CH 42

Late at night, Yeon Juwon suddenly felt stuffy in his chest. He went out to the yard and looked at the sky. The moonlight, which had been bright enough to shine all over the world the past few days, was covered by clouds and couldn’t be seen today. Yeon Juwon thought that it seemed to be representing his mind. In fact, he had been in this condition since his last conversation with his wife, Sukjin.

There were many words among those who did not know why the current emperor had fewer concubines than his predecessors and why he still had no descendants, but Yeon Juwon was a person who knew the reason more accurately than anyone else.

The present emperor was born as the empress’s primogeniture son and was a person who had earlier become the crown prince. Since he was very young, he had been so bright and clever that no other brothers could match him. He was also good-natured, that no one who served the crown prince had any doubt that he would become a noble monarch who will lead the nation high in the future.

But it was never easy for him to ascend the throne. The second prince, who was born from the concubine that was loved the most by the predecessor emperor, was actually aiming for the position of the emperor. On the outside, he pretended to be a younger brother who really cared and respected his brother, but on the back, with his mother, he planned to seduce other brothers to drive Yihan out of the crown prince’s seat and take the emperor’s seat.

To make matters worse, the health of the emperor, his father, suddenly deteriorated due to chronic disease. In the end, the current emperor, Sung Yihan, had to go through a tragedy where he eliminated his brothers, with whom he had grown up together, with his own hands to protect his position, family, and this nation.

The emperor pretended to forget about it now, but Yeon Juwon knew that he still had those days like a nightmare. The fact that he didn’t look for the descendants from other concubines when the empress still had no child was clearly due to the scars left in the emperor’s heart and the fear that such a tragedy might occur again.

“…” 

A sigh fell through the stuffy night air as if it were full of fog. No matter how deep he exhaled, the stuffiness on his chest showed no signs of being eased.

When Hwawoon asked to make him enter the palace, when Hwawoon begged to help him enter the palace as the emperor’s concubine instead of the youngest, Songwoon, Juwon could clearly predict what his son would go through when he entered the palace.

Hwawoon was born weak, and perhaps because of that, his character that grew arbitrarily throughout his growth couldn’t be fixed. No matter how much his mother, Sukjin, and he alternately scolded him, it was useless. Therefore, it was already obvious how much he would be haughty in front of the emperor if such a child became an emperor’s concubine, and as a father, it had to be prevented.

Yet despite that, he remembered the face of the young emperor, who swallowed tears as he sat in the seat of the emperor stained with the blood of his brothers, so he couldn’t help but push Hwawoon’s back. How cold-hearted of a father he was?

Yeon Juwon never regretted his decision that day to make his son a concubine with his own hands. He was a government official and a subject of the emperor, and he had pledged lifelong loyalty to him, so it was natural for him to put the emperor first above anything else in the world. Even if he went back to that time, Yeon Juwon would not reverse his decision that day.

Hence, it was right for him to bear not being able to sleep because of his bitter heart in such a deep night.

He recalled the face of his son, who went to the Imperial Palace with a smile because he could serve the Emperor. He wondered that as time went by, one day, would he be able to apologize to him as a father? Until the morning came, the night of a father, who could not sleep, was flowing like that.

***

“Has there still been no news from Jeongan Palace?” 

Yihan, who had been silent for a long time looking at the reports, asked, rubbing his forehead with a very tired face. Eunuch Oh being worried, replied, bending down.

“Yes, Your Majesty. Not yet.” 

“Hmm…”

“Your Majesty, it’s late now. How about you go to your room now? It should be fine for you to stop by Jeongan Palace again tomorrow morning.”

It was not that Eunuch Oh didn’t know Yihan’s mind to wait until late at night, but from his perspective, nothing was more important than the safety of the emperor. He was the one who woke up early in the morning and started the day earlier than anyone else. Sleep that was delayed due to such concerns was bound to strain the body.

However, Yihan, the object of the worry, shook his head as if he was not concerned about it.

“What’s the reason for him not waking up until now if there’s no big problem with him? Are you sure that the palace doctor examined him properly?”

There was irritation in the emperor’s face and voice. It wasn’t because of the fatigue he felt. It was different from his annoyance toward his work. He was really completely heartbroken by the worry that came from the condition of Yeon Hwawoon not improving.

“His Highness Yeonbin is just asleep until he regains some of his diminished energy, so please not worry about it, Your Majesty.” 

“…”

“… Then, should I send someone to Jeongan Palace again?”

When asked by Eunuch Oh, Yihan lost in his thoughts by tapping the table with his fingertips like a habit. Yihan already realized that he was not in a normal condition now. He also knew that it was never good for an emperor to feel so anxious about one person.

The problem was that even though he knew, he couldn’t help his feelings. In his life, it was rare for Yihan to not be able to control his emotions.

For Yihan, grasping the problem meant solving it soon. At some point in his life, when he thought he was doing something wrong, Yihan would quickly look back, so that he could make a proper judgment again. 

But now, because of Yeon Hwawoon. Because of an existence that was nothing new, Yihan had not been able to grasp problems, answers, or anything properly and continued to spin around the same place. In Yihan’s opinion, the only answer when this happens was to step away from him for a while, ignore him, control his mind, and cut off the buds of useless thoughts.

Soon, Yihan said.

“Send someone to Jeongan Palace to see his condition, and it doesn’t matter how late it is, so tell them to inform me as soon as Yeonbin wakes up. If I’m already asleep, you must wake me up.”

“…”

“Because when Yeonbin wakes up… I’ll immediately go to Jeongan Palace.”

“… Yes, Your Majesty. Your wish is my command.”

So, what was the reason for him to take the wrong answer even when he already had the answer? Yihan tried to hide his complicated mind and closed his eyes.

More than any complicated thoughts, he just wanted Yeonbin to wake up now. 

***

“Mmhhm…”

“…? Your Highness? Have you come to your senses…?!”

Ahjin, who was dozing off while crouching by Hwawoon’s bed, woke up once she felt Hwawoon’s movement and asked. Hwawoon, who had not been awake for a long time and had been burning the hearts of Ahjin and the courtiers of Jeongan Palace, finally opened his eyes.

“Ahjin…?”

“Yes, Your Highness! I am Ahjin! Do you recognize me…?”

When her name came out of Hwawoon’s mouth, Ahjin’s big eyes quickly filled with tears. Ahjin criticized Seoseo for crying so hard and asking negatively about Hwawoon’s condition, but it seemed like she wanted to cry more than anyone else.

Blinking slowly a few more times, Hwawoon alternately looked at the scenery in the room and Ahjin. Soon, he met Ahjin’s eyes and spoke in a powerless voice.

“Of course I do… How can I not recognize you…?”

“Your Highness… Are you feeling any pain?”

“I’m fine now… How long have I been lying down?”

In fact, Hwawoon was nauseated, and he was feeling a slight headache, but he couldn’t say that he was not well in front of Ahjin, who was already sniffing.

“You’ve been lying down all day. It’s early in the morning now…”

“Ah…”

“You don’t know how surprised I was when you suddenly fainted.”

Said Ahjin while hurriedly wiping away the sweat from Hwawoon’s forehead with a soft towel. Feeling the deep worry in that touch and voice, Hwawoon smiled, pretending to be fine, and was about to apologize to Ahjin.

Ahjin, who had a somewhat lowered voice, talked first.

“Her Majesty the Empress visited you.”

“Ah… I made Her Majesty worried for nothing.”

“And…” 

“…?”

“His Majesty too.” 

He was suddenly out of breath. Hwawoon, who had only blinked his eyes because he didn’t understand the meaning even after hearing what she said, soon opened his mouth.

“His Majesty visited me…?” 

“Yes, Your Highness.”

“To look at me…?” 

“Yes. He came to look at you.”

“… Was it not because he had other reasons? Are you sure he came to see me?”