CH 80

“This…”

Looking at the black robe that she subconsciously held tightly under the quilt, Zi Yan suddenly felt flustered, as if she had been caught doing something wrong.

“I was thinking it’s been lost for half a year, it’s definitely not going to be found,” Song Shu Qing’s tone sounded sincere, but there was a hint of cunning in her eyes. “So it’s been with you all this time…”

The woman, who was looking down, did not notice the subtle smile on the face of the shadow guard. She bit her lip, unable to explain why she had not returned the item that Song Shu Qing had lost, but she also could not bring herself to return the robe that had been imbued with her scent and had accompanied her through countless lonely nights.

“But, I’ve already gotten a new one since it’s been lost for so long. If you like it so much, I could leave it to you…”

Suppressing the mischievous smile that was forming on her lips, Song Shu Qing looked at the woman on the bed who had lifted her head in surprise and pretended to ponder. “…If Zi Yan can play her latest piece of music for me to listen to, then she can keep the robe.”

“No, it’s not possible.” The woman shook her head abruptly, her face unconsciously flushed. “That piece of music, it’s the only one that’s not allowed.”

“Oh? Why?” Tilting her head in feigned confusion, Song Shu Qing leaned towards the bed, staring straight at Zi Yan. “Why can’t it be that one particular piece of music? Clearly, any other piece of music would do. Is there something special about it?”

Leaning forward, their faces were only inches apart. Song Shu Qing could even smell the scent of the medicine that the woman had just swallowed. In a hoarse voice, she slowly spoke, “Or, is it because I’m the one who’s listening to it, so you can’t play it?”

“I, it’s not because of you…” Looking at her beloved who was so close, Zi Yan had a feeling of heat rising up in her again.

“You have a fast heartbeat.” Three fingers were quietly placed on Zi Yan’s wrist, and Song Shu Qing’s low voice inexplicably fascinated her, “Your pupils have dilated, even though the room is quite bright.”

Unable to resist a light laugh, she turned her head and looked out the window.

A night had passed, and the sun had just risen, casting several golden rays of sunlight into the room.

“I… I… I don’t know why I’m like this.” Feeling that her carefully hidden secret had been discovered, Zi Yan’s breathing became rapid as she tried to make the final cover-up, her tightly pressed chin trembling slightly.

Blinking, Song Shu Qing turned back to look at the bewildered woman in front of her, her heart softening and no longer willing to tease her. She spoke directly, “Zi Yan, what I want to say is that I have some affection for you.”

“With words that you can easily understand, I have fallen for you,”

“It doesn’t matter to me about your background, your past, or even your profession. I am attracted to you now.”

Taking hold of Zi Yan’s hand, Song Shu Qing placed it on her own chest and tilted her head with a smile that was both teasing and sincere. “Do you feel it?”

“My heart is beating faster,” replied Zi Yan, still stunned.

“It’s because of you,” Song Shu Qing said softly.

Unable to believe the words she heard, unable to believe that the person she longed for was right in front of her, the usually reserved Zi Yan couldn’t believe everything she was experiencing.

But as she stared blankly at their intertwined fingers, feeling the softness of their palms and the steady rhythm of their beating hearts, every pulse felt so real, and the unwavering gaze in her eyes was so firm.

Zi Yan, who usually had a calm expression, showed a rare blank expression, with only her reddened ears revealing the raging waves in her heart.

“How… how could I…” Unable to form a complete sentence, her mind was overloaded with information, causing her whole body to tremble slightly, “How could I possibly deserve…”

“Oh dear, how can I help you get rid of the bad habit of belittling yourself?”

With a tender kiss on Zi Yan’s fingertips, which were calloused from playing the qin, Song Shu Qing sighed silently as she looked at the person in front of her, whose face was full of shock. Suddenly, she spoke mischievously, “Zi Yan, I have something important to tell you.”

Looking at the serious expression of the shadow guard, the woman’s scattered gaze refocused, and she listened attentively to the words of the person in front of her, slightly nodding her head.

“Now, I want to kiss you.”

Song Shu Qing emphasized loudly, “Of course, if you don’t like it, you can push me away or refuse at any time.” Suddenly, as if thinking of something, she pouted, “But you can’t slap me, after all, I rely on my looks to make a living.”

She brushed aside Zi Yan’s hair and then lightly placed her warm hand on the woman’s cheek, tilting her head slightly and leaning forward very slowly.

As if giving the person in front of her enough time to change her mind.

Unfortunately, until their distance was negative, Song Shu Qing did not feel any resistance, nor did her cheek feel the sharp pain of being slapped.

Zi Yan just tilted her head up in compliance.

Submissive and lingering.

The woman’s lips were very soft, with a hint of bitterness from the medicine she had just taken.

Song Shu Qing was even gentler than ever as she carefully licked her lips with her tongue, as if trying to share the bitterness with her.

Even when she tasted a hint of saltiness halfway through, she just hugged the woman’s waist with her free arm and gently patted her, as if she was coaxing someone she loved and cared for deeply.

When their lips parted, although Song Shu Qing looked at the person with red eyes lovingly and wiped away the tears hanging from her chin with care, she still couldn’t help but say mischievously, “Looks like I really need to buy some more handkerchiefs.”

“After all, the wife I chose seems to be a little crybaby.”

On the surface, the way the two interact with each other seems to have remained the same despite their new relationship.

At the teahouse, Song Shu Qing still absentmindedly organizes the tea cabinet, and when Zi Yan passes by, she would pitifully ask her what they should have for dinner and then take advantage of the situation to order a few more dishes.

Zi Yan’s expression always remains calm as she ignores the shadow guard’s expression of wanting to beat someone up and silently pushes away the person who clings to her like a dog skin plaster, responding to her impossible requests in a flat tone.

However, upon closer observation, one can notice that Song Shu Qing hardly ever lets herself out of Zi Yan’s sight. Her narrowed eyes and slightly raised smile conceal doting affection, and every movement exudes an unknowing tenderness.

Zi Yan’s gaze secretly follows the back of the shadow guard, and her cheeks turn slightly red every time Song Shu Qing whispers something in her ear. Occasionally, she would unconsciously hook her little finger onto her lover’s hand under her wide sleeve, even though her expression appears cold.

Although they were a perfect match, unexpectedly, their progress did not skyrocket like a rocket, but only remained at the level of a brief goodnight kiss.

“Goodnight, Zi Yan.”

Lovingly, Song Shu Qing touched the woman’s slightly damp hair after her shower. On the third floor, she shed her playful daytime demeanor in front of others and gently tucked the covers around her, “Sweet dreams.”

As she looked at Zi Yan’s reluctant expression, she simply smiled reassuringly and blew out the oil lamp before leaving.

At the door, Song Shu Qing sighed softly and turned her neck, emitting a “crackling” sound.

Despite not being a monk without desires, or a clueless fool who can’t pick up on hints, like Qin Qin, it’s impossible for her to resist the temptation, especially when it comes to someone as beautiful and charming as Zi Yan in her eyes.

Whenever she’s alone with Zi Yan, her longing and desire for her lover always scream like little devils in her ear.

『Touch her! Touch her now!』

『Kiss her deeper, she won’t refuse』

“Of course, I know Zi Yan won’t refuse me,” she grumbles, waving her hand in frustration to dismiss the devil on her shoulder that looks just like her, “I just don’t want to do that…”

She couldn’t bear the slightest possibility of hurting Zi Yan.

She understood the woman’s compliance.

She understood all that she had been through.

She understood that physical intimacy would only bring back hopeless memories for Zi Yan.

That’s why Song Shu Qing didn’t want to do it.

At least not until Zi Yan made the decision herself.

“… Take it slow, there’s no need to rush with these things.” Descending the stairs slowly, Song Shu Qing loosened her collar with her fingers. “Just let things happen naturally.”

After all, time is the best medicine for everything.

“Well… even if Zi Yan can never make a decision, it doesn’t matter.” Song Shu Qing thought as she absentmindedly played with the wind chime hanging on the doorframe.

After all, I am a mature adult.

I have long passed the stage of being ruled by hormones and impulsive desires as a young person…

Physical intimacy is not really that important!

Hmm… at least, that’s what I think.