CH 85

But again, the emperor’s steps did not stop in front of Hwawoon. I’m sure he smiled at me. He even called me Yeonbin. Nevertheless, the emperor did not even glance at Hwawoon and passed by him as Ahjin did a while ago.

“What is… what is this?!”

Hwawoon once again turned around with a perplexed face following the emperor, who passed by him. A voice of surprise came out of his mouth. This was because there was Yeon Hwawoon at where Ahjin and the Emperor were looking. Not Hawoon, but the original Yeonbin, Yeon Hwawoon.

That Yeon Hwawoon smiled beautifully. It was a beautiful face that anyone who saw it would fall for him. Then, Ahjin with a bright smile on her face said, “Your Highness, I really missed you!” She grabbed that Yeon Hwawoon’s hand, massaged it, and tidied his clothes. 

It was not only that. The Emperor, who came before Yeon Hwawoon, reached out his hand and touched his cheek. “You’re back now.” Saying that, the emperor’s face was so gentle that Hwawoon, who was watching, raised his hand unconsciously and grabbed the clothes over his chest. 

His heart ached. Even though he knew that that position actually belonged to Yeon Hwawoon, his heart sank as if his position had been taken away. That person was the original master of Ahjin, and the emperor’s concubine was also him. He knew that Ahjin’s hands, which took care of him carefully, the emperor’s hands, which touched him warmly, were not his from the beginning. Nevertheless, he kept on feeling sad and gasping like crying.

Even though he knew he wouldn’t have dreamed of it in the first place if he hadn’t gotten Yeon Hwawoon’s body. Even though he knew it, they all were so precious to Hwawoon right now. They now meant so much to him 

“…?”

At that time, those who were gathered together suddenly became expressionless and looked a little away at the same time. Hwawoon, who felt pricked for no reason at the cold contempt on their expressions, which was so different from the gentle expression they had when looking at each other until just now, tensely looked at the place they were looking at.

Through the lush bushes, which seemed to have been neglected for a very long time, he could see someone’s bare feet all dirty with soil and garbage. 

He was out of breath for no reason. His whole body trembled. Even though he didn’t know what it was, an intense anxiety pressed Hwawoon tremendously to run away from the spot. However, instead of running away, Hwawoon slowly approached the place. It wasn’t because he wanted to. His feet were moving toward it automatically as if a powerful force were pushing his back. 

He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to approach and check who was lying barefoot on the dirty ground. Hwawoon turned his head and looked at Ahjin and the Emperor, hoping that anyone would help him, but they were still looking down at the ground with a look of contempt. 

So, what was seen in Hwawoon’s eyes as he approached the bushes. 

“No, no… This is not true…”

There was Hawoon, his original body. The whole body was dirty and was thrown on the ground as if it were trash.

He didn’t dare to approach. His death, which he had been trying to ignore, became a great fear. After barely moving his shaky legs and stepping back, Hwawoon suddenly lowered his head and looked down at his hands. 

He saw scars. The scars that were never in Yeon Hwawoon’s hands, the scars which were only familiar to Hawoon, were engraved on his hands. When he looked up with trembling eyes, Ahjin, the Emperor, and the original Yeon Hwawoon, who were looking at the body on the ground until a while ago, were now looking straight at Hwawoon, no, Hawoon.

“That should have been you.”

“That is the place that suited you!”

“How dare you try to look down on us all.”

In his eyes, they were just looking at Hawoon without opening their mouths, but their voices criticizing him were heard so vividly in Hawoon’s ears. He wanted to say no. He wanted to plead that he wasn’t the one who did that. However, only a shrill breath came out of the open mouth, and not a single word of excuse that he wanted to make came out. 

Then black water began to flow out of the body that had been dumped on the ground. When he couldn’t even step back properly as he wanted, and his feet began to get wet with the dirty water, the world began to collapse. 

***

“Gasp…!”

Hwawoon woke up with a gasp. When the vague sense slowly returned by blinking his eyes a few times, what he had experienced in his dream a while ago came to his mind vividly as if it were reality. Hwawoon sighed and slowly raised his body. 

“…”

He sat still and organized his thoughts. The nightmare was not in a form that can be said to be special to Hwawoon, so it was not as intensely confusing as when he first saw the original Yeon Hwawoon in his dream. However, it only added another weight to the guilt that he always had in his mind. 

Hwawoon looked down at his hands, letting out a heavy sigh and collecting his breath. They were still Yeon Hwawoon’s, the clean and small hands without a scar. Hwawoon closed his eyes as if to shake off the sadness he had felt in his dream for a very short time. 

“I’ll always be by your side, Your Highness.”

Ahjin’s voice, which lit up the lonely night of Hwawoon. 

“Regardless of how you look, as long as you are who you are now, would I have said I don’t want to see you?”

And the gentle voice of the emperor, who finally recognized and believed in his efforts, pushed away the sharp and cold voice he heard in his dream and embraced Hwawoon. 

He once again took into his mind the pledge he had made not to indulge in pointless self-pity and whine because he was already receiving more than he deserved. Perhaps his feelings were too unsettled because the Emperor approached him intimately in an unimaginable way last night. Hwawoon calmed down his anxiety. 

“Your Highness, are you up?”

At that time, Ahjin, who sharply noticed such a quiet movement and came in carefully, approached Hwawoon and spoke. Ahjin, who approached Hwawoon with a clear expression of affection, quickly examined Hwawoon’s complexion, and Hwawoon opened his mouth with a soft voice. 

“Thanks to you, I slept well, but… you must not have slept properly because of me.”

It seemed clear to him that Ahjin must have been snooping around the bedroom every hour because she was anxious that Hwawoon might not be able to sleep because of the pain at dawn. 

“No, Your Highness. I slept well, too. Did you get sick all night?”

“No. I slept very well, neither sick nor woken up.” 

“I’m glad. Then wait a little bit. I’ll change your bandage.”

Ahjin stood up from her seat, thinking that she would have to ask for a new medicine at the clinic because Hwawoon looked pale and didn’t seem to have a good night’s sleep as he said. For a moment, Hwawoon fell into the illusion of seeing bare feet with water flowing in the corner of the bedroom, but he hurriedly shook off the feeling and said. 

“Ahjin.” 

“Yes, Your Highness. Do you need anything?” 

“No. I just… Thank you. Thank you, Ahjin.” 

“… Your Highness. Don’t tell me that because it’s something I obviously have to do.”

While responding, Ahjin’s face shone brightly at Hwawoon’s words of gratitude, and Hwawoon decided to move on for another day despite feeling guilty.

***

“I don’t know what he heard from his mother, but that stubborn person couldn’t say a word and immediately agreed.”

After drinking a sip of tea, the Emperor said to the Empress with a pleasant face. The Emperor was having a luncheon at the Empress Palace after a long time. The Empress, who smiled softly at the emperor’s words, answered with a slight bow. 

“Did he?” 

“Your plan made it very easy to solve the difficulties.”

“I’m flattered, Your Majesty.” 

In the end, all the national affairs were done by humans, so there had often been cases where it was not easy to solve due to the intertwining of people’s emotions even though the case was very clear. In order to push ahead according to the law, it was difficult to completely ignore the position of the ministers, who must be embraced, and it was not possible to consider all of their circumstances and reflect them in national affairs, so there were a number of trivial difficulties.

Every time that happened, the Empress listened to the emperor’s difficulties together and gave him a way to catch both rabbits, or helped the emperor think of a new direction, or sometimes coaxed the family members under her influence to turn the situation around. 

Since ancient times, the imperial palace had strictly prohibited the empress and concubines from interfering in national affairs. However, since the Emperor and the Empress had gone through difficult times together, the Emperor would sometimes treat the Empress comfortably as if he was treating her as the most reliable friend. 

“By the way, how is Yeonbin’s condition, Your Majesty?”

The relaxed atmosphere suddenly froze when the Empress asked about Yeonbin. While holding the glass, the emperor’s movement stopped awkwardly as if he rattled. 

“He… still seemed to be in a lot of pain, but he seemed to be enduring it well…”

“I see. That’s a relief.” 

Listening to the empress’s voice answering casually, the emperor, Yihan, recalled last night. To be more precise, the moment when his lips touched Yeon Hwawoon’s forehead.