EIGHTY-FOUR: The French Sauce

EIGHTY-FOUR: The French Sauce

AldenyoureI just knew you were gone forever, Boe said. I handled it about as well as youd expecmmmph!

Alden was crushing him in a hug before he even realized it. He was solid. He was real.

You werent here when I got back home! Alden shouted in his ear. I thought you were dead, too!

Didnt Jeremy tell you?

Of course. And I believed him. Mostly. But so much had already gone wrong, and sometimes I thoughtyou know its not the same as seeing you with my own eyes!

Asshole, Boe said in a muffled voice. You dont get to play the victim when you died first. And instead of Jeremy telling me you were fine, I had the freaking System telling me you were space dust.

Boe put an arm around him briefly, then pushed him off.

Alden took a step back. How on earth are you here, Boe?

You just told the cat you werent going to ask me questions.

About where you were all this time. You dont have to say if you dont want to answer. But how are you on Anesidora?! How did you even get into my apartment? The doors not supposed to open for people unless I give it permission to.

He examined his friend. Ripped jeans. Drippy hair.

And when you said you needed to collect yourself did you mean you needed to shower and get dressed up in my clothes?

Boes smile widened. Thats definitely what I meant.

Alden laughed a little too wildly. What the heck, man?

No. I really was collecting my thoughts. Showering helped. Actuallycould you do me a favor?

Anything, Alden said at once.

you sound so serious. Im not going to ask you for your firstborn. Could you justdo your wordchain?

What wordchain?

You mentioned in a couple of your messages that youve got Peace of Mind down pat? Boe shifted his eyes toward the damp streaks the towel was leaving on the floor. That one.

Oh. Okay? You want me to do that right now?

Yeah.

just a sec then.

It took more than a second, but Alden composed himself and started the hand gestures. The gremlin stirred briefly and then ignored him.

My heart calls out to another in good faith, he said in Artonan. Spare me a portion of your minds ease in this hour when my own mind is troubled. Tomorrow, I will grant another an equal comfort of mind.

A moment passed, and he felt the chain settle. The overwhelming joy he was feeling faded just a little.

You didnt even ask why, Boe noted.

Its only a wordchain. Ill recite it all day if you want.

But it dimmed your mood slightly in this case. Im sure thats not how you usually want to use that one. Thanks. For doing it. Andfor being so thrilled to see me in the first place that I had to ask you to.

Alden considered thata bit more calmly than he would have a minute before. He thought of a lot of questions to ask. All of them were things Boe had to know he was dying to have answers about.

Finally, he said, You want food?

The magic food I dont deserve because Im a terrible person?

Yep.

I cant say no to that.

Alden stepped over to the fridge. Scandinavian, Indian, or Chinese? he asked, examining the containers.

So international.

Nataliedid you hear any of my messages about her?she wants to cook for everyone, so shes trying to learn recipes from all over the place.

Indian food, said Boe, leaning against the counter on his elbows. And now that youre not out in the middle of a crowd of superhumans, you can ask me where Ive been and what Ive been doing. And why I wanted you to do a wordchain. Just because you promised the cat you wouldnt, it doesnt mean Im going to hold you to that.

You knowI had a reversed version of this conversation with Jeremy last week. Alden headed over to the microwave with a veggie curry dish. Where I said he could ask me anything because he was my friend, and he said he didnt have to ask me anything because he was my friend.

Ugh. Boe covered his face, and peered at Alden through his fingers. He said that? With his own mouth?

Yes.

Fine. He is an angel among men. Fuck. How do you compete with that?

I cant. And I know you cant.

Well, Im a bastard. Its been established.

Me too. But Im a lesser bastard. So Im only going to ask one slightly prying question instead of the million I want to. Hows your hand?

Boe uncovered his eyes. My hand?

Alden pretended to punch a cabinet. He smiled at Boe. Your hand, he said.

Oh.

I mean the hand you put through a brick wall, Alden clarified.

I know what hand you mean.

The hand you put through a brick wall after trying to get the angel to beat you up. And saying something so horrible to him that he wont even repeat it.

I was there. I know what I did.

That hand. Alden took the curry out of the microwave and slid it across the counter toward him with a fork. Is it broken? Do you need a healer?

Boe stared down at his fingers. Nope, he said finally. Not so much as a scratch.Ñøv€lRapture marked the initial hosting of this chapter on Ñôv€lß¡n.

Wellthen the question had to be asked. He took a deep breath. Did you get selected while I was gone?

It was before you left.

There was a brief silence.

Oh, dont do that, man, Boe groaned.

Alden had been reaching for the soap. He paused. Dont wash curry sauce and train germs off my fingers?

Noplease dont be sad I didnt tell you. Be offended. Or annoyed. Or even angry.

Im not sad. This is just my face.

Youre sad, said Boe. Sad isits the worst. Im terrible at dealing with sadness. My own. Other peoples. It ruins my self-control.

Im not sad, Alden said again.

He absolutely was. But only about that one specific thing. It wasnt that important, and it was overshadowed by his relief that Boe was alive, his worry about what his friend was doing here, and quite a lot of happiness.

Alden, Im so sorry.

There was an uncommon amount of sincerity in Boes voice.

Why? Alden forgot about his soapy hands and stared at him. You havent done anything wrong except for being an enormous dick to Jeremy, and even he says you were amazing prior to the wall punching incident. I didnt mean to make it into a bigger thing than it was by bringing it up like that.

Thatthe wall punching incident was a much bigger thing than he let on, Boe said. But thats between me and him. Im sorry I didnt tell you I had powers. You told me right after it happened for you.

Of course I did.

Its fine. Everyone has secrets.

I knew you didnt think we had them. I knew it wasnt right to keep it from you. I hated myself for it so much, especially after you I didnt want it to be that way. Im just a fucking coward. I almost told you a hundred times. There were reasons I should have, but I didnt want to lose my friend.

Alden snorted. Then, he realized Boe was serious.

Im not going to stop being your friend. How could he even think that? Weve spent almost every single day together since we were eleven. You could say harsh things to a dik-dik, and wed still be friends.

What about a baby dik-dik?

No. Not then. I have to draw the line somewhere.

They smiled at each other.

Alden said, Those last few days before everything went wrongI didnt mean to be so wrapped up in myself? But I didnt slow down for a second. Selection and then the funeral and then my moon mission

Right, Boe interrupted. Moon mission. Youre going to need to explain that to me very slowly. Because the messages Ive listened to so far were not clear at all. You just throw phrases like grasshopper demons and running until Im bloody and broken into soliloquies about how much you love your private chefs guacamole. Like those things are equally important. And like I have the full story.

Alden opened his mouth.

Not right now, Boe said hastily. Let me get my dramatic reveals out of the way before something comes up or I chicken out. Like I said, I regretted it. So let me do it. First, Im a U-type.

U-type. Didnt see that one coming. Wait

Thats not why you didnt tell me, is it? You should know I dont have anything against Us just because

I know.

Well good, Alden said. And U! Thats cool. I was assuming Brute because of averages and the wall punching.

Its not cool.

Its not?

uncomfortable is the kindest adjective Ive ever applied to it, and thats just on good days. Imagine the System stuck a Sway and a Mourner in a blender. And the thing that came out didnt work as well as either of those. So it keeps trying to patch the creature with random shit it finds in its pockets.

Alden stared at him.

Sway. And Mourner?

And random shit. Boe was biting his thumbnail and watching him nervously from beneath wet bangs.

Mourner. The emotional transference class.

Ohyou werent saying I looked sad a second ago. You were saying you knew I was.

Boe nodded.

Alden didnt know how he felt about that. Or I do, but its not the way I think I should feel so its confusing.

Eat your curry, he said, finally turning his attention back to his hand washing. He watched the suds flow down the drain. He heard the scrape of the fork in Boes hand against the container.

If anyone else had told Alden they were spying on his feelings, he would have been furious. And scared. Even though he put effort into not being one of those people who treated Sways like lepers, he still had to consciously ignore that spike of anxiety when he was around them. Even Instructor Marion this morning in classAlden really liked the teacher, but there was always a What if? factor you had to leap over before you could act natural around one.

So why?

Youre not doing some Swayner thing to calm me down right now, are you?

Boe grimaced. Dont just cram the class names together. Swayner sounds terrible, and Im not really either one. Im my own monster. He paused. Im not doing anything to you. But this curry is doing something weird to me. I feel like its cuddling me as I eat it? That cant be right.

Alden dried his hands on a paper towel while Boe squinted suspiciously at a chunk of carrot.

Where are his glasses?

I dont think I care, Alden said.

Boe looked up.

Maybe its just the wordchain working overtime, butI dont think I care very much if youre reading my mind right now.

It gives you a break from people?

Boe nodded. Hence the name. Its one of those things I mentioned something the System found in its pocket and tried to patch me up with. Thats my best guess for its intentions anyway. When I trigger the skill, I go somewhere. For a while.

Where? Alden asked.

I dont know, Boe said slowly. Im disembodied. But I can still think. Im me, but without thecomplexityof my physical form weighing on me. It gives me some clarity. I know that sounds like mumbo jumbo

It sounds like a cross-dimensional teleport, said Alden.

What? Does it?

It does. Im a fan of them I think.

If you say so.

Theyre really centering.

We for sure need to talk about you after Im done with my turn and my powers are back online. Boe sipped his drink. Wherever it is I go when I activate that skill, its only me there. And I just have an echo of my emotionsmy own emotions. Being there completely dumps all of the feelings from other people that get tangled up with me. Soall right. Yeah. Its really centering.

See. I know things.

Uh-huh. To take the escape hatch, I have to do something the System calls attaching my existence to another being.

Alden drummed his fingers on the counter. Fine. I do not know things anymore. What does that mean?

It means I have to target a person or sufficiently intelligent animal before I activate the skill. Theyre either carrying me around somehow, or their emotions are acting as a beacon that lights the way back to real life? Im not sure.

Thats

Boe grinned. Youre confused.

Its a very unique talent?

Well, you know what the u in U-type stands for.

But what are you supposed to do with that set of powers?

Boe set down his mug. Youre just assuming Im supposed to do something with them at all. That they have a purpose. At the risk of lighting a spark under that bridge I just talked about

Dont.

The System could flash a warning sign in front of my eyes if it wanted to, right? I think its fine to say this much. I dont believe my talents are intended to be useful to me, Earth, or the Triplanets. I dont think the Artonans want me to be Boe the Dark Empath Who Occasionally Takes a Time Out in His Own Personal Other Realm. I think Imoh theres the flashing sign. So you are awake. Hi there, shithead. Give me a list of things I can say, then.

Did he just call the System shithead and demand a list of talking points?

That wasnt a shock, considering it was Boe. What surprised Alden was the fact that his friend didnt really sound annoyed at all.

That was chummy cussing, wasnt it?

Boes eyes flicked up and down. Random.

Are you talking to me or to it?

Im only allowed to tell you, I think Im random, Boe clarified. Any more and the mighty magical overseer will be wroth with me.

At least it answers you.

Itll answer anyone if it thinks the answer is likely to save it trouble down the line, Boe said dismissively.

Have my messages been going to you through your cell phone? Or the System?

Both I assume. Unless the autopay for the phone plan had a hiccup. I just couldnt access it while I was gone. Boe looked at him. Youre still not upset about me knowing what youre feeling?

Im not.

Not that Im notrelieved. And pretty damn touched. But I think thats definitely not going to last.

My feelings arent particularly embarrassing right now, are they?

You only have to experience everybody elses emotions for a few days before you realize that almost nothing we inadvertently feel should be embarrassing, said Boe.

Alden felt his left eyebrow shoot up. Are you sure youre Boe and not his kindly doppelgnger?

Dont misunderstand. People are horrible. They are so, so awful. I hate most of them most of the time. But not because of what they feel. Its because of what they do with those feelings. Two completely different things.

About doing horrible thingswhat youre getting around to telling me is that you used Skill Number 3 to attach yourself to my cat, right?

I needed a break from people, said Boe. It gets hard for me when Im soaking in everyone elses madness on top of my own. Eventually, I cant disentangle anymore. It starts to feel like Im being overwritten. And after the memorialwhy are you heading over to the sofa to bother that poor animal again?

Alden crouched over Victor. Are you the reason hes fat now? Was he tired from carrying you around, and it ruined his metabolism?

Thats definitely how magic works.

Victor, do you want me to beat up Boe for you? Alden asked, trying to find evidence of magical interference with his pet. Did the evil Mournay ask your permission before he used you as some kind of wellness retreat?

Mournay is not happening. Thats even worse than Swayner. You make me sound like a French sauce.

We cant use Dark Empath Who Occasionally Takes a Time Out Inside Aldens Formerly Fit Cat, or whatever it was. Its just too long.

You seriously want to workshop a name for my bonkers unique class?

Of course. Alden smiled at him. Thats what friends should do when you get uncomfortable random powers.

Boe slid off the counter stool and came to stand beside him. He looked down at the cat. After a long while, he said, Alden, you were dead.

Im sorry.

I know it was probably worse for you than for me.

It was bad. I thought about it sometimeshow terrible it would be for you. And Connie and Jeremy, too.

I almost couldnt take it, Boe said quietly. Where were you?

Moon Thegund broke. It was full of chaos and tiny demons. There was no way back home. Im sorry it took me so long.

Boe sighed. Me too. I didnt mean to be gone for months. Time doesnt move the same for me when Im hiding in that place. I have a sense of it passing, but its not accurate. I stay until I feel like I wont fly apart. It feels like hours. But usually its a few weeks.

That sounds dangerous, Alden said. Losing track of real time like that.

I dont know if it is or not. I was scared of the same thingthat years would go by without me knowing. And I havent really had practice with the skill. So when I used it right after your memorial, I came back too soon. I wasnt all right yet. That was when I flipped out at Jeremys.

Alden looked at him. It must have been agony, he said hesitantly. Having everyone elses grief piled on top of your own sounds

Boe didnt answer right away.

Finally, he nudged Alden with an elbow. You should feel guiltier. Give me some good guilt.

I said I was sorry

Not for going missing. For making me an illegal immigrant. I was expecting to reappear in Jeremys suburban mansion. There was a reason I attached myself to your cat. Instead I popped up butt naked in a strange apartment. I thought hed given away Victor. I thought some homeowner was going to bust in and shoot me.

Alden gaped at him. Your clothes dont go with you?

My glasses dont even go with me. Theyre buried in a plastic bag under a bush below Jeremys bedroom window. Youre just a friend-shaped blur right now.

Alden laughed.

Jerk.

Im sorry; it shouldnt be so funny

I was panicking. I was running around the room, trying to figure out where I was and get clothes on myself so I could escape, and then I see the ocean out the window and the sketches of Apex and F-city on the wall. And I thinkthis place looks like pictures Ive seen of the intake dorms on Anesidora. And Im confused and very concerned because the only thing worse than breaking and entering in some trigger happy persons house is breaking and entering on an island full of people with superpowers!

Alden laughed harder.

And then I see a call notice flashing on my interface, and I click it without checking, expecting it to be Jeremy because the only other person in the world who gives a shit about me is dead, and maybe Jeremy can tell me what the hell is going on. But thenits you. Leaving a voicemail. About how you're making a personal list of which Velras you hate the least. I thoughtI sincerely thought Id lost my grip on reality.

Boe

I thought I should have done it ages ago, if all it took to hear from my best friend again was losing my mind.

Alden tried to control his emotions. He couldnt.

He took a few steps back from Boe, who was staring at him with an expression so raw that Alden didnt know what to do with it.

Sorry. Shit, I Alden said apologetically. I know you need me to be lessbut I cant just be chill after you say something like that.

Fair enough, Boe said, still staring at him. That was my bad.

Peace of Mind isnt a super strong wordchain, man. It cant take this much of a beating.

Im the one who completely exhausted my barrier skill before taking my time out. I know it doesnt recover much when Im away. So thats my bad, too.

Am Imy feelings are intense and all over the place again. Thats tough on you, right? It bothers you. Should I go?

you should probably go. Boe smiled wryly. Unless you want me to go. And try to explain to the superpolice how I got to Point Nemo all by myself.

Im supposed to be meeting my personal trainer at the gym this afternoon. Alden backed toward the door. Ill do that. Ill come back tonight. You said a few hours. Some? I forgot the number.

Six or seven should do. You have a trainer?

I have a trainer. And Im in hero school. Today was my first day. And Ive got a commendation from a really important Artonan. And I have twelve million dollars.

Boe opened his mouth at that, but he didnt say anything.

Yeah. Theres a lot, said Alden. Well cover it when youre not being forced to ride my every emotional nuance with me. Im going now. Help yourself to my food. And clothes. And whateverI have an expensive laptop. Enjoy. Call Jeremy. Dont feed the cat. Hes a liar.

Aldens hand was hovering over the door panel, but he didnt touch it. Boeyoure not going to disappear again, are you? Youll be here when I get back?

Im glad you asked first. I didnt want to be the one to sound all needy. Boe sat on the sofa, threw his legs up onto the low coffee table, and crossed his arms over his chest. Ill be here. No disappearances. Youre coming back, arent you?

Yep. Just going to the gym. No trips to other worlds for months. I promise.

Good.

Good. And send me your glasses prescription. Ill have some new ones drone delivered.

Showing off your new money swag?

Do you enjoy squinting at everything?

A text message with the prescription appeared on his interface. Boe hadnt even twitched.

I can mental text as well, said Alden. Youre not that impressive.

Takes a ton of practice, doesnt it?

I figured it out really fast and all by myself. Im amazing like that.

Your emotions shift when you lie. Shitty B-rank.

Alden suddenly realized What is your rank?

A.

Thats only one above me.

But it is above you.

I have 20/10 vision, Alden said. So were even.

Boe sighed. Alden, go away for six hours until my skills recovered. I really will be here when you get back.

Ah. Sorry. I was stalling a little. Bye.

Bye, said Boe. Then, just before the door shut, he added quietly, Love you, too.