Chapter Ninety: Long Awaited Reunion

Chapter Ninety: Long Awaited Reunion

After a hearty breakfast, I had a quick chat with Valith. After sending her on a brief, easy mission to get a note to Sandrel via the eyes he always had on us, then seeing Karina, Jayme, and Tiana off, I found my way to the library.

Serena was still on Rhallani duty since Safina was practically hibernating upstairs still. Did dragons hibernate? I didn’t know. Safina was definitely making a case for it, though. Either way, my priestess was the only other person currently inhabiting the library alongside its near-permanent resident.

Rhallani currently had the ancient, aged tome carefully opened on a stand surrounded by six journals she was alternating between, writing with a quill in either hand. When she looked up and saw me, her face lit up in a way that never failed to warm my chest.

“Zaren!” she said, replacing her quills in their inkwells. She hopped up with a stretch, then skipped over to give me a kiss. “I think I’m making some headway finally. I feel like I’m on the verge of getting the alphabet figured out.”

“Good to hear. Not overworking yourself, I hope?” I asked, raising brow at Serena.

She laughed. “She’s certainly trying. I’ve had to practically force her to take breaks twice already.”

Rhallani rolled her eyes. “They were just nosebleeds, hardly a big deal.”

I wrapped on arm around her. “Nosebleeds are mildly terrifying when you’re translating otherworldly languages, Angel. Let us fuss, will you?”

She leaned into me. “Fine, fine. You’re here for Stella’s stuff?”

“Yep. You mentioned she had a plan on how to get it to her?”

Rhallani strode over to a table covered in a sheet with an open top crate next to it. “She’s been experimenting with some logic she came up with after examining Nell all night and came up with some autonomous enchanted mice that have been mapping out the tunnels connected to her workshop.” With a wide grin, she held up a little clockwork mouse small enough to fit in the palm of her hand. “She found a route to us early this morning.”

My brows rose. “That’s handy. Even back in the old days we never had a decent map of the underground.”

“Here’s the map she’s worked out so far. Being able to see through Festus’s eyes is has been super handy.” I pocketed the folded up slip of paper she gave me. “Elisa already made most of the moving parts for our little project, and I’ve got the runes I think will work inscribed, I just need Stella to actually cast and make the magic pieces. Thanks to her, this project will take days instead of weeks.”

“That’s good to hear. Jack needs a win.” Lately I’d gotten the impression she’d been struggling. Being around me and the others but not being able to touch any of us was starting to get to her.

Serena made a sound of agreement. “She definitely needs a nice long hug.” As if to prove her point, she wrapped around my arm and leaned her head on my shoulder. “And a good night’s sleep.”

“And a good fuck,” Rhallani added. “Speaking of,” she hopped up to sit on the desk and crossed her legs, then waggled her brows at me, “you’ll be spending some time with Stella today.”

I fought the urge to roll my eyes and started putting the materials Rhallani had collected in storage. “I hardly know her, I don’t plan on sleeping with her. Especially not as long as she’s basically incarcerated in the basement of a brothel.”

That earned a huff from her. “You know she slept in your jacket last night? Just your jacket? All snuggled up in it. I wish I could show you the image Festus sent me. It was adorable.”

Adjusting myself would only prove her point, so I settled for facing away from her while I banished the crate. The part of me that ached to claim Stella, to bring her back to my home and ensure she didn’t have to live in fear like she did now, liked that very much. But I only grunted in response.

Serena’s fingers trailed down my back. “You like her,” she said. More a statement than a question. “But something is bothering you. Do you not trust her?”

“That isn’t the issue,” I said quickly.

“Implying that there is, in fact, an issue,” she pointed out. When I looked at her over my shoulder, she had one brow raised triumphantly. “One that’s been bothering you ever since you got back from the Silver Swallow.”

I sighed, then leaned against the desk Rhallani was sitting on, keenly aware of their gazes on me. “It’s not something quite so cut and dry. Honestly, it’s the uncertainty that’s half the problem. I’m not even sure I could put it into words.”

Serena went back to leaning on my shoulder, her emerald eyes peering up at me through her lashes. “You could try,” she suggested softly.

I took a second to collect my thoughts, trying to find a concise way to explain the worry that had occurred to me in Stella’s workshop. “I’m...worried. Worried about just how far Allura’s influence goes when it comes to the people around me.”

Rhallani frowned. “Does this have something to do with the shimmers?”

“How could you possibly have figured that out?” I asked.

She just shrugged. “You didn’t have any problem with Safina, but you’ve been avoiding the twins. In fact, me and Tiana are really the only two shimmer’s you haven’t been avoiding.”

I dragged my hand down my face. “Fuck, I guess I have been avoiding them, haven’t I?”

Serena patted my arm. “Don’t worry, they’ve been too busy sleeping off their heats to really notice. You’ll want to figure this all out sooner than later, though.”

I nodded. She was right. They both were. And after beating my head against the wall for two days, I figured getting their input could help. “Allura had a plan, but I’m guessing something went sideways and threw that plan off the rails considering she’s missing. With the likely connection between the marker and the shimmers, as well as our theory about Allura affecting your classes and skills directly, it only makes since that those of you with shimmers are a part of that plan.”

Unsurprisingly, Serena was the first to understand. “You’re afraid you’re being manipulated into liking Stella?”

I wobbled my head back and forth. “Not exactly. It’s more like I’m worried those of you with shimmers are being manipulated into having feelings for me.” I winced as the words came out, already aware of how Rhallani was going to take it.

Her back went stiff as a board. “You think I only love you because Allura made me?” she demanded, her voice wavering slightly.

“No,” I said firmly. “I wouldn’t trade you for the world, Angel, and Allura has nothing to do with that. Not now, at least. But,” I held a hand up when she opened her mouth to argue, “even you have to admit that we came together a little quickly. Especially on my end. I don’t trust easily, yet you wormed your way in almost immediately.”

She clamped her jaw shut and looked away, and I pressed my advantage. “Plus, with all the research you’ve been doing you can’t tell me story books aren’t chocked full of gods tricking mortals into falling in love. I’m not saying all the relationships I’ve built are built on a lie, but the fear that they are makes me... hesitant.”

There was a part of me that hated the understanding in Serena’s eyes. That she’d seen and heard enough about my past to understand exactly why I hated the idea of anyone having their freedom stripped. Thankfully, that part of me was drowned out by how much I appreciated having her to lean on when I needed it.

Rhallani seemed to understand as well, though not quite to the same extent. She ducked her head. “I guess I can see how you might not want to jump in with both feet then.”

I crossed my arms, covering Serena’s hand on my bicep with my own. “You’re right. I am drawn to Stella. I’m drawn to her in a way not quite like I’ve been drawn to many of you, but it’s similar. Getting her away from the Swallow is still one of my top priorities, but anything past that...” I shook my head. “I need to understand these shimmers. What they mean, both for me and for all of you.”

Rhallani hopped off the desk and walked over to one of the shelves she’d filled. “Literature on souls is painfully sparse in this part of the world, but I can start trying to research it.”

“No, your genius brain is better served working on that tome.” I scratched at the scruff building on my chin. “I sent a feeler out. I used to know someone who might be able to help me, I just need Sandrel to track her down. If anyone mortal on this side of the ocean has the answers, it’ll be her.”

Rhallani nodded, more to herself than to me. “Right. Guess I’d better get cracking on this tome, then. I’m so close, I can taste it.”

“And I’ll go to Stella,” I said, pulling the folded sheet out.

“She’s pretty confident she can have the pieces done by tonight since she’s already started,” Rhallani said over her shoulder as she knelt down by a small chest next to her workspace and started rummaging around. “If you don’t have any other plans, you might as well hang out with her. She’s pretty lonely, even with Festus around. I know you’re all worried and stuff, but—”

“Just because I’m not trying to get into her bed doesn’t mean I don’t want to know more about her,” I said, chuckling as she pulled out a long, oddly shaped object with a flared base. I had a feeling I knew exactly where it was going, and I figured I should leave before I was tempted to help her out.

“Good,” she said, pulling out a jar of what I realized to be lube. “Now shoo, I’ve got things to research and if you don’t leave soon I won’t let you leave at all.”

Serena rose on her tip toes to kiss me. “I’ll take care of her,” she promised. “I love you,” she whispered.

Those three words seemed to dissolve much of the weight I still felt, both from our conversation and from the circles I’d been thinking in for days. “I love you, too. See you when I get back.”

She hummed, then turned to walk towards Rhallani. As much as I wanted to watch, I really did need to get moving. If Rhallani’s plan for Jack came even close to working, I wanted to get things moving as quickly as possible. Not being able to touch Jack was almost as hard for me as it seemed to be for her. I was getting dangerously close to just eating the burns and having Serena fix me up after.

Now I just had to worry about not getting seduced by an adorable little Elf determined to torture me in the most delicious way possible.

# # #

It was far too hot for Allie to keep sleeping, despite how early it was. The tent they had was meant for colder weather, and with the sheer number of bodies inside it was like a furnace. Even Nora, who usually preferred to sleep wrapped around her, had rolled away to give them both space to breathe. Her hand still remained on Allie’s hip, though.

Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she sat up. Rose was still snoring softly, curled up in her bedroll on the opposite side of the tent. The quiet dryad preferred to sleep in the same tent as the rest of them rather than sleeping solo like Kat, but she didn’t like being close enough for anyone to touch her. Not even Therese, as close as they were.

The tall platinum blonde was nowhere to be found, but that was no surprise. She often took last watch since she was often the one to cook breakfast, though Allie would be lying if she wasn’t greatly looking forward to being back in the city where she could wake up next to all of her friends at once. Assuming, of course, Therese and Rose would be interested in getting an apartment with her and Nora. She hoped the answer would be yes considering how close they’d gotten on the last leg of the journey, but there was just enough uncertainty in her gut that she’d postponed asking until the last minute.

The absence that did concern her was Vanni’s. Allie had never met a bigger cuddler, and as it turned out four arms made her the cuddling queen. She was also far from a morning person, and was regularly the last one up. Now that she had control of her own schedule for the first time in years, she seemed to be greatly enjoying sleeping in.

Yet she’d woken even before Allie. And that was assuming she’d gotten any sleep at all. Being careful not to wake Nora or Rose, Allie threw on a shirt and some loose pants and slipped out of the tent. The sun had only recently risen, the sky still shifting from that early morning orange to early day blue. Therese gave her a nod, then gestured towards the edge of camp where Vanni sat with her knees to her chest, all four arms wrapped around them.

Allie couldn’t help but glance towards the city as she approached the Ashra. Amesseria never failed to look breathtaking early in the morning, managing to perfectly hide the corruption and greed that took place inside its walls. As badly as she wanted to be in a real bed with four walls and no asshole Lord hanging over her head, she would no doubt miss the freedom that came with camping outside the capital’s walls.

Kat had been furious when she’d found out her keystone’s had been damaged in the fight. Her stone that would have taken them to the capital was beyond repair, so they’d had to use her next closest one and walk the rest of the way. It had given her time to get to know Vanni outside of Lord Balseron’s estate though, so she wasn’t going to complain.

She sat in the grass next to Vanni, but didn’t break the silence. After some time, Vanni eventually leaned into her, resting her head on Allie’s shoulder. It was only when she sniffled that Allie realized she was crying.

“Vanni?” She wrapped an arm around the Ashra, who nestled into her side. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she said unconvincingly.

Allie rubbed one of Vanni’s biceps. “Come on, talk to me. Was it a nightmare?”

Eventually, Vanni shook her head. “I didn’t sleep last night, so no dreams to speak of.” She sniffled again, then continued before Allie could push any further. “I know it’s selfish, but I don’t want this to end. I don’t want to get to the city. I’m... I’m afraid, Allisandre. Of what’s next for me.”

Allie took one of Vanni’s hands in hers, lacing their fingers together. “It can’t be any worse than what you’ve been through, right?”

Vanni made an unconvinced sound. “In the beginning, back when I hadn’t learned that obedience was the best route, Lord Balseron took me to the Pens in his city. He didn’t leave me there, but he threatened to. They were... gods, they were awful. I’ve never been so frightened in my life. I never disobeyed a command after that, and he said the Pens in the capital were much more impressive.”

Allie found herself surprised by the notion. She hadn’t even considered that as an option for her friend. “We aren’t letting you go to the Pens, Vanni.”

Vanni shrugged, which tended to be a full body thing when you had four arms. “I’m not sure you’ll have much say in it. I may be a demi-human, and I may have been a step above a pleasure slave for nearly all of my adult life, but I’m no fool. You and Nora don’t have the status to take servants, and Therese can only take one, which is Rose. Kat, as an active Chosen, cannot have servants either. My fate will be determined by the man who hired you once he’s satisfied his curiosity.”

Her words made anger surge through Allie. Not just because of the hopelessness in her voice, but because she was right. She’d been so worried about freeing Vanni, then getting her to the capital, that she’d neglected to think about what would happen when they arrived. In all her fantasies, Vanni had been there too. Living with them. Waking up with them. A member of their party. After everything that had happened with Eliya’s memories, she hadn’t bothered to think any deeper than that. She’d just enjoyed being sane with her friends.

Her family.

But now...

“We won’t let things go that far,” Allie started to say.

Vanni just shook her head. “I don’t want to go,” she whispered. “I want to stay with all of you. Nobody’s ever treated me like you all have.”

“That doesn’t have to end. You don’t have to go anywhere, we can find some way to stay together.”

“I’ve been thinking about it since the moment you freed me from him. I’ll forever be grateful for what you’ve done, but it’ll only ever be a dream. I’m too unique. Too rare. Whatever you do, someone horrible will eventually get ahold of me.”

“Why the hood?” Safina asked, crossing her arms. “Got something to hide?”

Allie swallowed past the lump in her throat and stepped in front of Vanni. “Yes, actually, but that’s something we’d like to discuss with the lord of the manor, if—”

“It’s alright,” Vanni said softly, placing a hand on Allie’s shoulder. Keeping her lower arms wrapped tightly around her torso, Vanni stepped forward and, after only a moment’s hesitation, lowered her hood.

Safina’s nostrils flared, and Noelle’s pupils turned to slits. The smaller girl stared at Vanni, and Vanni stared back, neither of them blinking. Everyone froze as the weight of the interaction became clear. There was something behind the way they were looking at one another that Allie didn’t quite comprehend. Not until Noelle made the first move, at least.

She took a step forward and snarled, baring long sharp canines, tense and ready to attack. Immediately, Vanni stepped back and lowered her gaze to the floor. As soon as they broke eye contact, Noelle calmed. She straightened, her pupils widening, and tilted her head to the side. Allie wasn’t the only one holding her breath as she approached Vanni, then started walking around her in a circle.

Then she made a distressed noise that had a growl building in Safina’s throat. “Your wings!” Noelle cried, pressing a palm to Vanni’s shoulder blades.

Vanni just blinked. “I don’t have wings,” she said, her brow furrowed.

Noelle made another distressed sound. “They took them? Like...” She trailed off, but suddenly Allie knew why her wings were so small and scraggly. They’d been taken from her.

But Vanni just turned, shaking her head. “I never had any. I’m a little different,” she said, lifting her lower arms and using them to part the cloak wrapped around her.

In all honesty, other than their skin and their eyes, they couldn’t be more different. Even ignoring the wings versus the extra arms, where Noelle was small and petite, Vanni was tall and curvy. Noelle had hair the color of blood while Vanni’s hair was a more lilac color. But there was something about them, some kind of feral edge to the way they moved and talked, that was eerily similar.

That made Noelle relax instantly. “Good. Come,” she grabbed one of Vanni’s lower arms and started to drag her deeper into the mansion.

“H-hang on!” Allie said, rushing to follow.

“It’s alright,” Safina said, now completely relaxed, falling into step behind them. “Vanni’s pack now.” Then she frowned. “I think.”

“Pack?” Therese asked.

Safina nodded. “Me, Noelle, and a few others, we’ve got real strong instincts from our non-human sides. Innate needs for hierarchy. That stare off was a bid for dominance. Vanni dropped her eyes first, which means Noelle is still in charge. She’s the unofficial alpha of our little group.”

Kat made a choking noise. “Not Zaren?”

Safina laughed. “Zaren’s human, so he’s not really pack, though he belongs to us. Er, according to our instincts, I mean. It’s complicated. We’re working on it.”

Nora gave the Half-dragon an appraising look. “And you’re not the alpha?”

Safina shot her a wide grin. “You wouldn’t bother asking if you’d ever seen Noelle with a battleaxe.”

Noelle dragged Vanni—with the rest of the group following—into a library with mostly empty shelves. In it an Arelim and a blonde human woman sat at a desk covered in books. The blonde’s head whipped towards us and she immediately whispered something to the Arelim that had her scurrying to do something blocked by the chair she sat in, then the blonde rose to stand between the Arelim and the rest of the room.

“Serena’s the human, Rhallani the Arelim,” Safina supplied.

Up close, Serena was utterly gorgeous. Her long blonde hair practically glowed and her eyes were like emeralds. She wore a sleeveless top that revealed a figure that rivaled Vanni’s and muscled arms with a vibrant, beautiful tattoo of flowered vines twining up her left arm. With a painful start, Allie realized that tug in her gut was pulling her right to the woman.

Noelle pulled Vanni right up to Serena, holding out the arm she was still holding on to. “Look!” she exclaimed.

Vanni waved awkwardly. “Um, hi?”

Serena flashed a brilliant smile that was immensely comforting. Everyone in the room relaxed a fraction, and it took Allie a second to figure out why. A soft radiance poured from the woman, so gentle that Allie hardly even noticed it. She was god touched to be sure, but her magic wasn’t nearly as invasive or as in your face as the divine magics Allie had come across.

“Hello, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Serena, priestess of Allura.”

“The sex goddess?” Therese asked under her breath.

If Serena noticed, she didn’t react.

“Holy fucking shit you have four arms,” the Arelim said, lifting the edge of Vanni’s robe. “That is so cool. Kat mentioned you were an Ashai?”

Vanni nodded. “That’s what my interface tells me.”

Kat cleared her throat. “She’s why we’re here. I need to talk to Zaren.”

Serena’s brow arched. “As his partner and his second, I’m happy to hear you out.”

Kat shifted from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable, so Allie stepped forward and wrapped an arm around Vanni’s front. She immediately leaned into Allie with a small sigh of relief, which made Noelle turn her intense gaze on Allie.

“Vanni is important to us, but we don’t have any way to keep her safe from anyone who would be able to abuse the Accords to hurt her. Kat seems to think Zaren would be willing to provide her with a safe haven to call home that isn’t the Pens.

“Of course!” Rhallani said immediately. “A friend of a friend of Kat’s might as well be our friend, right Noelle?”

Noelle looked from Vanni to Kat to Allie. “They are all friends,” she said with a nod, as if that settled everything.

Serena smiled so warmly it made Allie’s gut clench. “Elena,” she said to the Elf Allie hadn’t even realized had been following them, “will you fetch Cynthia please?” Elena left with a bow and Serena turned to the rest of the group. “Zaren should be back shortly, but I know he’ll be more than happy to take Vanni in. You won’t have to worry about her.”

“And will we be allowed to... visit?” Therese asked, keeping a silent Rose close to her.

Her question seemed to take Serena by surprise. “Visit? That won’t be necessary. Zaren gives as much freedom as he possibly can to his servants. I’m sure he’ll advice caution, since Vanni’s appearance will put her at risk, but she’s no prisoner. This manor is the safest place for her, but if you really wanted to have her stay with you I doubt he’d stand in your way.”

Therese looked as surprised as Allie felt. “He really just lets his servants do whatever they want?”

“Not quite. In exchange for the protection that comes with the collar, he does ask for certain things. No intentionally getting into trouble or putting House Nocht under undue scrutiny, avoiding doing things that openly endanger you or other members of the household, as well as working.”

Nora scoffed. “Protection? And they have to work for it?”

Serena turned that damn weaponized smile on her and Nora looked away. “The work is for pay, and a rather generous pay at that. He refuses to allow anyone under his household to contribute without being properly compensated. And yes, protection. Especially in Vanni’s case. If something were to happen to her, then he has a lot more power to help if she’s wearing his sigil.”

“So we could see her whenever, then?” Allie couldn’t help but ask, tightening her grip on her friend.

Serena inclined her head. “We’d appreciate keeping the midnight arrivals to a minimum, but more or less.”

Therese shot Allie a thoughtful glance. “We could try to find a place in the lower quarter, I guess. It would certainly be cheap, and with three adventurers we could definitely afford it.”

“Oh, oh!” Rhallani said, jumping up from where she’d been writing a moment ago. “What if they became the first adventurers of House Nocht? Then they could literally live down the road!”

“In-house adventurers?” Therese said thoughtfully. “Depending on the contract, that could be doable.”

“Let’s go find Tiana!” Rhallani said. She turned back towards them. “You’ll love Tiana, mainly because everyone loves Tiana, but she’s in charge of the adventurer stuff.”

Allie’s stomach picked that moment to growl, which drew Serena’s eye. That tug yanked in her chest, making her wince. Serena’s eyes narrowed slightly and her head tilted, almost like she felt the pull as well. But the look was gone as quickly as it appeared.

“Come,” she said, “this is a discussion much better had over food. I know the look of adventurers fresh off the road. If you’d like, once we nail things down, we also have some rather nice bathing facilities you’re more than welcome to take advantage of.”

She led the entourage back towards the dining room with another smile at Allie, who kept her arm wrapped around Vanni’s waist while Noelle clung to one of Vanni’s hands. On the way there they were joined by a woman with dark blond hair and eyes like steel, both in color and in the harness of her gaze, followed closely by a curly haired guy struggling to carry a stack of papers and bound books. She introduced herself as Cynthia, then put her head together with Serena and started talking in hushed tones.

When they finally, mercifully, made it to the dining room, there were already a host of people inside. The majority of them were demi-humans, and the energy in the room immediately made Allie feel better. For the most part, there were smiles and warm conversations all around the tables packed with women and a few men sprinkled here and there, next to none of them human. They all seemed so happy, none of them showing even the slightest sign that this would be a bad place for Vanni.

Her eyes were drawn to a curvaceous auburn haired woman that made Serena and Vanni look petite. She saw them coming and stood from where she talked to a human girl and a Seelie, excusing herself and heading towards them. “Who are your new friends?” she asked.

In short order, Serena introduced them and explained the situation. They took their seats and servants brought out plates of decadent looking food and set it in front of them. They ate while they discussed the—frankly, too good to be true—terms of the in-house adventurer contracts. Allie filled her stomach with some of the best food she’d ever had and the plates disappeared.

They talked for well over an hour, hashing out the specifics not only of what the contract with house Nocht would look like, but what Vanni’s role in the household might look like as well. And throughout the discussion, Allie caught Serena stealing glances at her, her eyes narrowed as if trying to recall if they’d ever met before. Allie was reasonably certain they hadn’t, either as Allie or as Eliya, though Rhallani did feel oddly familiar to her.

By the time they were finished, most of the room had emptied out. The sun was setting, and the only ones left in the room were Allie’s group, Serena, Tiana, Rhallani, Noelle, and Safina. It was just as Allie was starting to fight away yawns that a feeling like electricity raced through her. She shot up in her seat, earning her a few odd looks, already turning towards the door before it opened.

Then he walked in.

Zaren.

Allie felt torn between weeping, running, and throwing herself into his arms. She waited for him to notice her, to see that she’d actually, against all odds, found her way back to him. But his eye was drawn to the others. To Serena. Rhallani. Tiana. Noelle. Even Safina. All in less than a second, but they were where his eye went first. Then his gaze traveled over the newcomers, though Allie was certain it lingered on her a hair longer than anyone else.

He looked good. No, fuck that. He looked fantastic. Kat had been right. He had more color in his skin than at any point when she’d known him. His cheeks were filled out, his body was covered in a thick, delicious layer of muscle, and he walked with a smooth confidence that made tears spring to her eyes. Those beautiful sapphire eyes held so much life, so much fire in them. He was so far from the anxious, gangly, overthinking kid she’d once known, even if he barely looked any older than the last time she'd seen him.

And it was wonderful.

“Welcome,” he said, his voice deep and smooth. “I’ve gotten a basic rundown of what’s happening, and I’m more than happy to take Miss Vanni on.” He walked around the table, no doubt heading to what must have been several members of his harem, but Allie had lost control of her body.

She stood when he drew even with her and he stopped, turning his attention to her with his brow furrowed. She was partly annoyed and partly grateful when his gaze didn’t rake over her body, never once leaving her face. This close, through both Allisandre’s eyes and Eliya’s, she could feel the power in the way he moved. That he could become a threat in a second if he felt the need. But she wasn’t scared. Not of him. Never of him.

She opened her mouth, but the words died in her throat. How did she tell him the truth? What could she possibly say to convince him that Eliya lived on within her? That she was as much Eliya as she was Allie at this point?

But even that plan went out the window when he turned towards her fully, confusion in his gaze. Of course he didn’t recognize her. Eliya had been short and squat, scarred beyond recognition. Her dull brown hair and eyes hadn’t been anything of note. She didn’t have the boobs or the ass to catch anyone’s eye. Eliya was such a far cry from Allie’s sleek black hair, vivid violet eyes, and stunning figure that he’d never in a million years connect the two of them. All too suddenly, she felt that she had an impossible task in front of her. There was no way she’d ever convince him. That he’d recognize—

“Have we...” he started, tilting his head, “met before?”

Those words broke her. She was vaguely aware of a tear trailing down her cheek, but he didn’t even have time to process that before she was moving. Rising up, capturing his face between her hands, then pressing her lips to his.

It was a chaste kiss, all things considered, but it set her on fire. She was only used to intimacy with women, so the hard planes of his chest and the scratch of his thin beard were a completely new experience to her. He didn’t really kiss her back, stiff and surprised, but she didn’t care. She’d found him. Defying all expectation, she’d found him.

“Uh,” he said as she pulled back, “I’m not sure—”

“I love you,” she said, loud enough for only him to hear, touching her fingertips to the throat she’d never seen without a collar. “I love you, and I’ve been waiting a long, long time to say it Zaren. I couldn’t before, but there’s nothing stopping me now.”

His utter confusion faltered a moment, then his deep blue eyes seemed to glow. Piercing through her. Seeing her in a way nobody but him every had. She felt exposed, as if he was peeling back layer after layer until he could see the truth she couldn’t find a way to put into words. His eyes fixed on her chest, but not as if he was staring at her breasts. She felt something brush up against the very core of her being, still raw and sensitive after being attacked by the man with his glass knife, and gasped.

She wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting. Happiness and elation in the best case, of course, but that wasn’t what happened. His confusion shattered into an expression she knew all too well. One he wore when he’d understood something he wished he hadn’t. The same look that came whenever he puzzled out another of Karn’s schemes. Something dawned on him, and he flinched as if he’d been struck. He staggered away from her, his hand barely managing to grab hold of the chair she’d been sitting in a moment ago. This time when he looked at her, there was far too much emotion in his eyes.

When he whispered a single word, his voice ragged, her knees nearly gave out underneath her.

“Eliya?”