CH 6.9

What can I be? The current me could be nothing, but what will the future me be to be next to Yeon Woojeong?

“I have nothing I want to do.”

“You will have it.”

“What should I do if I won’t have it?”

Yeon Woojeong’s gaze stayed on me for a moment then left me.

“It’s not that you must have something you want to do. And you don’t need to set your standards too high. For example, if you think you want to go somewhere with me, that’s also something you want to do, right?”

Yeon Woojeong lightly loosened the talk which I regarded as heavy. I stared at him. It was a highway, so even if Yeon Woojeong felt my gaze, he couldn’t look back, so I didn’t hide that I was looking at him.

“But later, once you have something you want to do, do your best.”

There were a lot of things such as money and time that limited me from doing everything I wanted, but if I brought it up, Yeon Woojeong might laugh it off. Is he perhaps planning to take care of such worries too? Since he is my guardian?

Guardian. The more I thought about it, it was a weird and wonderful word. In a sense Yeon Woojeong protected me. Is there anyone who picks up a stone and then protects it?

If, if in any case, I make a lot of money, will Yeon Woojeong not be my guardian anymore at that time? If so, then I want to be his guardian. Is that weird?

The car that was driving on the highway drifted into a rest area in the middle. 

“I’m not hungry.”

“What about the restroom?”

“I’m fine.”

“Okay.”

Yeon Woojeong got out of the car. I thought he wanted to go to the restroom, but he walked to the place where the food was sold. What’s going on? I looked at him, and he, who hung around there, came back while holding something in both hands.

Yeon Woojeong, who opened the door and got in, handed me what he held in both hands. One was a potato, one was a walnut cake. I wasn’t hungry, but my mouth watered because I smelled it. 

“Eat. We’re going on a trip, so this kind of fun is a must.”

I opened the package and put my hand in, but then stopped. I took out a walnut cake, and when I reached it out to Yeon Woojeong, he stretched his head. I pulled back my hand unconsciously. He then lifted up his eyebrows. (TN: Korean walnut cake is walnut size.)

I was thinking of giving it to his hand. However, when I looked at his clueless face, I didn’t want to do that. When I put it into his mouth, Yeon Woojeong bit the walnut cake and pulled out the car. Touching the fingertip that touched his lips, I also put one into my mouth.

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It was a different experience to see the sea from a moving car. It was not the first time I’ve seen it, and even though it appeared on TV a lot, my heart swelled up for nothing. I turned my head because I wondered if Yeon Woojeong also felt the same, but sadly, he could only look forward since he was driving.

It wasn’t a bright sky and a glittering sea. The sky was cloudy, and the sea was dark. However, it was snowing white. The snow, which melted in Seoul, gradually piled up here.

The parking lot was right next to the beach. After the car pulled in, I got out of the car and walked. The snow covered where the sand should have been. I threw back my head. The snow that kept falling down landed on my eyelids. The moment I wiped my eyes, it turned dark above me.

Yeon Woojeong, who spread a black long umbrella, stood side by side next to me.

“It’s also my first time to see snowfall in the winter sea.”

Talking as if muttering to himself, he stared at the sea. I thought I would like to see the current sea if it was reflected in his eyes.

This kind of sea was the first for both me and Yeon Woojeong. Yeon Woojeong told me that the habit of being obsessed with the first is bad, but is there any person who hates this kind of feeling?

He and I walked side by side. The snow was stomped on with a crunching sound. The traces of him and I were carved in a white space that no one stepped on. I stepped on his footprints as he moved one step further. Somehow, I felt an unknown joy.

When we got to the halfway point, Yeon Woojeong stopped.

“Thanks to you, I came far to this place.”

“Why is it thanks to me?”

“Because I would have been sleeping at home if it’s not for you.”

Well. Yeon Woojeong on weekends was extremely lazy. Even though he woke up after sleeping all day, he lazied around on the sofa. Our weekends were only about him going out to the living room and I sat quietly next to him.

The snow fell into the sea. It was about the size that I could hold if I reached out my hand. I heard laughter from the right side. There were two women having a snowball fight.

This moment felt just like an illusion. The snow drenched the air, and everything calmed down. Yeon Woojeong and I looked at the same sight for a long time.

“Wait a minute.”

The vibration broke the mists of time. Yeon Woojeong took out his phone from his coat, then handed over the umbrella to me and walked away.

Snow was piling on one of his shoulders. I stared at it for a moment, then I followed Yeon Woojeong and handed over the umbrella to him, who was having a call. He glanced at me while talking about something on the phone. I just put the umbrella into his hand and walked away.

I approached the sea with placid waves. The snow fell on top of me, but it was okay. It would be uncomfortable if it melted immediately, but because it melted slowly in a piling state, it wasn’t bad.

When the waves came, the water reached my feet and then backed off. When the water receded, I took a step forward, and when the water came, I took a step backward. I tried to concentrate to match the time for the water to come.

“Excuse me.”

As I turned my head at the call, it was the women who were having a snowball fight earlier. One of them reached out her phone while smiling.

“Could you please take some pictures of us?”

I took a glance behind me. Yeon Woojeong was on the phone with his back showing. When I accepted the phone, the woman turned on the camera.

“You can just click on this. Please take the picture with a lot of sea inside.”

I took a few steps back and held the phone horizontally. I adjusted the position so that the women who linked their arms and drew V with the remaining hands came out in the middle, and then pressed the shooting button in succession.

When I wondered if it was already enough, they approached me. Once I handed out the phone, the women checked on the pictures and nodded.

“Thank you.”

“Yes.”

“By the way, are you alone?”

“No.”

She nodded after looking behind me. And then she giggled at me.

“There is a lot of snow.”

“… Yes.”

“Where are you from?”

I didn’t know what to do whenever someone I saw for the first time asked this kind of question. Well, they didn’t look like they had bad intentions, but it was suspicious. On the streets of Seoul, these people were just members of a cult.

“Oh, we are from Seoul.”

“I see.”

Since the conversation had ended appropriately, I had to walk away. When I took a step back,

“I’m sorry…”

There was a weight on my shoulder.

“This friend has to go now.”

Yeon Woojeong put his arm around my shoulder with a smiling face. He tilted the umbrella toward the women.

“Ah, you are with your brother!”

“Do you want us to take a picture of you?”

I was looking at Yeon Woojeong’s hand, which was holding the umbrella, but then he turned his head to look at me.

“It’d be nice if you take it.”

Yeon Woojeong handed over his phone and the umbrella. He dragged me to the front of the beach with his hand on my shoulder. I looked at Yeon Woojeong, and he whispered without looking at me.

“You should look ahead.”

I had no choice but to look ahead at that voice. The woman, who was holding Yeon Woojeong’s phone, counted. One, two, three. At the last count, the hand on my shoulder grabbed me stronger. I stared at the phone’s black camera through the fluttering snowflakes. They smiled while looking at us as if it was them getting their picture taken.

“It came out well.”

They ran this way. Yeon Woojeong looked at the picture and smiled. He showed it to me, but I didn’t take a look and accepted back the umbrella.

“I’m hungry,”

At my urging, Yeon Woojeong checked his watch and bowed to the women.

“Thank you.”

“Ah, we’re thankful, too.”

I walked first, and Yeon Woojeong followed me. When I slowed down because of the umbrella, he put his arm around my shoulder.

“They said I’m your brother. What do you think?”

Brother? I furrowed my brows and looked at him.

“Disgusting.”