CH 46

Louise Barsheikh lives in regret ④

Translated by KaiesV

Edited by KaiesV

I just spend my time cooped up.

That’s because Aloige doesn’t want me to go out much. And I am sometimes hesitant to go out because of what I think I have done to myself.

But… after I had been cooped up for a while, I went outside. I had left a letter for Aloisi, but it was only after I happened to be asked by a maid of honor to go outside.

Basically, after that one incident, Aloige had largely taken care of my personal needs himself. But since Aloige and I are of different genders, we have a minimum number of attendants. The maid of honor seemed to have some sympathy for my existence.

She knew what I had done to Ottilie Shefinko-san, but the lady-in-waiting thought it would be better to let me go from Aloige.

I had no intention of leaving Aloige’s side.

I was afraid of Aloige and I could not continue to receive that affection as I had done. I can’t even continue to feel happy about it. Still, I was feeling that way, as if there was no one else who could accept me but Aloige.

…But when I step outside for a moment, I realize that no matter how much I have done, it is really within the confines of this world. I think I was famous in this country. Many of my painted figures were circulating. That’s all I was. But… not everyone knew me.

When I realize this, I feel a little clearer after being somewhat depressed and withdrawn for so long.

What can I say, maybe I am simple. Feeling a little clearer, I told the maid of honor that I had no intention of leaving Aloige’s side.

The maid of honor who took me outside was trying to convince me why I should say so. Perhaps this lady-in-waiting doesn’t understand the true nature of Aloige.

I told the maid of honor,『I’m not confident that I can escape from Aloige, and I don’t know what Aloige will do if I did.』

The way I lived my life, the way I’ve been living now… it was all in the palm of Aloige’s hand. My achievements and the fact that I was the next queen and was adored by everyone around me… Aloige was the one who prepared me for that.

I’m not even confident that I can get out of the palm of Aloige’s hand and live on my own. In the end, I myself may be dependent on Aloige.

The maid of honor looked frightened at my words.

Is it because she learned that the『Fairy Princess』who was adored by everyone was a being that was being prepared for them, or is it because she realized that Aloige is such an extraordinary being?

Aloige is very special to me and only me, and he cares about me—— That is why he is happy that people are no longer around me. It was as if he was happy to have me all to himself.

The maid of honor tried to say something to me in a trembling voice—— That’s when she froze.

I followed the tips of the maid of honor’s trembling fingertips.

…Aloige is there. I wondered if he would be angry with me for going outside, but he showed no anger toward me. Just smiling… he’s smiling, Aloige reaches out to me.

I put my hand on top of his hand.

I cannot escape from Aloige.

I asked Aloige,『Don’t do anything terrible to that lady-in-waiting,』that’s all I asked him. Aloisi smiled. The maid of honor who tried to take me away from Aloige stopped coming to me.

Aloige does what I ask, so he probably didn’t do anything really terrible. I look out from inside my room, hoping that she is doing well.

I will surely live in the palm of Aloige’s hand for the rest of my life. If I try to escape, if I try to get deeply involved with someone, I am sure Aloige will try to get rid of it.

It is also, in a way, a punishment for me for keeping Ottilie Shefinko-san alone.

——And I would never be on the stage again, but would simply continue to live in the place that Aloige had prepared for me.