Volume 4, 99 [Alone In a Confined Space]

Volume 4, Chapter 99 [Alone In a Confined Space]

――Two vital characters have simultaneously gone missing.

Naturally, facing a situation that had never come up in these loops, Subaru’s insides were burning with panic.

Sprinting through the Sanctuary, Subaru headed for Lewes’ residence―― the small cabin on the village outskirts she had been living in after lending her home to Emilia

[Garfiel: .......Look who decided t’come]

When Subaru belted open the door and stormed inside, he found Garfiel standing there imposingly, waiting for him. With arms crossed, nose furrowed, and irritation in plain view, he glared at Subaru,

[Garfiel: Took y’long enough. How long were y’plannin’ t’keep me waitin’?]

[Subaru: Well I got here as fast as I could...... But never mind that, what’s this about Lewes-san being missing?]

[Garfiel: Can’t y’see for yerself?]

Garfiel jerked his chin, indicating the cramped room. Looking over the space, if it were wide enough to be called that, Lewes’ temporary lodging was a simple shack with no furnitures except a bed.

If Lewes wasn’t on that bed, then there was no doubt she wasn’t in this house.

Taking control of his breathing, Subaru roughly wiped the sweat off his forehead with a sleeve.

[Subaru: It’s obvious she’s not here, but...... isn’t calling that missing a bit too much? Lewes-san may not look like it, but she’s a proper adult already. Maybe she’s just out for a walk or something, there’s no need to......]

[Garfiel: Shut up! Th’fuck d’you know!? Granny ain’t never missed showin’ up at breakfast fer no fuckin’ reason. I ain’t never seen her oversleep or stay sick in bed either, and y’sayin’ she’s takin’ a walk? Y’want me t’eat ya!?]

[Subaru: That was a rough way of putting it, but your life with Lewes-san sounds pretty cozy, huh.....]

Even with circumstances as they are, the basis for the notion that Lewes has gone missing was actually rather weak. Pointing this out, Subaru slumped, but Garfiel didn’t seem to share in Subaru’s sentiment.

He walked up to Subaru, who finally straightened his back, and bared his fangs,

[Garfiel: It never happened before, yet it’s happenin’ this mornin’. If anythin’s happenin’ now that ain’t happened here before, it’s ’cause you people’re involved, even an idiot knows that. ――Y’bastard did somethin’ with Granny, didn’t ya?]

Though Garfiel seemed to have an incredible knack for making baseless accusations, this time, his suspicion hit right on the mark.

Lewes’―― currently Lewes Theta’s―― disappearance was almost certainly because of Subaru. It was hard to imagine that someone would have kidnapped her and Emilia simultaneously.

She left willingly without saying anything to Garfiel. Just like Emilia, she was blocked by the Sanctuary’s Barrier, so she couldn’t have fled outside. In other words, it was her intention to go into hiding. ――And the time-limit for finding her was even more pressing than Emilia’s.

[Subaru: If I don’t find Theta-san by the end of today......]

The rotation schedule will switch her into tomorrow’s Lewes―― Alpha, Beta, or Sigma will take her place. If that happens, he will not have another chance to speak with Theta within the two-day limit, and his perfect-run of the Sanctuary route will be thwarted.

[Garfiel: They...ta?]

Hearing Subaru call Lewes this, a question mark floated onto Garfiel’s face.

Subaru was about to ask for Garfiel’s help in finding Theta, but he gave up on that idea the moment he saw Garfiel’s expression.

The question surging up inside Subaru prevented him from saying a word.

[Subaru: ――――]

It was a simple question, but one he had never confirmed.

――Does Garfiel actually know about the four representative Lewes personalities?

Garfiel certainly knew about the Lewes Meyer inside the crystal in the abandoned experimental grounds deep within the forest. He had challenged the Trial, met Echidona, and qualified as an Apostle of Greed. Naturally, holding the Command Authority over replicants, Garfiel was aware of the existence of the identical-looking Lewes clones.

But, what about the rest? Does Garfiel know about the four Lewes personalities, Alpha, Beta, Sigma and Theta?

[Garfiel: Th’hell’s that? Y’stopped talkin’ all of a sudden. If y’got some kinda clue, fuckin’ spit it out now. “Straight n’ honest Lib-Lib’s happy even when he’s swindled”, they say]

[Subaru: Sounds like Lib-Lib’s going to be swindled forever, like that......]

Imagining the story of some random happy prince, Subaru wasn’t sure how best to answer Garfiel.

His confrontation with Garfiel was supposed to be the final barricade to completing the Sanctuary route. Honestly, Subaru wasn’t nearly prepared enough to face him without having heard what Theta has to say. And yet, whatever answer he gives here could inadvertently influence the outcome.

――Just how should he respond? After much deliberation, Subaru,

[Subaru: Say, Garfiel. Couldn’t you just summon Lewes-san if you wanted to?]

[Garfiel: ――――gh!!]

Immediately, Subaru saw Garfiel’s expression violently shift. Garfiel’s eyes wavered in discomposure as he lunged forward, grabbing Subaru by the collar.

At a distance so close that their foreheads almost touched, Garfiel’s golden pupils seethed with rage―― a rage so intense that it could burn its target to nothing with that gaze alone.

[Garfiel: Th’fuck y’talking about... I ain’t got a shred of fuckin Milfram’s clue th’fuck yer talkin about, oy!]

[Subaru: I-I don’t know what a Milfram is, but...... that’s not exactly the reaction of someone who doesn’t have the shred of a clue, is it...... let go, dumbass]

Perhaps flipping out and grabbing Subaru was just his way of calming himself. Garfiel’s words as he tried to cover it up was inherent nonsense.

Hit right on the mark by Subaru’s observation, Garfiel’s grip loosened as Subaru used the opportunity to escape. Smoothing out his crumpled clothing, Subaru took a step back to put some distance between them,

[Subaru: I meant exactly what I said. I know you’re not too stupid to understand. You have a way to do it. You have the quickest, simplest solution on hand. Why aren’t you using it?]

[Garfiel: Y’say it like it’s fuckin’ easy...... tch]

Garfiel’s cheeks twisted in disgust as he glared at Subaru with utmost hatred.

But despite the intensity of the rage and hostility harbored in those eyes, Subaru could clearly discern a shadow of grief mixed within it.

Noticing that hint of sorrow, Subaru’s expression shifted, but Garfiel, sensing that the depths of his emotion had been seen through, clicked his tongue and looked away.

[Garfiel: That’s why I can’t let down my guard with a qualified bastard standin’ here. I dunno what that fuckin’ Witch filled yer head with. But don’t fuck with me, don’t fuck with me]

[Subaru: ――――]

[Garfiel: So y’know about Granny’s experimental grounds? Then y’must know ’bout Granny’s original in th’rock as well...... It ain’t something t’just use]

Clutching his chest with his right hand, it was as if Garfiel was trying to hide it from Subaru’s view. Even though it probably wasn’t physically there, Subaru figured he must be indicating the invisible Command Authority he possessed.

With his arm still holding his chest,

[Garfiel: I ain’t anythin’ like you n’ Roswaal. I ain’t gonna use somethin’ just because I can...... I ain’t never gonna think like that]

[Subaru: ......Garfiel]

[Garfiel: Just me alone is enough. Long as I got myself, I don’t need anythin’ else. I ain’t fuckin’ usin’ this power unless it’s the last of the last of the last resort. ――Grandma, she... she’s my grandma]

Those last words fell to a whisper.

Subaru had heard him call her “Grandma” once before. But this time, it was more tender than he had ever heard him speak.

Without any intention behind it, what slipped out must have been Garfiel’s true thoughts.

[Garfiel: ――Tch]

Noticing his own slip-up, Garfiel kicked at the floor in frustration. The exorbitant force caused the whole shack to lurch, sending down specks of dust tickling Subaru’s head as he waited for Garfiel’s next move.

Realizing that he was the only one getting worked up, Garfiel’s expression twisted in even further discomfort as he shoved Subaru out of the way.

[Garfiel: Move. I ain’t talkin’ with you anymore. If you ain’t tellin’ me where Granny is, I’ll just look for her myself. When I do, I ain’t letting y’touch her ever again]

[Subaru: Why does that, why does that kinda sound like it’s all my fault?]

[Garfiel: Before you...... before y’fuckers came, everythin’ was peaceful n’ nothin’ ever happened here. I’m bringin’ us back to that time. I don’t need nothin’ whether it’s in here or out there...... I don’t need nothin’]

Leaving those faltering words behind, Garfiel marched out of the small shack. Bending his knees as soon as he was out of the door, he bounded out with his bestial leg-strength―― and although his path was straight, he disappeared from view in only a matter of seconds.

Batting away the dust that Garfiel’s departure had kicked up, Subaru decided to check over the room once more before leaving.

Regardless of Garfiel’s hasty conclusions, would Lewes really disappear without leaving any trace behind? Or at least, she might have left some hints about where she was going――

[Subaru: But then again, if there was anything, the guy who’s known her for ages should’ve noticed it. My nose isn’t as sharp as his and my eyes aren’t any better...]

After five minutes of searching and finding nothing, Subaru sighed with that self-deprecating lament. Heading out of the cabin, he gazed in the direction of the village, in thought.

[Subaru: ――――]

Emilia and Lewes Theta, those two had almost simultaneously disappeared.

Chances were, both of them left their buildings of their own accord, and were trying to hide from Subaru and everyone else. There was even a possibility that they were working together.

[Subaru: I don’t remember Emilia and Lewes-san being close, but......]

Ever since arriving in the Sanctuary, Emilia’s mind had been occupied by the Trials and the Royal Selection. Subaru couldn’t recall a single instance where she casually interacted with anyone here.

At most, she had some conversations with Subaru, Ram, Otto, but she rarely ever spoke with Lewes or Garfiel.

Thinking about it now, her lack of interaction with others might’ve been the reason she was so fixated on her lonely sense of duty, and it was Subaru’s fault for not paying enough attention to her. If Subaru had done more to smooth things out, Emilia would not have had so many emotions pent up inside, and perhaps they would’ve found a clearer solution to their problems.

[Subaru: But it’s a bit late for that, isn’t it......]

This wasn’t the time to be thinking about the underlying causes of Emilia’s disappearance. More importantly, delving into it would only push Subaru further into blaming himself.

There was no time to wallow in self-loathing now.

[Subaru: It’s a good thing Garfiel doesn’t know that Emilia’s also missing...... not that he’d prioritize looking for her before looking for Lewes-san, but there’s no knowing what he’d say if given the pretext]

Even this small relief would be pointless if he doesn’t find Emilia soon. But finding Lewes Theta wasn’t a matter he could put off, either.

If he doesn’t find Theta before Garfiel does, it won’t be easy getting past the overprotective Garfiel after that.

In other words, what Subaru needed to do could be summed up as:

[Subaru: Secure Emilia and Lewes Theta before Garfiel does, figure out Theta’s reasons for opposing the Sanctuary’s liberation, get Emilia back on her feet, have her challenge the Trials, and do all of that within half a day...... huh]

[???: ......Natsuki-san, just how brambled does the path have to be before you’re satisfied?]

As Subaru came to that rather bleak conclusion, Otto showed up by the door just in time to butt in.

Arriving quite a bit later than Subaru, who sprinted here, Otto looked around the shack’s dishevelled interior and furrowed his brows.

[Otto: Even if you’re rummaging through a house, you could’ve been more elegant about it. Though, your conversation with Garfiel seems to have concluded safely]

[Subaru: Concluded safely, but can’t say I got anything out of it. Anyway, I’ve reaffirmed the situation and our next course of action is just as I mumbled]

[Otto: All I got from that mumble was that we have some new problems piled on top of the old ones and now it’s all a jumbled mess, more or less]

[Subaru: ..........]

Unable to weasel around Otto’s accurate impression, Subaru slumped his shoulders.

Nevertheless, the fact that Subaru was feeling more at ease than before was no doubt because Otto’s presence meant he would no longer have to agonize over it alone.

[Otto: ......I’ll feel troubled if you keep giving me that blatantly-relieved look, you know]

[Subaru: ――? What?]

[Otto: ......forget I said anything. You don’t seem to realize it, huh. No way you do. Aaaaagh but if you do and you’re doing this to me on purpose then I’m totally getting led by the nose here, aren’t I...]

Watching Otto messing up his gray hair, Subaru tilted his head. But, without answering Subaru’s confused expression, [Anyway!], Otto shouted,

[Otto: There’s no doubt that the already hopeless situation just got even worse. So what do we do? Now that the circumstances that already made me want to run for it as it is managed to plummet even further, how’re we getting out of this? I have a feeling that if we hurry now we could still dump everything and make a run for it]

[Subaru: After everything you’ve seen and heard, you still think we can drop everything and run away? Neither of us is the kind of people who can do something that irresponsible, right?]

[Otto: ......But it looks like Emilia-sama has done exactly that]

Looking away, Otto muttered with a sigh.

It wasn’t out of spite. Otto was simply venting the dissatisfaction pent up in his chest. Realizing this, Subaru did not blame him for it.

Subaru only lightly shook his head,

[Subaru: Emilia isn’t the kind of girl who’d turn tail and run in the face of her problems......]

[Otto: But, how can you say that? Natsuki-san. I’ve been meaning to say this for a while now, but, are you sure you’re not too fixated on only Emilia-sama’s attractive side?]

[Subaru: ......What’s that supposed to mean. Well, yeah, Emilia is so beautiful that my eyes could explode]

[Otto: While I definitely agree with that, I’m sure you know that’s not what I meant]

Seeing his lame joke easily swept aside, Subaru twisted his lips under Otto’s gaze.

As if finding it a bit painful to watch, Otto raised a finger with, [You listening?],

[Otto: I understand why you’d only want to see the good side of someone you have a crush on. I’m sure that kind of thing is very common. So I don’t blame you for projecting your ideals on her]

[Subaru: ――――]

[Otto: But Emilia-sama is not a perfect person. In fact, she has quite a few problems. And that includes the factors that are totally outside of her control. Her origin, her standing, and all the other issues that come with it]

Listening to Otto’s fluent speech, Subaru figured Otto must’ve wanted to lecture him on this for quite some time now and had prepared those words beforehand.

And indeed, his words were sound and left no room for rebuttal.

[Otto: Naturally, those external factors are unrelated to Emilia-sama’s inner purity. And her outward beauty only adds to her charm. But, Natsuki-san. Emilia-sama is only a mortal...... she’s just an ordinary girl. And just like ordinary girls, she has her share of worries, weaknesses, and unattractive aspects to her as well]

[Subaru: No but, only Emilia......]

[Otto: Don’t you find it strange that you’re only blindly seeing Emilia-sama in a different light? Natsuki-san, since coming to the Sanctuary, you must have seen plenty of Emilia-sama’s shortcomings first-hand, right? Those shortcomings won’t be limited to this place but will come up again and again in the future as well. Emilia-sama’s aspirations are too high above the reach of ordinary people, after all]

――“It’s a terrible shame about your older brother and his wife”, what was that supposed to mean?

Fortuna’s brother was Emilia’s father. Then his wife would be the person he married. His bride. And Emilia’s mother.

“It’s a terrible shame”, what could that possibly mean? And when Fortuna heard this, why didn’t she ask any questions?

Hugging her branch tight, Emilia stretched out her neck and perked up her ears so she could hear their conversation more clearly. Unaware of the micro-spirits’ blessing and the fact that her gesture was completely pointless, Emilia desperately kept up that posture so as not to miss a single word.

[Fortuna: Motivations have nothing to do with the nobility of an action. What you are doing deserves to be praised by tens of thousands. It’s reeeaally unfortunate that it can’t become common knowledge]

[Robed Man: Hha, ahaha. I appreciate the words of comfort. But, it is impossible nonetheless. If our true intentions were revealed to the world, the presently-stable order would once again be plunged into chaos. I’m sure neither you nor I... least of all, her, would want to see this]

[Fortuna: ......Hm, I suppose not]

Fortuna agreed with a nod.

After that, the topic seemed to drift away from what Emilia wanted to hear, and their subsequent conversation consisted mainly of casual small talk.

While Fortuna and the man conversed, the rest of the group had finished distributing the cargo. One of the adults called to Fortuna, and Fortuna nodded in reply before turning back to the robed man.

[Fortuna: Thanks to the spirits’ protection, the changing seasons don’t have much of an impact on the forests...... but still, these clothes and blankets are a great help. Thank you]

[Robed Man: If only for your deeds, you and everyone here should deserve better than this. You shouldn’t be forced to live in such a place]

[Fortuna: What’re you calling “Such a place”? We love living in the forest, you know]

Saying this jokingly, a faint smile emerged on Fortuna’s face. The man also smiled in return as the two shared an amicable moment together.

And then,

[????: Archbishop-sama. The items have been transferred, we are ready to depart. Please make haste]

[Robed Man: Mmm, understood]

Hearing the black-robed figure’s report, the man reluctantly took one last look at the village. Then, he gave Fortuna a bow, while Fortuna and the other adults put their hands to their chests and bowed to the group of black-robes in response.

The man turned away to follow behind the departing wagon train―― but then, he halted,

[Robed Man: Right, there was one more thing I wanted to ask]

[Fortuna: ............]

The man turned around and lifted a finger, while Fortuna urged him to continue with her silence.

Seeing Fortuna’s attitude, for a moment, the man closed his eyes, before gazing into the depths of the forest,

[Robed Man: ――Emilia-sama, is she well?]

[Emilia: ――hk]

Hearing the man mention her name, Emilia unwittingly squeaked on the tree branch. But luckily, since she had just exhaled, it only came out as a little groan.

Fortunately, no one seemed to have heard it, and Fortuna only slowly nodded to the man’s question,

[Fortuna: She’s fine. Emilia is healthy, and growing up to be a good girl. A good girl who’s... more than I deserve. ......But, I’m sorry. I cannot let you meet her]

[Robed Man: That’s all I needed to hear. I understand. As long as Emilia-sama is safe and well, that’s more than enough. A sinner as I am, I don’t dare covet anything beyond that]

[Fortuna: ............]

Rather than self-deprecation, it sounded more like he was cautioning himself.

But either way, no easy words of comfort escaped Fortuna’s lips as she heard this.

The man looked up with an expression as if he was relieved by Fortuna’s silence. And, after a while of staring at each other without either of them breaking the stillness,

[????: Archbishop-sama, is something the matter? ――Archbishop Romanée-Conti-sama?]

Someone ran back from the party that had gone on ahead. Hearing his name, the robed man spread out his arms,

[Robed Man: Not at all. Well, I best be going. Fortuna-sama, I’ll see you soon]

[Fortuna: Thank you for everything, as always. ......And sorry, Geuse]

Faintly smiling at Fortuna’s parting words, the man she called Geuse rejoined the party as they gradually left the forest.

Seeing them off until the last of them was out of view, Fortuna dropped her shoulders with a sigh. Then, she clapped her hands, drawing the attention of everyone present onto herself,

[Fortuna: Now, let’s hurry and get everything distributed. Please share them out as usual. I’ll go fetch Emilia]

[Emilia: ――――!]

Seeing the adults and children proceeding to transport the goods as per Fortuna’s orders, Emilia practically flew down the tree and sprinted towards the Princess Room as fast as her legs could take her.

She squeezed her tiny body through the gap she’d used to escape, and despite getting cuts all over her skin, Emilia managed to get inside. But, once inside, she was horrified to realize that her wretched appearance looked nothing like that of a good girl who had obediently waited in her room.

Until recently, Emilia had thought that even if Fortuna discovered that she’d went outside and scolded her for it, she’d be forgiven if she apologized and sincerely reflected on her actions.

But, after hearing what she had just heard, that optimism had all but vanished. In fact, Emilia was certain that she had just heard something she was never supposed to hear.

[Emilia: What do I do, what do I do what do I do what do I do]

Mommy Fortuna could come back and unlock the door any moment now. One good look at her, and it wouldn’t take much to figure out that Emilia had sneaked outside.

If Fortuna found out that she had heard that conversation, it’d mean complete and utter ruin for the young Emilia.

[Emilia: At least, I’ve got to hide the scratches......]

There were cuts all over her skin, her knees and elbows were scraped, and some wounds were seeping with blood. There was no way those wounds could escape Fortuna’s sharp eyes, and just the thought of how they’d hurt in a bath was frightening.

She had to do something, but, just when she was immersed in that thought――

[Emilia: ――huh?]

――Emilia saw the pale-blue lights appear in the Princess Room once more, like a sign that she was saved.

The shining particles drifted in Emilia’s vision, captivating her consciousness with their movements before sprinkling onto her body.

[Emilia: ――a, aah]

Just like when they were sucked into the wall, the pale-blue lights sank into Emilia’s skin. As if attacking the young girl’s wounds, they gathered at the various scratches, staining the wounds white with their faint glow―― and, by the time the lights disappeared, only a vague redness remained where the cuts used to be.

[Emilia: ――――]

The inexplicable transformation of her body left Emilia petrified and speechless.

The painful wounds on her elbows, knees, and skin had vanished, and Emilia’s body was restored to the state before her escape.

Realizing this, Emilia took off her clothes and changed into a spare dress in the Princess Room. But then, the torn and shabby clothes she’d just taken became a problem,

[Emilia: I know......!]

Tipping over the bottles of colorful drawing ink, she smudged them all over her torn clothes. And when she had stained them so thoroughly that they could never be washed clean again,

[Fortuna: ――Emilia? Are you awake?]

She heard Fortuna’s voice outside the door and quickly straightened her back.

Feeling her heart violently pounding at the hair’s breath timing, she tried to give some kind of reply, but her throat couldn’t utter a sound.

[Fortuna: Emilia? Did you fall asleep?]

[Emilia: I, I’m up? I’m up, mommy Fortuna. It’s just, I......]

[Fortuna: Oh, so you are awake. Sorry for making you wait for so long......]

As if relieved to hear Emilia’s reply, Fortuna unlocked the door and entered the room. But the moment she walked in, Fortuna’s smile disappeared as she wrinkled up her pretty nose,

[Fortuna: ......What happened? Smells like ink in here]

[Emilia: Uhhm, sorry. I accidentally spilled all the paint...... I got it all over my clothes, too]

Looking at the toppled paint jars in the center of the room, then at the befuddled Emilia behind it, Fortuna held her palm to her face with [Ah gees...],

[Fortuna: Well, there’s no helping it now. Good thing we had spare clothes in here. Otherwise, I’ll have to carry you back naked, you know]

[Emilia: Um, mommy Fortuna...... I......]

[Fortuna: It’s alright, Emilia. There’s no need to be scared, I know you didn’t mean to, so I’m not angry at you. More importantly, are you hurt?]

Crouching down to match Emilia’s height, Fortuna looked her beloved daughter up and down just to be sure. And when she saw there were no obvious injuries, Fortuna spilled a relieved sigh and gently took Emilia into her embrace.

[Emilia: Mommy?]

[Fortuna: No, it’s nothing. I just...... reeaaally missed you, Emilia. I’m sorry. Just let me hug you for a little longer]

Keeping Emilia in her embrace, Fortuna pressed her cheek against Emilia’s.

Normally, Fortuna would always be too embarrassed to make such gestures of affection, so this was very rare for Emilia. Perhaps, it was an indication that Fortuna was truly worried.

And,

[Fortuna: ......such a little troublemaker]

Fortuna softly opened her eyes and muttered as, wrapped in her embrace, Emilia stroked her short silver hair.

But, without heeding Fortuna’s objection, Emilia went on caressing Fortuna’s hair to her heart’s content.

There were so many things she wanted to ask her.

But there was too much young Emilia didn’t know for her to form them all into words, and so, she went on without saying a word.

[Fortuna: Hey, Emilia]

[Emilia: ......hm?]

Watching as Emilia quietly stroked her head, Fortuna narrowed her eyes. Suddenly, in her amethyst eyes that were the same color as Emilia’s, a teardrop appeared.

In a blink of a moment, the teardrop rolled down and dripped off Fortuna’s cheek, but, without wiping it off, Fortuna only looked at Emilia, smiling,

[Fortuna: ――I love you, you know]

There were still so many things she wanted to ask.

――But, right now, those words from her mother was enough, she thought.

※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※

Dragging her feet in the darkness with pale-blue lights drifting around her, Emilia continued on.

Exhausted, sapped of even the strength to walk, she could barely lift her feet off of the ground. But her still-persevering consciousness did not allow her to stop but only continue forward.

Memories from her childhood flashed across her mind.

But why was she remembering them now?

The past Emilia saw in her Trial was slightly different from the past she’d just remembered. The past she remembered was a bit earlier than the events shown in her Trials.

If somehow she could return to that time―― surely, everything would be different.

[Emilia: Mommy, Fortuna......]

Kind, warm, and strong, Fortuna was Emilia’s ideal woman, even now.

She wanted to grow up to be mommy Fortuna, to be just like mommy Fortuna. But every time she was faced with the slightest adversity she’d grow hesitant, vexed, and afraid until it resulted in an irredeemable end.

[Emilia: u......hgu......hk]

Whenever she thought about that irredeemable end, Emilia’s chest would be wracked by unendurable pain.

Sorrow, regret, and agony, overwhelmed by these tangled emotions, Emilia was brought to the verge of tears by her own stupidity, inadequacy, and shame.

Always. She’s always like this.

Frantically, desperately, unreservedly giving her all, Emilia would nevertheless fail to obtain what she truly wanted, or to even touch it.

Even the things she should have had, should have held safely in her hands, slipped through her fingers like sand, enchanting Emilia with their transient glimmer before vanishing into nothing.

Fortuna, Puck, Subaru, it was the same with all of them.

[Emilia: It’s all...... my fault. All because I’m... a bad girl... who couldn’t keep her word...... everyone......]

Sobbing under her breath, Emilia’s feet dragged on.

Amidst the thick, brambled green, sluggish and slow, she pressed on nonetheless.

[Emilia: Everyone tried to hide it from me...... hide it...... but, no. If I could’ve gone on without knowing, if I never learned of...... if I never found out, how much better that would be, and yet...... yet......]

In the forest. The pale-blue lights. The black-robed men. Mommy Fortuna. The giant Black Serpent. The closed door. The snow. The world of white. The world of silver-white. The end, the world that was ending. Father, mother.

[Emilia: Yet I......]

The endless maelstrom of words raced through her head.

Tossed and tormented in its wake, Emilia raised her head and pressed forward.

[Emilia: ――――]

With feeble voice. And faltering steps.

――But not a single drop of tear in her eyes.

-=Chapter 99 End=-