CH 79

The one you’re holding, is it my robe? (Confronting emotions)

After a busy day, Song Shu Qing stood at the stairs leading from the second floor to the third, arms crossed and hesitating.

Hmm…

Should I go upstairs and check on things?

But interfering too much doesn’t seem to be my style…

But then again, with what happened in the shop today… I’m a bit worried. After all, Zi Yan is the type to keep everything bottled up inside.

Nevermind, I’ll just check from outside the door.

Song Shu Qing climbed the stairs and arrived at Zi Yan’s door. She cleared her throat and knocked on the door. “Zi Yan, are you okay?”

No one answered. She spoke again, her tone affected. “Zi Yan, we’re closing up shop. How about the three of us go out for a big dinner tonight? You can choose whatever you want to eat.”

After a long silence, there was still no response. Song Shu Qing suddenly felt nervous. “Hey, Zi Yan, answer me.” She spoke calmly but with a serious attitude.

She pressed her ear against the door but didn’t hear any sound. She frowned and pushed the door. It wasn’t locked. “Zi Yan, I’m coming in.”

As she spoke, Song Shu Qing pushed the door all the way open and found the woman curled up in bed. She breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh, you scared me. You were just sleeping.”

As she was about to leave, she felt that something was not quite right.

Zi Yan, lying on the bed, had irregular breathing and was panting in short gasps. With keen eyesight, Song Shu Qing walked a few steps closer and saw that the woman’s face was pale, her eyes closed, and she seemed to be biting her lower lip in extreme discomfort.

Reaching out to touch Zi Yan’s forehead, Song Shu Qing felt the abnormal warmth and immediately knew something was wrong.

Zi Yan had a fever.

Perhaps there were some signs early on, but Zi Yan had been enduring it all along.

It was infuriating; she should have noticed earlier. She knew Zi Yan was the type to endure everything alone…

Because Zi Yan always looked calm and seemed like nothing was wrong, Song Shu Qing had mistakenly believed that everything was fine.

Perhaps even the decision to let her work at the teahouse wasn’t the best for her…

Filled with self-blame and regret, Song Shu Qing turned around and was about to go downstairs to get her bag with silver needles and herbs when she heard the unconscious murmurs of the woman on the bed.

“Miss Song… don’t leave me behind…”

“Miss Song…”

“I’m not leaving you behind.” Turning around, Song Shu Qing soothed in a low voice, “I’ll be back soon, very soon.”

Her eyes were filled with pity as she uncovered the messy sheets, intending to cover the woman curled up in bed again. But she noticed that Zi Yan was tightly clutching a large robe in her hands.

It was a black one.

Belonging to the shadow guard, a wide robe.

“Miss Song…don’t leave me. Let me stay by your side. I don’t ask for anything…I don’t ask for anything…”

“Don’t abandon me.”

Tears filled her eyes.

Song Shu Qing immediately recognized that the robe in the woman’s hand had belonged to her.

As she looked at the thin woman before her, listening to her pitiful pleadings, the shadow guard holding the quilt trembled lightly, unsure of how to react.

To Song Shu Qing, Zi Yan was someone special.

There was no doubt about it.

After all, Song Shu Qing was lazy and indifferent, and she hated interfering in troublesome matters, yet she couldn’t help but lend a hand to Zi Yan when she saw her alone.

Even though Song Shu Qing refused to admit it, this abnormal behavior still represented something.

For her efforts, she did not expect Zi Yan’s gratitude or any form of repayment, because she only wanted to do it.

Even though she could feel the occasional gaze of Zi Yan secretly following her everyday, Song Shu Qing knew that Zi Yan, despite sighing, still complied obediently with her laziness and antics. She refused to think too deeply about it, attributing it to the gratitude and dependence of a woman towards her benefactor.

But now, the half-conscious and half-delirious Zi Yan was displaying a surging affection that far exceeded her expectations.

Song Shu Qing was not a foolish idiot like her junior sister.

Looking at the appearance of the person in front of her, she could easily discern Zi Yan’s overwhelming affection and admiration towards her.

Even though her emotions were tightly restrained everyday, during her vulnerable moments when she fell ill, her feelings erupted uncontrollably.

As she tucked in the person beneath her blankets, Song Shu Qing pondered while watching the restless sleeping face of the woman.

She did have a bit of a liking for Zi Yan.

No…it’s more than just 『a bit』.

After all, Zi Yan was a woman who danced entirely within the confines of her ideal type, and even ghosts wouldn’t believe it if she claimed not to be moved by her.

Facing this palpitation that emerged from the depths of her heart, Song Shu Qing felt as if she had been longing for it for a long time…

The last time she felt this way was back in college in her previous life.

She never expected that after more than twenty years, in this era where even air conditioning and Coke were luxuries, she would rediscover that youthful feeling.

Wait a minute…

As if suddenly realizing something, Song Shu Qing widened her eyes and couldn’t help but bury her head.

Although the 『Song Shu Qing』 here is only five years older than Z Yuan, if she takes into account her past life…

So, is this considered an older woman dating a younger woman?

No way! It doesn’t sound okay at all. I’m young and full of energy. How did I become an “older woman”?

With both hands stretched out, the distressed shadow guard tried to calculate by pinching her fingers, but suddenly felt like giving up.

“Miss Song…Shu Qing…”

“Don’t leave me behind.”

As she was lost in thought, a fitful dream interrupted her. Song Shu Qing looked down at the restless woman beneath her and sighed helplessly, “Forget it, an old cow is an old cow.”

She gently smoothed the crease in Zi Yan’s unconscious brow with her thumb and comforted herself, “Zi Yan is lucky to have found someone mature, stable, and considerate like me who is older than her.”

When the high fever subsided, Zi Yan woke up from her daze and saw Song Shu Qing sitting on a stool next to the bed, flipping through a book.

“Oh, you’re awake.” Feeling the movement on the bed, the shadow guard used tweezers to raise the wick of the oil lamp higher, illuminating the dimly lit room. “Do you feel better?”

“I…” Touching the damp cloth on her forehead, Zi Yan struggled to sit up. “I’m sorry for troubling you.”

“What are you apologizing for?” Leaning over to half-embrace the weakened woman, Song Shu Qing smoothed out her disheveled hair and spoke carefully. “Instead of apologizing, I hope you remember not to push yourself so hard next time.”

Zi Yan didn’t know how to respond, so she just let the person sitting on the edge of the bed take her pulse. Feeling their breaths intermingling in the quiet space with only the two of them, her ears were filled with the deafening sound of her own heartbeat.

Feeling uneasy as she looked at the person in front of her, afraid that she might discover her inappropriate thoughts, Zi Yan subtly leaned back and controlled her breathing, hoping to suppress the uncontrollable throbbing in her chest.

“It’s probably just a cold caused by the sudden drop in temperature and stress. You should be fine now,” Song Shu Qing released Zi Yan’s slender arm and her serious face finally showed a familiar smile. “Rest more these days and don’t go to the shop to help out. Although the medicine I boiled for you after dinner is a bit bitter, you still have to take it…”

As she spoke, she picked up the bowl of porridge next to the stove.

“It’s okay, I feel good and can go down to help,” Zi Yan hadn’t finished speaking yet, but was startled by the spoon that Song Shu Qing had brought to her mouth.

“Be a good girl, Zi Yan, open your mouth.”

Holding a bowl of porridge in her hand, Song Shu Qing coaxed the patient on the bed. Seeing that Zi Yan was still hesitant to eat, Song Shu Qing raised her eyebrows and said, “Don’t worry, Cao Yun bought this porridge. It’s not something we cooked ourselves, so it’s definitely not poisonous. You can eat it with confidence.”

“It’s not about the porridge. I can do it myself,” Zi Yan explained, trying to take the spoon from Song Shu Qing’s hand.

“You’re sick,” Song Shu Qing said with a pitiful expression, easily avoiding the woman’s hand. “Let me help you. Open your mouth, or my hand will get tired.”

Seeing Song Shu Qing’s pleading expression, Zi Yan softened and no longer resisted, patiently eating the porridge spoonful by spoonful.

When the bowl was finally empty, Song Shu Qing nodded in satisfaction and brought over a small bottle of dark medicine. With a reluctant expression, she said, “I’ve tried to make this medicine as little bitter as possible, but there’s still a little bitterness. But for the sake of your health, dear Zi Yan, you still have to drink it.”

Observing Song Shu Qing’s exaggerated expression, Zi Yan couldn’t help but cover her forehead in speechlessness. Nevertheless, she drank the extremely bitter medicinal soup without even furrowing her brows, and as she swallowed the last drop, she suddenly felt the sweet taste being fed into her mouth.

“Zi Yan is amazing, amazing.” Tenderly stroking the woman’s hair, Song Shu Qing’s eyes were filled with love, “You’ve worked hard.”

For some inexplicable reason, although she wasn’t a young child, and although the taste in her mouth was sickeningly sweet, Zi Yan was trembled and felt her nose become sour from being cherished and coaxed like this.

“You don’t have to do this for me, I’m not afraid of bitterness, and I don’t need anyone to take care of me…”

Lowering her head, not letting anyone see the reluctance in her eyes, Zi Yan hoarsely spoke the words of rejection that went against her true feelings.

“I don’t need you to treat me like this, it’s already enough… You really don’t have to do this…”

Silence suddenly enveloped the room, and the woman sitting on the bed nervously bit her lower lip.

She was not sure if her seemingly ungrateful words would make the person next to her unhappy. The flickering candlelight cast their shadows on the wall.

“I mean…” After a while, Song Shu Qing spoke up, breaking the silence.

“The one you’re holding, is it my robe?”