Chapter 190 A red tear

Ravina and Malachi ate their food in a relatively comfortable mood. Ravina ate more than usual and had some wine with it. She was getting used to the spicy food. Malachi wasn’t sure if she had just regained her appetite or if she was eating the stress away. Either way, she needed to eat.

Malachi ordered some sweets, reminding her that they would help remove the spicy taste. Once Ravina took a bite, she became thoughtful.

“Was this where you got the sweets for me?”

He nodded. “Yes.”

Ravina ate them with great appetite while nodding. Malachi could hear the sound of her chewing, slowly increasing in intensity in his mind as she put piece after piece in her mouth and then licked the sugar off her fingers. She was certainly eating some feelings away.

“Shall we go to the mountains?” She asked once she finished. “I know it is dangerous, but I would just love to sleep in that temple again.”

She was in turmoil inside, looking for the mountains to help her. Malachi couldn’t deny her.

“Yes. Let’s go.”

They took their horses and rode up the mountain to the empty temple on top, where he had tattooed her waist before. It was dark and a little cold up on the mountain, and Malachi went ahead of her to light some candles in there.

Ravina walked inside through one door and went out through the other on the back to see the view of the mountains. She stood near the rail, allowing the wind to blow her hair back. Her light hair had turned orange while they were watching the sunrise together that day. Now it was more silvery, like the moonlight.

Malachi watched her in silence near the door for a while, taking in her beauty that shone at night. The cold and calm atmosphere was just like her aura. But that night she also had a silent language, like the one in her eyes at the moment.

Leaving her for a while, he placed the thin mattresses on the floor. It would probably be too cold for her to stay here the whole night. Suddenly, she was beside him, grabbing the mattress and helping him lay it down. She remained crouching and gazed his way.

“You’re very quiet,” she observed.

He was. He just didn’t know what to say. “It must be the calm of the mountains.”

“Or the tavern,” she teased, pointing out that he had been quiet during dinner as well.

Then she looked down with a heavy expression. “I know the situation today wasn’t a comfortable one to be in.” She began, almost as if apologizing for what had happened.

“I am sure it was more difficult for you,” he replied.

She gazed up, her eyes swelling with pain and her face tightening. “I-I didn’t think it would be like this,” she admitted.

Why? Because she was supposedly cold?

If finding his breedmate had taught him anything, then it was that emotions were powerful things. They could be intense. Sometimes they couldn’t be explained and could be instant, and other times they grew over time. One could not get rid of them just because one wanted to. In many ways, emotions were similar to instincts, being a response to the environment around them.

No matter how much it bothered him, he knew this was not a deliberate act but rather an instinctual and emotional response on her part. Whatever kind of relationship she had with him, he could tell it had been one where she found something of value in it. She had told him he understood her and saw her. Maybe that was something she valued a lot.

“It is normal to feel that way,” he said, sitting down

She put her knees down on the mattress and relaxed a little but he could tell it was all weighing down on her. As the wind blew in, she shivered a little.

“It might be too cold to sleep here,” he warned.

“It is fine,” she said.

“Come,” he held his hand out. She took his hand, and he gently drew her closer. “You need to sleep close by to stay warm.”

He lay down with her, holding her in his arms. She adjusted herself and rested her head on his arm. He could feel her hot breath against his chest and her small body pressing against his.

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They lay in the quiet night, but she couldn’t sleep.

“Ravina?”

“Hmm…”

He took a deep breath. “I know I haven’t reacted well to Ares. I know I have been insensitive to your feelings. I am probably not the most comfortable person to talk to about your feelings regarding him and this situation, but I want you to know I will not react in the same manner if you need to talk. I have come to understand it is difficult for you as well, and I want to help.”

A long silence followed until he realized she was crying. He pulled back to look at her with a frown. “Ravina?”

She sobbed, hiding behind her hair and hands as if embarrassed, or maybe that was just how she cried.

“It is so difficult,” she admitted, crying, and it struck him like a knife through his heart. She never admitted to those things.

“I don’t know what to do or how to feel. I don’t understand anything.” She continued, through the sobs. “I thought I would be happy to at least see him alive, to see him again. Now I feel like a bad person.”

“You are not,” he assured. “It is normal to be confused.” He wasn’t sure but he said it to make her feel better.

“It is too much. I have not even had time to think of father yet and let him go. I can’t. A part of me is thinking he might be alive, but what is the point? My uncle is also dying, so I will lose him either way. I will lose him again, and why do I even think that way? Am I right or just wishing for something?”

It dawned on him just how much she had been through in the short period she had been here. It wasn’t just about Ares. She was overall confused, worried, and scared.

“I haven’t even found my sister.” She added in a slightly different tone of voice. “I have lost focus of what I want, and I don’t even know myself anymore.”

She was changing and healing, and that could be frightening and unfamiliar. He wanted to tell her about her sister but he didn’t want to get her hopes up. All he could say was, “We will find your sister.”

Her sister and the half-dragons were still a mystery. He needed to find out more about them.

She continued to cry and apologized after a while, but she couldn’t stop herself.

“It is alright,” he assured, allowing her to cry and just holding her close. She had allowed him to cry and consoled him when she had been suffering like this inside. He realized just how bad he was at creating a safe room for her to allow her emotions to come out, as she had done for him.

She cried for a long while until she couldn’t breathe steadily and small gasps escaped her lips. Her body had become warm from all the release of emotions and shaking, and now slowly, her breathing stabilized and her body stopped shaking.

Malachi stroked her hair gently, calming her into slumber. He didn’t realize how tense he was until she fell asleep and his body relaxed. The scent of tears and the feeling of deep sorrow remained in the air and gradually he fell asleep as well.