Volume 4, 111 Garfiel’s Barrier

Volume 4, Chapter 111 Garfiel’s Barrier

Even Subaru can see that Garfiel is drowning in injuries.

The bleeding of his innumerable wounds covers his body in crimson, his breathing ragged and his shoulders heaving. Blood seeps from his numerous lacerations, and except for the loincloth-esque garment covering the lower portion of his petite frame, he is entirely exposed.

He has even lost his shoes, standing there barefoot. Subaru lowers his raised hand.

Subaru: “...That's sure not the getup I was expecting for this hello. I figured you were going to be mad, but not that you'd wind up looking like that.”

Garfiel: “Don't worry nothin' bout me. Jus' had a lil' slip n' fall.”

Subaru's cheeks stiffen as he speaks, Garfiel responding with a dissatisfied look.

Garfiel's statement is of course entirely bullshit. Subaru cannot help the bad visions he gets from seeing the guy so wounded.

Garfiel had been speeding around SANCTUARY in search of Lewes, and got wonderfully caught in Subaru's plots for Otto's group to buy time by stalling him.

Subaru can think of only one possible situation where he would wind up having this kind of appearance. That being,

Subaru: “You moron, Otto, I told you to just spew everything and run!”

Garfiel: “Guy was damn brave. He weren't any fuckin' suited fer battle, n' also ain't been in any real fights before. N' then he starts spoutin' this idiot shit 'bout it bein' for a friend... he handed my fuckin' ass t'me.”

With his cheeks twisted in irritation, Garfiel touches the white scar on his forehead.Discover new chapters at novelhall.com

He's had that injury since before this, but was he saying that every other wound of his had seriously happened during his fight with Otto?

Having gone through a fistfight—or really it was too one-sided to call it that, but—having traded fists with Otto, Subaru does understand. Otto is more accustomed to fights than Subaru, but in a world abounding with people who possess ludicrous combat ability, Otto ought to be classified as a noncombatant.

When placed in serious combat against a fighter—against Garfiel, who sits at the very peak of combatants that Subaru knows—there is no way he should win.

And that goes without touching on the fact that Subaru requested only that Otto buy some time through trickery. Nothing more.

Subaru: “...He's not, dead. Right?”

A frigid line of sweat drips down Subaru's forehead.

His worst-case conception is that the scene ended with Garfiel's claws shredding Otto apart. He would like to laugh it off as a needless fear, but seeing Garfiel's state, he cannot.

With how incredibly wounded Garfiel is, it's clear that he was forced into a difficult fight. But still, to demand that Otto under-preform would likely be overwhelmingly selfish.

But, even said, supposing that Otto is dead, it's just pointless. 153

Not Otto's death. It's Subaru's life that stops having any point.

Emilia: “...Subaru.”

Right as he swallows his breath and verges on pessimism, a silver bell calls his name.

These fingers which had before hesitated to touch him, here as his shoulders border on sagging, now touch. This faint sensation contacting him from behind leads Subaru, on the edge of looking down, to stop.

He glances behind him, to find Emilia standing there and looking at him with concern. She still has yet to consolidate the emotions eddying inside her.

This situation where Garfiel is standing here, indignant and covered in blood, must be incomprehensible from her perspective. But she likely has recognized that this was not any mundane affair. In her eyes as she watches Subaru, her concern beats out her anxiety.

Subaru: “Don't worry, Emilia. My bad for being pathetic. ...I just remembered who it is that's standing behind me, so I'm calmed down now.”

Supported by her gaze, Subaru gives a deep breath out before turning back to face Garfiel.

The entrance of the tomb sits on a sight incline, so Subaru is looking somewhat down at Garfiel. Garfiel's posture as he slouches is poor, his sharp gaze piercing through Subaru with enough intensity to practically kill him.

Garfiel: “Looks like while my amazin' self was rushin' around, yer bastards sure went pullin' whatever the fuck shit yer wanted. Fuckin' sneakin' sneakin' sneakin' sneakin... eh? What's that? Yer didn't fuckin' know my amazin' self hates these dirty fuckin' tricks?”

Subaru: “I didn't know we needed your permission to do stuff around here. Or actually it's obvious that's the kind of character you are so I did know that just from looking at you. Figured you'd be mad, but also figured nothing more than that'd happen.”

Garfiel: “Eh?”

Garfiel's stance is one of intimidation, but Subaru just replies with a shrug. Perhaps because Subaru's statement carries no more effort spent psyching himself up than usual, Garfiel scrunches his nose.

Looking down at Garfiel's annoyed expression, Subaru's face tightens.

Subaru: “Garfiel. What happened to Otto.”

Garfiel: “He went n'pulled all that nice fuckin' bullshit on me... n' so my fangs maim'd'm t'bits n' now his body's out fertilizin' th'forest.”

Subaru: “—”

Garfiel clicks his oversharp fangs as he licks his lips, causing Emilia to swallow her breath. Overwhelming rage emanates from all of Garfiel. That fact alone conveyed how great a fight Otto had put in against him.

As well as the fact that Garfiel had been unable to cut any corners while fighting him. And so,

Subaru: “So he's alive then. The heck, you had me fucking worried... My guts were seriously frozen there wondering if everything'd been ruined, no joke.”

Garfiel: “...Eh?”

Subaru: “But why the hell did he go off doing... couldn'tve been, I mean he said he managed to get Ram's help, did she wind up putting some weird ideas in his head? Sounds like something Ram'd do... I mean she didn't tell us how she'd move at the critical moments.”

Garfiel: “Oi, OI, Fuck off!”

Subaru: “Which means Ram goddamn helped with tearing you up. I mean yeah. No way Otto could do this much solo. The hell. This had me wondering if that damn Otto'd been hiding some secret powers from me, was sorta fracturing my feelings of friendship with him.”

Garfiel: “—Fucker! Th'fuck're you goin' on about! Eh!?”

Garfiel howls in rage, his flood of emotions slamming into the ground, rupturing it.

The earth caves in beneath the force of Garfiel's stomp, creating a crater with him in the centre. Fissures spread across the pit of the crater as its dust wafts around Garfiel, him baring his fangs.

Garfiel: “I fuckin' killed him, that's what I'm tellin' you! Th'guy's gone! He used his mystery blessin' t'get th'forest on his side, fuckin' humiliated my amazin' self with goddamn bugs n' mice. N' at th'end he hit me with some huge magic he ain't got any chance'v actually usin' by himself. N' so... my amazin' self paid my respects f'r th'bastard's fightin' spirit. —Paid him with my claws, n' fangs!”

Subaru: “The forest on his side... Right. So that's another way you can use the BLESSING OF XENOGLOSSY. That ass, hiding something that important from me...”

Garfiel: “N'same for Ram, who th'guy wheedled on! Y'see that Ram, she came'n fuckin' butted int'r our fight, fuckin' attackin' me full force... n' so my amazin' self's fangs chewed her dead too.”

Subaru: “...”

Gritting his teeth, Garfiel buries his face in his hands as he looks up at the sky.

While he wordlessly watches Garfiel's laments, Subaru ruminates over Garfiel's statements.

So yes, Ram and Otto had established a fighting unit, and confronted Garfiel.

Having Ram's assistance, it's possible that they managed to corner Garfiel to the very brink of defeating him. But regardless, the barricade presented by this beastman was thick.

Garfiel: “I ain't got any urge t'chase after th'guys who ran off durin' him buyin' time at th' moment. But I ain't got any thought t'overlook what yer bastards're doin' here either. You get away from there, n' don't get any closer. No one's goin' n' th'tomb any more. My amazin' hands 're tearin' th'thing down.”

Subaru: “You do that, and there'll be no way to break the barrier. ...This SANCTUARY'll be a closed little garden forever, you seriously good with that?”

Garfiel: “'M good with that. Everything 'cept that is bad.”

With that statement, Garfiel's feet lead him out of the crater and toward the tomb.

His gait loses all sign of doubt, communicating that he will not hesitate an instant to make the deed the just stated a reality.

Bloody and fraught with total injury—but even in this state, an extreme disparity in strength exists between Subaru and Garfiel.

Even with all his wounds, the ability of the man named Garfiel far exceeds that of Subaru.

Both his creation of the crater and the rancour emanating from him make that obviously clear. However,

Emilia: “I-I, am not letting you do that!”

Subaru excepted, there exists yet another person present here to block Garfiel.

Emilia steps forward from behind Subaru, standing in Garfiel's way as he attempts to close in on the tomb. Garfiel looks up at her, unimpressed.

Garfiel: “What, oi. Get outta my way, y'flimsy woman.”

Emilia: “No, I will get in your way. I'm not letting you destroy the tomb. Because no matter what, I'm going to overcome the TRIAL.”

Garfiel: “It's damn obvious yer can't do it. Day after fuckin' day yer wah wah wah wah cryin' all over th'damn place. N' now yer lost yer friends, can't help that yer gonna be sad. Go curl up n'bed n'fuckin' cry. Y'do that, and I ain't doin' nothin.”

Emilia: “—hk”

Sorrow flashes over Emilia's expression in response to Garfiel's cruel statement. But said expression only last for an instant as Emilia immediately swallows down the pain.

Emilia: “I'm sorry, but even if you say those things, I can't step back for you. I need to challenge the TRIAL. And then face my past, and...”

Garfiel: “Just goddamn fuckin' everybody!”

Cutting in halfway through Emilia's statement, Garfiel clicks his tongue in irritation, fury blazing in his eyes.

The grisly pressure he expels compounds in intensity, Emilia's shoulders trembling. Seeing her fear, sharp-eyed Garfiel snorts.

Garfiel: “What happened t'that blusterin' 'bout yer past? Th'second yer scared of my amazin' self, all goddamn chance is gone yer ever gonner get over what yer most afraid of. —No one can do anythin' 'bout that shit. The witch just does this malicious crap so she can goddamn laugh at people.”

Subaru: “Well isn't that a disparaging invalidation of the witch.”

Garfiel: “Eh?”

Garfiel shifts his blazing gaze from Emilia to Subaru, and jabs his finger at him.

Garfiel: “What? Yer sayin' yer wanna fuckin' protect that asshole witch? They say NO MORNING OR AFTERNOON FOR POTOTSK, but is yer fuckin' stinkin' self just whole out that witch's slave, eh?”

Subaru: “—”

Subaru shuts his mouth.

Garfiel's brows furrow in puzzlement, but he does not seem to understand why Subaru has gone silent.

The witch sleeping in the tomb is ECHIDNA. And the witch's miasma enfolding Subaru belongs to the WITCH OF ENVY.

Only informed to some marginal degree, and unable to smell the miasma himself, Garfiel's comprehension of the situation is not great enough to recognize that discrepancy.

And having had his spirit broken after challenging the TRIAL only once, Garfiel does not even understand the meaning of Echidna's TRIAL.

Subaru: “You're just half measures about everything, Garfiel.”

Garfiel: “...Fuck you'd just say?”

Putting together all of Garfiel's statements and actions thus far, this is how Subaru appraises him. Garfiel responds to Subaru's curt words in low, threatening voice. But even while faced with this looming and ghastly pressure, Subaru looks him in the eye without fear.

Subaru: “It's something you were unable to do, so others'll also be incapable of it. That's how I think, so undoubtedly you're that type. —How awful've you let your complacency get?”

Garfiel: “...”

Subaru: “Yes, you're right, Emilia has failed the TRIAL multiple times. That she's been forced to watch a past she doesn't want to see and came out bawling afterwards is another thing I can't deny. When Puck left she lost it to a revolting extent, and I can't even assert she's righted herself yet.”

Garfiel falls silent as Subaru jerks his chin toward Emilia, who stands beside him.

Emilia looks at Subaru in surprise at these sudden comments from him. But, perhaps impressed with Subaru's expression as he voices these unkind assessments, she refrains from interfering. These opinions Subaru was stating were ones that Emilia had already accepted herself. While they definitely ought to be embarrassing for her, they were not statements that she should ignore. Subaru thought her ability to judge that, and face these things, splendid of her despite her weakness. And so,

Subaru: “Maybe challenging the TRIAL won't presently lead to any change. She might lose today as well, and come back crying again.”

Garfiel: “If yer fuckin' know that, then why're yer havin' her, over n' over...”

Subaru: “But, Emilia will challenge it. Countless times. —Unlike you.”

Garfiel: “—hk”

Garfiel swallows his breath.

Seeing exactly how a quiver flashes through Garfiel's sharp gaze, Subaru speaks without fear. And once more, as he stares down directly at Garfiel,

Subaru: “Garfiel. You lost and you ran away, and Emilia is not like you.”

Garfiel: “—hk! Don't, you fuckin' dare, get cocky!!”

Immediately following Subaru's statement, Garfiel shouts in rage, his right foot shattering the earth. The impact of his stomp sends the ground flying aloft. By some unknown logic it takes the shape of a rectangular slab the size of a tatami mat, which Garfiel's left foot shunts into.

The earth block rotates on the vertical at horrifying speeds, wrapping itself in a galeforce wind as it zooms right past Subaru—and slams into the wall aside the tomb's entrance, impacting the ancient structure.

Dust and a section of entangling ivy, of moss and so on, peels away to fall from the tomb wall. They rain upon Subaru's head but he remains unflinching. Emilia's shoulders do hitch up for a moment, but having heard Subaru's statements immediately prior, she does not make any motion to move away.

Seeing the faint but definite bond of trust between the two, Garfiel's eyes shoot open outrageously wide. The gleam in his bloodshot pupils compounds in ferocity.

Garfiel: “Fuckin'! I can't stand either're you! Aauh! Can't stand you! Can't goddamn stand you! With yer fuckin' know-it-all mug! With yer fuckin' unruffled mug! If my amazin' self feels like it, th'two're yer bastards're chunks've gore so mutilated yer won't be tellin' yer goddamn apart! You don't fuckin' know that, huh!?”

Subaru: “I do know. That you're incapable of doing that.”

Garfiel breathes raggedly as he kicks at the earth, voicing threats upon threats upon threats. But his vigorous intimidations no longer have any effect on Subaru's heart.

Subaru: “In the tomb you saw your past. You saw your mother leaving you and Frederica behind in SANCTUARY... did you?”

Garfiel: “—“

Subaru: “That's the reason you're avoiding the outside world?”

Silence is to be taken as a 'yes'.

Garfiel remains silent, looking at Subaru with weakest gaze he's given yet. It could not even be called a glare, this powerless look.

His expression was that of a small child, scared of his secrets being exposed.

Guilt for cutting into another's wounds arises in Subaru's chest. He subdues the feeling, grappling it down, as he presses Garfiel for the truth.

He stabs his finger into the faintly visible wound, forcing the hole wider, letting the blood flow.

Subaru: “Because your mother abandoned you. Because you hate your mother who abandoned you, because you hate the outside world that took your mother, you detest the outside world!?”

His theories from speaking with Lewes.

His advice from Echidna, saying that Garfiel fears the outside world.

The reason that his goodbye with his family remains in Garfiel's heart, and even now stings him as barbs.

Hearing the assertive tone of Subaru's statement, Garfiel frantically shakes his head.

Garfiel: “No! No, nonononononono, yer wrong!! The fuck'd you goddamn understand! Stop runnin' yer mouth like yer know shit!”

Subaru: “That's right! What I said is my imaginings, and what my mouth's running is know-it-all bunk. The only one who can say what you're really thinking is you. If I'm wrong, then what are your actual feelings on this!?”

Force presses down on his lungs. Subaru shows no pained expression as he raises his voice. Showered in Subaru's voice from below him, Garfiel's face stiffens. He looks away.

Subaru: “You rejected Frederica who left for the outside, you bound yourself with the duty to protect SANCTUARY, and you're interfering with people who challenge the TRIAL while they attempt to break the barrier! What is it you're scared of! What is it you fear! So you just hate the outside world!?”

Garfiel: “Yer, all wrong...!”

Subaru: “So you just hate your mother who abandoned you! You challenged the TRIAL, saw yourself being abandoned, and so that's what you're afraid of!”

Garfiel's expression twists in grief.

He lifts his hand from Subaru, uprighting himself in an attempt to escape Subaru's verbal pursuit. But he will not get away.

Subaru reaches out, grabs the back of Garfiel's neck, and pulls him to a stop.

With Garfiel's gruesome, bloodsoaked face within breathing range, Subaru glares at him, presses further.

Subaru: “Answer me, Garfiel! What is it you're afraid of!”

His theory from speaking with Lewes, Echidna's words, Roswaal and Frederica's attitudes, Ram's expression when she looks at Garfiel—Subaru saw an answer differing from all of them.

If he was right, if this was the truth, then...

Garfiel: “No, my amazin' self's... my amazin'... “

Subaru: “What is it you truly think!!”

Garfiel: “My amazing... mine, mother...”

Garfiel swallows his breath, gazes up at the sky, his fangs chattering as he,

Garfiel:

“—I wanted her to be happy!”

※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※

Garfiel: “We were in the way, weren't we!? Myself and my sister, we were in the way of her happiness, weren't we!?”

Flowing over.

Everything that Garfiel had been holding in until now.

Garfiel: “Well I knew that! She abandoned me and sis. And of course she would!”

Garfiel's reasoning, which he had kept in his heart, never revealed to anybody.

Garfiel: “Couple of goddamn brats she couldnt've wanted, n' ones with demihuman blood at that... of course we'd impede her from living in the outside world! Leaving us behind, throwing us away,

what is weird about that... there ain't nothing... incorrect with that!”

Unable to hide his wavering voice, he buries his face in his hands to hide his wavering eyes.

Garfiel: “I get why we were abandoned. So I don't resent mom for abandoning us! 'S goddamn obvious! Myself and my sis, we were impeding our mom's life! She threw us away, and left SANCTUARY so she could be happy!”

While still young, Garfiel had seen his mother off as she left the two of them behind and exited SANCTUARY.

He could not have understood what he felt back then. But the feeling had laid its roots in him, grown inside him over a long span of time, and bloomed into a single answer.

Being: His mother had just abandoned them.

However,

Garfiel: “But y'know, that night... I, saw it. There in th'tomb, in the TRIAL, I saw it. I saw it. S-she, left us, and left SANCTUARY, and... right then, right after she left, her carriage got caught in a landslide, swallowed in the dirt and she just died...”

Subaru: “—!”

Garfiel: “Sis doesn't know... Sis fucking thinks mom's off somewhere, forgotten about us and living a happy life. ...But reality's not that! Mom, the second she abandoned us! She died!”

Fragments of the truth, sobbed out of Garfiel's mouth.

The harshness of it overwhelms both Subaru, aware of the circumstances, and unaware Emilia.

Garfiel remains before the silenced two, head still buried in his hands, his breathing ragged with his weeping.

Garfiel: “She just damn died... she never got to be happy...”

Subaru can give no reply.

Garfiel: “Why? But you know she left for the outside so that she could be happy?”

Emilia can give no reply.

Garfiel: “But you know she left us because she wanted to be happy?”

Neither Subaru nor Emilia can give Garfiel any reply.

Garfiel: “She abandoned us, but if she never got to be happy and just immediately died, then...”

The unanswerable questions stream from Garfiel's mouth.

And surely—

Garfiel: “What are we meant to do about our sadness, about this feeling of being thrown away?”

—These questions had always, always chorused eternally inside his heart.

Garfiel: “I wanted mom to be happy!”

Power comes to his teary voice.

Garfiel draws his hands away from his face, gritting his teeth as he pauses.

His fangs could crack. His canines could tear through his lips.

Garfiel: “The sadness we felt! And the loneliness of being disowned! It was meaningful because it was for her happiness, that's what I wanted to think! I wanted to be able to hate mom!”

Having lost any harbour for his feelings about his mother, Garfiel's heart has been trapped inside SANCTUARY.

Without anything to strike against, his emotions had been the fuel to keep aflame the blaze consuming his soul.

Garfiel: “But mom just died! Me and sis, we had a sad experience and that was it. Mom didn't get to be happy at all, heavy rocks and sand buried her, she died in agony.”

Having reached this conclusion, there amid the smouldering ashes inside him, Garfiel decided.

Garfiel stands up. He draws away from Subaru.

He looks up at the tomb, and in a low voice,

Garfiel: “—I ain't ever going t'the outside world.”

His voice shakes.

In rage, in sorrow, in vestiges of fury, the flame still blazing even now.

Garfiel turns around.

He looks down at the fallen Subaru, and clicks his sharp fangs.

Garfiel: “Desertin' th'place and going outside ain't going to give you happiness! Trying to change anything comes accompanied with pain, and not everybody can withstand that hurt!”

Subaru: “—”

Garfiel: “There's shittons of hopeless people out there! This place's full'v'em! What'm I meant to do! Just make them sacrifices for happiness, and give them sad experiences?! Just be like my sis?!”

Subaru: “—”

Garfiel: “I will—my amazin' self will—protect them.”

He clenches his fists.

His howling stops, his eyes hosting quiet determination as he pauses.

Garfiel: “My amazin' self'll protect them. Everything my hands can reach, my amazin' self'll protect. Protect, protect, protect... never ever lose anybody... never let anyone experience anything like what my mom did!”

Not anger, not sadness, prompts Garfiel's heart to tremble.

Neither Subaru, nor Emilia, can move when faced with these feelings of Garfiel's. Garfiel spreads his arms wide, turning his back to the tomb, and shouts.

Garfiel: “I'll be the barrier! A real one, dividing inside and outside, a barrier!”

Subaru: “Garfiel...”

Garfiel: “I! Will! Protect SANCTUARY, protect everyone! Protect nanna! My amazin' self's the only one who can do it! My amazin' self's the only one who knows it! And it's fine for them not to know!!”

Garfiel's nigh bloody scream, his resolve, his determination.

Faced with that, they cannot speak.

Garfiel has steeled his resolve entirely.

And so,

Emilia: “—Subaru.”

Subaru: “It's okay, Emilia.”

Emilia calls out to Subaru as he stands up, steps forth.

He gives a wave of his hand to her concerned voice as he approaches Garfiel.

The two face each other, mutually between an arm's reach.

Words would no longer stop Garfiel.

And so, there was only one thing to do.

Subaru: “You goddamn stubborn, oblivious bastard...”

Garfiel: “—”

Subaru: “I understand your resolve. My assumptions'd been wrong. And your assumptions are wrong too. And so... I'll go and rectify them.”

Garfiel stoops down slightly, his arms dangling at his sides.

Although he may look undefended, an abnormal and ghastly aura emanates from him as he takes this serious battle stance.

Subaru raises his hands to take his own battle stance, as well.

With Garfiel as his opponent, having determined that words will not work, to fight him on his turf.

Subaru:

“I'll force you into absolute surrender, and teach you. —That you're a kind, weak, stupid idiot!”