’s already the second time you got to see it. Too bad you’re a bit late to tell that girl about it]

[Subaru: Shit......!]

No single word could sufficiently express his regret as rage boiled beneath his pain.

Elsa’s cloak had the ability to cancel one magical strike. ――That was something he had personally witnessed during their showdown inside the Capital.

The fact that Beatrice’s strike came so suddenly, combined with their lack of coordination beforehand, had all led to this unforgivable blunder.

[Beatrice: Now that I know your trick, it’s not so surprising anymore]

[Elsa: ――Wonderful. Oh just wonderful. Such strength, and so adorable. Unlike some girl who only knows how to whimper and cry, I am very much looking forward to the warmth of your bowels]

Beatrice’s aura intensified once more as Elsa twirled the Kukri-knife in her hand and smiled. From her words, accompanied by her bloodied smile―― it was obvious who “the whimpering girl” was referring to. And the instant he realized it, Subaru’s rage erupted.

[Subaru: What gives you the right to talk about Petra like that――!!]

The throwing knife jutting out of his right shoulder―― was hooked at the tip to hinder its removal. Yet, gritting his teeth at the object buried in his flesh, Subaru tore it out in a single stroke.

Intense pain dyed his vision true-red, and he could feel his right arm being crippled of its functionality. And then, ignoring his injury, Subaru hurled the dislodged knife back at Elsa.

Though he had thrown it with all his strength, it was still a haphazard throw with no prior training.

The fact that it flew straight towards Elsa was already half a miracle, and the same went for its speed. But it was obvious that such an attack would have no effect on a murderer with agility beyond human comprehension.

[Elsa: I admire your spirit, but if this is all y――]

[Subaru: I’ll wring out every drop! SHAMAC――!!]

[Elsa: ――!?]

As Elsa readied for the incoming attack, the third Shamac escaped Subaru’s trembling throat.

Drawing out the last of his body’s exhausted mana after his first and second casts, Subaru expelled his life force through his inexperienced gate as payment for his chant.

Blood shot through his eyes and leaked from his nose. And then, the scream of his soul was answered.

Darkness spread through the center of the hallway, filling the space between him and Elsa. The knife that Subaru had thrown flew into the jet of smoke. Shooting through the obscuring darkness, it stayed its course towards Elsa―― its trajectory shielded from view.

[Subaru: Please hit――!]

[Elsa: You startled me there, but it’s not hard to just step out of the way]

Elsa threw in a complaint as she lowered her body to dodge out of its path.

Subaru’s Shamac fell short of reaching her, and thus allowed her to evade at the last moment.

Flying out of the smokescreen, the small knife missed its original owner’s body and continued down towards the end of the hall. And, just like that, Subaru’s attack ended in vain――or so it seemed, when,

[Subaru: Beako!!]

[Beatrice: Don’t just call me that all of a sudden, I suppose――!]

If Subaru had been the only one present, the attack would have ended there.

But there were two people standing against Elsa――and the other girl had already used the time Subaru managed to buy to complete her next chant.

[Beatrice: Now allow me to show you. ――What Dark Magic truly is]

“Wh――”

Was it Subaru or Elsa who tried to say this?

Even that was impossible to tell after Beatrice’s next action.

Clasping her small hands in front of her chest, Beatrice mouthed something under her breath. And, with a single phrase, the world was painted over.

[Beatrice: ――Ul Shamac]

――In a scale completely unlike Subaru’s imitation Dark Magic, genuine “Darkness” enveloped the Mansion.

※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※

When he came to his senses, Subaru was surrounded by pitch blackness.

[Subaru: ――――?]

Actually, even whether he was conscious was uncertain.

Where was he? Was he standing or was he seated? He couldn’t tell at all.

Up, down, left, right, even front or back was vague. Was he inhaling or was he exhaling? Was his blood still flowing? Was his heart still beating? Was he alive? Or was he already dead?

He couldn’t understand a thing. He couldn’t answer any of it. If he was inside his own Shamac, there would still be the sensations at the soles of his feet, and he could at least feel the movements inside his body. Even if he was denied all sensory input, there would still be his sharpened inner awareness to take its place.

But not in this darkness.

Here, it was as if he had dissolved into the shadow, and he couldn’t find himself if he tried.

Was he still in the form of a human? He could no longer be sure. He couldn’t sense the whereabouts of his hands, and so he couldn’t even touch himself to verify. Even if he wanted to check where he was, he wouldn’t know how to tell his legs to walk. What does it mean to walk? What does it mean to check?

――Most of all, just who was he supposed to be?

The line where he stopped and where others began was blurring.

The line where he stopped and where the world began was blurring.

Even the strength to think had melted away. Faded. Vanished.

And just like this, and just like this, and just like this――

The end had come.

The end had.

The end.

[???: ......It’s about time you woke up, I suppose]

With the sound of a dry slap against his cheek, Subaru’s consciousness was pulled back to reality.

He blinked, and groaned at the dazzling brightness piercing his returning vision. Hearing this, the pain that woke him slapped his cheeks again. Left and then right, once on each side.

[Subaru: Hey, you don’t have to keep hitting me!]

Beatrice’s words had pierced straight into his heart.

Petra and Frederica’s deaths had only strengthened Subaru’s resolve to reset this world. Even with the defeat of Elsa, that achievement came with far too heavy a price. It would simply be too painful to go on in this world.

Here he was, the one telling Beatrice “Not to die”, and yet, what right did he have to say it? You can’t, but I could―― it was truly selfish to the extreme.

[Subaru: Whether you’ll come to the Sanctuary with me or not, let’s just sort out everything at the Mansion first. Then we can pick it up after that]

Passing Beatrice at the doorway, he continued down the hall. Beatrice looked on silently, but quietly indicated that she would follow him.

Since she was forbidden from taking her own life, Beatrice needed someone else to bring about her end. She couldn’t force his hand, and though he had made his intentions clear, she could only follow close behind him.

What a cruel man he was, to knowingly act this way. The thought of it filled him with guilt.

[Subaru: ――oa?]

While wallowing in this self loathing, suddenly, Subaru let out a grunt.

The reason was a light impact. As if a hand pushed on his back, Subaru stumbled forward with Rem in his arms.

Turning around after taking a few steps to regain his balance, he saw that it was Beatrice. Was it revenge for what he had said earlier? But just as he was about to furrow his brows and protest――

[Beatrice: ――a]

The girl softly cried, with a dull gleam jutting out of her chest.

[Subaru: ――e?]

The knife that had entered through her back protruded from her chest, slowly carving out a vertical gash―― from the top of her ribs down to her waist.

Beatrice’s small body shuddered with the motion of the blade.

And Subaru only watched in stupefaction.

[Beatrice: ......it’s]

Softly, Beatrice’s lips murmured something.

She lifted her face to look at the petrified Subaru.

Her expression, and the emotions in her eyes, all seemed to be telling of some excessively grand tale,

[Beatrice: Finally......]

[Subaru: Wait.....]

[Beatrice: ――――a]

Even Subaru himself didn’t know what he was trying to say.

And before her formless emotions could take shape, Beatrice’s voice trailed into a sigh.

With that final sound, Beatrice’s body faded into a faintly shining mass, and, in the blink of an eye, scattered as golden particles of light.

Her delicate body, her cream-colored curls, her charming, impertinent face, and her extravagant, cumbersome, yet perfectly-suiting dress, all vanished into nothing――

[???: ――Oh my, that’s disappointing. It’s my first time cutting open a spirit’s bowels, and it’s already gone]

A step behind where Beatrice had vanished, stood a woman holding her murder weapon in hand.

Subaru could already identify her just from the first sound of her voice. From the first moment, he was certain, yet his mind refused to register what should have been impossible. But, within seconds of seeing it with his own eyes, his awareness recovered as he clenched his teeth.

A tooth shattered with a crack. Tasting blood, locking his glare, he screamed.

[Subaru: ――ELSAAAA!!]

[Elsa: Oh, but what can you do?]

The back of the Kukri-knife crashed into the side of his screaming skull.

The blunt impact instantly shattered into his head as the unstoppable force slammed Subaru’s body against the wall. The only resistance he could muster was to keep Rem from flying out of his arms.

Profuse blood poured from the shattered gap, his eyes went dark and his limbs would not respond to his will to fight on. Yet, even so, Subaru caught Elsa in his strobing vision, tossing the Kukri-knife between her hands.

[Subaru: H..ow......how’re you alive? I checked, I checked and you were dead......!]

[Elsa: Mmhmm, that’s right. I was dead. If I was burned to ash back then, I probably wouldn’t be here right now]

Elsa absently answered the shivering Subaru.

Impaled and crucified, Elsa was certainly dead. She was dead. He was sure of it. But then what was she doing here? Or, was he in some nightmare where Elsa also had clones like Lewes?

But there was blood dripping from Elsa’s limbs, and the hole where her chest was pierced through was only bandaged by a strip of cloth torn from her cloak.

Seeing the dark battle wounds littering her body, there was no doubt that this was the same person as before. The only question was whether she was alive or dead.

[Subaru: You aren’t...... immortal, by any chance, are you......?]

[Elsa: Well that’s impossible. I just hang onto life a bit more shamelessly than others. Speaking of which, that girl was really something. I can count on my fingers how many times I’ve taken this much damage to my body]

[Subaru: .......What a coincidence. I can also count on my fingers how many times you’ve tortured me to death]

Subaru’s remark may have been ironic, but it was certainly not a joke. However, apparently taking it as such, Elsa smiled and did a quick spin on the spot. Then, holding her fingers to her lonely, half-severed braid, Elsa silently looked down at Subaru,

[Elsa: This girl here, I’ve never heard about her]

[Subaru: ......Then how about you pretend you didn’t see her and let it slide?]

Understanding the meaning behind her words, Subaru raised this suggestion to Elsa. Even if there wasn’t much hope of her accepting his advice, it would at least buy him some time for his limbs to start responding to his commands. It was a stupid conversation, but he needed the time.

[Elsa: She definitely wasn’t a part of my plans, so I guess it wouldn’t be a problem...... the spirit girl, the oversized maid... the little maid was kind of a bonus]

There were three targets. Beatrice, Frederica, and the tacked-on Petra.

Even with his consciousness glowing white-hot, Subaru sharpened his ears so as not to miss a single detail. The fact that Rem wasn’t marked as a target must have meant that whoever hired Elsa had forgotten Rem’s existence. He had previously thought that Frederica was the employer, but her death sent him back to the drawing board.

[Subaru: Come to think of it, you lied, didn’t you]

[Elsa: Lied?]

[Subaru: About Frederica. ――Back in the Forbidden Library, you talked like you only killed Petra, but how do you explain that?]

Subaru gestured toward Frederica, lying at the side of the hallway. Following his gaze, with an [Aah], Elsa nodded as if having understood. Then, she turned back to Subaru,

[Elsa: Hers wasn’t a beautiful death]

She made this paltry remark.

The murderer’s definition of beauty wasn’t something he’d want to understand. But after taking someone’s life, was this all she had to say? Rage churned inside him, but he knew it wouldn’t mean a thing in front of Elsa and the Kukri-knife in her hand.

As much as he wanted revenge, his body hadn’t recovered nearly enough to strike back.

Just like this, strewn on the floor in front of Elsa’s murdering blade, the outcome was already decided.

――So, this was as far as he would go.

Acknowledging his impending “Death”, Subaru ran the information he had gathered in this loop through his mind, alongside the new, confounding mysteries. And then, there was his exchange with Beatrice, and the final expression he saw on her face.

Why did the girl who kept telling Subaru “I want to die” and “Please kill me” shove him out of the way in the end? Promptly noticing that Elsa was alive, she pushed Subaru away. But just what was it supposed to mean when she did this? Subaru wasn’t stupid enough not to realize it.

[Elsa: I don’t like that look in your eyes]

[Subaru: Huh? ――Gbha!?]

With these words, the flat of her blade struck against his face once again.

His left cheekbone was shattered, and several cracked teeth fell onto the floor. Collapsing, another blow struck him from the opposite side. Intense pain raced through the bottom of his right eye, and, with a flash of her blade, his left ear was sheared off.

Then, switching between the edge and flat of her blade in turn, Elsa carved, crushed, and scourged Subaru’s body. Denying him the impending “Death” he had expected, she dealt him pain upon pain upon pain as blood and wails leaked from his mouth without end.

[Elsa: Struggle on until the last moment of your life. Otherwise, what is the point of living?]

[Subaru: ......as if I’d want to take life advice from you]

A strike. His forehead split open, and he felt the illusion of the contents of his skull spilling as he collapsed.

His consciousness grew distant at the solid impact, and Subaru could feel his body steadily being drawn into that frozen world.

So, this is where he dies.

Even if he lost consciousness now, he had no illusions about what falling unconscious in front the Bowel Hunter would entail.

This was the end. This time, this would be as far as he gets.

Next time, he won’t fail again. Next time, for sure.

The expression on your face at the very end. I won’t forget it, no matter what.

[Subaru: ――Beatrice]

In her final moments, the girl who had told him “Kill me”, had tears within her eyes.

With that sight seared into his mind, Subaru’s consciousness was slowly swallowed, into darkness, into nothing.

-=Chapter 63 End=-