CH 95

Don’t let it eat you up and fight it. Yihan continued without even guessing what kind of wave the words were causing Hwawoon’s mind. 

“Seeing such beautiful scenery, eating delicious food, listening to nice words. And think of good people.” 

Hwawoon thought that beautiful scenery, delicious food, nice words, and good people were not allowed to him. It was hard to get rid of the notion that he was taking away someone else’s things. For that reason, this moment was special to Hwawoon. In the first place, Yihan was the one who allowed Hwawoon to do things that were never allowed to the current Yeon Hwawoon. 

“If you want…” 

Yihan strained his grip. It was a feeling difficult to name whose it belonged to. 

“You can think of me if you want.” 

Yihan’s words may sound like a generous mercy, but in fact, what was contained in them was like an entreaty. He was begging Hwawoon to think of him and endure it when he had a sad feeling like today. 

Maybe even Yihan didn’t know that now.

***

Young was sitting on a collapsed wall on one side of a deep alley that people rarely visited, looking at the slowly darkening sky. On a day when the sunset was particularly beautiful like today, he didn’t want to go back to the den early and hang out with the other beggars. 

Actually, it hadn’t been long since Young began to look at the beautiful sunset or the blue sky. Would the life of a young beggar, barely able to make a living for a day, be easy? Enjoying the scenery of the sun rising and setting is something that can be done with a full stomach and warm back. He spent countless days sticking his head on the ground to see if anyone had thrown away any food, unable to look up at the sky.

“Is Hyung really not coming anymore…” 

Murmuring sullenly, Young’s face was soaked with longing. It was Hawoon who showed the sky to the young boy who barely lived every day. Hawoon was the one who made him less hungry so that he could sometimes look up and look at the sky. 

If someone asked Young who Hawoon is, Young would call him a hero. One day, when Young excitedly said, “Hyung is my hero!” Hawoon freaked out and stopped him several times, saying that he should never think of a person like him as a hero, but Young’s thoughts were still the same even now. Hawoon was the only hero, benefactor, and person Young wanted to resemble in his short and poor life.

All the great people in the world were fantasy to Young. He couldn’t see them, nor could he reach them. In Young’s tiny world, he didn’t let them in. 

Instead, the little boy listened to Hawoon’s story. The boy, who was poor, weak, and had no one to take care of him just like himself now, grew to be a martial artist who knew swordsmanship and scolded the wicked who made trouble. Young had never heard a story that made the world as exciting and heart-breaking as that. Hawoon was a cool protagonist in the story to Young and a hero who saved Young’s world.

All those who knew how to use swords in this market were rough and frivolous, and couldn’t talk without swearing, but Hawoon was completely different. Hawoon was a kind, fine, quiet person with a neat face.

In addition, when he met Young, he knew how to smile kindly which could make the young boy’s heart flutter, and when he spoke, he had an incredibly neat tone and voice for someone who grew up at the bottom of the world. Young liked his gentle voice, so he secretly mimicked Hawoon’s tone in a corner where no one else was around late at night.

It was not just the voice. Young wanted to resemble Hawoon. Young, who had lived without dreaming of the future because he couldn’t see ahead at all, met Hawoon and realized the feelings of wanting to be like ‘someone’ for the first time. Young wanted to live like Hawoon. It differed completely from the form of ‘wanting to be a great man’ that sounded vague. 

If I don’t give up and live passionately. As Hawoon did, if I don’t lose my kind heart under any circumstances and look around and move forward like that, I’ll definitely be like him. 

Hawoon was such a clear dream the boy could grab. 

“I miss you…” 

The affectionate expression as if he was treating his younger brother. The warm gaze. In the boy’s eyes was a hazy, fine face. Young missed Hawoon so much. He really missed him, who did not forget to visit Young and greet him, and still took care of Young and other young children by sending precious money to the inn, even though he had entered the palace that he liked so much. 

“So wait a little bit, Hyung. If you can’t come… I’ll go there.”

The boy’s face, which had looked sad for a while, was quickly filled with motivation. If it was the imperial palace where Hawoon, an untouchable, could enter, there was no law that said Young couldn’t enter. Of course, it wouldn’t be an easy road, but he never intended to give up. Young was going to live harder every day from now on and stood next to him as a soldier of the Imperial Palace where Hawoon must be. 

The boy, who jumped off the wall and returned to the den, proudly straightened his posture. 

Hawoon may not have guessed it himself, but it was the story of him, who became someone’s dream and the only greed a young boy had. 

***

“Did the tea I sent fit your taste?” 

Returning to the bedroom after a short walk, Yihan carefully put Hwawoon, who was in his arms, on the chair and asked, facing him. Yihan was naturally holding Hwawoon from the front of the stairs on the way back to the pavilion. Hwawoon still blushed and was embarrassed, but he had no choice but to accept it because he worried he would get criticized if he refused again.

“Of course, Your Majesty. Not only did it fit my taste, but I was also able to fall asleep without tossing and turning last night thanks to the tea. Thank you very much. Your Majesty.” 

“Well, I didn’t ask to hear thank you.”

Ahem, khm. Faking a cough, the corners of Yihan’s mouth twitched noticeably. Of course, no one dared to say that the tea given by the emperor was not good, but he couldn’t hide his joy when Hwawoon said it was helpful with his own mouth. Even though he had already known through Eunuch Oh that Hwawoon enjoyed the tea because he wanted to hear it, he insisted on asking.

Then, Yihan said, squinting his eyes and looking at Hwawoon. 

“Don’t spare it and brew it every day.” 

Likewise, he heard it through Eunuch Oh’s report. A young court lady at Jeongan Palace said that Yeonbin liked the tea very much, but he said he would save it after tasting it today because it was from the emperor. Yihan was very baffled when he heard that.

When Hwawoon, never imagining Yihan finding it out in advance, looked embarrassed when he heard the words that hit the nail on the head, the emperor continued with a triumphant look.

“Do you understand? I don’t want this nation’s concubine to be misunderstood for drinking a mere tea frugally or something like that.”

“But isn’t it a precious tea from you, Your Majesty? How can you compare it to ordinary tea?” 

“Huh…” 

“No one dares to describe it as a mere tea or something.” 

Hwawoon, who wanted to cherish the first thing the emperor gave him, immediately replied as he couldn’t accept it. It was an unprecedentedly resolute voice. 

Yihan was dumbfounded. When he said something that scolded and ridiculed him, he obeyed without any other words with a calm face, yet he made such a firm voice for a mere tea. Then he laughed. He was very pleased that Yeon Hwawoon let out such a firm voice for none other, but the gift he gave him.

Furthermore, based on what he said, it was clear that it wasn’t because the tea itself was precious, but the tea was precious because he was the one who gave it to him. The emperor’s face continued to collapse frivolously, so he repeatedly hardened his expression. 

The emperor, who was happy, said in a voice like the spring sun. 

“How can it be only this time?”

“…?”

“I’ll send you another tea if you finish your tea. No, I’ll send you a lot of good things tomorrow, so you don’t have to try to save it.” 

Yihan imagined Hwawoon’s happy face when he heard that. Thinking how happy he would be if he sent him more because even a small box was so precious to him. However, contrary to Yihan’s expectations, Hwawoon shook his head. Hwawoon said before Yihan asked if he was rejecting his sincerity again. 

“Thank you for your generous kindness. However, no matter how many other teas you send, they can’t mean as much as the tea I received the other day.” 

“How come? It is said that it’s a high-quality tea, but there are many more teas comparable to that.” 

“This is not about what tea it is. It’s just…” 

Hwawoon stopped talking for a moment. He spoke out without realizing it when something so precious in his heart was treated as nothing, but when he suddenly came to his senses, he felt like he had said something he didn’t have to say. However, the words that had already flowed out could not be taken back again, and Yihan was already urging Hwawoon’s next words.