#128
It seemed that at this moment, Yihan’s voice prevented all the guilt that Hwawoon had always had to deal with alone. It felt as if it protected him from anything that could hurt him.
Shaking, Hwawoon put strength into his arms around Yihan’s neck and drew him a little more toward himself, and whispered in the same way.
“Because you are here by my side…”
“…”
“I’m not afraid of anything.”
They wondered what they should name the emotions that turned their world upside down and made them forget their fear.
Yihan and Hwawoon let out the breath they had held back without thinking about it further. It was a very hot and sorrowful night.
***
“Who hit the shoulder of a spectator a while ago with a sword?”
After passing by the place where the people had just been waiting in a row, the emperor stopped the palanquin for a while and slightly raised his head outside. Eunuch Oh hurriedly called the person who was escorting him, and Yihan opened his mouth as he approached and bowed his head.
“Who gave you permission to touch the people who came to see me?”
Recognizing the grave tone in the voice, the escort hastily jumped off his horse and dropped to his knees on the ground.
“I beg your pardon, Your Majesty! I have committed a great sin!”
Yihan looked down at the back of the person lying down in front of him and remembered the face of a man he saw a while ago. It wasn’t that he rarely faced the faces of the people directly as the emperor, but the face of the person he encountered today was somewhat special. The surprise and awe seen on his face weren’t simply of a person facing the emperor. It was subtly different from that.
Like seeing the light of life for the first time. Like a child seeing the sun in the sky for the first time and the moon at night for the first time.
He looked at Yihan as if he and the emperor were the only two people in the world. But then he hurriedly looked down and prostrated himself because the escort had suddenly hit his shoulder. Yihan wondered how disappointed he must be, and it made him in a bad mood as he walked down the street.
“… Be more careful in the future.”
However, it was unreasonable to tell the person who had the duty to protect himself not to do so. Yihan eventually cleared up the situation with a short warning. When the emperor straightened his posture back, Eunuch Oh shouted, “Let’s go!” and the procession started moving again.
No one knew how long the emperor thought about the eyes of the person who had been staring at him.
***
Hwawoon suddenly woke up. It was dawn, and the sun had not yet risen. His whole body ached as if he had been beaten, and his eyes couldn’t be opened easily as if they were swollen. He also couldn’t remember well when he fell asleep. Hwawoon, who tried to stand up because he felt strange, had to lie down again because of a force that held his body down.
“…?!”
Finally coming to his senses, Hwawoon recognized the source of the power surrounding him. It was the emperor. Hwawoon was wrapped in a blanket and Yihan’s arms. Surprised, Hwawoon almost screamed, but he quickly covered his mouth and closed his eyes with his body curled up. Then the memories of last night came back one by one.
He asked for a night with the emperor fearlessly. Hwawoon shamelessly grabbed the emperor’s sleeve and asked him to stay by his side, putting control of his mind to not be greedy anymore to shame.
He recalled the lips that were willing to dig into him, not refusing him away. The gestures he made to Hwawoon, who was awkward because everything was new to him, and the way he waited for him slowly even though his eyes were full of heat, all came back to him clearly, and his whole body felt like it was warming up again from last night.
When Hwawoon gasped due to the overwhelming sensation he had experienced for the first time in his life, a large hand would cup his cheek. Letting out a hot breath, the emperor whispered in Hwawoon’s ears, saying that it was okay endlessly. Therefore, Hwawoon forgot all the guilt, sadness, and pain and left everything to the emperor.
The scenes from last night kept coming back to him when he closed his eyes, so Hwawoon slowly opened his eyes, barely controlling his pounding chest. This time, he almost choked on his breath when a beautiful face, just like a painting, was in front of him, sleeping soundly with his eyes closed. He did know that the Emperor was a handsome man with no equal, but it was difficult to breathe properly when he looked at him from such a close distance and with such an intense heart.
It wasn’t a dream. I can’t believe that His Majesty and I really spent the night together.
Still in disbelief, he was excited, scared, happy, and sad. A combination of emotions that could not be described in a single word, filling the well of his mind. Hwawoon moved his arm a little and brought his fingertips to the chin of the sleeping person as if possessed.
Won’t he disappear if I touch him like this? In fact, all of this is an illusion, so if I get greedy and touch him once, won’t everything collapse like a sand castle? With such fear pressuring him, Hwawoon’s fingertips carefully touched the emperor’s chin.
Instead of disappearing, he felt the warmth. The emperor, Yihan, was in front of him, not disappearing. He was fascinated and liked it, so this time he moved his hand a little more and touched the emperor’s cheek. In fact, whenever the emperor’s hand touched his cheek, Hwawoon was also hoping to be able to touch the emperor like this.
A smile unintentionally appeared on his lips. He still felt pain all over his body, but he was happy to think that it was all given to him by the Emperor. He knew that he had to stop touching because the emperor might wake up, but he couldn’t do it easily because he liked to feel the emperor who didn’t disappear.
“Mmm…”
It was at that moment that the emperor tossed and turned. Surprised, Hwawoon hurriedly pulled his hand back and curled up. Without caring about that, the emperor casually pulled Hwawoon deeper into his arms. The emperor’s sleepy voice rang.
“Why are you already up…”
It was a completely different tone from his usual neat and dignified voice. Hwawoon’s heart began to beat like it was going to burst again.
“It, it is…”
“Why don’t you sleep more…”
The emperor was so sleepy that he couldn’t even open his eyes, but he seemed to think it was very natural for Hwawoon to be in his arms. The firm arms wrapped around Hwawoon’s waist, and Hwawoon felt the warmth that touched his forehead.
“Shh, it’s all right, so let’s sleep a little more.”
The emperor whispered with his lips on Hwawoon’s forehead. Hwawoon, as expected, was frozen.
He wondered if he was mistaken for someone else. He heard that it had been a long time since the emperor slept with Yeon Hwawoon, so he might have mistaken his palace as the palace of the Empress or other concubine in his sleep.
However, Hwawoon was not deterred by such doubts. It was nothing even if his doubts were true. Even if the emperor mistook him in his sleep now, what he gave to him last night would never be a mistake, so Hwawoon just accepted the temperature of the person who was warmly embracing him at this moment.
His body, tense with nervousness, relaxed naturally and so did his mind. Hwawoon had achieved something he had never dared to imagine or hope for. Whether it was the last time or not, Hwawoon was ready to accept whatever came next.
For this night, Hwawoon was willing to endure the pain of eternity, so it would be okay to fall asleep so peacefully for only a few hours.
Hwawoon closed his eyes as he listened to the emperor’s breathing. Before long, he fell asleep again.
***
“Your Majesty, this is Ahjin.”
Ahjin, who was standing in front of the bedroom, spoke in a cautious voice. She was pretending to be in trouble, but there was a smile around Ahjin’s mouth that she couldn’t resist. Eunuch Oh, who was standing next to her, clicked his tongue once, but such a thing affected nothing on Ahjin. At this moment, Ahjin could be sure that she was the happiest person in this Myeonghawon.
There was no sign of anything inside. It was past the time the emperor and Yeonbin usually woke up, but it was still quiet. When Ahjin turned her head and looked at Eunuch Oh, who had been calculating the movement inside for a while, he immediately ordered her to go inside. The emperor had to start preparing now because he had to attend the morning inquiry. Ahjin inhaled nervously, exhaled, and entered the bedroom carefully.
“Shh.”
But as Ahjin entered, she saw the emperor was already awake. Comfortably draped in a disheveled robe, the emperor sat on the bed where Hwawoon was sleeping. The emperor hushed Ahjin as if he didn’t want to wake Hwawoon up, and then turned his head again and looked at Hwawoon, who was still breathing evenly. Ahjin walked closer and opened her mouth, holding her breath.
“Your Majesty, I have prepared the water for you to wash.”
Her voice was quiet like a whisper. Even after hearing Ahjin’s words, the emperor only nodded his head once and kept looking down at Hwawoon without giving any other response.