Chapter 267 - Loss And Pain

Inside Dèjà Vu. 

Intentionally or unintentionally, Zhenyi didn't know but Alcina brought Zhenyi to Dèjà Vu. 

Zhenyi looked at the woman dressed in a black dress, pouring a drink for her. She studied her for a moment, and learning that she didn't have any ill intentions towards her, she followed her to the club.

"You shouldn't ask a random woman to accompany you to drinks," Zhenyi said softly. Alcina handed her the glass, and naturally, she took it. "It's not a safe habit." 

Alcina laughed, but it didn't reach her beautiful green eyes. "I haven't had any habit that's considered safe, and you are not a stranger. I know your name and you know mine. We have something in common -- broken hearts. Tell me how we are strangers?" 

"You make good arguments, Alcina," Zhenyi told her, a smile appearing on her cherry lips. 

Alcina smiled in return. "I do. He rubbed it on me." 

"Ah, failed love," Zhenyi said, taking a sip. "Is that why you asked me for a drink?"

"What is love?" Alcina asked." I asked you for a drink on a whim. Seems like we could give each other company." 

Zhenyi glanced at her again. She didn't see mocking or sarcasm on her face. 

"How do you know that you're in love, Zhenyi?" Alcina asked a while later. 

Zhenyi herself had no reply. She was as much a novice in this world of love as Alcina. "I don't know either, but I do know that I can't live without my husband. My need for him is instinctive. They say when you feel like you can't live without him/her, you're in love." 

"Do you love your husband?" Alcina asked her genuinely. She didn't know why but she needed her to answer it honestly. 

Zhenyi froze. "I claimed that I love my husband, but the definition I just mentioned didn't fit for what I feel for him." 

'What I feel for him is greater than any title and tag. It just can't be love.' 

A beautiful smile bloomed on Alcina's lips."He is very lucky to have you, Zhenyi. Treasure him if he feels the same for you." 

"No, it's me who's lucky to have him in my life," Zhenyi honestly said. 

"That you're," Alcina agreed. 

"Alcina, have we ever met before?" Zhenyi asked her. 

"Why do you think so?" Alcina asked her instead. 

"Because you talk to me with so much familiarity." Zhenyi liked Alcina, it was not every day that she met someone and liked her instantly. She could feel Alcina's genuine concern towards her which was startling and scaring her. 

"No, Zhenyi we have never met before." 

Zhenyi nodded. 

Alcina saw that Zhenyi had emptied the glass. So, she poured another drink for her. 

Zhenyi gulped it in one go and asked her to pour another one. 

"You are already tipsy. So, I think you shouldn't drink more," Alcina advised her. 

Zhenyi gave her a sad smile. "You said alcohol will nurse our broken heart, but all I still feel is never-ending pain. Why can't I stop hurting?" 

Seeing Zhenyi blabbering, Alcina felt a headache coming. She didn't want to see her vulnerable and heartbroken, because even she didn't have I'll intentions towards her. There were many people surrounding her, waiting for one chance to recognize her weakness and kill her. 

The reason why Alcina asked Zhenyi for a drink was that when she accidentally came across her, she noticed her alone. No bodyguard was following her. It was like asking for death. She couldn't believe how she could be so careless. That's why she looked for a reason to follow her. 

Although Zhenyi was strong enough to protect her, she still was not in her right senses. Alcina knew as long as she was around her, she was capable of protecting her. After all, she was an assassin. She was known as a killing machine. Though she left that occupation, she still hadn't forgotten how to kill, when it came to people she cared for. 

She didn't care for Zhenyi, but she cared for someone who cared for her. 

"Your husband won't be happy if you drink so much," Alcina told her. 

"He is not h-" Zhenyi hiccupped." Here. So, it won't be a problem." She became sad again and as she said," I lost my baby, and it's the only way I know to forget the pain. I also don't want to forget the pain. I also want to feel how it felt because I deserve it." 

Alcina took the glass from Zhenyi's hand and said, "It's not healthy for you to drink alcohol after miscarriage." She felt like scolding her harshly. Taking her hand, she checked Zhenyi's pulse and frowned. "Are you sure you had a miscarriage?" 

Zhenyi nodded. "More than two months ago. But I just got to know today. Everyone lied to me. They kept me in darkness all along." 

Alcina understood the situation. Hiding matters from Zhenyi was not the right way to deal with the problem. 

Although she wanted to scold her for acting vulnerable and weak, still she didn't have the heart to do so. The loss of your loved ones changed you, and she understood it more than anyone else. So, she softened her tone and said, "If alcohol helps you to lessen the pain, then let me pour more for you." 

Zhenyi nodded. 

After a while, Alcina said," The pain is the reminder that you lost a part of you, Zhenyi. You lost the baby for who you have given every piece of yourself, just to see a smile on his face. To hear your baby call you 'mom' is the biggest joy in the world. No wealth or treasure can make you feel the same. If you want to cry, then cry. Don't suppress your feelings. You have every right to mourn the loss of your child." 

Zhenyi whispered, "I never wanted a child because all along, I knew deep down in my heart that I will never be a fit mother. I despise children. I will always run in a different direction whenever I come across one. Yet, after losing my own child, I felt like something is ripping my heart open. I know that I will never be completely able to get over this loss." 

"But you will learn to live with this loss, Zhenyi. And even if you don't, you will pretend to learn it. I understand it way better than anyone else." 

"Do you?" Zhenyi asked her. 

The words that Alcina said next made Zhenyi look at her with wide eyes. 

"I lost my child five years ago."