CH 55

Chapter 55 – Follow-up and Apologies

Last night, I realized how stupid I was and felt so guilty that I slipped out of Moriyama-kun’s sleeping arms.

Haruko-chan accepted me so kindly that I managed to go to bed, but this morning I realized that I had blundered again.

I ran away from Moriyama-kun.

What kind of face should I make when I meet Moriyama-kun?

I’m so sorry for Moriyama-kun, I don’t have the confidence to smile at him.

Besides, he might be disappointed in me for running away.

I’m a woman who has been friendly with him, has shown that I like him, even insinuated that I was ready to have s*x with him last night, only to walk out of his room because he fell asleep…

I know it’s an excuse, but I couldn’t sleep in Moriyama-kun’s arms like that yesterday.

If I had stayed, I don’t think I would have been able to bear the guilt.

But that doesn’t matter to Moriyama-kun.

For Moriyama-kun, it’s all about me running away.

Haruko-chan was still sleeping, so I thought alone in agony in my sleepwear.

Before I went to bed, I was full of guilt about Moriyama-kun.

Now, one night later, apart from the guilt, the regret of running away has also hit me.

The clock shows that it is already just before 9 o’clock.

If I hadn’t run away, I would have woken Moriyama-kun up and had breakfast with him by now.

It’s hard to see Moriyama-kun.

I don’t think I’m qualified to give Moriyama-kun a kind smile.

I just want to run away from this house and go home without seeing anyone.

I’m getting a stomach ache.

I may never have been under such severe stress before.

I got out of bed quickly so as not to wake Haruko-chan and went straight to the bathroom.

My stomach was not feeling well and I had to stay in there for more than 10 minutes.

Then there was a knock at the door.

“It’s occupied”, I responded. Immediately afterwards, there was a loud noise and grunting coming from outside the door.

It’s because I occupied the bathroom for so long!

What do I do, what do I do?

I wiped myself off quickly, got dressed, and opened the door.

There was Moriyama-kun, covered in vomit and crouching down.

I feel a sense of hopelessness that leaves me dizzy.

I wonder how far I will go to hurt Moriyama-kun.

I helped Moriyama-kun by helping him up by his shoulders, and managed to carry him into the toilet, put his face into the toilet bowl, and rubbed his back to make him vomit up the leftovers.

I was so sorry that I repeated “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” like a spell, and I couldn’t stop crying.

Moriyama-kun shook his head repeatedly without uttering a word.

As I was doing so, Auntie came to my rescue, perhaps having heard the noise and noticed the anomaly.

Auntie took Moriyama-kun to the bathroom, and I, who was left behind, could not stand up immediately as if I had lost my back in the sour stench of vomit and diarrhea.

In that posture, I began to unify my mind.

Feelings of guilt, disgust, anxiety, sadness, fear, joy, and so on. I try to push them all out of my head, focusing on nothing.

But I just can’t get it right.

The image of Moriyama-kun’s suffering from earlier is stuck in my head and won’t go away.

And I’ve been unable to stop crying.

“W-What’s wrong with you, Himeka-san!?”

Haruko-chan had woken up and came to me.

“I’m sorry, Haruko-chan. Moriyama-kun threw up in here earlier, and Auntie just took him to the bathroom.”

“Eh!? My brother did? But Himeka-san looks terrible too! Anyway, Himeka-san, let’s take a shower and change. Can you stand up?”

“I’m sorry, I just can’t seem to get up…”

“Just wait a minute! I’ll bring you something to wipe off the stain at least!”

She then prepared a warm hand towel and brought it to me.

“Thank you, Haruko-chan. But I have one more request. I’m going to clean this place, so could you lend me some rags that you don’t mind getting dirty?”

“Seriously! You don’t have to do that, Himeka-san! I’ll take care of the rest!”

“No, Haruko-chan, please let me do the cleaning. I’m sure it’s my fault that Moriyama-kun threw up.”

I couldn’t stand up, so I bowed my head right there and begged.

“…Okay. Let’s both clean up. And when we’re done, we’ll shower together again, okay?”

“Yeah, sorry.”

After cleaning, I got up and went to the bathroom with the help of Haruko-chan and took a shower.

When I got out of the bath and was drying my hair in Haruko-chan’s room, Moriyama-kun came into the room.

Moriyama-kun had my study tool, and when he handed it to me, he said,

“Urushibara-san, I’m sorry for showing you my bad side earlier. Also, I went to bed before you last night and I’m very sorry. I deeply regret it. If you want me to apologize by cutting my belly open, I’ll do it. Please forgive me.”

Then he bowed his head.

And with his head still down…

“And I’m sorry you came all this way, but I’m not feeling well today. So, let’s cancel the study session.”

When he starts exaggerating like this, I usually stop him right away and say, “You’re exaggerating!”

But I couldn’t stop him now.

I was so shocked I couldn’t speak.

It was the same with Haruko-chan, who was at a loss for words.

Because, Moriyama-kun kept hitting his head on the floor and apologizing.

I kept hearing thumps and thumps and thumps, and it should hurt, but I didn’t try to stop him.

I couldn’t help but blame myself for my own stupidity.

Last night, I realized what I have been doing and how I have been pushing my feelings towards Moriyama-kun.

However, I ran away from there and pushed Moriyama-kun further to the point that he fell ill.

Everything I do and have done is a nuisance to Moriyama-kun, isn’t it?

How stupid can I be?

Seeing Moriyama-kun’s bright red forehead, I finally regained my senses.

“I’m sorry! Moriyama-kun did nothing wrong! It’s all my fault! I’m the one who has caused you so much trouble! I’m sorry.”

I slammed my head into the floor with a thump, just like Moriyama-kun did.