Chapter 360

Chapter 360

Lord Husband, is... is this position c-correct?

No. Not even a little. Still, the sight of my voluptuous concubine posted on all fours has my heart racing and mouth dry, her head bowed, eyes closed, and arms trembling. Suppressing my inner sadist, I ignore the urge to criticize or castigate and stick to offering instructions. Spread your knees and lower your behind.

Knees still locked together, Luo-Luos plump butt drops a centimetre or two before rising higher than it was before. Like this?

Its amazing how someone so gorgeous can look so awkward. You know, this would be easier if you opened your eyes. And could see how ridiculous you look.

Visibly flinching at the mild criticism, she whispers, But... Luo-Luo is scared, shes never done this or anything like it before...

I cant believe I gave up my nap for this. Choking back the mother of all sighs, I go against my drill sergeant instincts and try a kind and supportive tone. Look at me. Hazel eyes brimming with tears, Luo-Luos chest shudders as she fights to hold back her sobs, so wretched and terrified it makes me question my motives. Am I in the wrong here? No, I made the suggestion, but she didnt want to wait, all but begged me to start right away. I know this is new and different, but you can do this. Theres nothing to be afraid of. You wont get hurt, I promise.

She might get hurt, but if she does, shell have no one to blame but herself. Its no big deal though, Taduks yurt is a short walk away and hell have her fixed in a jiffy.

Its just... Hes so large, its intimidating...

Yea, hes bigger than most, but its not about size. Whats that youre trampling on? Oh, its just my pride, no big deal. He has a sweet and gentle temperament, the perfect choice for your first. Its not like shes some dainty little girl either, I have to look up to see the bottom of her chin. This might be new to you, but hes done this thousands of times before. He knows how this goes, so trust him okay? Resisting the urge to force her legs apart, I repeat myself once more. Now spread your knees, lower your behind, and enjoy the ride. Noticing her white-knuckled grip, I frown and add, Loosen your death grip, will you? Hes tender there. No need to clench or tug.

Five minutes later, Luo-Luo still isnt ready to go. Growing impatient, her partner scuffs his feet in protest and the movement sends her into a panic, putting us right back where we started, with her head tucked and ass up like shes ready to dive off at a moments notice. Steadying her with one hand, I mutter more reassurances while Lin and the twins howl with laughter, having abandoned their plans to fly kites in favour of watching Luo-Luos humiliating ordeal.

When her laughter dies down to a mere giggle, Lin skips over to lend a hand, squeezing herself under Luo-Luos arms to join in. Dont be scared Luo-Luo, its really easy and a lot of fun, ya? Gently straightening her back while sitting on Luo-Luos thighs, Lin uses her body to guide the taller woman into a proper posture, not quite sitting upright, but close enough. Stop squeezing so hard with your calves, he doesnt like it. Isnt that right Mafu-fu?

Letting loose with an aggrieved squeak, Mafu lowers his head and massages his cheeks, a sure sign of frustration if Ive ever seen one. Utterly vexed by his clumsy new rider, my poor, sweet quin has been snarling so much his face is tired. Wrapping one arm under his chin, I pull him close for a nuzzle and silently apologize for putting him through this harrowing ordeal. A less tolerant quin would have already thrown Luo-Luo off, but Mafu is a veritable saint, though even his patience is wearing thin.

My poor, sweet, chubby floof. Upon Zabus return, Mafu has been relegated to backup quin because, and it pains me even to think this, Zabu is objectively a better mount. Unlike Mafu, Zabu is trained to fight and is far more confident amidst the chaos and bloodshed of battle than Mafu will ever be. Granted, Mafu did well enough during my time in Sanshu, but I mostly fought on foot because I knew hed be unreliable. Its not his fault, hes a sweet, gentle quin who loves snuggles and kisses, while Zabu is anger and fury given physical form.

Okay, so I like Mafu a little more than Zabu. Who says Im not allowed to play favourites?

Since Mafu no longer has a rider, I figured hed be a good match for Luo-Luo, because not only does her palanquin move slowly, I feel horrible for the Death Corps soldiers forced to carry it. While I plan on getting her a rickshaw like Taduks so she can travel in comfort, she still has to learn how to ride. She doesnt know how to Lighten so shes too heavy to double up with anyone besides Lin or maybe Alsantset, which means its best if Luo-Luo knows how to ride on her own. Most importantly, I thought itd help her feel more included and less isolated from the family and the Bekhai as a whole.

Fifteen minutes into our first lesson, I wholeheartedly regret everything.

Seriously, its not fucking rocket surgery. All she needs to do is stop screaming and sit her ass down on the quin.

Seeing Lin make actual progress with the lesson, I leave them to it and take a seat in the grass, close to but not beside Li Song. Tali and Tate bring their quins to join in on the fun, Pafu and Surets adolescent pups bounding about the clearing while the cackling twins cling on for dear life. The bears and wildcats also enter the fray and Mafu voices his displeasure with a piteous squeal, announcing his desire to throw Luo-Luo off to go play, but Lin signals for him to hold steady and the obedient quin stands in place. Staring at me like I abandoned him on the side of the road, Mafus head dips in misery as he lets out a mournful, heartbreaking squeak.

Im so sorry Mafu. Daddy still loves you.

Wifey is a much better riding instructor than I am and soon enough, she guides Mafu out on a slow walk while keeping Luo-Luo calm with reassuring pats and smiles. The two ladies make for an odd-looking pair, but theyre becoming fast friends, which isnt exactly a surprise. Lin gets along with everyone, a bright, cheery, lovably young woman who can make even the surliest of grumps Guan Suo crack a half-smile. So vibrant and full of life, my wifeys appearance never fails to brighten my day and I dont know what Id do without her.

In comparison, every time I see Luo-Luo, my mood goes into a nosedive. Ill admit shes easy on the eyes, but looks arent everything. I have never met anyone so smart, yet so inept. It took her less than five minutes to learn the number system but she still needs help changing her clothes. Shes wearing a wide-sleeved blouse and loose, flared pants, what could she have possibly needed help with and why did it take so long? Does she have to stitch herself into the clothes or something?

Maybe Im not being fair, but I cant see her as anything besides a pampered, spoiled, grown-ass brat. Sure, she plays music and reads poetry or whatever, but what use is any of that? Can she defend herself from bandits with a song, or convince the Defiled to leave with a poem? Even Lin, spoiled as she is, has the skills to survive on her own, but if I left Luo-Luo alone for a full day, Id probably find her cold, lifeless corpse lying right where I left her.

Lord Husband is smiling. Beaming in delight, Luo-Luo fills my cup, then her own, before asking, Would he care to share his thoughts?

He would, but he doesnt want you to burst into tears again. Err... No, Im okay. Grasping for a topic to fill the now-awkward silence, I ask, So...What havent you told me about the Legate?

Choking on her tea, Luo-Luo coughs and sputters to clear her throat, a most suspicious reaction to my probing question. Once recovered, she tries play if off and asks, Whatever do you mean?

Cmon. You told me not to trust him, because no Imperial does anything without an agenda, and I quote, much less one with a title formidable as Shen Zhenwu. Sounds innocuous enough, but Im thinking theres more to the Legate than youve let on. I was too distracted with Inky to notice at first, but after sleeping on it (twice) and deliberating her choice of words (for a very, very, long time), I asked Taduk about it and he said I should ask Luo-Luo.

So... here we are.

Deliberately placing her teacup aside, Luo-Luo folds her hands on the table and leans forward so were eye to eye. Quashing my irritation, I study her expression as she carefully answers my question. Luo-Luo apologizes, but she has nothing to say regarding Lord Husbands Patron or his identity. Giving me a knowing look, she adds, But we, as a people, venerate strength, so a title like True Warrior would not be given lightly.

With nothing else to add, Luo-Luo excuses herself to prepare for our cast iron business meeting/dinner with the Yo family, while I settle down for a nap and carefully consider her warning. If she didnt know anything about the Legate, she wouldnt have to answer in such a roundabout way, which means...she knows something, but cant say it, right?

I also noticed she never calls him the Legate, always referring to him as my Patron or Shen Zhenwu. This seems important because shes incredibly particular about titles. Even though I asked her not to, she still calls me Lord Husband, so from her perspective, Legate is too humble a title for Shen Zhenwu. Hes a bigwig, but what I want to know is: how big is he really?

...

That didnt come out right...

As for the last bit, she brought it up before, but I chalked it up to standard noble conceit. I guess the Legates Martial skills are the real deal, which means his concerns regarding my diminished Natal Palace are more serious than I thought. What benefit does a bigger Natal Palace bring? How does one even measure a Natal Palace? I mean, technically, its a mental construct, so its size is hardly stable. When Baledagh was around, it went from palm-sized to village-sized in the blink of an eye, because I liked to pretend we each had our own separate spaces. Then again, its not like it was village-sized to begin with. When I first formed my Natal Palace, it was no bigger than my bedroom, while the rest of the manor had to be manually created each time I popped in.

It was a... hardware issue, I guess. I had the RAM to create the manor, but only enough hard-drive space for a single room. Every time I left, the system would reset and wipe the RAM. Afterwards, my Natal Palace would revert to a one-room construct, because thats all I had saved on the hard drive. Leaving Baledagh in there kept the system from resetting and wiping everything, but Id rather not create another personality unless absolutely necessary. Then again, who knows. Maybe I have enough space on my hard drive to save the entire province now, who knows.

...What the fuck is RAM and why does it wipe on reset? I swear, I remember the most useless things...

At the time, I didnt even know I had a Natal Palace or what that was. I thought of it as my happy place, a memory I used to calm and centre myself. I only built the place up because I enjoyed looking at the scenery and reflecting on happier times. How long did it take to piece together? A year? Two? More? Less? I cant remember, but half a year minimum, and I didnt notice a change in strength, at least not anything I can attribute to a bigger mental playground. Maybe its not about the size itself, but a larger Natal Palace means youre better at multi-tasking, which means youre better at using multiple Chi skills at once.

Bah. This is all guesswork, especially since I cant pop in to test things out. Taduk didnt have any answers and I havent asked anyone else, but it doesnt matter. I see no reason why bigger is better and theres no shame in having a perfectly average sized Natal Palace, no shame at all.

...Not that I have a small Natal Palace or anything. Im a grow-er, not a show-er. The shrinkage is temporary. Shut up. Why do I have to defend the size of my Natal Palace anyways? The Legate should mind his own business and quit peeping. Divine True Warrior my ass. More like Divine True Pervert. Disgusting.

Whatever. Does it really matter? I should focus on more important things, like finding Balance and Blobby.

As if summoned by the thought, Taduk lets himself in without knocking. Rain my boy, Ive decided. Well give the octopus his stone. Come, come, we mustnt tarry. Finally noticing Im tucked into bed, Taduk places his hand atop my forehead and asks, Are you feeling all right, my boy? Its not like you to nap.

Yea, well, depression is real exhausting. Im fine, Teacher. Thanks. Lets go see an octopus about some Algae.

I could really use a win right now, especially if its Blobby back in my corner. At least then I dont have to worry about going full-Defiled.

... I wonder what the Legates doing about the Canston Trading Group winery?

Chapter Meme