Chapter 157 - Hollow Victory

(August 2021) READER SHOUT OUT: Thank you, from the bottom of my heart for the very, very generous gifts you gave in July. I am always a little embarrassed when readers give extra on top of paying for my content. I am truly humbled. I want to say a special thank you to these readers whose generosity made my jaw drop: DaoistDavPrw, PBMamaRae, Nessa52283, MoonGoddess21

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AARYN

Sick in the pit of his stomach from the strange look on his mother's face, Aaryn pretended he didn't notice her hands shaking and brushed his hands on his leathers. "I just need to run upstairs for something really quick, then I'll leave you to rest." He started across the room towards the stairs before his mother could protest, and ]gave Eadhye a look and tipped his head for her to follow him.

The older woman whispered something to his mother, then trotted in his wake up the stairs to his room.

He closed the door behind her, then whirled. "What's going on? Why does she look so… frightened?"

"Because she really wants to be at the Flames and Smoke, for you. But she's terrified. She swings back and forth between confident and convinced she can't even step foot out the door. But she doesn't want you to know that. She wants you to enjoy getting ready and not worry about her."

"I can't not worry about her!"

"I know, Aaryn. It's fine. You're a good son. I mean that. I can't tell you how many Anima just throw up their hands when their loved ones fall into the dark like this."

He frowned. "Really? They just don't care?"

"Oh, they care. They just don't know what to do. So they end up doing nothing, except perhaps pressuring their loved one to change—which only makes this worse. Look, Aaryn, she's right: You have very, very important life events happening over the next few days. And she doesn't want those ruined for you—no matter what. I will get her there if she's ready for it. But if she's not, you need to go and focus on your Mate, and enjoy yourself. You cannot let her hold you back. Not for this."

He swallowed a protest. He didn't want to walk the Flames without his mother, but he also didn't want to delay them. He needed Elreth and…

Fuck he was a terrible son.

"No, don't you do that to yourself, Aaryn," Eadhye said firmly, suddenly.

He blinked. "I didn't do anything!"

"I can see it in your eyes—you are right to focus on your mate right now. You two have to build a life together. The Creator bonded you for a reason. And she will be a support to you while your mother can't. That's a good thing. Don't reject it. Not to mention that your mother hadn't lost her wisdom—she wants that for you, Aaryn. She wants you to start building a life, whether she can be a daily part of it or not."

"Wait… what do you mean, 'or not'—she's not going to stay this way?!"

"She might. She likely won't. She'll most likely improve, then get worse, then improve again. The fact that she's gone so many years without a serious bout is a good thing. But this is a severe case, Aaryn. This isn't something she can just shake off in a few days. I'm sorry. You need to be prepared to have her absent a lot in the coming months."

He felt his entire body pinch. "It's not absence I'm worried about. It's what happens to her when I'm with my mate and you're gone, and—"

"Don't you worry about me, Aaryn. This is my calling in life. I will be with her, one way or another, until she doesn't need or want me anymore."

"Don't you have a family?" he blurted, then wanted to slap himself. "I'm sorry, that was rude, I—"

"No, no, you're fine," she said with a gentle smile. "The truth is, my mother was afflicted this way early in my life. And I was afflicted for many years after the death of my mate—not a True Mate, but I loved him all the same. We were unable to have offspring. So now… now I help others. It's what I do. And I'm happy to do it."

Aaryn shook his head. "I had no idea. I've never heard of this happening with anyone else."

"You'd be surprised. It's something we rarely speak of because many don't understand it. But there are varying degrees of the darkness, and many are afflicted, even if they don't take to their beds. It's why I love what I do. I help people. Truly help them."

Aaryn took her hands and squeezed them. "Thank you. Thank you for helping. I wish I'd known. I wish I'd found you for her sooner. I'm so grateful, Eadhye."

She waved him off. "Just go be happy. Just make sure you make the most of your days, Aaryn. That is the best thanks you could give me—and her. Enjoy your mating day. And do come visit tomorrow night. If she's doing well, it will be encouraging for both of you. And if she isn't, she can have some time with you alone before you're swallowed up into the festivities."

He sucked in a breath at the idea that his mother might not make it to the Rite, but he'd heard Eadhye when she said that applying pressure was only going to make this worse.

"I will definitely be here tomorrow. Right after dinner. For as long as she wants me to be."

Eadhye pulled him into a hug. "You warm an old female's heart, Aaryn. Now go before I start weeping like a babe." He frowned, and she clucked her tongue and waved him off. "I'm mostly joking," she said with a wry smile. "Go. Now. And kiss your beautiful Mate for both of our old, romantic hearts, okay?"

"I will," he said and smiled at the thought of kissing Elreth.

Eadhye chuckled. "Ah, the first flush of love… it's a beautiful thing. Thank you, Creator, for letting us witness it."

Aaryn couldn't agree more, but he found himself ushed out of his own home, saying another hasty goodbye to his mother whose eyes were beginning to droop, then he was out of the door and hurrying into the night to find Elreth.

He couldn't say why, but all of this only made him more desperate to see her, to touch her.

Thank the Creator he was going to make her his in two days. He didn't think he could wait an hour beyond that.

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