CH 17

Did It Hurt Him So Deeply?

In March, Shu Jingzhi's world tour was set to kick off.

Starting in London, the tour included Paris, Florence, Madrid and Athens, before crossing the Atlantic and ending in New York.

The whole tour would take about a month, and Shu Jingzhi had planned to bring Ying Ruoyun with him.

But Ying Ruoyun was about to graduate, writing his thesis and preparing for his defence, as well as going abroad for graduate school, so he couldn't leave.

Shu Jingzhi added insult to injury by saying, "Isn't an undergraduate thesis just child's play? Is it that difficult?"

"Noble Dr. Shu, you are you and I am me, don't think that everyone is like you!"

"Yun Yun, I'll give you a week at most. In a week's time, I'll be in Florence, and if I don't see you, I'll return home and kidnap you myself."

"It's against the law to kidnap, okay?"

"You can try suing me." Shu Jingzhi was bold: "I have the most professional team of lawyers in A City."

From then on, Ying Ruoyun slept late at night, and his days and nights turned upside down.

One night, when the lights were clearly on, Ying Ruoyun suddenly couldn't see anything. About seven or eight seconds later, with a strong ringing in his ears, everything was back to normal.

Of course, Ying Ruoyun knew that he was night-blind, so he didn't take it seriously.

The next morning, in the professional rehearsal room, just as the piece was entering its second movement, a sudden stabbing pain shot through his skull, his vision faded and the sound faded away.

Ying Ruoyun stood still, feeling an intense wave of pain and, what was even more frightening, he lost his hearing.

For a performer, this was absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, unacceptable.

He recalled that Beethoven had suffered hearing loss in his twenties, when he composed his first symphonies. After middle age, he was completely deaf. With his dedication and love of music, Beethoven continued to compose music by feeling the 'vibrations' of the sticks and completed his world-famous Ninth Symphony.

When you read about famous people, there is total admiration and respect.

But when the same thing happens to you, it's only a heavy burden.

Fortunately, however, the deafness did not last long. As with the previous night's blindness, after about seven or eight seconds, everything was back to normal.

The hospital affiliated to A City Medical University is a top hospital known nationwide, and the head of the neurology department is one of the country's top medical experts.

With a friend's referral, he managed to get a specialist's number, but the diagnosis came out like a bolt from the blue.

The condition that Ying Ruoyun suffers from is extremely rare, especially the intermittent blindness, deafness with migraine headaches that characterise it, and there are very limited clinical cases to refer to.

What is clear, however, is that the doctors advise that one must give up music and all work that requires creativity and is intensely stimulating to the brain. Otherwise, the disease will worsen and the consequences will be incalculable.

Ying Ruoyun's reply was, "I will not give up music, even at the cost of my life."

Beethoven never set aside his love of music even in the face of his deafness.

He himself was only occasionally blind, deaf and had a bit of a headache, and he was not likely to let that deter him.

The one-week agreement soon arrived.

Shu Jingzhi called to ask where Ying Ruoyun was.

Ying Ruoyun said, "Senior, my uncle's daughter-in-law's aunt's daughter has a full moon tomorrow and I'm going to the celebration." (Angel: When a woman gives birth, it is customary that the woman stays in confinement for thirty days, after which a celebration is held. This is referred to as the full moon celebration.)

Shu Jingzhi said, "Yun Yun, when you make up your reasons next time, be more sincere."

"Senior, it's not very convenient for me to give my reasons now. Give me another week, a week from now, I will definitely come to see you."

There was a long period of silence, so long that Ying Ruoyun thought he was angry and hung up the phone.

Shu Jingzhi said, "No need for a reason, I'll wait for you."

"Mhmm."

"I miss you."

"Me too."

Hanging up the phone, Ying Ruoyun immediately booked the nearest flight to the United States.

Even though the most prestigious doctor in China had given a diagnosis, he still had hope.

Could they have made a mistake? Could there be another solution internationally?

In the United States, Ying Ruoyun contacted his former schoolmate and now principal violinist at the Eastman School of Music, Zhang Manman, who referred him to Robert, an attending neurologist.

What he didn't expect was that Robert's diagnosis would be even more unacceptable to him.

According to Robert, his condition was very rare and could not be cured. If he continued to be stimulated, there was a risk of incurring life-threatening complications from a brain haemorrhage. He therefore advised Ying Ruoyun to give up music and to have re-examinations every six months.

In the sterile hallway of the hospital corridor, Ying Ruoyun was surprisingly calm.

His mind raced, planning the best choices he could make with only six months left to live.

As a proud musician, he would never make this public and beg for mercy.

His persistence as a musician would never allow him to give up music either.

He could not let his parents know that apart from adding to their worries, there was nothing they could do.

Shu Jingzhi must not be allowed to know, absolutely not.

Shu Jingzhi is an internationally renowned musical genius, a premier conductor, composer and pianist. He has an amazing talent and a brilliant career, and he has his own destiny to always shine at the top of the musical hierarchy.

He absolutely must not be allowed to know.

It must never be a burden and a hindrance to him.

Ying Ruoyun thought, I would rather die as a performer than cower in a corner and live.

Walking out of the hospital, the night breeze blew, carrying a slight chill.

Ying Ruoyun dialled Shu Jingzhi's number.

The words of greeting had not yet been spoken.

Ying Ruoyun seized the opportunity to speak first: "Let's break up."

"Have you had dinner yet?"

"Let's break up."

"I've just left Madrid, my next stop is Athens, I'll see you there, hmm?"

"Shu Jingzhi." Ying Ruoyun said, "I don't like you anymore, let's not meet again."

"Athens has a Greek style of music, it suits you. I will return to A City now to pick you up, wait for me at home."

Ying Ruoyun hung up the phone and booked a flight back to A City.

As graduation approached, he was the only one in the dormitory.

Feeling tired, Ying Ruoyun switched his phone off and lay down on his bed to sleep through the darkness.

He woke up again because he was hungry.

With his hair a mess, he pulled open the curtains and it was raining outside.

It was not yet summer and the lotus pond by the library was starting to bloom.

Ying Ruoyun went downstairs and saw Shu Jingzhi.

He had been standing at the exit of the dormitory building for who knows how long.

He didn't have an umbrella and was soaked to the skin, his eyes looking at him tenderly.

Ying Ruoyun ignored him.

Shu Jingzhi stopped him: "Ruoyun, is there a misunderstanding between us?"

Ying Ruoyun said, "There's no misunderstanding, I'm just tired of you."

Shu Jingzhi said, "Yun Yun, all relationships are like this, it can't always be a passionate period of love. If you get tired of me, then I will get along with you in a different way until you like me again."

"We are different," Ying Ruoyun secretly clenched his hands: "You once said that you love deeply. But I'm only good at love at first sight. I like someone else, so give me up."

"Yun Yun, I've said it before." Shu Jingzhi smiled, "When making up excuses, be more sincere."

"I didn't make up an excuse, I did move on."

"I've only been away for two weeks."

"It only takes me three seconds to like someone."

"Ruoyun," Shu Jingzhi's smile faded, "give me one more chance, okay?"

"Shu Jingzhi," Ying Ruoyun said, "it's not about you, it's about me not wanting to..."

"I love you."

Tears instantly welled up in Ying Ruoyun's eyes, but luckily the two of them were in the rain and it was impossible to distinguish them.

The intense stimulation carried intense pain, and suddenly, the whole world turned into a silent film.

As Shu Jingzhi looked at him with affection, Ying Ruoyun remembered their first encounter, which had also taken place on a rainy day like this.

Ying Ruoyun returned to the building, closed the dormitory door and stood by the window.

Shu Jingzhi remained downstairs, looking in his direction through the rain.