C282

In addition to the two regrets, I also have one more sadness, and that is that I did not leave behind a son for the Emperor. I hate it! Or was it because of my body that I didn't have this blessing?

I entered the palace fifteen years after Kangxi. After entering the palace for a few years, I watched as other concubines gave birth to their own sons and daughters one by one. I was so envious that I longed to have a child of my own. I am happy, I am truly happy, but the royal doctors said that my body is too weak to be nurtured, the emperor came to advise me, the empress dowager came to advise me, and the Imperial Concubine Rong came to advise me as well, but I want this child, even if I have to die because of it, I want to give birth to him.

I want to bet with the heavens that he will be safe and healthy!

But, I know, I lost the bet, I gave birth to a princess, I loved her so much, but he was blessed like me, and left me in such a hurry in less than a year, it was I who let her down, bringing her into this world and suffering a circle of pain and suffering for nothing …

The only people I had in my life were Yinzhen and Yinxiang, my adopted sons, especially Yinzhen, whom I had raised since he was born, and whom I had loved the most over the years. He knew that I was not well, and that he would often visit me even after he left the palace. Yin Long is my only hope, and I can't let anyone snatch it away from me. I restricted the time she can see Yin Xin, and even more so, I won't let her see him alone, and when she sees that he has to be in front of me, so …. Yinzhen is not close to her. She hates me, so be it. I'm not afraid of her. She has a healthy body. In addition to Yinzhen, she can give birth to more children for the emperor, but … I can't... Yinzhen is my only, is my whole, so she can not take away the feelings of Yinzhen for me! This was impossible! I thought so, and did so, so in Yinzhen's heart only I am the most intimate, I am so gratified, really so gratified, so many years of his love for him all changed into his filial piety for me...

In the past two years, I've been too weak to take care of Yin Xiang like I did for Yin Xiang, so Xiushan has taken care of him most of the time, and Min Xiang has often been allowed to visit him. But what makes me happy is that although these two children aren't my biological parents, they treat me very well, and the brotherhood between us has also made me happy.

Maybe it's because I don't have enough smiles, so Yinzhen is also a kid who doesn't really like to laugh, but when he sees that I'm in good shape, he plays games with Yinxiang every time he goes back to the palace, teasing her, who is still in her infancy, to laugh …

So even though I don't have a son of my own, I am satisfied with having two adopted children …