CH 4

Chapter 4: Though I Have Failed You, Don’t Let Me Go

Upon seeing Ji Nanfeng awaken from his stupor, Duan Anran immediately expressed a soft, gentle, look. It was the kind of loving look where one believed they loved their partner a little bit more each day.

“Give me… glass of water! Need to take medicine…” Ji Nanfeng said hoarsely.

He said it to Mo Lixin, but Duan Anran did not pay heed.

“I’ll go ahead and get you a drink immediately!” Duan Anran took careful note for she said “drink”, not water.

Ji Nanfeng immediately recalled his past life. He despised, no, loathed drinking bland, tasteless, plain water. He preferred to add in flavors. Even when falling ill, he’d drink not plain water, but flavored drink.

Mo Lixin and Duan Anran knew these characteristics of his well.

He’d throw a fit when Mo Lixin gave him a plain glass of water. Foolish him. How inconsiderate. Truly a jerk no matter how big or small the issue was.

“No, you must take medicine with hot water!” Mo Lixin retorted.

Knowing Ji Nanfeng had awakened from a deep, long sleep, she felt relieved. At the same time, she steeled her heart and prepared to leave. She knew he’d only grow annoyed of her presence alone.

Duan Anran was enough to keep him company.

“Mo Lixin, Nanfeng had always drank flavored drinks, never plain water. Don’t you know?” Duan Anran raised her brows and acted the part of a caring lover.

“It is common sense that you can’t drink flavored drinks when taking medicine!” Though Mo Lixin had a soft and quiet character, she held her own principles, especially when it came to the care of Ji Nanfeng’s health.

Duan Anran’s cheeks tinged with red. She did not know what to say. She immediately turned her attention to Ji Nanfeng. “Nanfeng… I am thinking of you too… sorry… I shouldn’t be so ignorant of the big picture… sorry… Mo Lixin is right!”

She looked pitiful once more.

Ji Nanfeng knew Duan Anran had only acted the part a good actress. He wished to speak and call her out, but he’d only awoken and his throat was dry and parched. He could not speak.

“Drink water first.” Mo Lixin grabbed the handle of the kettle pot and poured a glass of hot water before handing it to Ji Nanfeng.

Her heart felt a sense of sadness. She knew he’d not take it. He’d only scold her for speaking to Duan Anran in such a way.

Mo Lixin held the glass of water close to Ji Nanfeng. Somehow, time stopped and Ji Nanfeng had yet to accept her offer. Raising her head slightly, she saw his expressionless countenance and thought he was angry with her. She quickly retracted her hand and prepared to leave.

That’s right… why is she here…?

When he cared not for her…

His mood would only turn sour when he sees her face. The doctor said he’d need to feel good both physically and mentally to recover fully. Having her around would only be bad for his health.

Her heart tightened.

Lost in her thought while slowly drawing the glass away from him, she hadn’t realized it’d been long taken away.

When their fingers touched, Ji Nanfeng felt the touch of her skin as light as a feathers. He remembered her. Before, because of him, she needlessly drifted through like a pocket of air; every move she’d make, whether for his sake, would go unnoticed. A breeze was the only slight sign she existed. He never acknowledged her presence. Only when she left the world did he realize it became so much harder to breathe.

He never realized till it was too late that the touch of her skin was the entrance to heaven itself; the tone of her voice is music pouring into his ears; the warmth of her existence gave him rise to a feeling of security… he didn’t know it then… but… he felt comfortable around her, a sensual feeling of belonging.

You’re tormented and in pain because of me… I’m sorry… I hope in this life you can forgive me… 

I have failed you a thousand times, yet you’re crazy enough to love someone like me… Mo Lixin, I surrender myself to you… don’t give up on me… I won’t let you go… 

Mo Lixin, I want you…