EIGHTY-THREE: You A**hole

EIGHTY-THREE: You A**hole

83

Alden breathed a huge sigh of relief when conversation class was over. Lute had refused to talk about the weather and had insisted on playing, Guess how I lost my eye?

It was a game that was not improved by Aldens embarrassment over assuming the eye patch was a costume, nor by Lutes limited Artonan vocabulary.

Do you think my eye is juice like wevvi fruit? Do you think grandma takes it and eats it?

Something is wrong with all the Velras, Alden said as he took the stairs down to the ground floor.

By the end of the period, Lute had been in hysterics, and Alden wasnt even sure the Velra boy had lost his eye. Hed lied about his own name after all.

But he couldnt accuse him of having a twisted sense of humor because what if he was wrong? Again.

Was it the blowback from the gloss?

Lute hadbeen worried at Hannahs funeral that he was going to lose his fingers. Had he lost an eye instead?

He was mad at his grandmother for sure. Even madder than before.

And if the whole thing wasnt just some sick joke, thenyeah. Who could blame him? Aulia lost a council seat, and Lute lost an eyeball?

Alden had frantically tried to look up whether or not human Healers could regrow eyes while Lute joked around. They couldnt. They could fix injuries, but not serious destruction. So it was possible

Youd think the Velras could get an Artonan to grow him a new one. Maybe theyre not as well connected as people think? Or Aulias well connected, but she doesnt share those connections with every family member?

Cant Lute get a bionic?

Alden comforted himself with a peanut butter mousse cup Natalie had made while he took a walk around campus. Konstantin had sent him his official invitation to a party on Friday. Alden was supposed to bring his favorite mocktail ingredients.

He turned toward Celena Circle. The high schools main green space wasnt crowded, but there were a few groups of friends enjoying lunch together on the lawn.

Call Boe.

He swallowed another mouthful of peanut butter before he made his decision about the days conversation topic.

So Ive told you good things about Anesidora and bad things about Anesidora, but today let me tell you something thats just funny. They take mocktails really seriously. And they think thats normal. Like we have coffee shops where nobody bats an eye if you order something with eight ingredients and a specific kind of foam? Theyre the same way about mocktails. Someone asked me what kind of cherries I wanted to garnish my glass the other day, and there were three different choices. Its hilarious. But I could get used to it.

He scraped his spoon against the sides of his mousse container, and when it was insufficient to the job, he gave up and licked it.

I really enjoyed sharing my magic food with Jeremy, he said. And you didnt get any. Because youre a terrible person who ran away from home, and you refuse to answer your phone. Ive left you more than sixty messages. Yes. Im counting.

Im scared for you, jerk. If youre not careful, youre going to get downgraded from best friend to slightly less best friend. Be warned.

In other news, I met another Velra today. This one was nuts, too, but he didnt use his powers to blow a wordchain I was saving for myself. So I think that puts him at number two on my personal Velra ranking list.

I hope youre safe. Im going toto

The insulated metal cup Natalie had packed the mousse in fell from his hand. It clanged as it bounced against the sidewalk, but the loud noise didnt even register. The words scrolling across the bottom of Aldens interface stole every last speck of his attention:

[voice call connected]

Say something. Keep him here.The initial posting of this chapter occurred via N0v3l.B11n.

Boe? Boe, if thats you, please dont hang up. I

Alden, youre alive? Boes voice was a whisper. Are you reallyare you okay?

Alden was so excited, he shouted out loud. Am I okay?! Boe, where have you been? Where are you now?!

ImumI think that Im Boe sounded frazzled. He took several deep breaths.

Are you all right? Alden demanded.

Yeah, Im fine, Boe said. Youre alive. Anddo you have an apartment on Anesidora now? Is that right?

Have you really not been getting my messages?!

No. I havent. I wasare you somewhere private?

Im standing in the middle of campus.

Youre in school? On Anesidora?

Holy crap, he really hasnt gotten a single one.

Yes. Its my lunch break. Who cares? Can you tell me where you are?

Letsokay, Anesidoralets not talk while youre out in public. Go back to your apartment. Call me from there.

Stay on the phone with me! Alden commanded. He was already sprinting toward the nearest bus stop. Dont hang up.

Youre really all right? Boe asked. He was still taking such deep breaths that Alden could hear them. Where were you? Did you get hurt? What happ?

Im fine. Im completely and totally healthy and fine and good. Ive been home for two months. Well, not home. But here on the island, and oh my god, the timer for this bus says its going to be fifteen minutes. Im going to run to another stop. Dont hang up.

how long will it be until you get to your place from wherever you are?

An hour. Maybe a little more if traffics bad. I can find another quiet spot to talk.

Boe didnt say anything for a second, and it was only the call connected notice that kept Alden from panicking and thinking he was gone.

Are you all right, Boe?

Well, Im a lot fucking better now that youre not gone, said Boe. Im sorry, though. I do need to hang up on you

No! Why would you?

I need to collect myself.

Collect yourself while I listen! Alden didnt care how weird that sounded in the heat of the moment.

No, Boe said. Sorry. I need the hour. It would be better if I had even longer than that, so dont break your neck trying to get to your apartment. I was so shocked when I saw your nameI answered before Id even thought it through.

Dont hang up on me! Please! Boe, just mute me or something!

His friend laughed shakily. You made me think you were dead for half a year, you dick. I think you can give me two months and an hour.

The call disconnected.

********

******

Contract Park Middle School

Chicago, Illinois

five years ago

*******

*********

Middle school was going to be different for him.

Aunt Connie had said so, but she didnt have a great track record on the advice front. Counselor DavisCall Me Maggie!had said so, but she was part of the reason elementary school had ended on a sour note. Even Coach Randall had said so, but he had also said he couldnt let Alden play in many games because he sometimes showed up late for practices.

When he didnt know Alden was listening, hed told the assistant coach that it was because the other kids parents always came on game day. And it was a shame if they didnt get to see their children play.

So baseball was out. And counselors who came into the school during the last half of fifth grade and then babied you were even more out.

Everyone had only just started to forget that Alden was the one who got all the careful treatment in third grade. Theyd only just stopped being afraid of the weird, scary kid he sometimes was in fourth. But fifth grade had been going well. The teacher hadnt forced a single heartfelt talk on him, and she hadnt told anyone to be careful of what they said around him.

Then Call Me Maggie had to arrive and be conspicuous about the fact that she considered him to be one of her special students. She was so proud of his good grades! Go Alden!

Like she had anything to do with any of it. The old counselor had been helpful and professional. Shes supposed to be a guidance counselor. Not a therapist. But she just breezed in and acted like she knew all about me, and

No. He wasnt going to get mad about it again. He wasnt going to stew over it. Not any of it. He wasnt someone who did that anymore.

Middle school was going to be different. Because he wanted it to be.

And Hannah Elber had said she was confident in Aldens ability to make it different.

His phone was full of pictures from his day trips to Anesidora that summer. He had been invited to the island by a real superhero. That wasnt something many people could say.

And shed had him back a second time. She had even let him try on her motorcycle jacket.

It didnt give him powers. But she was cool.

Sixth grade was his for the taking. He had a new sky blue backpack hed picked out with Connie during a last minute school supply shopping mission. And he hadnt spent a single night recently thinking about those pictures of Body Drainers bodynever, ever think about those againor staring at message boards and hating people like wakeuptheresbacon for badmouthing his parents.

His tinnitus even kind of went with the music he was listening to on his headphones as he slipped into his new classroom and looked around for a good seat.

I can make it different. I can make myself different. I can be better.

Sorry.

Boe nodded once. That was the entire bus ride conversation.

Maybe its for the best.

Alden wasnt in the mood for talking that day either.

Everyone else was ecstatic to be out of the classroom. When they reached their destination, they broke into small groups and ran laughing from exhibit to exhibit. Alden trailed after them.

By lunchtime, he wished hed just stayed home pretending to be sick.

If you hate the zoo so much whyd you come?

Startled, Alden looked up from the bag lunch hed been picking through. Boe was standing over him with an even more annoyed expression on his face than usual.

Howd he find me?

Alden had elected to sneak away from the group to eat his lunch behind a trashcan, so that he could have a minute to himself.

I dont hate the zoo.

Youve been miserable all morning. Its not like you.

Go away.

You go away.

I was here fir! Oh. Alden stared down at his slightly soggy turkey and cheese sandwich. He swallowed. I do like the zoo.

Boe Lupescu sighed and stalked away.

Great talking to you, asshole, thought Alden. I guess well do it again in a month.

Five minutes later, he heard footsteps that were more like footstomps, and Boe appeared around the trashcan again. He thrust a paper plate with a funnel cake on it under Aldens nose. It was covered in sugar and chocolate drizzles.

Funnel cake. It was less a question and more a command.

Alden would have been shocked if Boe had offered him a pencil stub. An entire fried dessert was

Is it poisoned?

Yes.

Alden took it. Boe sat down beside him.

They ate it in silence. The cake was huge. By the time it was gone, Alden had greasy, sticky fingers. And he felt a lot better.

My parents brought me here right after we moved to Chicago, he said. I think they wanted to make sure we did something fun together as soon as possible, so I wouldnt miss my old school or my friends.

Boe was trying to wipe chocolate sauce off his glasses. He didnt answer.

I have good memories of the trip. Happy, but its not just that theyre happy. Theyre really clear. I remember what I saw here and what my parents said about the different animals. And now they have to be all mixed up with this dayand everyone just wants to talk about poop and how earth animals arent as interesting as alien ones and how the anteaters nose looks like a penis.

Another minute passed.

Alden waited. He thought Boe would probably say nothing. Or maybe something mean. But it would be nice, wouldnt it? If he didnt

My favorite thing about the anteater is that it eats tens of thousands of ants every day, Boe said. Ants suck. And anteaters suck up ants.

Alden smiled.

I wanted to hear the guide talk more about them, Boe added. And I wanted to actually learn about dik-diks, but I couldnt because everyone else was so busy being stupid about the name.

They were really cute.

They were.

The name is

Its hilarious. But people make dick jokes every single day in class. It's not like those are new. Ive never seen a tiny antelope before, and they wouldnt let me enjoy it.

We could sneak off and go back on our own, Alden said.

The other boy looked down at the empty plate on top of his knees.

Or not, Alden added hastily. Wed probably make the teachers mad if they realized. My aunt isnt going to mind if they tell her, butyou knowIm sure your family cares more than

Boe stood up suddenly. Lets go.

Really?

Were still not friends. I cant have friends. Its just for today.

Okay!

Youre not listening. I just want to see the animals without everyone else around.

I get it. Can we go to the Australia section by ourselves, too? They have wombats.

Youre not my friend.

Thats fine. Do you want to come over to my house this weekend?

********

******

F-city

Anesidora

present day

******

*******

Alden remembered how just a couple of months ago, after waking up in the forest, he had sent Boe and Jeremy text messages asking them to give him time to get back home to Earth and settled in before he called them.

It had felt like a reasonable request at the time.

But it wasnt! Being on this end of it is torture. What if I call him in an hour, and he doesnt answer?!

And apparently Boe was still paranoid about having calls overheard. Fair enough. There were people running around in the Informants wearables, and residences like the apartment were supposed to be safe from those.

When the hour was up, Alden was still on a crowded train zipping through F-city, and it was only the knowledge that he would be the worst kind of hypocrite that kept him from calling right that second. All the questions hed had about where Boe was, and the fear that hed been holding back by clinging to Jeremys assurances that he had sounded fine on his last phone call, were welling to the surface.

> a woman with graying hair said in Cantonese. >

Alden realized hed been swaying in place like some anxiety-stricken cobra. He tightened his grip on a handrail and tried to hold himself still.

Just as the train reached the last stop, a text message popped up.

[Whats your ETA?]

Alden felt so relieved he could have melted into a puddle.

[Ten minutes,] he texted back. [At most.]

Because he was going to run.

[Im going through some of your messages now,] Boe wrote. [Sounds like I have to off Jeremy and some poser named Stuart to re-secure my best friend position. Talk to you soon.]

It felt like it took forever to reach the dorms. Then it felt like it took forever for the elevator to reach the ninth floor.

Then, finally, he was walking through the door of his apartment. He locked it and set the Do Not Disturb notice.

Hey, Victor, he said, carefully stepping over the cat as it weaved around his ankles. Boe finally answered! Were going to call him. And were not going to freak out or freak him out. Normal friend stuff.

That was what hed wanted from Jeremy when he got back home.

Its fine if we dont even talk about where hes been, Alden muttered to himself as he headed toward the sofa. Just as long as hes okay and doesnt run away again.

He took a deep breath.

System, call

Youre still the same as always, said a familiar voicemaybe the most familiar voice in Aldens lifefrom just behind him. Arent you? And youre really alive.

Alden turned slowly to see a skinny, pale boy with dark hair in an ugly bowl cut stepping out of his bedroom. He was wearing ripped jeans and a black t-shirt with a skull on it. His hair was wet, and he was gripping a towel in one hand. It was dragging on the faux wood floor.

Boe.

*